Thursday, September 21, 2006

Questioning God, part 2

I've been thinking more about this questioning God bit.   I do think it's okay, and healthy, to question God's intent and purpose and for clarification, maybe even on other things, isn't that part of a good relationship?   I do think that it's NOT really okay to question His ultimate authority.   I also know that God knows best, and that He won't always answer us when we want it, and ha, He may have a sense of humour and great love for us, but that doesn't mean He has to go allowing us the answers we want, or the loopholes that we desire.   No, like children, sometimes, we do NOT know everything, and we do NOT know best, even about and for ourselves.   Hard lesson to learn sometimes.
Amy, the dancer who was buried along with her father yesterday, was the second oldest of six girls.  Her older sister, Emily, had gone for about 3 1/2 weeks to a boarding school to learn about joining the convent / if she was called for that.   Apparently, she kept getting told to go home -- not to not join the convent, but right now in her life, she is to go home.  I think this was about a week before she and Amy and their other sister, Mary, were playing in the ocean with their father last Thursday.   Emily was hearing from God.  God knew.   And, Emily and the family all feel better that Emily is there, helping her mother, etc.   She didn't know why God was calling for her to go home, just that He was.  
A few years back, SO and I broke up.   I was truly at a loss as to WHY.   I finally just had to accept that it was.  I always like to know why, for a breakup, for an illness, for anything -- I want the reasons, the purpose, the inner workings.   I like to know and to understand.   I wasn't getting an answer (and even he couldn't quite define to me the why).   I now know why, and it really does not have to do with me, and not fully about "us" even, but then, unless SO was capable of acknowledging the why to himself AND telling me, I wasn't going to know. 
Heck, even the concept that there had to be a child's funeral yesterday, how horrible.  One girl two pews ahead of me just cried and cried.   And, why?   Amy's mother has great faith, but even a person withgreat faith must at least wonder somewhat why her child, and her husband (albeit he died trying to save their child), had perished, gone on to Heaven, why did God take them now?
Sometimes, we just have to trust God, that He (or She) does know best, loves us, cares about us, and we sometimes just have to accept.   Even if we don't like it.  

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