Friday night; hopeful

I was hearing, believe it or not, after I first got in my car at the hospital, Goo Goo Dolls, Better Days. I will likely always love that song.
Just a wuick one, hopefully. Dad is much improved. Oh, still there, still wheezing if you listen, but a turn for the better. Even the nurse there 2 nights ago (I missed last night, though called), smiled as we talked about his improvement, lungs, feet, etc.. He tried to joke with her (she didn't catch that), and he complained mildly about some minor thing or two. (He's even back offthe catheter now.)
Bless the nurse, Ari I think?, who was thee only one of the staff there, and I LIKE this hospital and staff, to try to keep his sheets clean. I usually had to point it out, and then it was "I'll get to that," and an hour would pass. Or, Dad was told they had no more clean sheets, he'dbeen changed threetimes. Um, then something's wrong.
This woman, she didn't put it off (and I couldn't even tell), but he'd recently finished with his portable urinal, and she asked me if I wouldn't mind please stepping outside, that she wishedto change him. She was even respecting his privacy with me, in a way no one else there had. I like that:)
On another note, I have been playing phone tag with the doctor, who I did not see tonight. I did get a message that Dad is doing well enough, that he is likely to be transfered to physical rehab soon. Oh, I may have written that already. lol
but, I called Doug. He's still in pain, and hoped his mail included the MVA forms so hecan send them in andget handicap plates (or go in person, but then park forever away so that's not happening). He said his knee is still looking screwy, leaning IN. That doesn't sound good. But, he's got a second opinion lined up or being worked on. "Notwife" comes by most days on her lunchbreak.
I told Doug I'd likely not hear my cell phone some of this weekend (blocked in the hospital, or appears to be if not in the waiting room, and then the feis!!! on Sunday with M). Doug said he likely wouldn't call, anyway. Whatever. He did talk w/ me about things re: dad and the house work and all, but guess he's expecting me to keep him informed. I'm glad he'll get a second opinion on his leg/etc., however.
Ma called, thrilled at how great of an assistant M was for the beginners camp this week. She didn't play with them, or pick them up, she worked with them and actually had them doing things correctly, yet they had fun with her, etc., etc. "You can't teach that," Ma said, as in, how to work with kids and teach them. "And she seemed to be having fun." I'm so proud of her:) Not at all surprised, but still proud:)
I think M did NOT get to go to the pool party today as the after-camp fun time (at least, the group photos sent don't seem to include her, hard to see them right now), nor did she get to see Grandma (my mom) today as anticipated. C came, alone, to pick up the dance dresses and "stuff" for Sunday'[s feis, yet enroute to getting M, I think, whatever. I know she had fun a lot of this week and being "allowed" to attend is a big deal. I'm happy for that:)
And, then I was thinking later. As nice as all of the staff including the nurses have been at that hospital, that extra touch of dignity and respect the one showed tonight? One can't "teach" that, either, in a way. Show it, model it from parent to child, really, but it is still within a person.
(Ah, and I have a "beauty salon" visit set up for Dad, in his bed. I'm quite happy to pay that money, shampoo/ cut / beard trim, and he askedto have his nails clipped, too, so he'll get a manicure:) )
So, anyone out there prayingfor Doug and/or my father? Bless you, and thank you. Chicklet, I know you're one of them -- I told Doug, and that you had your Bible Camp praying and my church, and that he's in good hands. He thanks you, too:) I do believe in the power of prayer. I've felt it, I know God is there and one way we do have to help someone, is to pray. God is listening. Bless you and thank you:)
okay, way past midnight, even my girlfriend has stopped calling me, first telling me she's outwith all of our Italian friendsfrom that night, including R but not N (I tell her whatstate N's in, and it's not MD), and the one is really funny (I tell her I think that guy isreally sweet, and observant, cuz I believe it). And she can't tell him I said hi, as then he'll know shecalled me, and she' on the metro. She no longer cares that she's got a ticket forthefirst group of Harry Potterbooks.
But, hey, I told her I felt she should go pick it up, still, anyway. She doesn't haveto READ it yet, but, enjoy picking it up now. And now it's Saturday. I have way over booked my plans for today, including cleaning M's room ha, right, hoped to watch MegaMAID dance (but she's dancing way early saturday at this 2-day feis), may catch her in the afternoon and Ma and other adults for some, um, socializing after getting Dad his eyeglasses he's nowready for and money for his beauty salon visit and etc.
Other than the call from the social worker I see a caller id notice on my phone, likely the nurse checking on Dad, which is fine justone more thing, life will be okay. Yawn. :)

I'm not actually hungry.......

Gorgeous Friday, really.  Warm outside, not hot, breezy, and blue skies all the more clear this week.

 

My dad's getting better and better.  I'm playing phone tag with Dad's doctor, who has relayed that Dad will move into physical rehabilitation within a day or 2.  It's a relief that I don't need to fight for this.  (I did when Dad had his last mini-stroke.)  A neighbor of his, a family Doug and I grew up with and played with, this woman a friend of my mother's, will visit Dad today.  I worry that they're not taking care of everything I want looked at for Dad.  His feet look practically normal, size-wise, and have since Tuesday, really, but the skin is not good.  For one thing.  Diabetes, prostate cancer, can they do a colonoscopy or whatever just in case, as he's had colon cancer in the past?, etc.  I've heard that those with dementia have their brains look different, so will the CAT scan show that?  I'm the one who puts on (and changes) his socks after lotion, and sometimes even with a catheter, as he really is not set up where he can move and get to the restroom, his sheets need changing yet they sometimes don't get changed quickly.  But, as my mother says, for the most part, he's in good hands.  Yes, I like this hospital a fair bit.  We've been to a few with him.  They charge for parking (during the day), but otherwise, they seem real good.  His contractor is a decent enough sort, too.

 

I'm trying not to be overwhelmed.  I DO, as some have pointed out, have my plate full and it's not all good things to eat, which, of course, would be preferable:)  (As does N.  I wish for him a light spirit this weekend, that Monday and Tuesday (when his friend is interned at Arlington National Cemetary) will still come, try not to think of them, and instead enjoy his weekend away with family.)

 

I try to balance the heavier stuff with little things each day.  Today, the Guarana soda and Brazilian desert tasted um good in the sunshine as I walked past the aroma of fried pig flesh (at the Amish market).  I'll visit Dad later, and his house, sure, and yet also take Daisy on a hike (hopefully).  Sunday is M's next feis, preparations for THAT.  She'll pick up her dresses and "stuff" from my mom's later today.  It'll be good to see M (on Sunday for me).  I'm feeling really good about this feis for her, and am excited for it myself!  The desk place wanted to deliver it tomorrow, um, ack, no.  I haven't gotten that far yet ha.  Thinking of options of the various projects at my father's, and ideas for housing him until his place is prepared (assuming he returns), having him go through listswith me of things he wants done, and, they'll get there.  Most I knew of, anyway.

 

I aimed for an hour of "normalcy" last night, knowing life would only let me make 1 hour of the mini-ceili (dance) last night, but by golly, I was going.  My girlfriend ended up not able to go, but that's okay.  She and I talked while I drove, and drove.  I don't even know how much stress relief I'd get from the dancing, or how much would really come from seeing friends/ socializing for I felt down.  I never did find the street.  I realized later, I was near Doug's but he'd have been asleep (and I'd have called first, anyway).  One more drive by Dad's house, then the time NOT spent dancing, meant Daisy and I got a good, long walk in last night. And more laundry, or, I should say, turning on the dryer a couple more times as it just isn't working fully since the dryer ducts were cleaned out. 

 

Two projects I'm putting off.  I can't do it all.  I AM glad Dad's improved, even sounds better on the phone but also looks better.  I have hair scissors to trim his beard tonight, too, as it's interferring with his bronchial mist treatments.  I don't deal as well with a chronic-crisis bit as I do with a crisis-crisis bit.  The chronic stuff gets overwhelming.  It's more difficult to deal with emotionally, and in terms of "what to do" stuff.  I have to break it down into pieces, as much so I can say, okay, I'll do this now, and that then, as to make it manageable. 

 

Tuesday, on our second morning walk, a man slowed down in his truck and pulled along side of us.  "Did you notice where we missed anything?"  "Excuse me?"  I had heard him, but was taken off guard, and was trying to place who he was, even though he did look mildly familiar only.  He repeated the same thing.  Oh.  He was the senior guy who'd power-washed all the siding and walls for our condo building Monday that had Daisy going nuts.  "Oh, no.  They look great."  He drove away, seemingly pleased with his work.  I hadn't even noticed.  I knew they were dripping; I knew that they'd picked up every rug and item so our personal belongings would not be ruined.  I never even took time to look at the walls.  I did after this man asked me.  And, you know what?  They DO look great, really nice.

 

Life still goes by -- take a moment to stop and notice it, too.  Otherwise, it's just too much.  No more helpings for me right now, please:)  

 

p.s. -- I really appreciate all the prayers and e-mails and support.  Thank you.

"Your Irish Dancer Wears Combat Boots" aka, real men can dance

This is just too good not to share.  John Nygard, of Irish Dance school Heinzman, does an impromptu bit of Irish stepdancing for his military unit in the Air Force Academy.  Not in dance shoes or even sneakers.  In his COMBAT boots.  This is worth watching even if not for the added difficulty of those particular boots (meaning, yes, he is great, kicks, posture, style).  Real men can dance:)

WebGuy Videos | WebGuy Notes   or, http://www.usafawebguy.com/video

Please go to the 7/16/07 video entry, "Your Irish Dancer Wears Combat Boots."

If I could figure out how to imbed it, I would. 

Update:  Quick internet search on the name, John Nygard, shows him, if thee same guy as in the two articles I found, as being a World Qualifier in the competitive world of Irish stepdance (and 16 years old in March of 2006).  I knew he was good!  A third article sums up what else I'd come across (basically, bright, good kid, and a heck of a dancer):  http://www.toledofreepress.com/?id=4806

Tags: Your Irish Dancer Wears Combat Boots, Irish stepdancing, real men can dance, John Nygard

Mazel Tov is all we do......

Even M now is tempted to sing that, "Mom, it REALLY sounds to me like they're singing, "Mazel Tov is all we do.""  I spent a few days trying to remember what they were actually singing.  I have most of the Goo Goo Dolls songs memorized, at least from that CD.  So yesterday, annoyed with some pop song on the car radio, trying to de-stress some, anyway, I popped in this cd, happily singing along.  And relented, the second time Stay With You came on, and pulled out the lyrics.

"I'll stay with you.  The walls will fall before we do.  Take my hand now.  We'll run forefer.  I can fell the storm inside you.  I'll stay with you....." 

Big difference, really.  ("the walls will fall before we do," lovely sentiment, vice well, the inane thing I could have sworn my ears heard them singing.)

There's a song that I could have sworn sang, "I could do your girlfriends."  Not until a radio station had some lyric/song guessing game on, did I learn that the guy was really singing, "Like you do your girlfriends."   Oh.

What are YOUR song lyric bloopers?

Tags: Goo Goo Dolls, Stay With You, song lyric bloopers

Next..........

"Yesterday sucked," said the courier.  Last night, Dad would occasionally say, "I sure didn't think today would end up like this."  I do agree.  Then, once he added, "Ah, well, there wasn't anything good on television today, anyway."  I COULD complain, but what's the point?  Just deal and move forward.

For those of you who have asked, thanks, my brother Doug is doing remarkably well!  He's out of his cast, and will start physical therapy once he gets the handicap tag.  His appointment Friday was rescheduled due to emergency, to yesterday.  Along with everyone else's.  He got a scant if that 15 minutes, and is still feeling as if he doesn't know a lot about what's going on.  He can't get his mail, he can't use some of his house, but he is sure looking forward to sitting in the shower.  Apparently sponge bathes get old.  This new set of un-splinted sensations can be almost as painful as that first day.

So, feeling a lot of relief yesterday after having a cathartic conversation with Beth (following a not great Sunday evening but I did NOT let myself get too down, nope, C can't do that to me any more even if I do miss M), I got some other things rolling.  Almost stopped by Sears last night enroute to visiting Dad, still finding the right refrigerator for Dad.  Nah, Daisy and I will spend some time together instead.  Righttt.   A nurse called me.  Apparently they tried my office when I'd stepped out for a short lunch.  This time, it's Dad.

Late afternoon Sunday, I brought Dad groceries, realizing he really had not eaten as much this past week or did I just over buy?  He was dead asleep, snoring, though, so I knew he was likely alright.  Not feeling well, not even physically, and the house dark, I departed without waking him.  I knew trash gets picked up Tuesdays, and that I'd visit him Monday.  Oy.

Before I was off with the nurse, Dad called me, finally remembering the number I suppose.  He never ever usually forgets numbers.  He was lucid enough, yet I could tell his breathing was not right.  Doug asked if Dad was slurring his words as if another stroke.  "No, I don't think so.  It sounded like pneumonia."  I knew it was something lung-related.  I didn't need to be correct.

Dad fell, and the contractor and helper had difficulty picking Dad up.  He'd missed cues that he had eliminated, also.  He was wheezing.   (After walking Daisy and feeding the pets at home,) I spent oh, however many hours first at his home (he USUALLY has the trash ready for me, but he didn't this time instead it was a bit scattered, and other things that are off for him).   A lot of things got put into the freezer, fresh fruit I'll try to eat I suppose.  Bringing him clean clothes, I met up with Dad at the ER.  Ultimately, about 1 a.m., I finally left after confirming that the doctors would not return, and Dad WOULD be admitted.   Antiobiotics for the pneumonia, tons of questions by everyone, EKG, monitors galore, and insufficient urinal availability.  (Doug thinks Dad had to urinate that often due to the fluids in the IV, but gosh, hourly?  Dad could tell me, though, that he had to go, in advance.)  They'd tested for blood clots with ultrasound (his feet looked horrible, very swollen, I've never seen them like that and I am the one who usually bathes him).   Dad enjoyed that guy, a Mike, said that Mike did all sorts of things with Dad's feet and legs.  They ran a CAT scan with a technologically-advanced looking CAT scan machine (what chipper, positive guys working there, the one cute one offering me a blanket as it was cold).  During the actual scan, I waited in the hallway to protect me from radiation, I assume.  An elderly woman was wheeled up, alone, to wait.  I said something to her, and then she just opened up and talked and talked.  Her dog just came home from a week in "the" hospital for pneumonia, for one thing, but I took note that the womans niece was there, so the niece would know to take care of the dog just in case...   They gave Dad a blood thinner, also, in case he had a blood clot.  His father had died of one at age 76.  Dad's 74.  I think today when I visit, I'll ask them to check his prostate, also; Dad's brother died of prostate cancer oh, late 50's / early 60's?  If Dad really has a "going problem" as the ads say. 

I'm so tired.

At one point last night, I went into the restroom as much for something to do as anything else.  Alone, I thought, "Can I just scream now?"  Or, was that when I first got into my car, leaving Dad knowing he'll be okay and thanking the nurse, and praying. 

I've talked a lot with Doug.  The nurse wants me to call her back with an update.  Fine, nice of her, great, just she called me an hour after we'd talked.  LOL.  I wasn't HOME.  Canceled Meals on Wheels for now.  Get a key to the contractor, and meet up with him to discuss additional needs (bars throughout places, for one of many things).  Dad okayed me giving this guy a key, heck, when he wasn't sleeping (it was SO late for Dad), we talked of a few things.  A few times we went through, "This is where Doug was born, right?"  "Yes, Dad, (some new thought)."  "And you were born in Texas.  NO, that was Beth, that must have been Beth who was born in Texas."  Being so very late at night for him, and on medications and sick, I figured that amount of lucidity was good.

The one doctor told me that my job is to tell the hospital that I am NOT taking Dad home, so that they are forced to put him into physical rehabilitation.  I had to do this once previously, learning that the hard way and a nurse slying telling me this.  Dad had had a stroke, and was still in real bad shape.  They didn't realize that this wasn't his normal.  His incoherency (sp) was on high alert, too, questioning why the other patient in the room would dare enter Dad's home.  That man was being discharged and played along.  Shook Dad's hand, said he was a friend of mine and had been invited, but would leave now.  The man nodded to my distressed face, and wished us luck.  I had to leave, also, discharge was taking hours longer than anticipated (I'd come to pick Dad up, but he physically SO not right, couldn't even lift himself up from lying down).  I had to pick up M and said I'd be back.  Except, in Dad's best interests, it killed me, but I didn't come back that day.  I still cry to think of that.  The next day, they had worked out admissions to rehab, and I drove him the couple blocks over.  Rehabilitation did wonders for Dad after that, physically, AND he's never been that confused since.  What about the people who never recover?   This time, it'll be easier, and this time, it's not a stroke.  They estimate approximately 5 days in there.  Just, this time, CAN he go home after, with more care available than now perhaps?

I've talked a LOT with Doug about a lot of this situation, the larger and littler aspects.  He feels badly he can't help out physically.  I would feel badly I am likely not going to be able to help take him to HIS physical rehabilitation.   But, Doug, and N (who is busy as heck himself), and other friends, have been able to be at the other end of the phone for me.  That still helps:)  

Even Daisy, who barked for SO long this a.m. as they power-washed the sides of our condo.  I can't blame her for that.  I prefered our spirited walk at 1:30 a.m., and her snuggling next to me while I attempted to sleep a few hours.  Life goes on.

Tags: eldercare, pneumonia, physical rehabilitation

Happy years to Ian and Kelly:)

 

 

The official U.S. wedding ceremony for my first cousin, Ian, and his bride, Kelly, is tonight.  In Maine.  I told Beth that we could have made that one!  Then again, M couldn't; she's in her mandatory performing dance troupe camp this week and went w/ C for visitation.  But, I could have.  This will be special for Ian and Kelly and their friends:)  Beautiful island spot, rather intimate sounding gathering.  No family angst possible with no family there.  I think I'd enjoy marrying in such a fashion if I were her.  (But, I'm not, so I'm hoping she is enjoying it.)

July 7, 07, was their "heart" ceremony in Canada, or did it involve a clergy member, it's as if he's truly been married already (to her on that day, then), so ?   The U.S. doesn't recognize it, however.  To be legal here, she is required to have a justice of the peace (or something official) in the states, also.  T

Hey were going to wait until that first week in August, with M and I joining and a lovely reception planned out past Puget Sound. 

Oh, how lovely.  M was to dance there, we'd hoped to bring L with M.  Ma helped create a 2-hand reel specifically for M and L, in some parts, for this reception.  What a relaxing, enjoyable time I had in my mind for all of us.  Too much, though.  As Beth put it, maybe I really just need to stay here where I belong right now (with Doug so injured, what if something happened to our father?  It was tearing me up.  It's one thing if M and I are, say, at the beach a couple hours away.  It's an entirely other thing if we're some 3,000 miles away.  Plus C is being persnickety (and we'd not fly back until a few hours past the due time).  And with L not coming, the girls still wish to spend the week together.  Never mind all the home repairs at Dad's, and trying to clean up ours.   The trip would mean squeezing in so many things in such a short time, also.

Ian and Kelly will still have the reception.  M won't dance :(  I am truly sad about that.  I'm also relieved that this was resolved and now the plans can occur.  But, the "official" U.S.A. legally-accepted ceremony?  It's tonight, now.   Her green card, the next step in her process that she's been complying with all along (has legal fiance status now), is about $3xx. through July 30th.  After that, come August?  Beth told me a cost of over $1,000., I think about $1,100.  Crazy.  They'd spend that if they had to, but, why if they don't?

Here, it's raining, finally. We need it so.  I imagine the island in Maine is gorgeous tonight for them.  Cheers, Ian.  Cheers, Kelly, and welcome to our family:)  Love and hugs to you both!!!

UPDATED:  I updated this to include a photo of the happy couple from their wedding on July 7, 2007, in British Columbia.  The U.S. Immigration Service doesn't recognize this event for the purpose of her immigration applications.

Tags: Ian and Kelly wedding, Kelly and Ian wedding, immigration

Rockin' Girl Blogger

A very belated thank you goes out to Angie, Canyonsun04, for choosing me as one of her top 5 Rockin' Girl Bloggers.   (Angie writes three aol journals:  The Black Butterfly is her newest one, about her dreams, My Life & Chaos ! is her private journal all about, gee guess what, her life! (where she awarded 5 of us bloggers), and she also plans to resuscitate The Giving Tree.)

In turn, I am to chose five women who have not yet received this award to bestow this to.  That's why it's taken me this long, Ang.  So many good journalers.  Limiting this to women is one way to edit my list, limiting this to those who have not yet received it, edits out other worthy nominees (congrats!).   To keep me down to just five, I'm including only public aol journals.  I hope you can take the time to visit.

In no particular order, here are my chosen five Rockin' Girl Bloggers:

Rebecca and her blog:  In The Shadow Of The Iris   She writes about pieces of her life with superb openness and eloquence.  Beautiful writer.

Sheria and her blog.  On My Mind  She writes thought-provoking entries including politics that affect real life, with spirit and willingness to laugh.

Winivere and her blog.  The Woman in The Glass Box  Win works with youth, recently unemployed and tackling her search for the best new opportunity and weight loss with positive focus, sharing her inspiration here. 

J.W./silverdoe64 and her blog.  yathink?  She writes of her life as a mother and wife (to a man with ADHD!), and, well, I just enjoy reading her, so there:)

Kathi for her two blogs.  MAIL CALL!Supporting the Troops  She is a "soldier's angel" and shares information about how to support our men and women in the military, from care packages to highlighting individuals in her Wednesdays Hero.  The Patchwork Quilt is where she posts such things as photos of her basketcase cat:)  Hey, I'm a sucker for cats. 

Please take a few moments to visit these positive-attitude, strong women writers, Rockin' Bloggers:)  (Even if I'm so not fond of referring to women as girls.  I"m overlooking that right now.  lol) 

Tags: Rockin' Girl Blogger, blogplugs