Daughter of an Alcoholic

Taking some time to search around journal-land.   I won't post the link of the journal I found, as the girl is in fifth grade, maybe 10 or 11-years old depending upon when her birthday is.  (What the heck is a fifth grader doing with a public journal?)   I almost named my 6th grade daughter this girls name:)   B wrote an entry yesterday that she's on her way to camp, I think with her class, and was excited:)  I hope it's good for her, like M's camp was with her class.   In another one, B mentions that her father is an alcoholic, and a couple sentences related to that.   My heart breaks for her.   My father is an alcoholic, too.  His has varied over the decades, but it is what it is, just with nuances that vary slightly from family to family.   Sometimes, too much is similar almost like we're in the same awful "club."

I'm glad she has this outlet at least, and B, if you read this, do know that I think you write pretty well!   Vent, say what you need to, and don't relay anything too personal or identifying just in case weirdos are reading your profile.   

I know alcoholism is a disease.  I know that too damn well.   It has ripples through an entire family, for decades; heck, it can break up families (sometimes for the better).   It can be genetic, oftentimes skipping a generation but not necessarily.   It can cause a form of dementia.   My father's had a few strokes, and he also was in a great depression after his mother, my beloved late grandma, died.   But the alcohol has also eaten up some of his brain cells, too.

My mother finally left my father, let him have the house, etc., and she, my brother, and I, moved out.   (That greatly summarizes a couple years worth of stuff, not even counting their "giving it a try" phase that was really hell on earth.)   Neither of them are actually confrontational, and, gee, guess what, either am I.   But, I still know that I didn't feel as if I could just invite friends over, or tell people, and there are many alcoholics who are NOT drunk all the time.   Heck, possibly most are not I don't know.   I had a boss once who I know was an alcoholic, he just wasn't during work hours, usually.   But, I knew.  

This girl has friends, might have a new boyfriend!!!, and yet even said that no one knows what all she goes through because of her home life.   Gosh, I cry for her.   B, if you're reading this, God be with you, find a friend IRL whom you can confide in and trust, yes, I know trust is important, know you are NOT alone, thousands of youth have a parent who drinks too much and irresponsibly.   And remember, it may seem an eternity until you are old enough to move away, but, you will make it:)   And, it's okay to still love him, too, or hate him, or hate his actions, whatever.