big things that aren't, little things that are (big)

Yesterday morning, E apologizes again for not having bought fresh milk.  Not that I require it in my chai tea latte mix I keep there, that comes rather pre-dry milked; I just like adding more.  He calls up to me, "Will non-fat dairy creamer work?"  He'd scrounged for me.  I'm really not worried about it, but gosh, that's so sweet and considerate.  So I smile, "Yes, it will be fine, E[name]."

The engine in my vehicle may have finally died yesterday.  Naturally, the day after I'd spent $48. in gas I can't truly afford.  Just 2 days after the new registration had been due, which I had to pay an enormous $180. for a bit over a week ago (unused portion can be refunded, still, sheesz, who can afford to eat after paying that much? this is the cost everyone pays, somehow).

Last fall, my vehicle overheated, and replacing the water pump wasn't sufficient to fix the bit of engine damage.  It's gotten worse.  After E spent about an hour one pre-dusk evening trying to determine what is wrong with the antifreeze/coolant situation, he told me to call him if I get stranded.  (Later, he and his brother put clues together and figured it's a blown head gasket.  I don't know what a head gasket IS, but I know it's a critical part to a car's engine.  When the emissions testing failed, it'd said the third cylinder had problems.)

So, yesterday I'd re-checked and thought I'd topped off the antifreeze levels, then headed to p/up M from "the" barn, connected to her school.  Going uphill on a windy, 2-lane road with vegetation on the side (no place other than the road), it started losing power.  Yikes, is this the transmission, or, no, not quite the same feeling....... it's not blowing warm air yet it's not overheating.....  I prayed, and God let me get across the road into the road  that's the entranceway to the school (and a neighborhood).  In the MIDDLE, but out of the main street that'd have been dangerous. 

I called a coworker to look up E's work #, and I did call him.  It was really nice to have someone to call.  I would only have had the mechanic I use, otherwise.  A couple parents stopped to ask if I was okay, could they give M or I a ride (locally), did I need to use their cell phone......  One parent stopped with his large-sized pickup after picking up his daughter from "the" barn, asked me what was up, and said he'd be back with "the boys" to move me into a safer location off the road.  He did, and they did, and they asked questions and tested things and wow, it started back up.  I drove up to "the" barn, turned it around before it started putzing and died again. They re-tested the antifreeze including via the hose there, more questions.  They, too, think it's likely a blown head gasket.   This parent /guy just DOES, and I appreciate that, too.

I walked back out near the main street, so that E could see me.  I'd tried E's cell phone, which I'd asked that he turn on.  Seems it was dead.  Ha.  Well, he wasn't too lost.  He volunteered to take us to M's class an hour away (WOW).  She actually missed her class-class, but made all of her needed rehearsal time.  Not that she was up for dancing.  Not feeling top notch and very tired.  Some of the dancers even came up to me, sad to hear of the car.  Wow, so sweet of EVERYONE.  E and I went to dinner, bringing M back leftovers.  I was stressed and blood sugar low so I ate some before we talked car talk.  And other talk, including finances, and more fun things.  E decided he'd let me use his car for a few days; he uses public transportation for work, anyway.  I'd get my vehicle in to be looked at, after removing some things, get a cost estimate and timeframe for either replacing an engine or finding a new vehicle.  "I just have to have faith that God will get me through this."  That combined with the idea that, really, compared with some of hte problems in the world, I'm alive, I can walk and talk, etc.

I was a bit hyper in the dance studio, talking with other parents, excited E was with me, feeling badly he'd come that far but wow.  I was showing off photos, the group photos of the performing troupes, "See, here's M dancing at Strathmore [Center for the Performing Arts] last summer,"  "Here's their photos from the pages used in the program at the Oireachtas...." while she and the others danced in the other room.  The Comhaltas (CCE Feis) opened up yesterday, and then capped in a record time of approximately 6.5 hours (last year was record time of about 12.5 hours).   I'd gotten M registered, phew!, and much of the parental-talk in the studio was about this upcoming feis.  Many did NOT make it in on time, yet 48 dancers from M's Irish dance school DID.  MegaMAID had returned from a CCE Festival this past weekend, where she met some people E and I both know, or who E knows.  (She had a great time! and is eager to do more ceili/set dances now, so yeah.)

We drop E off at his house, then drive home.  "It's okay for me to leave my dance (shoe) bag in here, right?"  "Yes."  I'd drive her to school this a.m., class tonight.  Throw her prop of an umbrella in with the bag, shut the doors, and press the "beep" button to lock everything.  I have no idea what happened to the car key since then.

I have looked where I walk Daisy, we've gone through all sorts of areas in the house.  Last night, this morning.  I didn't sleep well, worried about this and I still haven't called Doug back about Dad's house issues (OY).  Shaking my head, I feel like such a doofus.  E sent an e-mail about how nice it was to have dinner with me and to hear the banter between M and I as he drove us back home, to only put as much gas in as I'll have immediate need for.  I decide I'll have to see if I can pick up his dry cleaning for him today as otherwise he'll be out of clean office shirts until next week, assuming I find that key.

E was looking at fading microfiche from about 40 years ago, to research information, when I tried to call.  Later, I finally left him a voicemail saying I hated to leave him a message with this question, but.....   PHEW, a bit ago, he called and he does have spare keys.  Plural.  At his home, of course, which TODAY he's locked.  He didn't seem happy, but he also seemed accepting of this next step in the process of the somewhat crisis.  I so did not wish to bring him into any crisis or financial angst or anything that smacked of "irresponsible."  It's not, though, it's lack of money with a light at the end of the tunnel once I'm not paying tuition.  He tells me how it's basically noble and etc. of me to have sacrificed this for M. Well, I had to; her entire life is altered positively for her attendance there.  She has a good foundation now.  Just I'd like to appear to be running our independent lives successfully, at least for a couple more months until we have more time under our belts.

Last night, I responded to his arm around me, with my arm around him.  That black leather jacket is soft; he was looking really cute.  "So, are you my knight in black leather jacket?"  He didn't seem to mind (then).  :)  And, in time, maybe we can laugh that I (OF COURSE ACK) lost his car key...... 

Of course, both E and M anticipate that I will stay looking for it today / tonight.  Sure.  Just, maybe can we also plan for the backup plan of the extra one?  I was trying to get M back from HER class in time tonight, to let E go to HIS.....  he said he didn't need to, heck, I wanted to pick up his dry cleaning for him today while at my lunchtime that didn't happen, but oh well.  THIS isn't such a big thing, ultimately.  That I could call E, that he's trying to think of me and keep me happy by searching for non-dairy creamer, and driving M to her required rehearsal for the recital?  THOSE are the big things.......

I still feel like a doofus.  And need to call the mechanic, that I owe money to but he's being super nice about it......... 

 

 

 

Tags: cars, E, blown head gasket