Friday, October 12, 2007

I don't need her drama right now.

Mom called.  Good, we can re-confirm for tonight.  She said she wanted to check on how things are going [with all the stuff with my dad].  We talked some about it.  She'd been helpful earlier in the week, etc., which is great.  Bob (stepfather) was the first person I reached.  In the midst of my e-mails with Mom, she asked when she'd see M again.  Mind you, she skipped Grandparent's Day on Monday which she has never done (never did hear why; I did ask).  I suggested Friday.

We're done with other talking, and I mention us still coming up there tonight.  Did I just press a wind-up button?  Mom got really snippy with me, about how late we'd be up (ah, no, I'm even leaving early as soon as M's off school, but even if it was 6pm, so blasted what?), and seemingly also forgot what I told her M is doing this weekend.  She even fussed that M could bring up her new printer and that Mom would keep it until M pays for it.  M is scheduled to pay for it, part of their overall deal, but not like she's seen Mom to pay her, nor has Mom asked for it again, so meanign to pay her, sure, just what the heck (besides, I need to run to the bank first to do that, get M her money).  "Well, then, I want that old printer back."  Bob had nicely given us a computer printer some years ago, but gosh the cartridges cost something like $30. each and back then, that'd would mean no money for groceries.  I was pulling up to my place in order to check my mail, but didn't plan to go inside.  I just told her I wouldn't be back home first [to pick up the printer].  If I had that amount of time, I'd pick up the death certificates and urn.  (Somehow, I keep putting THAT off....  just a rather weird thing.  I've been doing a lot of other of Dad's affairs instead.)  I did end up going in to walk Daisy, but didn't finish any of Dad's laundry, nor wash M's bubble socks she needs for this weekend, nor figure out the old printer.  I think it still works fine, just too costly.  I've been a little too busy to deal with that right NOW.

Mom concluded with a really snotty sounding, "Well, I guess we'll see you later."  I'm so tired.  I'd love to just stay HOME.  Hang out with M.  We tried some of it last night, and I'd get yet another call (yes, I'm screening them more now, yet they all really mean well, yanno).  See one of the high school football games even which we haven't done all fall yet.  Wait, what?  "We don't have to come up."  She wants us up, well, she wants M up.  Just for longer.  Heck, I'd like more time with M, also.  If it weren't for M expecting to go up, if it weren't for M, period, I would so not bother.   I'm so tired.  If Mom starts in on something tonight, especially if just snippy and no real explanation of whatever is bugging her, I am feeling very tempted to just ask M when she wants me to come back and pick her up, that I'm leaving.

The night my father died, I stayed a while with M before she fell asleep, holding her.  I told M how proud Grandad was of her, and how he was not so perfect (he, ah, had issues), but he did love her, and me, unconditionally.  And he was proud, and he was not exactly very good at parenting or grandparenting, tho he wanted to be, and he did love unconditionally.  Dad was happy to see me even if M wasn't with me (which is not how my mother is like).  If he was unhappy, he'd just say.  I hope my mother gets over her drama before we get there.  Everyone else has been almost overboard fantastic in their support.  I'm not asking for her support, or to overlook something, but I've done nothing wrong, and we don't deserve this snippiness.


  1. Hope it goes well for you.  Remember it's not about you. ~ Mike

  2. You are right, you don't need her drama right now.  I hope all goes well ~ I've been thinking about you and hoping you are holding up under the stress.  Take good care.

  3. I hope things smooth out for you with your  Mother.You need more compassion just now.Know I am thinking of you and I hope your weekend goes a little smoother.Prayers being said .Take Care God Bless Kath

  4. Awwwwww Robin, sorry your mom is causing drama, praying for you , Hugs Lisa

  5. Our moms sound a bit the same. <sigh> hope it gets better, good luck dear

  6. my mom died when i was 9 years old so i have no idea what your going through with your mom. but i do hope she gets over the drama. ((((((hugs)))))

  7. I don't deserve it and she should know that now is a hard time for you. My Mother is the same way...we don't get along at fact she hasn't called me in months...but life is better that are still in my prayers you and M I know you are both going through a lot right now...hope things get better for you soon....June:)

  8. Ahh, parent~child dynamics. I know your Mom has been good financially with M, maybe she has hit a rough $$ spot & hasn't mentioned it, or maybe she's feeling out of sorts about your Dad's death also & reacting. I hope after the visit all is well.  
    Unconditional love is much better than perfection; pefection's always fake. I'm glad she knows how proud he was of her. ~Mary

  9. It's sad but sometimes when we're hurting it is easier to hurt those we love dearly just because we know they will forgive us later on. I know that doesn't make anything easier or excuse her conduct towards you, but just thought I would say that. Hope things go well. You all have enough to deal with.
    Take care, Chrissie