Tuesday, June 6, 2006

Is it too much, or not enough?

Being bored vice having a lot going on is an interesting thing.   I've mentioned before, I can actually get more done and stay on track better when I have more going on.   Yes, I can chill out, like Saturday and sleep for 4 hours (well, that's unusual), or read the newspaper for hours.   I lose track of time, and forget to eat, sometimes, if there's nothing scheduled.   I'm also a detail-oriented person who'd miss the whole forest for getting stuck on all the various trees:)  
A friend commented to me the other day that M and I are just really busy people, and she's not so sure I have ADD, just dealing with a lot of things.   Mind, my job itself was mindless for years and only getting more interesting now b/c of a great new boss, so I have time to think.....
I responded to her:  "Actually, we're also just active people.   I have too many things in my life over the years that point out to me having ADD/ADHD, but certainly trying to keep on top of a lot of things can aggravate it, OR, help force there to be a schedule.   I'm almost more at a loss when nothing is going on.   When there is something planned, there are parameters for me to work with/around.  If that makes any sense at all."
Something I read recently in regards to children and activities (keeping in mind that M typically doesn't have "homework," either):
"Keep in mind the advice of Dr. Lois Nightingale, a psychotherapist in Yorba Linda, California, who says that when children truly have a passion for something and want to excel at it, they rarely feel too much stress or pressure. "It is more often when the parents are 'giving the child the opportunity they never had' that troubles start,"she says."
This makes sense to me:)  
When M says she wants to leave a treasured playdate early to go to a riding lesson, bummed b/c it's grooming and not riding, but then 2 hours later, is still not feeling ready to LEAVE, lol, it's cuz she enjoys it:)   I do think balance is important.   I do think she should have a huge say in what she's involved in, not the ultimate say, but listened to seriously.    She also needs to follow through when she makes a commitment, and me to support her if I've agreed she could do something, unless aspects change or something.   M has said several times this past year that she'd like to take ballet again.   She really wants to stay performing and doing Irish stepdancing, so, I'll make that commitment to drive her to that other place once a week ugh.   Not every performance and we've said no, but generally to be involved.   She needs downtime, chill time, hang at home time, or hang w/ Grandma time, etc. (her schedule w/ C is set and she gets a fair bit of time there).   Her mind wants stimulation, too, and she is a physical child, so heck, dancing once a week was almost like not doing much, lol.   Riding is right after school, her daycare.   This hadn't seemed like a lot, but certain seasons it can add up.  
There's also a balance for myself.   I don't do nearly as much youth advisor "work" as I'd like to, for example, just b/c of time with M comes first, and the rest of my life, but I love it when I can.   Dancing is important to me, as I've learned from M, wow, I LOVE this for me, too:)   (I can feel a natural high from dancing, sometimes.)   If I have the time, it never feels like work.   (But my other groups ceili's, I ONLY go to either if M's w/ her dad, or if she is wanting to go -- not many kids at those.)   Sometimes dog walking can feel like work, but I made that commitment, so hey:)   Daisy is part of the family now.   Sometimes the walking is nice.
Eh, just some thoughts from a bit ago I hadn't had a chance to enter:)

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