Been busy with a lot to write for this past week, later. Caretaking means balancing ones own needs in there, too, along with my father's, and the dog's and the cats' and especially M's! but I'm not always so good at taking care of mine. Breathe, BJ writes that sometimes he just needs space to breathe (in life cuz he's really busy right now), and how am I....
M dances and I get some dancing in and I see that as helping us balance out our lives in a way to keep us sane. And, finally, I think I get it. To take steps, one needs balance. To obtain greater technical and fun accuracy with ones steps, includes refining ones balance as well. To take greater steps, the next step by step by step, as I'm trying with my father, but in life as well and in walking and dancing, balance is critical.
Thanks, God:) For the glorious site of fallen Japanese red maple leaves at Dad's house Sunday that I just had to rake off the driveway to be outside, and Daisy walks especially on Friday morning near M's school after dropping her off there. Children were laughing from the playground behind the main building, beautiful warm mid-70's day predicted. That teacher must have decided to let her young students play for 15 minutes before starting her class, understanding the balance needed of academia and physical / social time, or, well, play and swinging on such a fall day :) I wish I had time for this every weekday. For M dancing in the large festival on Saturday, I heard an estimate of 700 but I suspect that number was way too high an estimate of the particular audience watching her and her dance school's show. She had fun:) I'm so glad. It went well (Si dancing, too). Thanks, Lord. For the youth pastor calling me back after our first conversation, checking on the status of things at Dad's, for I'd called him amongst others, yes, I finally broke down and am asking for help. Doug hasn't, for he has his own issues, but, to have others call me back, it's great:) Thanks, Beth, for her continuing support. And even for my father, who in the midst of me spending 5 hours there mostly cleaning up the soaked kitchen floor, et al, but some shopping and mail, and getting his feet traced, too, for remembering the social aspect. The balance. That upside down Jenny plane stamp he's told me of forever, recently found (or a copy of) on an absentee ballot in Florida. I'm glad he'd noticed that article. He pulled out his stamp collections and showed me the "what it should have been" stamp, and retold me the story of the sheet of 100 upside down ones:)
Taking lots of steps lately, I sometimes feel as if I'm going to just SSSSSSNNNNNAAAAAAAAA getting close to adding that PPPPPP on there, but not yet I haven't. Somehow. I can't do this all. Some steps forward, some steps in place, but, if I don't remember to balance, if God's not there with me, or with M, or whomever, we couldn't dance:) (i.e., couldn't stay living life without falling)
Sometimes I do feel as if I'm going to break, I can't do it all. I've known that. This slap of a reminder that if I DON"T take care of myself enough, too, I can't take care of others, well, "This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it!" Rainy pouring days, bright warm colorful fall days, all of them. Life goes on, and I am not alone.
Besides, I have Algebra to try to remember with M lol, and discussions as to just what the last chapter in Animal Farm truly means, and yes, okay, we can go shopping one night for she'll need a birthday gift for a classmate this weekend, and me pretending I can stepdance (very laughable as if "dancing at Lunasa") and silly stuff. These things aren't chores; time with her is a joy. Even if balancing.