Ides of May, much nicer out than Ides of March is:) It was calling for 87F or so today, and maybe reached it. Sitting under the partly-shady tree, with a breeze and Daisy, it was simply gorgeous:) At the fire drill, having me feel a mite awkward at first as I had to wear one of those orange vests while helping direct and account, one person asked, jokingly, "Can we do this again?" It was another skirt (without hose)-wearing remembering the guys who've made me feel pretty along the way love this perfect weather kind of day.
Not even sure how I remembered that THIS year, JB would be turning 50 years old. I had it on my calendar, though. I always remember Ides of May. Like SO's b-day is on my grandmother's, and SB's b-day is on M's. Hmmm, two S's, maybe third one would be the charm....... Anyway.
Some 20 years ago, I was the one in the office whose turn it was to host the birthday bash. I got JB a lot of black "over the hill" napkins and supplies. Everyone else was older, so chuckled and thought it amusing. I could see me, now, being one of the ones amused and chuckling, and trying to read the small print jokes on those napkins.
I used to love him, a not really believing child raised by missionaries as the only blonde-haired, blue-eyed kid in their South American town. We'd talk in Spanish sometimes. He is very smart. We worked some on a Caribbean project, among other things, and I dreamed of having us living on some island and teaching our babies Spanish. LOL. Brian dreamed of me then, sent me Valentine's in the Diamondback (University of Maryland newspaper), switched classes to be with me, but then, I wanted JB. I was slow irt Brian, wished I'd caught him sooner, but. JB and I stayed friends, mostly stayed secret from others at work, too, ha, even with the memories. Seems eons ago.
I've dated older, and younger, but JB feels like he's my age. So it's as if he's the first one my age to hit the big 5-0, boyfriend or not. I did a search, e-mailed him at his "new" by 4 years job, having not talked for about 5 or so years. I likely last saw him taking his two children to a Take Your Kid to Work Day, a Christian himself at this point. M was still happy to go this year, now I help out with them, my favorite work day of the year. Igot a return e-mail almost immediately. Sigh, assuming an automatic response. Nope, he sent his cell # and hoped I could call. We caught up today. Exchanging photos and banter, kid talk and how each of us is talk, did I marry, no turned the one guy down as it'd have had me miserable, why, eh, enough reasons, and he was glad I'd figured that out in advance (me, too). He looks happy in the photos, says he's happy in his new state. And not 50. Somehow. Or, well, about my age and I'm not 50 yet, I'm 45.5, so hey, that's not that old, right? lol
I'm in such a better mental / emotional state chatting with him, then I was when meeting up with Brian this past fall. I needed to see Brian, but still, that'll be his image of me for a while. Then again, he always did love and accept me for me. Just wish he'd also see me again now, stronger, too. JB and I could even meet up again, some year, as long-term friends, who once knew each other so well. Or, "old" friends, just not feeling old yet! This time, I didn't even think to joke about him being over the hill. It beats the alternative, and, I'll be there soon enouhg.
stirs up a lot of memories and emotions, doesn't it...some things never completely fade.
ReplyDeleteLoving me & accepting me for Me is required. I am too odd & stubborn for it to work any other way. You, on the other hand, are not odd or stubborn. If you aren't being accepted for what you are, I think THEY have the problem. ~ Mary
ReplyDeleteHow wonderful! :o) Thats so nice to have and charish! :o)
ReplyDeleteLisa