Tidbits from an e-mail to a girlfriend of mine:
Well, at 8:30 tonight, N had been online match.com "within 1 hour," and had not written me. So, I wrote him, that I'd be away all weekend and for [name of band for concert next week], yeah or nah. Wish you well -- [name he calls me]. So, pfftt. A week and a half ago, after he'd been e-mailing me, I sent him an e-card invitation to a one-time event, all positive and fun. He has a lot of work conflicts and family obligations -- said he thought he had a conflict and would get back to me next week. This is the Friday of the next week. I know he's gone through a lot emotionally, and I may not even be "the one," fine. Let him be restless and work things out and do what he needs to. I'm understanding of that. I won't be sitting at home waiting for him while he does that, but fine, do it, be well, I do care about him. And, do RSVP.
To "the" fair tonight, after a day at my mother's (mark that off the to-do list), then after visiting my father again (hopefully his physical therapist, former neighbor and friend of ours, is there for M to say hello to), a big dance party tomorrow as in, the two performing dance troupes, as in, M's dance party, thrown by the teacher. Except we got forewarned that C is crashing it and bringing S, and M is ticked as she's not with them this weekend, and it's not for S; M also had been disappointed that they wouldn't take her / let her participate and perform at the Open House event). With this notice, though, it'll work out and M will act appropriately. Then a feis (Irish step dance competition) on Sunday in Delaware.
Then, M leaves again:( (But "only " 1 week this time even if I know I'll miss her). We talked of the schedule, and that she isn't scheduled (i.e., won't have to go) with him for 3 weeks in a row again until she's 17 years old, that summer. "YEAH," was her response sigh. She was excited to hear her own music again, be with friends her age again, have me let her make some decisions. C even spent more time with all of them this year, taking off work and on vacation. M loves C, and M does love innocent S and is gentle and good with S. It's just that 3 weeks is too long, combined with not being home and with me it seems. Two or three days this week, she told me that she just wanted to stay HOME. She has wanted to work more on her room, also. (As Beth told me after Dad's hospital trip, "Apparently you're where you're supposed to be.)
Hopefully, C won't be a jerk. He and Sh have been acting as if they are fighting with me, as if in some huge fight, rather cool. Interesting, really. I'm NOT acting like that, as to me, there's no basis for any fighting. Even if we disagreed, it's all semantics (except this isn't, it's really clear). Weird. (He wishes to rewrite part of our Court Order, while trying to convince me that it's just that we interpret a portion differently. Yet, there's no other way to intrepret that part even, we've had our lawyers look it over 4 years ago, we've followed it for the past 3 summers, it's a non-issue, IMHO, yet he's looking into us going to mediation for it. Huh? I do not get the why of it. I really truly many sleepless nights and tears, do not. I give away that worry and am not engaging back, no reason.)
The feis I hope is fantastic. M and L are both in all of thee same dances. Again. Same age, same level (all Prizewinner), same dances in the same competitions, very similarly matched. Also the soft shoes dances are practically at the same time, and the hard shoes scheduled at the same time (different stages), yet a lot of good and positive feedback that this feis is great about those things, PHEW.
M and L are also good friends. We both truly do wish L well, even as she's been chosen to perhaps do solos at the upcoming Oireachtas. While we're wanting well for M, also. M and I have talked about this a few times. M does a "She is very good," impressive reel, and yet somehow lately wobbles on her left ankle for treble jig while on standing toe-stands. M does a slightly better slip jig than L (better turnout but sometimes her knees then look too turned out, scoring just one above L), and always gets her front clicks but not always her back ones and gets her shicots (shi - cots) just not while in her dances. L may do better at both hardshoe dances, at least right now. M did get a 11st in her treble jig last feis, Nation's Capital Feis, YEAH she is thrilled. In Novice. Now she is in Prizewinner for that, all Prizewinner, along with L. It's hard yet, ultimately, a good learning experience.
For a couple hours today, we thought L didn't get into this feis, her registration perhaps lost in the mail (and *I* mailed it for them yikes, as a backup plan if Seattle didn't work as Ian and Kelly's reception is tomorrow and M and L were to dance their beautiful 2-hand reel for it....). Ends up, quick response from the feis committee, L's mother did the calculations a bit off, but L is registered. I'm relieved; M is happy. We didn't want L not to go. We don't want L not to win. We want L to have good times and dance well. We just also want that for M. L who we were taking with us to Seattle until that fell through, and L who then took M to Ocean City for 2 days, and who was maybe going to come with us tonight, and we will plan times for them again, L who is one of M's best friends along with Md (who is at the beach or would have come tonight). At some point, either L or M will start moving up again from Prizewinner, and then in a couple types of dances they won't compete against each other. It'll work out:) They support each other, they will support twins who are M and L's age as it's the twins first feis!, support K at her first prelim, and even M's "feis-friend," from the OTHER Irish Dance school. Even while M is so poised to do her impressive "own it" reel on Sunday, and should do her best and enjoy it.
M is debating which dance classes next year, all of which start earlier, not wishing to give up riding yet. There may come a time, however. She is in a similar level with her horse back riding, yet, rarely gets to show, and does not have the same type of support system there. M will love it again, though, just going there after school (until dance). K just finished a 2-week riding camp today, and they were talking last night. K was dancing while waiting for her food order. I asked if that was the reel she was using in the Oireachtas. The reel M created with TCRG, Ma, which M named Daisy's Reel, is now the one being used by K and some others from our school in this year's Southern Region Oireachtas. "Mom, it's a treble reel." K stays dancing out the bars, "My mother told me that horses don't take kindly to little girls who are dancing a treble reel." M proceeded to tell K a time when M did an "over the bridge" step and the horse was less than impressed. Later at bedtime, M explains to me that they didn't mean while ON and RIDING the horse, but nearby one. Oh. So, Irish step dancers and horses together mean stay away from both due to risk of kicks?
My shining star who is on a webkins site right now, lol. She is a beautiful dancer, with a good heart, who isn't hosting a last minute birthday party at "the" fair tonight, "I hate having a summer birthday," so yawn, we'll go. We never miss this fair, ever, spending days there each year in years past. I'm not always as big on the carnival part. That's alright. It's our tradition.