Yesterday, an officemate asked me if I was still caring for my father, and some details about it. She's finally been able to get her mother moved into an assisted-living home, and has a general Power of Attorney but dealing with headaches of real estate people and attorneys not wanting THAT one, they want a specific one and the mom in person and yadda yadda, five doctors and my coworkers sister has not been helping. Etc. It's good to reads others journals, but to share IRL is good, too. She sometimes has to pretend she's her mother when talking with people and companies, but I can't impersonate my father as readily as I'm a woman, not a man. And then she remembered I was also caring, as a single parent, for my daughter, too. "How do you do it?" "I don't." Which surprised her, so I tried to clarify, because I have finally admitted that I am not doing a great job at all of this. "Not like I should be, but I try, and I'm doing what I can." Relief would be good. All these details that are not easy to finagle. But, I'm working on it:) I've got more contacts to try.
A friend asks me if I'm going to get meds for me. Well, yes, I do intend to, have a name of someone, but fitting ME in when I have M and my father, and not much spare money, I mean to but it hasn't happened yet. Relief in time.
I was a bit surprised Dad didn't call me a few times this morning to see just what time I was coming by. Ends up, he'd thrown his cell phone into his bedroom, and the way it bounced, he thought it went under the bed. For some reason which I did NOT ask for clarification on, he'd had his cell phone in with him in the shower. I did go by, turned off the shower ALL the way, replaced linens and towels with clean ones, and finally found his phone, near the bedroom door. It still works; he called me later.
And other things, going over bills, and a short fuss as he'd left spoiling strawberries on his wooden table I'd spent a long time cleaning and getting back to decent condition. A touch base during the week visit, which I think I have to stay doing routinely. Less to do this weekend.
But, thee best news, he doesn't owe any property taxes. Last years, and this years which isn't even due until next Friday and then next installment in December, are PAID! I was worried as the last notice I'd seen, from April, said 2005's taxes hadn't been paid, and they could put a tax lien on the house and even sell the home. I didn't really want to take Dad to the bank today for a certified check for his property taxes; it's a hassle on him and extra time from work for me. I'd seen a notice on the latest bill for this years taxes about paying online. Heck, that'd work well. He has a credit of $16.58. I read it a couple times. I called to verify, as the "due 9/30" amount was still listed along with the credit. Nope, he has that credit for 2006. She then was patient and checked on 2005 for me, somehow not caring that I was not my father -- told me the date those had been paid, also. We're talking a large hunk of money, he does NOT owe, it's not an issue, and we'd almost just gone and re-paid (at least this years first installment), also leaving him with some squeeze room for this coming month.
So, this is our bit of relief for the week:) Oh, and that bill I didn't think he had money for, ha, it wasn't a bill or payment, just regular mail.
It's in the 70's, M was to go to a farm this afternoon with her class, for community service (Flat Stanley in her backpack). I picked up the board game of Clue, being M's not as interested in the local high school football games anymore, unless they are specific ones. Hmmm, wonder if the one near us has a home game tonight? I think they do not, however. Maybe hang new blinds this weekend, maybe take Flat Stanley on a walk in the park, and show him the wigwam M's class is making. I look forward to spending time with her:) I imagine it's a good barn afternoon today, too, allergies but, otherwise, good.
Last night was grief counseling time for M's dance troupe and other dance students who wished to join, and I'm SO glad I took her. She obviously needed it, found a way to get it out some. V was there, too:) Real excited to see V stuck with this dance school, and we'll still see her regularly -- M just hugged and hugged V, crying about all of her grief about Amy, I suppose, and thankful to see her friend again as well. I have found community within this dance school -- not just at this new to us studio, but overall, the other studio, and this one. I just prefer the weddings (M has performed at), over the funerals, of course. I do prefer the focus on enjoying dance, and caring about each other, over a strong emphasis on competing and who is dancing at what level that some schools have.
(Next week -- call Dad's mortgage company. His payments are at an astronomical rate right now, up another $200. or so from previous to the foreclosure problems, and even the rate before that was quite high IMHO. But, that'll be next week's "dad" problem, and that leak.)
One day, one week at a time. Life is precious.
LOL, so is having my cell phone -- the cleaning woman at my office turned in my cell phone I'd left in the bathroom, not that I knew it was missing. I am thankful:) These things need cords or something ! ;)
Hang in there. You can only do your best. :) ~ Mike
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