Sunday, October 15, 2006

Ticked at myself........

M is in a show this afternoon, oh yes, going on right now, and I'm not there.   For my own fault.  I checked out directions a week ago or so, but the map for that location only showed the most local of roads there, and, um, it's in the suburbs of another main city, not "my" main city (DC).  I talked with another parent briefly, oh okay, from my understanding of what she'd said, and this week and again this morning, looking at a map I have, I figured a full hour to get there.   Nope, finally did an online directions bit, 1 hour 37 minutes, what, wait?   That's not counting traffic into the festival and parking and walking, either.   I was doomed, I'd not be there in time, spending too long at my father's to have allowed an additional 40 minutes driving..........  URGH.  (Actually, I had to do the directions as if coming from my mother's or else those online directions tell me to go way south, around, and up, and not, well, cross-state and then over, so I really had to add another 20 minutes to the 1 hour 37 and sigh, REALLY doomed to miss my sunshine.)

They should be having a blast:)  I can imagine them in their regular dance school dresses, not in the backup if it's hot dresses, as it's NOT hot out, nope, perfect weather for dancing, really, just cool enough to stay not overly heated.   I want to see her, I wanted to be there, I'm always there for her, except once when I was chaperoning a retreat but she knew that in advance.   UGH, I'm so ticked.  I hope the volunteer school photographer is there:)   I hope M is having fun, not too worried I"m not there, gosh I feel badly.   I e-mailed her, but she's mostly not allowed online any more once Sh figured out I e-mail M sometimes (even though contact is to be encouraged).   I did call M last night (not that she's likely to even get the message).  

I'm wearing M's rings, that she'd left by mistake, cuz I know she wants them.  I want to know how her wrist is -- practicing one of thee coolest of dances, albeit TOO many dancers in it this year, IMHO, M hurt her wrist again, so she went to school Friday a.m. in my wrist brace, deciding no to a doctor, but still in some pain......  so I hope it's okay today:)

It's sunny and bright and I think high 60's outside, not sure, but almost chilly even with a polartec top over two layers, for ME, I bet it's gorgeous and fun.  She loves dancing and performing:) and her 4-year old half-sister, Si, will be there to watch, and it's a family-style festival.....   UGH, didn't wish to interfere per se, just wanted to watch M, share with her, her moments.

Sigh.  I know I'm a good mom.   I know I'm a good daughter, still stopping by Dad's today just cut it short, so I could see M, cuz I knew he expected me today, still getting him to change clothes, pick up the trash and put it out, go through mail and etc., talked w/ the dogwalking neighbor, bless her, she brings up Dad's newspaper every day to the carport from the road.   A neighbor who isn't judging, a neighbor who is just trying to help, gosh, not interfere negatively, we can really use that.    Heck, I'm even a good pet owner.

I just didn't wish to screw up not seeing M this afternoon.  And, I hope she's not too disappointed, too.

1 comment:

  1. In all the years I was playing sports or singing, I remember my parents coming to three events. Doesn't bother me a bit. Of course, maybe it's different with girls, but I would bet she does that stuff more for herself and the camaraderie she gets out of it, than to show off for mom. Just make sure you're there for the next one. ;)