Soft evening. That's how I'd define tonight. The air outside, still moist and fresh from light rain, yet no longer raining. The temperature warm for January, not warm per se, yet definitely not cold.
No brisk slap in the face dry cool air of winter. I even LIKE that feel when it's not windy. Yet, this felt, well, nice. Walking Daisy in the early evening dark. I'd shut our windows again by then. Heck, it's 52 F degrees out NOW after 11 pm. I don't think it was much warmer earlier, though. So, soft evening. Napped instead of catching any of the Ravens/Colts game (which, I admit, actually spiked my interest, having remembered when they were BALTIMORE's Colts).
I'm sure BJ watched the other game. I'm hopeful M has her friend, Md visiting there with her tonight at C's home, M's father's. He doesn't usually have her have anyone visit, or let her go play/spend time with, someone she's known from outside of him and his circle of neighbors and friends. For Md's last birthday party, a sleepover, M didn't even get to go but was never told that, told "maybe" all along, not even told that day, just the time ticked by, not even a call to Md's home to say.
But this time, maybe, I am hopeful for her, it seemed maybe more likely. I'd had M call C on Thursday. Barn Director asked M again if C was coming to help with trail clearing, and M hadn't mentioned it to him when she last saw him. Barn Director is pleased M was the first and originally the only one to volunteer to help clear the trails of debris and growth in the park bordering the barn. B. Dir.'s planned for others to join now, too. M's scheduled to be with me on Monday,
C for the rest of the weekend. When M called C, he said he was working Monday. Not a surprise, really. I'm not sure he ever takes off for holidays unless they are "big" ones, such as Christmas or New Year's type holidays. He said he'd try to get off and I'm not clear if he meant that, or figured he'd say that, knowing she's scheduled to be with me.
We'll see. I have no problem with him coming out some and me being there, too, or just her and him, either way. To have M be with me the night of "the" concert she won tickets for, I asked for a switch of nights later this month. He then, after saying he's working Monday day, anyway, said he'd like the switch to be for Monday day and night.
Ah, huh? Beautiful child had no cavities! at the dentist, taller than anyone had seen her she's grown so fast lately, shiny hair, clean teeth. I'd finally had to schedule this during school time to get it in, calculating when she'd miss the least ("only" reallymusic which she's disliking this year). I talked w/ M about these switch ideas. She wants to be with me on Monday. She's had ideas and plans. And does NOT NOT NOT want to miss trail clearing, would like me there, too, and has other things
other things at home. There was my answer. Not me flipping out about how I'd like to switch a night for a night, not this when he's working, anyway (the holidays we alternate are daytime, not overnights). I suggested instead, maybe he could get a couple hours off, spend those with M in the am clearing trails, then she with me for our plans (ice skating is one big one with friends from school), and he pick her back up after her Monday riding lesson for the night.
I figure this could be a win-win for him and his work schedule, and primarily for HER. Logical. Even if one of his big goals is to have her away from me for extended, continuous time. He's said that more than once in the past. But, this would be better. I do hope he can see that. And, shrug, if he nixes the night, but wants time in the a.m., if it's trail clearing as that's her desire, then fine, anyway. This could be a lot worse.
M was anxious Thursday about whether or not she'd be taken to her added dance rehearsal Friday night. All last year, he so adamantly refused to get her to rehearsals or classes other than some of the final ones. I'm still not clear if Sh has pushed for this more, due to Si wanting to stepdance, also, or if he was told he'd better be careful as she's about the age of being able to decide for herself now if she even goes with him for visitation.
But, this year, it's been a lot more as if almost "normal" in terms of almost supporting her dancing. M was anxious about mentioning the Friday rehearsal when she called him Thursday, had been all week really per what she's said to me and asked me, having to tell her repeatedly that even reminder e-mails had gone out including to C and to Sh. In M asking about Md, M says C said Friday night won't work due to M's rehearsal. She was so happy, relieved. She shouldn't have to have this stress.
Though I rambled, I'm mostly hopeful that tonight she's with her friend, showing off her room there, and the six cats there, and yes, wee Si trying to play with them, too, both good girls (M and Md), so they would some and gently. If not, then I suppose we'll be real sure for the ice skating on Monday with M's classmates (whichwould include Md).
Sometimes, I'm quite content to stay within my world here. Maybe it's in part because I deal with people most of the other times. I need my downtime, too. Two guys had asked me out for the weekend, also, confirming things later. I'm completely happy to not see either, lol. Even if both are great conversationalists and I would have fun. Even if both of them were re-contacted for more business / friend reasons, lol. Women will suggest getting together again, but nicely there's no romantic push.
A third guy I'd had recontacted for some legal advice, he was happy to provide. Then told me a few times how he'd gotten this image in his head of "damsel in distress" me in an orange jumpsuit behind bars, and how incredibly hot that was, and would I like to go to dinner, and how hot that was.... ICK ICK ICK.
Wow, the radio alarm clock just went off. that's a surprise. I never even turned on the radio or television all day. Glad I'm awake:)
Anyway, nicely, I have some friends who are FRIENDS, too, women and men.
I did talk with a few people today while walking Daisy however many times she wanted to go out:) That's okay, it can be fun for both of us. We even talked a bit with dalmation Lucy again, without her owner I'm not sure I've ever met, her owner back home by now, her on her patio, protecting it yet wagging her tail and wanting to re-say hi to Daisy. And a woman I don't recall, who'd been neighbors with one of my former really good friends we'd just lost touch with. This neighbor and I seem to have a fai
r bit in common, so perhaps I will run into her again. Or, not. Someone, after a full week, these interactions, the guy with the 9 month old BIG puppy who's not 100% trained (yikes), the woman who thanked me for being so respectful. (For what? Oh, picking up. Well, yeah.). Some people I see often, some not. But, some days, these are enough social interactions for me. Replenish. Even took a nap earlier:) Warm, soft Billy and Liberty near/on me, Daisy nearby.
Last night was LOUD! I'd gotten there late, wanting to spend time walking Daisy and feeding the crits first. They are my priority, after my main one of M, of course. And I fit in there somewhere, lol. Seems the first band was the most appealing to those who share more in my tastes. Ah, well. It was practically PACKED! This was a great crowd! One band of the three I heard I liked the best, and those youth and the parents (parents don't always come) were SO polite and helpful. I got to talk some
some with them. That's part of it. Have guests feel welcome, and welcomed, for they are. Let them know that they are welcome BACK, too. (Well, except one band, the roughest-musically screaming "exorcism" I called it, ended up using the f word more than once, which is so not acceptable and not in the guidelines, so they are welcome back in the church as human beings or audience members, but NOT to play. If they'd kept their language fine, even their screaming lyrics wouldn't have gotten them nixed
, even if the style appealled only to the smaller parts of the crowd, it wasn't the style, but the words and one of the actions, that was not acceptable.)
So this band who had such polite members, and sample cd's I should have picked up, I usually do buy one to be supportive, seems they attend the Catholic parish closest to me. I've been there several times, and would definitely attend there if I was Catholic, I really like that church. The one father seemed apologetic, that he'd trained his sonin classical music, he doesn't know how this progressed. The boy got a guitar and (made sound of raging electrical strings lol). This parent also filmed the
the band:) They figured it's in a church, they'd okay the band playing here, it'd be okay. That's not always a good assumption for all places of worship, but our intent is to have it be a good, safe place for youth to be, any youth. No alcohol, no drugs, heck, most wanted water to drink, not the sodas. (Then again, it's the only "diet" drink last night, finally got Youth Pastor to realize that's needed, too.) All I met were nice kids, even polite. Most seemd to have fun, a few tried moshing to the
to the one band but we can't allow that, it could cause holes in the walls. They stopped, happily shaking their heads along to the beat instead. One girl looked a bit like the Corpse Bride, except with long blonde hair dyed St. Patrick's Day green. A larger variety of races there, a few more parents along, then normal. One girl I feel will really come back, a friend of a "regular," who clicked real well with another regular. The youth intern, who went to M's current school, asked me at one point,
"Admit it, you hate this type of music, don't you?" Actually, I don't. Okay, I hate the screaming stuff. (I don't like whiny high pitch opera, either, admittedly.) Some of the high school bands are not, um, fully skilled and experienced enough yet for a great full set. But the last band had some stuff I could maybe like. I think I'd have liked the first band. Sometimes, I've listened to the cd's I've bought, or been given. More than once:) Md's older brother didn't come. Eh, he was invited.
That one band, sigh, a mistake, but otherwise, very successful. Even if for many of them, it'll be a "safe" but fun place to go to. Only so many places for high schoolers to get out to. Maybe, maybe all of taht is part of why today, I'm fine chilling out, doing housework and verifying which new requirements in the Girl Scout IPP book M's completed, mostly by happenstance. :)
I will wish to clarify my last post some, but I believe I'll update that one specifically when I can get back into it. That's what I get for rambling writing, I suppose:) A couple points -- I've never known anyone, Catholic or Christian non-Catholic, or non-Christian for that matter, get negative or hateful over differences in beliefs about communion. A theological discussion I'd like to persue, but it didn't fit in with this post that otherwise had to do with politicsmixed with religion, and how hatef
hateful that can be. I also didn't explain evangelism as I should have, adding only "or am I stereotyping?" to beg the question in a way. I know the idea of "in your face" as being the only form of evangelism is stereotyping, and that even what I was involved with last night is one form of evangelizing, perhaps more accurately called outreach, but still. Thirdly, I believe what I really was trying to reconcile was the differences in beliefs different Christians have towards social responsibility.
I don't understand the idea of being Christian and not helping in the ways I consider helping (if able to in ways one can), yet, apparently some believe differently, that they are called in a different fashion. That's what I'm trying to comprehend. Ultimately, the hateful divisions that can occur, the political assumptions that are made and all the blech, that's what I don't like and feel is the most wrong, and gives the worst images of what a Christian is. And I got a bit sick of yet another e-mail
from a well-meaning otherwise devoted Christian, putting down an entire group of people with reasons that seem misinformed even. THAT's more what I was TRYING to say:)
So, last night was a "harder" edged night, with both our youth interns really loving the last band. Hey, btw, it's not the genre of music that makes or defines a Christian, but the heart and soul (and lyrics) in the song/music. Tonight, blessedly, a softer evening.
No news yet on the radio about the game (Ravens / Colts), or the other one with St. Louis and someone.