talking w/ my dad

So I talk with dad last week, and visit with him, wow, what a great week he's had, I'm thinking.   He's been so lucid, so aware, remembering a lot.   (M laughs a bit when I tell her, "and Doug's getting worse?" "Um, yeah, maybe, honey, but in small ways right now, nothing really worrisome.")

I tell him that I won't come by on Sunday, that M is in a feis and where it'll be, which is the opposite direction from his house, and a distance away.   I would come by on Saturday.   Friday exhausted me, I suppose, or the week, or the combination.   M was still sleeping, Daisy was comfy after our brisk walk, I went back to sleep, to Mom calling me, then Doug, but ultimately, slept until about 12:30.   Wow, very rare indeed.   Apparently M had been awake earlier but stayed in her room reading and such, letting me sleep until she smelled the soy sausages I was making, so we got some for her, too, toasting the weekend with some egg nog I'd found.  (Neither of us like the feel of corn syrup in our egg nog so this was a tough find.)    Ahhh, the afternoon gorgeous -- what could be better than a November Saturday afternoon?   I hope Daisy enjoyed that walk as much as I did:)   Okay, add autumn temperatures and not winter temperatures, and we have it made.   Time kept going so fast for how slow we relaxingly moved........   chatting with BJ and other friends, M doing research for homework, other stuff.   No time to visit Dad properly AND get to the ceili that night.

(Side note -- Frank -- a ceili is a dance, and a ceili is also a TYPE of dance.   The dance itself that's called a ceili is typically full of both ceili dances and set dances of Irish "folk" dances, so to speak.  This particular one had NO set dances, surprisingly, albeit great live music, food!, dancing and more music, and general fun geared to a beginner level.   Some of my favorite ceili's include some faster, more advanced level set dances, but I don't get too picky really if it's fun.)

I couldn't reach my father -- his cell phone is on vibrate.   I cannot figure out how to get this new one of his to ring, not vibrate.  I can turn off the vibrate, but not turn on a ring.   Apparently, we'll have to get M to do it, lol.  (It's a Nextel, and they don't make much sense to me.)   Dad finally calls me, "Were you coming by today?"  I'm relieved.   I think of years ago when we'd go hiking on such days as this, how he "taught me" as we'd say, "the beauty in a tree."   Well, he shared it, as did others, and I love it today.   (I would have loved camping ah well, another weekend.)   We chatted a while, him seeming to understand fully that I wasn't coming until Monday now, he'd need the newspapers and trash taken out to the curb at a minimum.   Talked yet again of my mother's families heart history, like we did my last visit to his place, ironically, and other things.   A good talk, and I felt better for I'd actually wanted to see him that day.  

Sunday at the feis, in the chaotic gymnasium full of bouncing noise, I get voicemail messages on my cell from Dad, who can't hear me call him back, "I thought you were coming today, it's Sunday."   Oy!  "I dn't have any food."   Ha, he does and I know it:)  Just perhaps not what he wants, but I don't feel guilty, I can't fall for that, it's not true.

My boss asks me today how things are.   He's been helping care for his dad lately, but he meant in terms of my mother and the ER trip.   We talk a bit, he tells me to do whatever I need to do, which is great:)   I let him talk a bit, too, and I tell him that we're in the sandwich generation.   "I've never thought of that before."   He's younger, in his late 30's, this is still new to him.  

Today, Dad calls, today he remembers, it's today I'm coming:)   Except he wants vermouth.   Um, no dad, I'm not bringing that for you, besides, it's time off of work for me to come, I won't spend my vacation time bringing you alcohol.  

M calls, "Mom, don't wash my polos yet."   She means these fleece-like wraps that go around a horses ankles.   "Why?"  "I'll explain everything later."   "Don't you have a riding lesson?"  (My mother pays for those, thankfully.)   I don't know why my child thinks I'd have had time wash her polos between when she called and, well, tonight when M would see me.  LOL.  

Off to bring in mail, take out recycling and trash, and chat for a bit.   Dag, running short on time for groceries, too............   sigh!  I'll figure it out.  But,no booze.

 

Tags: elderly, dementia