Wednesday, December 31, 2008

and the new year will begin

E and I worked it out so that I can spend a few extra hours w/ my daughter (hmmm, special NYE dinner should be in the works), and us still get to the NYEceili later on. She decided not to go up to my mom's after all. She loves to visit my mom, and my stepfather, but M's been away for a bit on Christmas/holiday break. We'll see my mom tomorrow, then. Today, it is good to be home.

Even I've enjoyed being home today, the intimacies of the cats lives (so that explains the demise of the basil plant E's mother lovingly gave me for Christmas), Daisy so happy to have her mommy (M) home, just being. I've spent much of my time busy with Christmas or working, and/or at E's. Perhaps I should take off NYE more often.

The new year brings about hope. Anything we could wish for is possible, right, like a new day, or a new week, or a new date. New challenges, too, of course, but hope for good possibilities and improving myself.

I go into this about to come new year knowing I should have enough money each month to pay my mortgage (not always a certainty in the past), w/ my dad's estate (or, well, lack of, really) still to run through the court for them to close out and hope perhaps I can still get my piano from Dad's place. Hope my mother's health will stay improving, and M's asthma will get an even better working management plan. Hope that wow, am I well, after having been sick with one thing after another straight through since August, sans one week only so I got my flu shot then. That I'll spend more time with my fluffy warm cats even if it snow squalls again outside. Hope perhaps I'll get a car, finally, and no more buses and sometimes using E's car, and seeing more of my friends again. I look forward to M's continued growth into a young woman, such as these couple days of asking for time to talk, and presenting a plan for a vacation this summer w/ friends, not family, and even asking her dad. And, then tears I won't be home w/ her tonight (I wish I was, too, honey), even though she nixed grandma visit. Hope for her to stay enjoying her teachers (really), doing well and learning at school, and in her activities. Hope I can get more exercise in (E thinks he'll get me running, um, that'd require sneakers and I'm paying off other bills and things first, albeit he promises he'll cut down on his smoking some if I start running some, hmmmmm, well, I can't only walk Daisy and dance). Hope for better environmental laws and regulations, and financial world to not dip too muchdeeper and for us to maybe start recovering, hope my own financial life will continue the slow trend towards better health.

The sun is in those last couple full hours before starting to set on this last day of 2008. Three kitties are with me now, albeit I've gotten time with all five today, and Daisy and the hermit crab, and M as she showed me her various friends on facebook, all whom she knows in real life, too, and most I know as well. It's a continium, time lapsing and moving on, yet we separate it so that we can do things like taxes and work hours and all that coordinates our lives with one another.

I'll spend this separation / continium with M, with E, and seeing my mother and stepfather (not sure what my brother's up to but we did talk last week). I suppose, really, those are who matter most to me right now, closer by. Chatting w/ my aunt, wishing I'd see my goddaughter again soon, etc. But, it's good to have a warm home base to move on from and return to. It's good to have possibilities, and hope.

Martin Luther King, Jr., birthday marks the anniversary of my grandmother's passing (or at least, whatever day it was honored 8 years ago -- I'm better at remembering the holiday name than the date). She was buried the day before our current President was first Inaugurated, so she who worked on Capitol Hill in her heydey presumably after her college years but I'm not certain, got to miss 9/11 there in her town of Arlington that her neighbors were part of, she got to miss the 8 years of Presidency under, sigh, "Dubya." She missed her youngest son's death last year, my father, and her youngest grandson, Ian's, wedding and marriage. She missed this winter so far as one of the warmest on record. Born Quaker in Georgia, her main flaw, oft disguised, was trying to overcome her prejudice for blacks, as she was a good Christian and all, dying a devout Methodist, and Democrat. I wonder if she'd ever imagine the day when a half-black, half-white man would be inaugurated as 44th? President of this united States. There is hope for more reconciliation for our country, too, not limited to blacks and whites.

Today is the anniversary of her husband's death, my granddad, from County Meath, Ireland, entering the U.S.A., via Venezuela, from Ireland. I remember him, and think what all he's missed, too, and us of him. My aunt and her husband are spending a quiet evening in, journaling, reflecting, including the passage of time and people such as my grandma and grandad, her parents, and my father / her brother, and his family, too.

It's a new day dawning within about 16 hours. A continium, yet fresh and new. What shall we fill our days with, what will our priorities be, our hopes and dreams worked on? Lord willing, may there be peace to all, including those servingour country who I really hopecan all come homesafe and sound, those who grieved this year for the loss of a loved one, too many have lost loved ones this past year or so, and while it gets easier no one says it gets easy.

Happy new year; enjoy some of your life. (The Eagles say, "some dance to remember, some dance to forget -- I've been doingboth this past 14 months and will again tonight.) I am grateful that I can dance, and hear the music and feel the beat, and it'll be fun.


  1. Have a great New Year Robin! Enjoy M!! Oh and the cats and dog and E. :-)


  2. Wishing you happy, healthy 2009 filled with the promise of love, prosperity and happiness. Enjoy your time with your furry babies - they can soothe the soul so much.

  3. Happy belated New Year, Robin. I like your message of hope and promise. Thanks for sharing your remembrances of loss, your words speak volumes to me about the imortance of looking forward and living int the now and at the same time carrying the memories of lost loved ones in your heart.