I'm not actually hungry.......

Gorgeous Friday, really.  Warm outside, not hot, breezy, and blue skies all the more clear this week.

 

My dad's getting better and better.  I'm playing phone tag with Dad's doctor, who has relayed that Dad will move into physical rehabilitation within a day or 2.  It's a relief that I don't need to fight for this.  (I did when Dad had his last mini-stroke.)  A neighbor of his, a family Doug and I grew up with and played with, this woman a friend of my mother's, will visit Dad today.  I worry that they're not taking care of everything I want looked at for Dad.  His feet look practically normal, size-wise, and have since Tuesday, really, but the skin is not good.  For one thing.  Diabetes, prostate cancer, can they do a colonoscopy or whatever just in case, as he's had colon cancer in the past?, etc.  I've heard that those with dementia have their brains look different, so will the CAT scan show that?  I'm the one who puts on (and changes) his socks after lotion, and sometimes even with a catheter, as he really is not set up where he can move and get to the restroom, his sheets need changing yet they sometimes don't get changed quickly.  But, as my mother says, for the most part, he's in good hands.  Yes, I like this hospital a fair bit.  We've been to a few with him.  They charge for parking (during the day), but otherwise, they seem real good.  His contractor is a decent enough sort, too.

 

I'm trying not to be overwhelmed.  I DO, as some have pointed out, have my plate full and it's not all good things to eat, which, of course, would be preferable:)  (As does N.  I wish for him a light spirit this weekend, that Monday and Tuesday (when his friend is interned at Arlington National Cemetary) will still come, try not to think of them, and instead enjoy his weekend away with family.)

 

I try to balance the heavier stuff with little things each day.  Today, the Guarana soda and Brazilian desert tasted um good in the sunshine as I walked past the aroma of fried pig flesh (at the Amish market).  I'll visit Dad later, and his house, sure, and yet also take Daisy on a hike (hopefully).  Sunday is M's next feis, preparations for THAT.  She'll pick up her dresses and "stuff" from my mom's later today.  It'll be good to see M (on Sunday for me).  I'm feeling really good about this feis for her, and am excited for it myself!  The desk place wanted to deliver it tomorrow, um, ack, no.  I haven't gotten that far yet ha.  Thinking of options of the various projects at my father's, and ideas for housing him until his place is prepared (assuming he returns), having him go through listswith me of things he wants done, and, they'll get there.  Most I knew of, anyway.

 

I aimed for an hour of "normalcy" last night, knowing life would only let me make 1 hour of the mini-ceili (dance) last night, but by golly, I was going.  My girlfriend ended up not able to go, but that's okay.  She and I talked while I drove, and drove.  I don't even know how much stress relief I'd get from the dancing, or how much would really come from seeing friends/ socializing for I felt down.  I never did find the street.  I realized later, I was near Doug's but he'd have been asleep (and I'd have called first, anyway).  One more drive by Dad's house, then the time NOT spent dancing, meant Daisy and I got a good, long walk in last night. And more laundry, or, I should say, turning on the dryer a couple more times as it just isn't working fully since the dryer ducts were cleaned out. 

 

Two projects I'm putting off.  I can't do it all.  I AM glad Dad's improved, even sounds better on the phone but also looks better.  I have hair scissors to trim his beard tonight, too, as it's interferring with his bronchial mist treatments.  I don't deal as well with a chronic-crisis bit as I do with a crisis-crisis bit.  The chronic stuff gets overwhelming.  It's more difficult to deal with emotionally, and in terms of "what to do" stuff.  I have to break it down into pieces, as much so I can say, okay, I'll do this now, and that then, as to make it manageable. 

 

Tuesday, on our second morning walk, a man slowed down in his truck and pulled along side of us.  "Did you notice where we missed anything?"  "Excuse me?"  I had heard him, but was taken off guard, and was trying to place who he was, even though he did look mildly familiar only.  He repeated the same thing.  Oh.  He was the senior guy who'd power-washed all the siding and walls for our condo building Monday that had Daisy going nuts.  "Oh, no.  They look great."  He drove away, seemingly pleased with his work.  I hadn't even noticed.  I knew they were dripping; I knew that they'd picked up every rug and item so our personal belongings would not be ruined.  I never even took time to look at the walls.  I did after this man asked me.  And, you know what?  They DO look great, really nice.

 

Life still goes by -- take a moment to stop and notice it, too.  Otherwise, it's just too much.  No more helpings for me right now, please:)  

 

p.s. -- I really appreciate all the prayers and e-mails and support.  Thank you.