Friday, April 6, 2007

in 3 months (but not yet)

In 3 months, we won't be contemplating snow showers at night or during the day.  Not that I'd anticipated contemplating them NOW, Easter egg roll weekend, either.  It'd been in the 80's even lately, but so be it.   COLD, in April, when January had been warm.  I can understand rain today; it's Good Friday, the physical world crying for the pain of Christ's suffering on our behalf.   But, snow?

In 3 months, it'll be so warm, we may be wishing for some cool night air.   Christ will still have died and risen, will we remember that joy, His pain, our blessings of forgiveness?

In 3 months, will be the week of Independence Day, and fireworks fireworks fireworks.  It's M's favorite holiday.  She wants to ride that train:)

In 3 months, will be the week my daughter becomes an official teenager, 13 years old.   The young woman she's growing into.  

M is young enough to be disappointed that the weather kept us from viewing cherry blossoms in person this week (busy earlier in the week and we go annually), heck, I'm disappointed, too.  Young enough to get excited to decorate Easter eggs, expected to get a basket of her own and excited for it (I did a blue theme this year inside a tinkerbell reusable fabric basket).  M's young enough, she wanted Grandma (my mom), and I, to play hide and find the plastic eggs from M's basket there, repeatedly.   Young enough to love the idea of using egg dye to dye MORE items, from bubble socks and two shirts, to, um, Pink Tink and Pretty Boy Blue-eyes aka Captain.   (Tinkerbell still has pink on the top of her back, placed so it wouldn't be licked even if I believe it's harmless, while Captain's blue has worn off.) 

M's young enouhg to prefer playing and racing around with Daisy and get her a pink dress with little white daisies with yellow centers (I was quite happy to return that dress today, phew, too small for our beagle girl who does NOT need an Easter dress).  

Old enough to get upset with ME,  when she forgot to connect that Chance spooks, and the day we'd planned for me to bring Daisy and watch M's lesson would include her riding Chance.   Old enough to be happy to test-ride still too lame Fancy, and ride hmm, Chance?? the next day (sans me).  Young enough to not feel yet that she could ask Sh or C if shecould still do her lesson while with them, though I sent riding pants and relayed the dates/times on, just in case (one definitely being missed).

M is young enough to have taken out her birthday baby bear and brushed his hair and changed his nightclothes the other night.   She still enjoys American Girl items, not so much the dolls as in previous years, but the newest Molly we enjoyed, and M asked me to renew her magazine subscription (likely the last time, I know).

Old enough to not even think of visiting the Easter bunny (I got an anticipated "look" for asking lol), or ride "the" bunny train where Bob and sometimes my mother, sometimes even M/I help out, BTDT years ago, annually.   Old enough to suggest and walk to and from a local grocers by herself midday, even paying for the distilled white vinegar as the bottle we had, had actually evaporated (calling me to help her decide which bottle to get).  Making me a cup of tea later on, just because she thought I'd like one.

Old enough to spend time on her hair, using my hairclip, getting it just right with blow drying and hairspray, the "right" earrings.  She looked real nice there at the high school's musical with her friend, Md, and later in the backseat they talked about boys as we drove Md home.   Maybe if I spent more time than "twist and clip," my hair might look as nice.  Old enough where Grandma decided maybe taking M to get an outfit would be an Easter idea, knowing M would have her own opinions, and had grown to need new things.  Somehow I'm still thinking, wow, M fits junior clothes now (as do I, just larger ones).   Old enough to check out acne products at the cosmetics counter, and young enouhg to not really need them, blessedly (that night, however, *I* really needed them, lol).   Old enough to know she WANTED another shower before heading to her dads for a few days (primarily to shave her underarms, as she doesn't have a razor there).

Old enough to hold her own, adapt to last minute changes (no music, then music on but wrong music, or cd skipping, etc.), and perform beautifully and well, becoming more poised, smiling, having fun with it.  AND look out for Si when they had gigs together this week.  The 8 years difference works nicely (M says "she's young and good" when I ask her if she's borhtered that now Si is in many gigs, too, and Si IS good at dancing and performing, and sweet).   M's young enough I said a silent thank you to the woman in the one audience who came and  thanked M first, commenting on M's dancing, then to Si, the woman then asking if she could get a photo of them both.  

I get comments that M is a beautiful dancer, and Ma says M is really a good performer ("is she all prizewinner now?" asks Ma), while those same people also say how rare a talent Si has.  It's all true.  Even M has said, watching two other girls in a store someplace, that she's glad she's not that close in age to Si; there is enough focus on her (from C and Sh), anyway, and that's all true, too.   Nothing against Si, either, who is a delightful girl I was happy to invite to dance w/ M at my groups ceili even, and it's just evolved more.   M has fun with her gigs, loves it, and Si is eating them up, too.  I'm just thankful for those 8 years difference.  

In 3 months, M will have one more feis behind her, possibly 2.  (If C/Sh have her go to a local one with Si, possibly even 3.)  M finally wears her new hardshoes to makeup class this week.  She sat on them before class to help bend them/break them in.  I'd told M that I DID want her wearing them for her upcoming late May feis.  "Mom, I got all my backclicks, did you hear me?!"  And, she sounded louder on her hornpipe, goes up more nicely on her toes. 

M's old enough to pick up her homework herself, and has finished all of it, essay, Spanish (she wasn't sure she had but she did), and all but three problems in algebra/math "it's easy, really easy, Mom" including graphing (yeah!).    Not much more of the "To Kill a Mockingbird" book, due a few days later.  I plan to buy myself the Cliff Notes or similar, so I can comprehend this book I struggle to read with her, little patience for its style I suppose no matter how classic and good, and she likes my idea of renting the movie.

And, today, Good Friday.   Many are sick (I think M and I are "just" fighting allergies, as the blech symptons were mild Wednesday with the rain).  We've celebrated our Easter over the past week, including visiting Dad with decorated Easter cookies (Pillsbury "funfetti" cake mix has a great tasting cookie recipe on the side, btw), after my mom had requested I bring those to her Easter dinner with us.   Si e-mails me (twice this week, oddly, it's fine just they haven't allowed M to e-mail with me since last summer, cutting her off mid-email even, insistently).  So, I e-mail M, twice, and will e-mail Si a happy easter greeting, also, both girls.   I may need to grocery shop for Dad on Saturday but still visit Sunday.   All the Easter finery.   I pick up three cans of Passover macaroons for M and I, as I prefer those over most Easter candies.   (I don't like milk chocolate.)   Maybe macaroons shouldbe offered like rugalah, both tasty and tempting in many flavors but rugalah often comes packaged with acombination of flavors.  It's notabout bunnies and pastel colors, it's about our savior dying for our human sins to be absolved.   That's something we (should) focus on how, but is always, even if I'll miss M this Sunday, Easter.   And Monday, remembering those years I'd take her to the White House Easter egg roll, us on t.v. even one soggy Easter Monday year.

I digress, of course.

Boss has been here a year now this week.   I think he and I get along real well.   I've been happy enough, sometimes real happy with him, but I'm hearing more than rumblings lately.   More going on with yet another employee today (one forced out a week or so ago, also).   He's been on the case of another coworker whom I work with often.   I'm learning some of the latest office politics, and trying to be aware.  

I've exchanged a few e-mails lately with a long-term online friend of mine I'd lost some touch with, both of us single moms, her kids much younger.  Her daughter is finishing kindergarten and asked that she walk to school herself next year, that they grow up so fast.  I told her not to worry, that they'l still want our hugs:)   M sometimes will just come to me, "I want a hug."  Or, I'll try to catch her and give her one.   Yes, Thursday, our best day all spring break, really, even if the others were great, just most had plans included.  Yesterday was hanging out just the two of us no set plans day, yet, as M went from starting one project to starting another, lol, she actually got a few things done, too, having a happy day. 

In 3 months, heck, in 2 months, my Goddaughter/niece and her cousin, my other "niece," will have actually graduated high school.  My cousin Ian will get married July 7, in British Columbia so we won't go (but M is thrilled to offer to dance at the August reception in the greater Seattle area). 

In 3 months, M will be a "rising" 8th-grader, taking a break from school yet preparing for her final year there, with a final report card and standardized test scores received, that she'll use for magnet school applications in the fall (debating if she wants to go magnet or not, so I'm learning deadlines and qualifications for her, in case).

In 3 months, I may not remember how I wonder how one gets 3 days in the tomb from Friday to Sunday, even if I'm not really bothered by that.

M'll be 13 soon enough:)   Some more warmth now, however, does not need to wait 3 months.  I read the journal of a trying to rehabilitate drug addict and wish her God's warmth and healing and hope as well.  I hear the world will be bright again by Easter:)   

I wrote to dearest M:  "In 3 months, we won't be looking at snow in the forecast.  In 3 months, you'll be in riding camp, and then fireworks at night.  In 3 months, you'll be the teenager you're growing to be!  I'm proud of you.  :)  "

 

4 comments:

  1. I hear ya I need the warth too, we all do, have a great weekend, and enjoy this time with her while she is still young enough..  it won't last much longer, take care, MISSY

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  2. seraphoflove9001April 7, 2007 at 5:20 AM

    aaww...Have a great Easter weekend!
    Lisa

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  3. I really like some of those 'young enoughs' about M.  I don't like children that are childish, but I very much appreciate childlike.  I don't care for 8 yr olds telling me Santa is bogus.  It is sad.  Hope she enjoys Easter in a very childlike way. ~ Mary

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  4. Ahh... me why does this entry somehow bring me back to my most recent entry? Yes indeed how quickly they grow, mature, stand at the crossroads and select their own paths. As long as you and M come together she will at time be "young enough" for hugs, egg (and critter) dying, chasing about with family pets, and all the routines of life that bond you two together.

    Amazing how our children can seem so mature and wisened one moment and then so child-like and vulnerable at another.

    Gotta ask for more details on White House Easter Egg Hunts. Are we talking like going through the metal detectors, CIA patting the parents down, and armed guard on the roof kinda stuff?

    Aint it wunderful to have a daughter who dances. Middle daughter has been dancing since she was 4 and it still amazes me how effortlessly she can glide across a dance floor, or mimic the motions of a gazzel or lioness.

    O know what you mean about the "blech symptoms of allergies." Despite the snow and cold I've been suffering watery eyes and tuffed ub dose. UCKY

    wishing you sunshine
    Michael
    http://journals.aol.com/madmanadhd/ConfessionsofaMadmanInsightsinto/entries/2007/04/09/easter-in-the-big-house/1506

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