Ah, so how the basic law here in my county, or perhaps my state, per the police officer I happened to ask this weekend, I can file eh, whatever it is I'd file, as soon as the child support is late, no however many days late, but as soon as it becomes late. "You could do it right now," he said more than once, but that I'd have to do it, they / the court won't. Well, it was a weekend, so I'm not so sure about that exactly, if I could have filed over a weekend I mean, but. He was referring to, if need be, having the person owing child support arrested because of it. I don't wish to go that route, especially if M or his other daughter were around, how traumatizing that could be for them; I simply wish it paid within a reasonable amount of time from when it's due (of course, if he actually had a financial hardship, then talk w/ me about it, but, he doesn't, he has money). I shouldn't have to go waiting and waiting (and asking him simply has him get defensive combined with, potentially, making him feel that I need it so he's wanting to hold onto it even longer, being passive/aggressive, and not seeing it's for M's expenses.) Yet, this is interesting. My friend was correct, having said that if it were his state, 4 weeks late already, the guy would have been arrested by now.
I pulled out said order yet again, the one just for child support. "ORDERED, that accounting from (month) 1, 200x, the (C as the NCP) shall pay child support to the (me as the CP) in the amount of $(x) per month; and it is further ORDERED, that if the obligor accumulates support payments arrears amounting to more than 30 days of support, the obligor shall be subject to service of an Earnings Withholding Order, and it is further............. (about him having to notify the court within 10 days of any change of address or employment as long as the Order is in effect, and the potential penalty, etc.).
He is self-employed, owns his own business, hence why the judge didn't have the Earnings Withholding Order done at the time of the Child Support Order.
So, how I am reading this is that it IS due the first of the month, every month (no ending date provided but typically age 18 in Maryland), and just he won't be servided a wage-garnishment order until it's 30 days late. Doesn't mean that 4 weeks late isn't 4 weeks late,it's just that 28 days late isn't quite yet 30 days late. I could still go to the courthouse and file, heck, I could tomorrow but I won't I don't even have time tomorrow, and state, legitimately, that I have not received child support. Heck, even August's wasn't mailed (or was it received?) until August 23rd. It's rare to receive the child support in advance of the 1st of the month, I think perhaps twice total in all these years. It, however, used to arrive within the first week, then over time shifted, and lately, has shifted a LOT. I don't find it acceptable, and I'm happy to hear that it's NOT. I had been misreading this.
C believes that the CS he pays is not late until it hits the magic number of 30 days. He also claims that whenever in the month it arrives is okay, and based upon precedence blah blah blah. Of course, if he truly felt 100% okay about it, I'd think he wouldn't write the check with one date, and mail it 10-11 days later (per the postmarks), he'd just write the date out for the date he was actually ready to mail it. So, maybe he's also bluffing?, or just hoping to believe that? I don't think he'd actually risk legal trouble with it (and yet, he is).
I'll wait until M comes home tomorrow, maybe on Tuesday, I'll e-mail him and just ask when he plans to mail child support.
And I need to find all those envelopes, too, with the postmarks.
I can't wait to see her:) I'm not sure if it's at 9am, or 3pm, it could go either way (meaning I'm NOT rocking the boat yet with him, nope), and made myself a copy of the whole thing (Court Order) to re-read over thoroughly again. I just hate thinking of potential hassle and strife, and I've always reason to believe there could be a fight when things like this happen, and I DREAD it. (Okay, can ya tell I don't like to make him mad or get on his bad side, he's not exactly nice to me, so it's hard sometimes.)
But, now I'll race outside -- I haven't gotten a chance to see that wigwam yet, and I think Daisy would love a nice jaunt. Had hoped to go yesterday, but, well, that was a fiasco of a day (for, IMHO, insufficient reason, but whatever). Hmmm, or go tomorrow after M comes home? Eh, we'll see. Maybe both.
It's a terrible thing to live in fear of someone's temper. But asking politely when you are being put in a dab situation is one thing, generally doesn't garner a violent response from bullies. Holding it in until it puts the kids in a bad spot, then unloading may seem to be a better case for argument, but it generally will cause more strife. If you ask now politely, and he still doesn't respond, then at least he's had some warning of the coming storm when you let him have it. Just my suggestion.
ReplyDeleteFred