Sounds so simple, "I slept." For some, sleeping is not so simple. This go-around, I wasn't even fully aware that my sleep had been less than restful, even fitful perhaps.
One morning I woke from a dream where I'd been given a special needs infant, or ICU preemie, not clear, Angelique, to hold tight, love and care for, as if my job (was I a doctor, a nurse?). The child blossoming later into a healthy girl as if I hadn't fully recognized her. Not even sure why it took me until later to connect that this is analogous to M, albeit w/out the preemie special needs and tubes bit. Not sure that my dream was intended to be analogous with M. Of course, I've been doing my best for MY angel, M, and she is lovely and is growing still. M and my mother teased each other on Christmas Day as M is now slightly taller than my mom, hmmm, maybe 1/4 inch taller albeit that was debated lol. Mom has shrunk over time. M and I wear each others shoes. All three of us at different stages. But this dream was before that.
M and I have also been sick, breathing being tricky while sleeping. Feeling a bit better each day. Mostly, I think it's been stress.
Dad called yesterday as M and I were leaving to go see Charlotte's Web. THIS was the shoe dropping. I'd been in dread, as if a premenition (sp) even, something would / could happen. Not my things after all, which I'm handling, but his ridiculous predator mortgage company. Weirdly, I felt relief. I knew now what the "bad news" was. M and I were going to enjoy a movie:)
Charlotte's Web was the only movie M wanted to see that was being shown early enough for me to be sure we'd be back home in time for her pickup (for her dad's home). We'd read the book when she was very young, perhaps even in primary (preschool/kindergarten combined Montessori class). Yes, I cried. Sheesz. I can be such a sap. Well done movie, surprisingly full of big names. Thankfully no fake lame attempts for a Maine accent (the setting is Maine). M ended up resting her head on my shoulder and I hugged her. We don't get to see movies in the theatre very often, and I'd wanted a special just her and me activity to finish our share of her winter break.
I called Dad back. His mortgage company have been calling him daily, even though he's paying just later in the month as that's when his social security check comes. Yesterday, the guy threatened Dad with foreclosure proceedings. His regular monthly payment is about $550/month, and they've added an escrow amount of over $1,100./month. That's utterly ridiculous. Dad said that he doesn't even bring in that much each month, and was told "that's not our problem." Dad later didn't recall that, yet could give me the guys name and phone number. I will talk with someone else there today, after being certain I've found the signed letter from Dad authorizing them and me to talk with each other.
And, took more steps on my things. One big one. I'm a daughter of an accountant, and have ADD. I never did my own taxes; Dad did them until he couldn't any longer. Actually, he still did and then I'd go over them after. The last thing he wished to give up was doing tax returns for his immediate family and himself, so I'd let him just didn't trust it as fully those last years. (One of the earlier years I asked him about EIC, and he said it hadn't occurred to him as none of his other clients qualify. Otherwise, he was on top of it all.) I can tell you all sorts of tax accounting rules and tidbits. I have a math-capable mind. Paperwork overwhelms me. It used to be not the doing of the tax returns, but the compiling of the data and proof to enter into them, that'd bog me down the most. And yet rules change each year. I'd spend nights and days and still feel overwhelmed, finally admitting I needed help, I'm not a professional. But my professional help ended up being more interested in my child than me, ICK ICK ICK so obviously I nixed all contact there. The IRS decided to calculate my taxes for me, and that I owed an additional over $9,000 for 2004. It was a bit freaky to think about. I'd see news items of high-profile people going to jail, and know that homes and vehicles can be confiscated. Ahh, but I'm okay. I had 30 days to respond and they can close the case, no fuss (I think) even if I miscalculated the 30 days thinking I had until December 24th which means postmarked by the 26th, when it was a 23rd date. Even with a sizeable amount of money withdrawn from my retirement fund that year, I was due a nice refund from my Federal taxes. Yep, the year of the 3-day in court trial (later going to appeals even, I still owe many thousands I'll repay when M's out of her private school). The year my car caught fire. The year my air conditioner unit needed replacing. Oh, and I was behind on my mortgage. Withdrawing from a retirement account takes consideration and is not a first choice option. Somehow, even though I planned to do my 2004 tax return last night after M had left, I actually DID. Just it was the 1040A. Ugh. I can't add property taxes and mortgage interest rate on that form, that I can see, and I only had an estimate for those, anyway. Getting too tired. All I really needed to do was explain how I was due a refund and hence felt I was not required to file (showing I had no criminal intent and no fraudulent intent). I did write that, plus sent the draft 1040A with childcare expenditures I need to locate details on, and that I'm head of household and yadda yadda. (One has either 2 or 3 years from when one is scheduled to file by, to file and still claim a refund, so 2004 would have been by April 15th, 2005, but I filed an extension, so by April 15th 2006 or 2007. So, ultimately, I'll get a refund from this, too.) To the post office, verified postage, mailed.
I mostly completed this, enough to send to them, so communicating to them IS completed for now. Wow, good. Unfinished projects are all over our home, even the wreaths I meant to make for my father, and the Lucie mobile that's not coming out quite perfectly for M's taste. And 2005 taxes but they're not bugging me about them, yet.
Last night, with M gone with her dad's long-term girlfriend (Sh) and their daughter (Si), I was up late. Typically, the first night M's away for a stretch of time, it's harder for me to get to sleep until I'm TIRED. Well, I was tired anyway. Yet we've been staying up late. Feeling fairly refreshed when Daisy and I woke up this a.m., I figured I'd stayed zonked out too long, how late would I be to work? Hmm, not terribly! I'd finally SLEPT. Even if I'm feeling tired and ready for a nap NOW :)