I like the community here online. Well, mostly. Pharmlo J-land Chat hosted a nice chat for aol journal writers Sunday, which I could only join for part of, and it was a lot of fun. I've come to chat via e-mail with a few people I have "met" solely through our journals. I like reading journals. I feel as if I have made online friendships, which I do cherish. How open, how real, however, IS everyone, can everyone be, publically?
I've had to chose to NOT write about particular things, or relationships with particular people, sometimes people close to my heart even, and that kills me sometimes if a lot is goign on in my heart and head right then. Oh, I include minutae, but I try to avoid identifable mentions (of my daughter or me) in case of stalkers. These are choices I've made in chosing to keep this journal public. I've sometimes struggled with the concept of how much I relay, or how detailed. We're not living in a George Orwellian1984 situation, or, are we? I'm not going to write anything untruthful. Yet, isn't this MY journal? I had this idea, originally, of this aol journal being a bit like a diary, writing for my own purposes, getting out my thoughts, hopes dreams, hey wasn't this a cool day, or a sucky one, outlet. I never handwrite anymore, maybe this way, typing online, I'd get my thoughts out. It's still evolving, less than 1 year old, yet it's not exactly a journal in a diary sense. I want to be real, to be ME, even if I occasionally have to think, wait, I, ah, should censor this (or not write about......), or add this note for those who are not familiar.... Or not say a slightly racy comment I may mention to a close girlfriend or in a private diary, but would never speak outloud publically. I don't really like that. Just as I see only glimpses and some of what makes another blogger that person, in his or her journals, really, how open, utterly open, can we afford to be? (Yeah, okay, so sometimes, I AM jaded.)
I was reminded of my ponderings on this subject by Jeff Zimmerman's post, And I Am Not Lying, For Real: One Long Wednesday Thankfully, however, I have no illusions of finding a job via MY blog. Heck, I'd haveto have the patience to actually go back and edit my entries, requiring reading them. lol Jeff, however, is a great writer, laidoff by aol so many of you may recognize his writing. Would you recognize him, or me, if you happened to be on the same Metro (subway) line, jostled about, trying to keep a hold of the same pole even? Perhaps, visually, perhaps not. Still, do we really KNOW know each other? I'd say, some more than others. Even if, heck, some of you out there I care about, really, perhaps even prayed for you or your situation, praises or for help, or laughed with you, cheering you on.
A local radio station had people calling in to announce to their broadcast world what details would not be relayed to their date on a first date, but held off until later. This isn't exactly the same thing as what does one not post in a journal/blog. But, it can be similar. I'd have no problem relaying my birthdate to a date, for example, and who I work for, while I won't on here. Would I hold off on mentioning my ADD? Eh, I'm not worried. The guy will either have to accept it or not, ultimately. I know I have this, so, shrug, even if I'm much more likely to say I'm a single mother of a wonderful daughter as a first line of introduction. I'd likely hold off mentioning that I have a "blog," or even this screen name. Of course, there may be a couple things I'm not ready to just go divulge on here or to a new guy at all, lol.
Then again, we wouldn't all "know" each other, if we all kept all of our journals private!
Adding later: If you can decipher it:) Fred writes about whether or not to let his IRL friend know of his journal / journalling online life: Fear? No. Not exactly.