A Warmer Shade of Cold

It was to be a practically balmy high of 32 F degrees today, wow.  It's still cold, mind.  It was calling for a wintery advisory of sleet, freezing rain, and snow.  We saw brief showers of sleet at one point this afternoon at "the" barn.  The ground and snow was still fairly frozen, the sun shone brightly. 

This morning's first walk with Daisy didn't require a hat to keep from hypothermia ears within minutes.  I didn't feel sharp cold through my corduroy pants the instant I went outdoors.  It was noticeably less frigid than the single digit weather over the weekend; I almost enjoyed having Daisy spend time with Paschma (cotton candy in Farsi, I do not know how to spell that).  The heater didn't hesitate like a car not quite turning over, but turned on nice gas heat when I flicked the switch. 

I still had a cup of hot tea with breakfast, okay, FOR breakfast (but I ate something soon after).  I still haven't gotten a nice instant chai tea latte mix for the winter, and my most local grocer hasn't even carried the liquid chai tea for months.  I've gone from withdrawal to checking out my options.  Hmmm, sorting through Christmas gifts, this decaffeinated one (oh heck no), or yes, okay, Earl Grey.  I was always an herbal tea gal.  I still love those:)  I want my caffeine now.  I remember evenings with Dougie and Stephanie, one in particular when they switched the sugar and salt, goating me on to add "sugar" to my tea in just such a fashion, that I lingered and decided not to.  Ha.  I add sugar and milk.  Oh yum.  THIS is how I have to have "regular" tea.

For lunch, I put on my mittens but don't really NEED them.  I still get soup, Maryland crab soup that's okay (could use more solid, less shredded crab meat, and more veggies, but the overall idea is traditional and good).  Nice and warm.

M was to run this morning at school, the weather still cold, and yet she was sent with a sweatshirt and polartec jacket (both from my house) to wear, no mittens/gloves, no hat, no scarf.  Sigh.  (The first time, she had an astham attack, so at least she takes her inhaler in advance now.)

By afternoon, she was fine warmth-wise.  We weren't sure "the" barn would be open for kids, so I came right after school to pick her up.  "Mom, can you stay and watch me ride??!!!"  She is working with beautiful white horse, Sage, who looks like a carousel horse, to help get her ready to be auctioned.  While it's sad to see her go and some others go, they aren't isn't being ridden currently at this barn.  Today was an afternoon she'd get to work with Sage.  Ah, what the heck.  I'll stay.

M picks Sage's hooves, and brushes her.   Pineapple's breath showed in the air.  Earlier, M pondered only a moment when asked by a younger girl if she should put a cooler (type of blanket) on her horse.  "Nah, it's not that cold."  Ha.  Comparatively.

A boy runs up out of breath to the point I wonder if he has asthma trouble, also.  He shouts out that horse, Noodle, is on "the" road.  Ah, which road (as in, hopefully it's the long driveway "road," not thee big road).  "Go tell (Barn Assistant)," I tell him, and M grabs a lead rope, gets further details as to where the loose horse is, yikes "big" road which could be serious trouble, and races off.  Barn Assistant is joined by a parent, who believes that Noodle is now in someone's garage. 

They drive off, while I stay behind with the younger girl so that she's not left unsupervised while she finished tacking up Pineapple.  At the time, there was also a dad there helping his young daughter tack up, but I wasn't sure if he was still around or not.  This younger girl, Pineapple's rider, starts wondering aloud if it's really Noodle who escaped, after all, and goes to check.  She then checks all the others, mentioning who is sneaky, who could do this trick and that and get out in that location.  NONE of "the" barn's horses are missing, phew (Barn Assistant didn't think that likely, either, but who is to question in a potential emergency?).

Ends up that this was a neighbor's horse.  A boy who rides at "the" barn has his own pony, Peaches I think, who escaped.  The "man" who had Peaches in a garage was really a woman who is a horse caretaker, also with a baby in her car in the garage.  While she was handling the situation, it was still a good idea to have other equestrians to assist just in case (and a couple tagalongs lol).  M tells me how bad off Peaches hooves got from this escape on the big road, her face wincing.  Thankfully, Peaches is in good hands and is safe.

The excitement and gratitudes over, a girl arrives just when her lesson is to start. This means that she missed her time to tack up and prepare her horse, Echo, and herself.  Barn Assistant asks M to help out.  "Sure."  (Helping out is a daily thing for M, who also "closed up"the bigger barn, sometimes sets feed, and feeds, or applies basic medicines.)  The girls mom is SO happy that M is helping show the girl how to do things, and getting her ready.  She asks me questions, also, about horse back riding, different local barns, the school, and camp.  The horse camp there at "the" barn that, surprise, M's too old for this year (I could have sworn she had through this summer). 

They head to the indoor ring.  The outdoor ring is still covered in snow, and would not be good for their hooves, for one thing, can't imagine horse back riding on the icy patches.  I make a pit stop, in part to warm up my toes some.  I wasn't anticipating being outside for long, and they were getting COLD!

It was nice watching M, even while she's not in a lesson, I can see the difference in her riding ability as she manuever's Sage about the three girls during their lesson.  This is a beginner's lesson, half-way through the year.  I remember when M was that young, and we seeked knowledge from the older girls.  Now, M is one of the older girls.  She maybe possibly will even get to help out this summer (depending on the schedule, her visitation schedule cuts into the session weeks sigh, and heck, C didn't even allow her to attend her lesson yesterday but they did NOTHING else mind).  Right now?  I'm pleased to see how gracious she is, and later, before she started her astronomy homework, I let her know that.  "It's stuff I do every day."  Ah, but today, I could watch.

Day is done.  It's still cold, yes, but what a nicer version of winter this is now than the frigid single digit and teen temperatures this weekend (when having Daisy AND a cat sleep with me was nice for the additional warmth).  Even if barncat Raptor wouldn't let me take a photo of him today in the sun, against the worn green barn walls just a ledge above the snow.  He wanted to be scratched, instead, enjoy the NOW instead of having me capture the moment.

It's a full moon on the frozen landscape, a warmer shade of winter.

reading from the script

No time to go home, go to the bank (ack, I'd forgotten the checks I wrote for M's costumes for "Big Show,"), AND write my last entry on my lunch break.  I'd already consumed my brought-from home healthy snacks.  It was a fast-food drive thru if I was going to eat and not have a hypoglycemic spell.  Limited choices... hmmm, let me try...

"I'd like a veggie burger, please."

"Just the sandwich, or the meal?"  I don't eat fries, other than 2 of M's if she orders some, and I'll save the drink money for the water fountain.

"Just the sandwich, please."

"Cheese, bacon, or jalapeno peppers on that?"  There are several possible reasons for someone to order a veggie burger, not one of which is compatible with the desire to top it with bacon.

I'm not sure if she is required to ask that, or if she just wasn't really thinking.

I did pay 20 cents extra for the slice of cheese.  The sandwich WAS pretty good (next time, I'll ask for no mayo, who puts mayo on a burger of any type??!).  But, BACON?

Tags: fast food, veggie burger

Don't Stand/Hang out at MY Desk!

Just because YOU are sick (with a virus no less, not something that can't be passed along readily, just because YOU "have meetings all afternoon" even when you could call in for them, just because YOU like to be at least 5 minutes early for every meeting, especially our boss, just because OUR boss is amazingly on-time considering his ADHD, just because our coworker (Kiss-up Manager) is the one with Boss currently and she always takes extra time, this time legitimately, does NOT mean you get to hang out and over MY cubicle!

For the 7 minutes you waited, sick, standing over MY cubicle ledge. 

And started asking me questions so okay, fine, ask, but at least see if I'm in the middle of something first.  I finished and talked w/ him, NewGuy, but I finally said I was working on something, in hopes he'd sit down to wait.  He walked around.  Ah, gee, great, let's spread the germs ALL over.

Another coworker and him were sharing over the counter drugs at MY cubicle, earlier.  She left early for the doctor Monday, but otherwise kept working (thankfully for me, yesterday in another location, and I otherwise really like her).

ARGH ARGH ARGH.  So now my head is starting in, and my nose is running.

Gee, thanks. 

If you're sick and you're going to insist upon coming INto the office to work, can you PLEASE not hang out in MY area?  I can't afford to get sick, and get my DD sick (who is to sing the lead role in Cinderella in a few weeks).   What if I was still caring for my father?  Something like this could have killed him.

PLEASE at least attempt (or pretend) to be courteous.  Sheesz.

A few coworkers are working from home today, as they are sick. 

(And, if NewGuy is going to still show up at least 5 minutes early all the time?  Fine, others do, shrug, but don't get antsy at 1 minute after the start time, too, please, and yes, be respectful that I may be doing work, too, at that moment, cuz I was though I'm also happy to assist him, otherwise as needed.  And, when I say I need to talk with Boss first about something?  Don't go into Boss' office, also, as what I have to say may not be for his info, too, yanno?)

Mostly, DON'T GET ME SICK.  I like being well.

* note -- NewGuy wasn't sure he'd get paid if he went/stayed home, which comprised some of the questions he had for me.  (He would be paid,and may stay home some of tomorrow.)  I can emphatize (sp) with that dilemna.  Just, please, add some courtesy and don't go socializing so much!

Tags: sick coworkers

Doug and Red

 

My aunt Vesta sent me this photo today.  Seems a former girlfriend of my late cousin, Dougie (right) had found this on Richard's myspace page, titled Rest in Peace.  An old photo, guessing early 80's. 

FYI -- Doug's friend, Red, was working on a road crew, and got hit by a vehicle driving by.  He was paralyzed, a teenager paralyzed for life due to someone's reckless driving by a construction road crew site.  Please consider that these are REAL LIVE PEOPLE there when you drive near or by such a site.  Thank you.

Anyway, they were really close friends growing up and most likely until the day Dougie died.

I still miss him.

I had a lot of dreams over Christmas break and such.  In one, I was on a trip, most likely to a feis with M.  There isn't a lot of time for visiting and touring if going to and from a place to feis.  My cousin Dougie (not my brother Doug), was standing by a doorway, waiting for us to go do something, while I made plans to stay an extra day or two to spend time with him and my other relatives in Maine.  

Today, in writing my aunt back, I remembered another time I extended a trip to spend more time with Doug.  Even when we didn't live in Maine, we'd visit.  One summer, Dougie and I decided I just had to stay up there longer.   Hmmm, Alice Cooper was going to play the Portland Ampitheatre.  Not that I'd ever heard of Alice Cooper at this point, didn't even know Alice was a man, not that Dougie was a particularly enthusiastic fan, either.  (We were much more Beatle's fanatics, especially Dougie.)  Yet, somehow, we convinced our moms that Alice Cooper was thee greatest ever for kids our age (likely freshmen or sophmores in high school -- we're the same age, both born the same year, 1961).  HAHAHA.  So, on the strength of us just having to see this concert, which was a blast and a memory I'll never forget, I got to hang out with Dougie and (his sister/ my other cousin) Stephanie a week or several weeks longer.

And, Red?  If someone points this out to you, wave a hello.  I've thought of you and hope you're doing well.  Oh, and hope you don't mind a few of us "stole" your photo.

-- Robin

p.s. -- funny how songs can have whole different meanings sometimes, eh?  (I hope this clarification is not needed, but fyi we were NEVER "kissing cousins."  Close friends, whatever, but nothing ever physical / romantic that'd be, well.  We weren't.  Laughing now -- he DID like his ladies, however........ Just found that some of the other lyrics fit, not ALL.)

PINK LYRICS:  "Who Knew"

You took my hand
You showed me how
You promised me you'd be around
Uh huh
That's right
I took your words
And I believed
In everything
You said to me
Yeah huh
That's right

If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong
I know better
Cause you said forever
And ever
Who knew

Remember when we were such fools
And so convinced and just too cool
Oh no
No no
I wish I could touch you again
I wish I could still call you friend
I'd give anything

When someone said count your blessings now
'fore they're long gone
I guess I just didn't know how
I was all wrong
They knew better
Still you said forever
And ever
Who knew

Yeah yeah
I'll keep you locked in my head
Until we meet again
Until we
Until we meet again
And I won't forget you my friend
What happened

If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong and
That last kiss
I'll cherish
Until we meet again
And time makes
It harder
I wish I could remember
But I keep
Your memory
You visit me in my sleep
My darling
Who knew
My darling
My darling
Who knew
My darling
I miss you
My darling
Who knew
Who knew

Tags: Doug, Dougie, Red

a winter feis, part 2 (update via IM)

Let's see how this "journaling via IM" works for an update. (This daggone keyboard though HURTS my hands..... I pretty much require an ergonomic one.)
Ah, okay, I get the option of adding this to comments, to my journal (I THINK as a NEW?? entry?), or to quit.

Anyway, I got a photo texted to me from Sh, of M and Si. Si's in her solo dress which she's not supposed tobe wearing but it's not my business (she IS looking pretty, they both are). I wonder where M's gold tiara is but hey, she has on her eyeglasses and earrings.
And I waited. Granted, I did other things WHILE waiting. My mom will be pleased I finally tried on the clothes she gave me for Christmas. Almost 4 hours later -- so while walking Daisy, I try calling M via Sh's cell phone. It gets cut off, so I try again and get a voicemail. Sigh, okay. Then, immediately, I get a text message with Si's scores, plus YEAH, they got a 1st in their U13 2-hand, M and Si together.
But, is M's score not yet known (that'd be a surprise), or is she waiting to tell me personally, why not just call? Ends up, M's score and info about it was cut off. It'd been sent to Ma first, then forwarded to me after I called, so? At the time, I didn't know this, and textd back congrats to Si, and that I'm eager to talk w/ M including about how M did when she hears.
Well, Si DID do well -- remember, she's 5.5 years old, in her 2nd year of Irish stepdancing, and won first place in a novice level U7 hornpipe (i.e., hard shoe even, not even in soft shoe). She also got 2nd in her U7 novice slip jig (soft shoe). M called me later, they still at the hotel but not in the room, and I also talked briefly to Si. Si is THRILLED, and should be. (And, now she CAN wear the dress.) M, well, she had a good time.
Or, I think so. She feels okay about it I think, disappointed sure, but okay, and enjoyed the feis? M says she got right the things that she normally doesn't, and that she wobbled (on her toes) RIGHT as the judge was looking closely at her. Toes are NOT M's strong point. Arch and turnout -- definitely, but not toestands depending. One leg is longer than the other but I don't know if that has any relation to this or not. She had 24 dancers in her group, registered, anyway. I don't know, Mom, they just
kept coming up. She said that the photographer was there (ah, they got my request! great), and so on eFeis or elsewhere later, we'll figure out the competitor #'s with the faces. Many were from the Mid-America region, but really they flew and drove in from all over, Florida, New York, and west.
We talked about the other dancers -- I didn't realize, but this was "Friends" FIRST FEIS! How exciting, and she got a 3rd and a 4th (out of, hmm, 18-28 dancers depending which dance). Another friend DID get HER last 1st to move up to prelim champ (she also registered for all 4 main dances, while M registered for just the one).
I told M that I was concerned that being signed up for just the one dance may make her too worried. "Yeah...." so I guess her Friend there and all didn't overcome all her worries. I told M that this means she can still do Treble Reel's at the Prizewinner level, too (she wasn't registered ror TR this time, and she and I both love them for her). Ma had said to focus on the one dance and had reasons. We'll see for next time, though. M was excited for her friend who DID get her last first -- "Mom, can you
post that on the message board?" Ha, I had intended to already. I told M I was proud of her for helping out with the little ones on the stages, counting out their begining beats for them. Not clear howshe got asked to be a stage helper, but shrug, she's good at it so why not.
I think it's still better for M than not going. She's a good sport, and a great kid:) I"m real proud of her.
I've looked some at the 2008 feis schedule. Some I can't tell in part as I'm not sure how the weekends will fall (depends upon how we interpret Spring Break, but summer is set). There's not a rush. I'm told by someone else that Ma is thinking of not having dancers at their level feis again until May. Not that M nor I have been told that, but that's alright. There aren't any local enoughbefore then, and I don't have traveling money. They will be doing a lot of drills in their one class right now.
It's all good. M certainly had a better day today than if she'd stayed home and Si went, like last year. And she got to see Friend and other Friend, and DANCE, etc. She'll see her aunt tomorrow and they'll do C's family Christmas in Baltimore. About a 10 minute call, and some with Si, cuz I had to congratulate her:) but I'm real glad to talk with M, that today was still decent.

a winter feis (part 1)

She might be dancingNOW. (add what listening to)
I poured over the "electronic program" earlier today and was happy to see that one of M's friends is there at this feis, also. This friend likes to feis, but doesn't get to very often, so it's a treat. Only 9 from her school at this one.
M is there with Si, and Sh. Not clear if C also went. He typically doesn't; it really is NOT his thing nor desire. That's okay. M is likely feeling more confident w/out him around, actually. She can nail this, depending. As I told M, she dances at a champion level, TCRG Ma knows this, M just needs to show it. Mostly, I want her to feel good about how she did, but having confidence going in can make or break not only her placement, but how she feels.
M has gotten repeated 1sts in her other dances, and 2nds in her TJ. Oh, M, I pray right now, Dear Lord, please be with M. Have her feel your spirit, have her feel great and dance with her heart.

Admittedly, if she also gets first? Then she will be moved up to preliminary championship level.
Ma recommended that M only sign up for THIS dance this time, her Treble Jig. She also recommended having a private lesson, just to see. M felt that did help. * Captain added the star instead of going into the dresser drawer; Tinkerbell hangs over the monitor. In that lesson, Ma told M to focus more. Hmmm, M HAS lost her drive lately. Ma is thinking socializing in class, while I was thinking Oireachtas and schoolwork and other distractions. M's been going over her dances intuitively again throughout
the day and nights. Okay, is she up NOW, or is it now over??? I don't know.
She can just shine, and smile so bright, and just WOW. "Why don't I see you dance like this in class?" Well, M lost her focus I guess. lol I hope she's shining now, feeling great. I agree with Ma, who said, "I don't care how they place. I just want them to dance well." Or something like that for the second sentence. That she and the other TCRG's watch, and say, what school is s/he from?
So Sh this year brought M along with Si. They danced two figures dances in the a.m. Friend's mom seemed surprised for my call, but happy to relay info. She didn't know how they did in figures (that's okay, I don't really care as long as they enjoyed themselves and there were no mishaps). Seems Friend is doing well today! YEAH. She HAS been looking good, but doesn't get to feis much to move up, competitively speaking.
Several on their stage, stage 5, Si's competition, Friend's competition which was just about to start, another dancer from their school's competition, then M's. Friend's mom said something about M's big dance. I relayed how I hope that wasn't making M nervous. Friend and M have been practicing (and, seemingly, hanging out YEAH I'm so glad). Also, M's been helping on stages, counting out beats for the little ones. Ah, this is great, also. M CAN shine and feel good.
We didn't even talk a full 2 minutes, Friend's mom and I, but I'm glad for it (and she was happy to relay the info, I think she enjoyed "the assembly line" of how the stages were running, and the camarderie for her daughter). Perhaps M's on NOW, instead, gosh, hard to predict for certain. M will know I called, and she's"supposed" to call me later, also.
I"m pleased to hear that she's seemingly enjoying herself. If she also gets first? WOW. If not? Well, hopefully she will, of course, how exciting would that be, and the feis photographer was asking for requests, so I e-mailed a request in. Hate missing this (MANY hours away). Still, it sounds as if it just might make for a great ending to an overall good feising year. happy new year, all. (Still hoping!!!_
Happy new year, all. Christmas was, well, an experience (in a good way), which is for another post. M will be with me this year for the BIGGGG St. Pat's parade where she can wear her solo dress and dance on the flat bed, and have the school party after. Sounds as if she's already invited school friends to come and watch ha. (C has never taken her, not even last year with Si dancing, also.) I hope to get back to dancing myself again. I need that. May it be a good year in all ways possible for all of u
okay, only 33 minutes since I talked w/ Friend's mother. Are they done??? At least I know something, while I await, eagerly, to hear.... my cinderella:)

TRYING to keep up!

I can't keep up.  With some things, yes.  Some, no.

Christmas time is always extra busy.  I LOVE Christmas!  I miss Advent at my church, yet, I feel conflicted about ever returning there (and had intended to visit another church yesterday yet M needed more sleep and I was trying to get stuff done, even while I should find more time for Christ, too).  We will go to Christmas Eve services, however.  We love it there.  We'll likely go with my mother/stepfather to services at their newer church, too, but there is nothing quite like how the magic of Christmas spirit is at our church.

I'm so behind, even on the two, yes only two, Christmas cards I'd intended to mail out.  After I got over the nice but too unrealistic idea that I'd send Christmas cards out to everyone who'd expressed greetings of some fashion or another when my father passed.  Yeah right, I could hardly find cards I liked this year, and I've not gotten cards out but minimally ANY year since M's birth.

The third Christmas card had to wait until after my mom's December birthday (Happy Birthday, Mom!!!).  I had intended to bake her a cake, then buy a really great tasting one I'd gotten to sample, get her flowers plus gifts.  Nicely, we postponed thee celebration to later this week when her favorite restaurant is open.  We had her birthday card in plenty of time, somehow, and one gift.  I had her SRO 2007 sweatshirt all folded and ready to bring her, forgot it.  (She was polite in her annoyance at that.  Is she grasping the stress I've been under and trying to dissipate, or was she just happy from church, and to see M again?  I actually enjoyed our visit yesterday, and was glad to talk some with Bob, too.)

M complained about her selection of clean pants (jeans or cords) on Friday.  She who complains, gets to start doing more laundry!  Hehe.  She had the singing portion of her Cinderella auditions, and wanted to look nice (she did), the reading audition the day before.  Yeah, okay, she's also grown more, and one pair had a zipper break.  I did pick her up two pairs on Friday lunchtime, that sigh, do NOT fit and need returning now.  M's grown too tall for the older girls section, and isn't quite yet tall enough for some pants selections in the junior selections. 

We were also both hormonal oh joy we're in synch now.

The previous weekend, with M away, I slept Saturday; it felt good to not interact with the world and regroup.  I joked with my aunt that what I wanted for Christmas was a way to keep the water in the tub warm for as long as I wanted.  Sunday, though, I started missing Dad and M, and feeling overwhelmed with what I had to catch up on from having been away the previous weekend and then a full week of, well, work and M's school and schoolwork.  I didn't get laundry or other things done I'd intended.  I'm allowed a day of the duldrums just gosh, I don't have the time for that!

I did make it out to Target that Sunday evening, which felt almost as if I was intruding on the workers restocking and straightening the store.  Glad I got out in fresh air (more rain), without too many people.  We had gifts needed and likely pet food.  My dance group's fantastic Christmas party was last week, with singing of carols and a fun gift exchange.  It's NOT to be missed.  It was such a struggle to get organized sufficiently to GET to, but as always was well worth it (gifts, food, clothes! where ARE my Christmas sweaters/ turtlenecks I still don't know).

Since before our trip to Atlanta, we've been re-looking at "the next 4 years," aka, high school options.  Admittedly, I've been researching that for years.  I even spent a lot of time this past weekend talking with parents, even though the decision time for applying for magnet school programs is gone.  (At least I know we're not moving into Dad's house, a different high school district, nor are we going private school.)  Still, this was too important of an overall decision, some of M's input was not realistic to truly consider and I'd explain to her why, and some were really good points I had to consider.  I felt so behind and rushed this fall, so caught up in my father's things and the other details of M's current schooling (what good points DOES the "annoying" boy have for affirmations they'll all get, what gift for Toys for Tots should she bring, how is alleluia spelled and why does the ending differ from the word hallelujah, papers and science seminar on, ironically, adolescent brain development and sleep requirements, and what cereals for her presentation, and fantasy football continuing, and the really great detailed job she's doing on her mermaid marionette along with it's weekly development).  FYI --

We DID decide, in time, to NOT have her apply for ANY of the great public high school magnet programs (ends up, she only had an interest in the one -- she herself tried to shadow someone a year ago but they somehow won't let people visit the programs until after applying, huh?).  I was a bit disappointed, yet her home high school is not only close by, it is a good school.  Putting pressure on my ADD child to finish her homework, even non-challenging homework, within the time limits non-ADD children can, is not realistic.  Having her get up almost 2 hours earlier than currently, to catch a bus to get to the other high school with the International Baccauleaurate (sp!) program, 5 days a week, or drive that much further from her dad's home on those mornings, would have her TOO sleep deprived.  It's not realistic.  Don't think I haven't been talking with teachers and parents and students THERE these past several years, also.  Last? week's The Washington Post (or Gazette but I think "the" Post), showed details of The Challenge Index.  Tests and rankings cannot and do not show the entire pros or cons of a school.  I'm still pleased.  M's home high school is still within the top 3-5% of high schools in the NATION for percentage of students / # of IB and AP tests taken.  It has a great drama department she's already interested in, good AP programs, an equestrian club, sports and such, knows some others who will attend just likely not in the same classes, right HERE.  Her current principal agrees with me on my assessment, of the sleep requirement and the home high school, pointing out a Ulysses or Oddyseey program, something.  This principal knows M well.  M will do fine, nah, she'll do GREAT!

We used to read a Christmas book nightly, listen to Christmas cd's, some in particular one that follows along with a book, and/or sing carols before M went to sleep.  I need to re-institute some of that.  At least she's had an Advent calendar up, and she decorated a tree with lights and garland and plastic ornaments (safer with the cats).  I found the wreath holder ha.  The season is here NOW, it's both hard to face this year, and something I wish to get absorbed into.

So much of my dad's stuff to deal with. 

Sometimes, life itself is a struggle. 

An ADD example of M's:  she had a bit second draft literary analysis paper due today on the book Secret Life of Bees.  She worked on that last Wednesday and last Thursday, me worried as it was originally due last Friday.  M thought she told me it was changed to today.  After hours spent on that, she remembers she needs to do something for FRIDAY.  Friday day, M works more on her re-write.  I am so glad that she's dedicated and wants to stay on top of her homework and do well with it.  At the end of the day, she'll go to the "board," and verify what school work she has the following day or upcoming, and make sure she brings home those folders / schoolbooks.  Except Friday, she'd put her paper back in her locker, not enough time to get it into her folder, so it was left in her locker.  Nicely, "the barn" is co-located, and someone had a key, and she got her paper.  We DID have what she wrote up to Thursday night electronically, yet she'd made a lot of changes since.  Earlier last week, M had a retake of her Algebra test (hoping to get that A instead of the solid B).  She KNEW what to do, she MEANT to do it, but she simply forgot to go back and shade in a quadrant.  Oy.

I'm going off on a tangent.  AH, well.  Rambling, I know. 

The power was out at my mom's last night, but is on now.  The winds were up to 50 mph.  The weather's been a factor lately in many lives, and I've wanted to write something about that.

And about the other corn-syrup eggnogs we found and taste-tested. 

And the movie, p.s. I love you -- great movie, btw!!!  M danced at a preview / premiere showing of it one night last week, then we were invited to stay and watch it.  It's not released officially until December 21st.  "We laughed, we cried," said another dance parent.  Three great men in it oh yeah that was nice to see, admittedly.  Hillary (Hilary?) Swank? is great.  It's not as cutesy lighthearted as the previews make it seem.  It IS okay for almost 13-year olds, except perhaps the quite backside shot of the cute guy from Grey's Anatomy whose character had been the fiance of Katherine Hiegl's (sp) character.  Anyway, in some ways, it's a primer on how to grieve, and move on.  That was helpful for me, who IS moving on while it takes time, too, and that's all okay.

E-mails?  Alerts?  Ha.  I MEAN to.  I like staying in touch with my friends online here.  I'm finding I just cannot like I wish to.  Not right now.  So forgive me if I've missed your journal lately, or your e-mail with a subject line looking like a journal alert. 

I'm way behind.  Sometimes, I feel as if I cannot keep up.  Sometimes my head feels in a vise without the intensity of pain, as if it needs caffeine or something to soak in, and get the neurons or whatever working properly again.   Then I relook at things -- and [take some minute charge] make homemade applesauce, or M made thee really great peppermint bark in a pinch while I waited over an hour to rent a car for the weekend, did I mention mine is dying again??? (even her big crush asked her details on how to make the peppermint bark! while they were otherwise SILENT (sitting apart) in the back seat lol).  I'm getting a handle on important things again, like clean laundry.  And touching base with some.  It's bit of a handle.  I'm trying.  Just forgive me, please, if I don't "get there," and know I'm trying to balance our lives and not struggle TOO much while doing so.  Know that if I've visited and cared about you and your life in the past, I don't care any less now.  IM me if you see me on, and if I have time (as I keep AOL up in the background often), I'd be happy to chat.

Peace:)  

While I have the service station to call and a store to return those not-fitting pants I got for M as I need the money back.........  among other things, but I'm trying to keep the to-do list short enough so that I can accomplish SOMETHING on it!  Really, don't put EVERYTHING on it or it's overwhelming and who knows where to start.  Break it down into smaller things.