Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Callie Died

Subject is: Callie Died

AND a horse died, falling almost on her,

She saw it die?  how horrible.  What happened?

M goes to the barn every day after school as her daycare.  Helps out, rides as often as she's allowed to (my mother pays for 1 lesson a week, but M trains, etc., and gets to ride often).   She "sets feed" and feeds, including medicines, etc.; she knows these horses.   One mare (female horse), Callie, was 28 years old.   She'd been having allergy problems and trouble breathing -- pollen counts are tremendously high lately and I think that didn't help her.   She hadn't been ridden in a long while, either.   Medicines increased to daily from 3x/week, etc.   M, plus 3 other girls her age or younger, were talking w/ Callie in the field.   Callie had cantered to try to join the other horses being let out into the fields (from their stalls and being fed, after riding lessons).   She never canters, usually trots.  The others were trotting but she couldn't keep up.   The girls were calming Callie down, it's okay, take your time, etc.  At least, in their minds.   I reminded M that this meant Callie wasn't alone, she felt cared for.  

Her eyes did something so weird M couldn't describe it.   Her breathing was bad.   Callie stumbled, caught herself.  How M was more detailed but I'm not recalling the details them clearly.   Somehow, Callie stumbled again and her legs were crossed but she stayed upright.   Her eyes rolled back into her head, and she collapsed to her left, where M was (the three other girls to Callie's right).   They called for assistance, lots of talk about where was what, got a thermometer, etc.   I'm not clear if Callie died immediately or took a few moments, tho I suspect it was quick but not completely immediately.    The girls surmise it was a heart attack.  I don't know what it was.  Sounds plausible to being a heart attack.

I tried to let M know that at least Callie was in a place where she was well cared for, even if she couldn't be ridden, etc., that she's in peace now, no breathing problems, God is watching over her, she didn't die alone, etc.....   UGH.   I'm trying not to cry thinking about it myself.

Oh no, Robin! Poor M! She must have felt awful! It's one thing to find a horse dead, but to see it die, ugh! I'm sorry!


Yeah, I know.......   It IS part of life, it IS part of learning and maturing.  It still SUCKS. - me

It really does. She'll always remember it, but I think since she was in a comfortable environment with people who care for her, it won't be a traumatic event for her, just a memorable and sort of scary one. Eventually the scary part will fade because it sounds like it was handled well. I'm still sorry she had to go through it.

Yes.  But you're right -- it was w/ caring people, who cared about the horse AND the girls.   I never even mentioned autopsy to her --
I hate to think what that involves myself and I'm not positive they'll run one.   There is a horse disease going around, but Callie's symptons were NOT like those at all.

M wasn't going to ride today. She goes w/ C. HE is working. His g/f, Sh is picking up M, along w/ Si. Si has gymnastics so Sh has M go up to the barn to wait for them. What if I didn't have daycare arrangements?  Whatever, cuz I do. (Tho last year, it was actual daycare, and I SHOULD have arranged for paying only for days she'd go with me, but, shrug, that was too tricky for me to bother with.)   But, M COULD ride (train) Corey every Tuesday and Thursday. It's just 3:30-4pm. If Sh says, NO, but Sh doesn't arrive until say 3:45/4pm, then why NOT let M ride /train? I don't get it, but, hey, C has the right to get M at 3:30. (I agreed that right after school / during carpool which is 3:15-3:30 is fine, but CO says "after school at 3:30" for Tuesdays, and "after school" (so guess 3:15) on the Fridays, interestingly enough.   Anyway, so whatever he says (or his designee, which is Sh who he sends).

But, today, M was also still feeling in pain. A decorative horse fell on M last night -- she was walking by a bookcase, I think holding Tinker, maybe another cat, and knocked the bookcase. Bam, ouch. Her toe bled but didn't seem swollen.

M also has grown a lot taller, at least 3 inches taller this past year, once growing 1 inch in 1 week! I'd made dinner, yes, MADE dinner:) (Trader Joe's cod sticks yum, the best fishsticks ever, boiled down/spiced squash, and corn on the cob yum, plus milk for M.) Anyway, always growing, had snack before dinner even, yet still hungry, M looked into the frig, "there's nothing to eat." Which is ridiculous as at the moment; we're overstocked! BAM, hit her head on the freezer door above, somehow.

M hit her head on the top of the open doorframe of the truck just the other day. I couldn't think why, until I realized she's grown and just isn't fully used to her new height/spatially, yet.
Anyway, poor kid last night was also allergy-driven, as was I, and tired, as was I. AND, Callie had died, practically ON her.  
At first, I was like, okay, I hear you, are you okay, do you need ice or anything, stop whining, calm down. Stop whining, sigh. I have so little patience for whining.  But, I had to stop a moment. This was legitimate last night. "You've had a bad day...." which is some famous song right now. "You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost."  Or, as she kept complaining, "I don't like Mondays,;I don't like Mondays...." I thought of the song, "I don't like Mondays, I'm going to shoooooot the whole day down...." M wanted me to stay in her bed with her. We talked even more about Callie, after Sponge Bob band-aided her bleeding toe. I just hugged her while she cried.

I know she worked on the Africa project today (brought in her computer research even). I dropped off hard shoes in case for tonight -- being taught "Thunder" and,
auditions for the performance group that got canceled last Saturday, Maureen says she'll hold private ones, "maybe tonight." GROAN. Of all nights..... I told Maureen that M was sick and likely couldn't show. DAG. But, just in case C egads lets her... (yeah right... but).   Told M it'd be for Columbia b/c no more Gburg and etc. Dropped off riding pants (for tomorrow, OR if allowed to stay long enough today, but M says she doubts it. Didn't get to reask about her toe, either.)  

AND, dropped off $7. for her field trip tomorrow. Yes, she goes w/ C tonight. Yes, C was asked to chaperone. He had to work, but Sh was to go. Except, the time of the trip had to be changed, and now Sh can't go. Didn't wish to butt in, but told M that if they can't find someone, to let me know. She smiled, "But, Mom, we wanted someone with a large van, who can hold 5 people." Oh, right. "We originally asked Dad b/c of his Caravan...." Well, at least she felt she could ask him, and also knew I'd help out if I could.  C owns his own business, he couldn't have taken off work w/ that amount of advance notice? Or, Sh can't go now b/c she has to pickup Si from Si's school. Um, C can't do that (pick up Si), just once, for Si and for M's sake? Apparently not, maybe he can't get off tomorrow. Anyway, so I asked M who was going to watch Si while Sh chaperoned, not that it was my business, but M and I were discussing logistics and I was thinking, same person could p/up Si from school, Sh could still bond w/ M and chaperone.   Amazingly, Sh planned to BRING Si along on M's school fieldtrip, of 10 students. The girl's adorable, but the school (and I) believe that that's not the time/place for sibling tagalongs. Whatever.

C (and Sh) tend to refuse to pay for M, even on those couple times C (or Sh) has chaperoned.  (And, yes, C brought along Sh AND Si on a trip, and the teacher was not happy about that after.)   M will even be waking up THERE tomorrow, they SHOULD pay. M and I remembered to send the permission slip I'd signed. She forgot to ask me for money, but I'm concerned, she'd maybe feel she couldn't ask C for it. It's $5. (I sent $7. in case, they weren't well organized about this one). I almost called the other chaperone, to relay that I'd pay him back if M didn't show up with $5.   But, the teacher may ask the students in advance of meeting w/ the chaperone, and M would feel stuck, maybe kicked out and she really wants to go on this one (C&O Canal Boat Rides, right up my "alley" actually, I'd love it, too).  I told M I'd stick money into her cell phone case (told her "the PINK case, with your "inhaler" in it) as cell phone abuser girl was nearby and would probably tattle. M was real pleased, "Oh, yeah!" She'd forgotten, harder to plan money today for tomorrow after such a night last night. Shaking my head to think C won't just pay it, but he likely won't.

Anyway, was a rough night for M yesterday. At least she got a good ride in first, before the Callie bit :(   
and in the afternoon, had gone to Adventure Playground. (Their other event was canceled -- an inspiring wheelchair golfer who does golf tricks needed dry grass. It's been pouring.)

Our weekend was good, though I wish Maureen had gone ahead w/ auditions Saturday -- M was pumped for them, AND we nixed going to NYC/Ellis Island w/ Grandma b/c of them. AND both of us allergy-ridden, tho I more sick, slept half of Friday, and she brought me breakfast:) M is a good kid. We did have time together those 3 days, and w/ Grandma on Sunday, and etc., plus I let M have a playdate Sat. C often does NOT.  M's playdate was originally a sleepover, too, but that got changed.   M, a brother and a sister, and the host girl, playdate. They had fun:) And this boy, well, he's friends w/ them all. As is another boy. It's almost like they are brothers for M, even share in e-mails.  I'm glad she has those experiences which I think can only aid her in life ultimately.

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