M's at a feis, or finishing up one

So I wait, and pray, as I have been most of the day that M does well today.  Well, really I pray that she feels good about how she does today.  (She's SO close to getting that next 1st place and moving into prelim. championships level.  I want her feeling confident.)  I've never not been to a feis when M's been in it.  Sometimes I've been to help out or watch friends when she hasn't been, ironically enough (on weekends she's been with her dad, C, and hence, until last year when Si started feising, M didn't feis if with her dad).

C and I switched weekends, and M and her half-sister, Si, are spending today dancing and feising in the city where C's oldest sister lives.  (That sister has been my favorite, even if I haven't seen her in, hmmm, a LONG time.)  Besides, he's out of town next weekend, and her being with me means she can do a few other things she'll enjoy.  Even if we're missing a great Octoberfest today we usually attend and she felt sad to miss; she's blessed to have options.  C wanted M this weekend for this feis, yet, I think it was just Sh, Si, and M traveling up there yesterday.  Just as well, as C seems to hate the feiseanna themselves, just isn't his thing.  He may have joined them later or today, I really don't know.

So, I wait to hear the scores, not sure if I'll "be allowed" to talk with M at all this weekend (even if we should be allowed open communication).  I'm hoping that someone posts them on the Irish dance message boards.  I think she's ready to redeem herself, after she and I (she says just I) screwed up her schedule for the last one we went to and she missed most of her dances.  I told her that she should go out there and show those Mid-America dancers / girls just how well she does it:)  She says she feels really good about one in a couple weeks.  She seemed happy Friday as she walked with her classmates for an advisor group game time and I dropped off her three bags of gear (one bag per dress, and a "stuff" bag), "That'd be helpful," M responded when I told her I'd also put in her dance shoes.

Some of her groups are split today, i.e., so many competitors in that particular level/age/dance, that it's split into an A and a B group (with winners for each).  Sometimes that's done by birthdate (and M's July bdate sometimes still has her in the older group), sometimes it's alphabetically or computer-generated random.  Sh didn't sign M up for treble reel, but she did sign M up for Prizewinner Light Jig, with only 1 other dancer.  I usually always did, also, until she got her first in Novice light jig, but mostly for more of a "practice" dance, warm her up.  Generally, dancers at the prizewinner level don't dance light jig competitively; it's not one of the "most get a first place in to move up" required dances.  That's fine, though, even with just M and one other competitor (which means a win wouldn't "count," anyway, as a minimum of 5 comeptitors is required).  Light jig was scheduled a bit after her reel, as reel is usually first, and M does a great reel, Daisy's Reel she and TCRG Ma created for M, so M hopefully felt good and ready to go after her reel and light jig, i.e., by her slip jig..........  Then it's on to hard shoes, with treble jig first (then hornpipe).  M somehow didn't practice slip jig at all in class this past week, but she said she did feel good about her treble jig.  Good. 

This feis also has a sibling dance, which I so enjoyed at Celtic Fling feis this summer.  It means that different siblings dance together in a figures dance, from a 2-hand (2-person), up to however many siblings.  (Some feiseanna hold family dances, or parent / child.)  Naturally, Si and M were scheduled for a 2-hand sibling dance.  It originally started just for fun, yet Si is capable of not only executing but memorizing rather complicated steps for a mere 5-year old, and it's really quite good.  They were also scheduled for either a U-13 or U-14 2-hand.

So I'm taking a break from visiting Dad and everything there, and visiting his home with the contractor, waiting for his one Rx to be refilled, and cuddles with Billy or Tinker(bell), and long walks with Daisy and Indie..... I'm so tired, I really could nap.  Yet, depending upon how this feis runs, it could be about done, or M's part done.  If so, and if C joined up which he may have, with his sister maybe also coming to watch and all, he's usually quite anxious to pack up and LEAVE.   (She wasn't registered for either traditional set nor treble reel which are usually at the end of a feis  -- the treble reel, however, being in the mid-america region, has a different unison step at the very end, which a dance.net friend showed M how to do at the recent mid-America feis, and M got 2nd place out of 32 dancers (41 registered)!!!

I did text M this morning (not even sure if her cell phone made it).  I am trying to be patient before calling her (her phone, then I'll try either Sh's or C's).  YAWN. 

I hope she's happy:)  I'm sure she's walking away with SOMETHING, just eager to share it with her.  I miss not being there.  It's okay, though; she knew I wouldn't be.  Still.  I wanna know; I wanna talk with her!  lol  (Besides, she may have found another "striking" solo dress she wants to tell me about.  She found one at the last feis that Ma says looks striking on M, and the current owners mother and I both agree.)  :)

And it's more fun than paying bills, Dads or mine.  Or laundry (his, mine, M's).  And worrying so as he's fighting some bug or something right now (he'll be alright just ugh).  Decisions, even about his house. 

UPDATE:  (Sunday)

 

I DID get to talk with M! which is great, even if she had a full audience there with her (C, Sh, and Si).  She didn't know I'd tried to call her, but she said she called to let me know how things had gone:)  I'm glad.

 

I had an update in here written last night in my yawning time.  Then I kept thinking about it, and wanted to re-write it earlier today.  Too busy a day.  Recently, I finally got to check the scores online, and M's not even listed for one dance, so something is way wrong there as in the judges scores didn't even get recorded for her (she could have even gotten first for all we know if the judges scores didn't come through).  Also, I know it's screwed up for one of her other dances (reel) I'm sure.  I can understand not doing well for wahtever reason, from not practicing enough, to different step expectations in a different region, to hunger or family whatever (not saying she was hungry or under any duress), but this is obviously incorrect......  So, full update will wait. 

 

I do know that M got a first in her PW light jig (as did Si. Si danced with 9 dancers total so hers counts to move her up to Prizewinner in her light jig; Si's goal was to earn Prizewinner so that she could earn the right to wear her solo dress!).  They got a first in their U13 2-hand (by a good margin of a score, too), and third in their same 2-hand in the entry for sibling dance.  M says that the boy and sister who won first in the 2-hand (by large margin!) were really good, and that he won firsts and is going to his Oireachtas (approximately U9).  So, for M, two firsts and a third are good:)

 

Sh didn't get M entered into M's treble jig, the dance she needed and had worked on this past week.  I don't get that (and M had an audience while talking to me, remember, so she couldn't say much about it yet I know she was really disappointed "what's the point," (M said) even if she thought overall the day was okay and somewhat fun, and I acted neutral yanno, had to, and am glad if she overall had fun). 

 

The other dance M needs, her slip jig, is the one she didn't have her scores recorded for, argh.  I wrote Sh recently to, basically, ask if she'd check into it or if she'd let me (as Sh registered M, or else of course I'd just do it).  This may require the feis committee to go back and examine the handwritten judges notes and pages, but, if the score didn't get recorded, it needs to be, so that it can be put in with the other scores and M can know how she placed.  Argh, but, we'll see!

 

In trying to call M Saturday afternoon, I also tried the hotel.  The hotel said that Sh had been the one registered (fine, whomever, Sh or C), but that they had checked out earlier that day / Saturday.  C never gave me address / # info for where they stayed Saturday night as court ordered (and I give the same to him, btw, and I believe I should).  M said they'd be staying at his oldest sister's, the one who lives in/near that city, but other than knowing her sufficiently to think she likely kept her maiden name, I don't even know her current last name nor her address/#.  Shaking my head!  I could point that out to him, but don't wish any conflict over finding out M's actual placement in the slip jig........  plus he hasn't paid for a summer camp for M he was to pay for.  As Doug said earlier today, "I don't need any more drama right now." 

 

M said that the feis was crowded, but the rooms were spread out well.  We talked of solo dresses we'd seen in the past (including one she considered at Celtic Fling Feis but passed on, now being worn by a dancer in her competitions).  C's sister / brother-in-law watched the girls dance their two figures dances in the a.m. (but that was all), and not sure when C joined.  I'm glad she worked some on her Monday project homework this past week, even missing Grey's Anatomy for it, and hopefully she's enjoying the weekend overall.

 

I'm still tired, trying not to feel wiped out, will go back to dad's momentarily (a lot of staying with him as I think he's sick, and will contact his doctor tomorrow/ Monday.  He'd been doing so great that his Rn, his occupational therapist, and his physical therapist all discharged him as not needing their care).  Ciao. 

 

"And, if you get a chance to sit it our or dance, I hope you dance.:)  "

 

UPDATE to the UPDATE (10/19/2007):   Yeah, I wrote updates twice, deleting the more upbeat one I'd written Saturday night (perhaps I should have but shrug, I did), and sorry to ahve this one (above) with such negative tones (which perhaps I should also delete, I don't know).  I was quite wiped, and I was worried about my father, and in attempting to sleep Saturday night, my excitment in "being allowed" to talk w/ M, altered into thinking through the nuances of what she was saying "between the lines" with an audience.  Then I couldn't find her scores online...... I DO think that M had fun at this feis, which is most important (she also ran into my friend, SO there and his youngest daughter who Irish stepdances).  I DO think she was quite disappointed not to be registered for her treble jig.  She said that most of the dancers were going on to another feis that next day which was within short distance.

 

Her slipjig score didn't even show, at all, for the feis tabulating website which was posting the results (sans comments).  It was a split competition, but neither A nor B group had her listed at ALL.  I figured out that's why she didn't see herself as placing.  I wrote Sh, asking "respectfully" if she'd check or if she'd allow me to.  It doesn't happen often, but I figured that the judges scoresheets being tabulated by the feis committee volunteers had over looked / skipped over M's score/any comments when they posted results.  (This is all done by hand, judges write on their scoresheets the competitor's #, then the score, then there's a space for comments but comments are optional.  Often quite useful, but optional.)  Sh never did respond to me.  She did, however, contact the committee, and after M's overnight with them a couple nights later, returned home with her new results page with her new score.

 

M got her first place in Prizewinner Slip Jig!  YEAH YEAH YEAH M :)   She doesn't know if she'll get sent her trophy or not (she should, but?).  She said she'd just use her first place award for Prizewinner light jig as her slip jig, if need be.  Now that M's score is included with the others in her competition, we can tell that she actually tied for first place.  (I would think that if it was not a tie, the previous first place winner would not have to relinquish her award, physical trophy or otherwise, at the later date, but I don't know.)  This means that not only does M have her first place in a soft shoe (reel), and a first place in a hard shoe (hornpipe), which qualified M previously for preliminary championship level, BUT, as TCRG Ma requires a first in all four ofthe main dances (so she only has treble jig left, and has gotten 2nds in that several times, and perhaps would have gotten first at this feis in treble jig, but, there are other feiseanna and Ma is just so happy and proud for M, life goes on.)

 

 

 

Tags: Irish step dancing, feiseanna, feis, 2-hand figures dancing

"YYYEEEEEEEEEESSSSS!!!"

"YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!"  

M was less ambigious about her feelings about the new Starbuck's opening a block from our home.

I did let her get something not terribly caffeinated (homework wouldn't require that much focus and attention to require self-medicating her ADD).  Hot white chocolate.  I got an overpriced fruit and yogurt (over 3x what McD's charges next door, while admittedly a lot bigger, too, and probably fresher).  Such nice barristas, eager to welcome their new regulars to their fresh, new store, eager to help and share.

I picked up the iTunes song of the day (yesterdays was Bob Dylan, whom M didn't recall knowing but oh well).  I didn't find Paul McCartney's newest cd which this company had been sponsoring or promoting a lot this summer that I still wish to buy.

M checked out the seats in the "lounge" area, while I noticed a few sets of outlets.  She will, ultimately, find it useful to have a wifi area (ha, I have a clue what that means now!) for her laptop Grandma got her, for homework of course (lol, theoretically).  She didn't find the seats quite squishy enough.  I reminded her it JUST opened.  Ever the artist, she liked their pattern and colors.

We did NOT go this morning.  Almost out of my Oregon's Own Chai Tea mix, the calcium-fortified orange juice and veggie sausages worked just fine for our breakfast:)  

That Matchbox Twenty cd, Exile from Mainstreet, played in the background and then in my car, too.  What a fantastic cd, as if a greatest hits album (um, cd), plus 6 new songs, and their big hits are really good ones.  M and I sang, "I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell......." enroute to her school.  It was one of our very favorites some years back.  It starts off with the very powerful heart racing song, "How Far We've Come," and ends with a great song I've always loved, "Bright Lights."  Mine came with a "MVI DVD," also with lots of cool stuff we haven't looked at, all on sale (Target).

Dad normally makes his coffee (or sugar-free hot chocolate) himself but I was there earlier and he up a bit later, still having his breakfast and morning pills.  Somehow, making Dad his instant coffee this morning, black, no milk, no sugar, one teaspoon for one coffee cup size, just seemed normal.   Even if I myself don't drinkcoffee (as I don't like the taste). 

Wonder if he'd like their pumpkin scone?  Hmmm, not sure, but last night, M noted that this store has sandwiches, so they'd have a way to heat up that tempting scone I did not get.  How do these kids grow up so Starbuck's literate?  lol  (I know it's that she goes often with her father, but still.)  At least, for right now, we still enjoy SOME of the same music:)

Tags: Starbuck's, Matchbox Twenty

We have a Starbuck's

We have a Starbuck's now.  I'm not sure if that's a good thing, or a bad thing. 

I actually enjoy the alternatives out there.  Independently-owned coffee cafes have thee most charm and good options without me having to learn a fake language just to order.  (If I let little things get to me, it'd really annoy me that Starbuck's tall isn't, well, tall, and grande doesn't really mean grand which in my mind, both equate to "large."  What the heck vente is, I do NOT care to know, yanno?  Speak any language, or make sense, please don't butcher known languages.)  Okay, vent over.  Maybe that's what a vente is for hehe.  I order in small, medium, and large.  Seriously.  Thing is, I DO order, and I DO enjoy, even if it's usually not coffee but another drink (being that I don't like coffee), a bit to eat, peruse the music and gift selections, and well, M will love this......  [Update: it's "venti."  Who'd have known.]

By "we have a Starbuck's now," I mean, M and I now have a Starbuck's coffee cafe within a block from our home.  Not that we required one; there are now 13 total Starbuck's within 5 miles from my home, per their own website, with another two scheduled to open soon, 15 total within 5 miles.  Two of these are in DIRECT route from my home to my office 3 miles away, along with, direct route, a Dunkin Donuts, a Panera Bread, and a great independently-owned coffee shop I'd name but then I'd be pinpointing my location.  There are two Border's book stores with, of course, cafes, on opposite ends of my city, not too far from the two Target's with Starbuck's inside (one with two other Starbuck's in the shopping area? not within 5 miles of me, though), and perhaps some year, we'll get a Caribou Coffee, or Seattle's Best.  There's a Starbuck's on thee other side of where M's school is. 

But THIS one, will be "ours."  It's a block from us, within dog-walking distance.  Easily enroute TO M's school.  I saw the sign on the street and drove around "our" shopping center twice on separate days and couldn't find it.  Most likely, I could have simply followed the high schoolers after their dismissal from classes, but I think that'd be a bit weird. 

Today at lunch, I got my $4.08 splurge of a sandwich (I rarely eat out) at a sandwich shop.  I hadn't gotten myself anything to drink, figuring I had drinks at home so I shouldn't spend the money for one.  Then I spied it, there on the corner, taking up space that had been owned by another store still there butapparently smaller now.  I'll just drive by, I could "welcome" it to the neighborhood, get myselfa drink, splurge a bit more on this gorgeously beautiful day.  I was tempted.  Nah, let me wait until M's home, see if we get the new Matchbox Twenty cd tonight or not, maybe I'll let her get something from Starbuck's in the morning.  After walking Daisy, I still yearned for some rich tasting, caffeinated drink.  I made myself a cold chait tea latte, knowing I prefer this taste over theirs.

I've been pondering an entry about the "town" of Clarksburg, how it's grown so since I lived there (1978-80?? give or take on both ends of that), and how laughable a recent ad is for Clarksburg with two boys walking in those "farmer" jean jumpers that I'm not even sure the farmers then were wearing, never mind those too-high to be legal, town-home kids are likely to be wearing.....  how it's so built up here, how I'd be happy to still see deer SAFELY darting across the roads (not streets) with their small families.  I do mean Frederick Road (355), not even Stringtown Road where I lived that was a ROAD then, and farmland for miles just across the street.  And now we get yet another chain coffee shop this close to me (not in Clarksburg, but, to me it's analogous as thee entire upcounty has grown tremendously in these decades).   I once read an article saying that my current city had finally "arrived," as it now offered botox.  HA, I gagged on that one, preferring the pre-botox days, frankly.

And, yet, this new Starbuck's of ours?  It's not only in dog-walking distance, it's only a stone's throw from one of my banks.  This may be dangerous. 

Tags: Starbuck's, coffee cafes, Clarksburg

After the rain, is sun.

I wait for Boss to return from his meeting.  I'd picked up a delicious smelling peach praline pie for his birthday today from an Amish market not too terribly far away.  It was still warm even. 

The sky is blue now, baby blue, with big billowy white clouds and some remaining splotches of gray.  It felt nice to feel the breeze through my jacket and the sun on my face.

Last night, walking Daisy, the wind was picking up and she was on edge.  I looked up.  The clouds were moving fast, dark gray flat fat clouds ready to storm down upon us.  She'd bark or how at every distant thunderclap sound throughout the early part of the night.  (I did get in the 'season premieres" of both Grey's Anatomy and Big Shot, just happenstance as I hadn't turned on the television for myself in months, I think.  "Eh" to Big Shot, which is an improvement over the way lame Men in Trees, and Grey's Anatomy wouldn't have hooked me if I hadn't already absorbed myself into the story line last year.)  Daisy asked to go back out, then panicked some again.  The storm really wasn't too bad, and I got her to pee in her "safe spot" before letting her race back in, ears washed off and ready for bed.

By morning, ah, light rain now.  I'd finally found some time, not driving not racing from this to that and do ten other things, but to think, to feel.  To feel a lot of what I've been stoic about lately, not dealing with, pushing away.  Missing M, feeling badly about the feis (got screwed up) last weekend, and, well, my dear really good friend for years who basically not only ditched on me last minute, which we talked about and I understand his viewpoint even if not agreeing with it, but then well, not even following through.  I've lost my respect for him; I feel done.  With that pain, with repeating that pain / situation with anyone else, with him even as a dear good friend (we were not dating).  The mystique has been diffused.

So we walked in the rain with no coat on.  I could smell the wet grass and earth.  I love the feel of a light rain on my face and skin and hair.  No allergy symptons in the rain, oh yeah, M won't be having allergy trouble today, than, either.  A little girls was wearing a purple rainslicker and a colorful backpack.  I pick up a perfect leaf of yellow and reds, smiling to recall the Talbot's fall collection ad where a woman with hair similar to mine had taken time out, not to "smell the roses," but to pick up a leaf.  The rain felt great.

I have more sensory perceptors in my skin per square inch than anyone else in my high school science class (re-tested as well, etc.), by quite a bit.  I seem to be more sensitive and aware of sensory-related items than other people do, perceive things just as strongly or intensely yet with less sensory input.  Those car noises when someone unlocks, or locks, their car remotely really jolts me, for one thing; I have to be very out of it in a darkened room for me to not wake up when the sun does.  A light rain on my skin in good temperature is very refreshing for me.  I like rain and water and such, anyway, but still.  I can get overloaded easily, to the extent that some would refer to it as having sensory issues.  Hmm, compared with others, yes, at least with some things. 

This can mean that I appear to not emote, or appear to not care sufficiently.  Sometimes, sure, it's not a big deal thing, so who cares.  I do believe that some people get all caught up with the little stuff that really does not matter, relax, chill out.  More so, though, if it's something noteworthy and I don't react strongly, it's likely that I'm overwhelmed, care and feel it perhaps too much, so that I've had to push some of the images and thoughts of it away some, deal with it an hour from now, or a day, break it down, prepare myself first.  Granted, during an emergency or crisis, I just deal and do what's needed, focusing on what can and can't be done, and what should and shouldn't be done, bam, bam, road block how do we go around, okay, let's go, done.  Most things in life, sure, I can deal.  I don't know how to explain this in any way that makes sense. 

I know when one of my girlfriends cherrily asked me on Monday (or was it Tuesday?) all about our fun time out of town, and yes, it was great to get away with M, who said when we both flopped down on the bed there, "I have no obligation to this hotel."  We laughed.  She meant "objection."  Sunday was thee best of the days there.  But my friend was not, well, there, and we'd screwed up reading the signs at the feis to the point that M actually missed half her dances.  All the good and the not good and preparing M for her trip, I couldn't face getting into it with her.  Besides, her real interest is always the dating angle, and even explaining to her that I"m friends and not dating someone is a pain.  It would hurt to talk intensely about it right then.

I started feeling a bit nauseous one time when I tried to read all of the various sensory issue descriptions Amy (journey with Sam) had sent me.  I am blessed to not have issues that he has (a whole slew of things, and severely so).  What a struggle it must be for him (and, of course, her in raising him and his brothers).  I am essentially a functioning, socialized, "normal" adult (even if I'vd missed social cues at times so now I search them out).  I understand him liking to sleep under his weighted blanket.  I can imagine the comfort it'd impart, and enjoy blankets and my cats, myself.  And colors.  M and I are both very visual, yet I know I learn best "kinetically," (in lab classes and dancing workshops, most anything), and she may as well but I'm not positive.  We all have our strengths and weaknesses. 

"Society" can be too overwhelming.  (I know some things I need to refrain from, Dave and Busters is a bit much for me, and emotionally/ visually such as avoiding the holocaust videos that Guido shared, as I get nightmares, and even at times, the Wednesday Heros that Kathi posts cuz I see the sweet face and fear, oh Lord, did this boy die, too?)  Let the more subtle, glorious natural sensory stimulators be enjoyed.  I like those best sometimes:)

I don't even know if anything I've written here makes any sense to a reader; I'm trying to comprehend it for myself even.  Maybe as my life eases some, that'll help.  Dad and M both more in routines and I'm not keeping us out 2.5 hours later one night for me to also take an Irish step dance class, but going HOME, to Daisy and for us.  Maybe that's part of it, too, sometimes, for the smaller things, anyway.  (I felt as if on remote some of the days going through the court crap with C a few years back, trying to focus on M, instead.)  I like to be open to feeling, to living.  Sometimes I have to just balance it out, in ways different from how many others do.

And by now?  Boss came down, looked at the pie then realized it had a big blue candle in it.  Uh-hoh.  I teased him, "Would you prefer to celebrate NEXT year's birthday, or this year's?"  It's a big one next year.  That was expectionally good tasting pie, too, with fresh peaches that just, ummm.

 

Tags: senses, rain, sensory issues

thinking of M

I think of M.  The air last night was soft, as in warm enough yet not hot, and just humid enough but not drenching or feeling like a wall one slams into, but gentle, soft.  The moon was full, as if a gold coin hanging there in the night sky.

I'd pulled up the weather forecast for where she and her classmates are.  Rain for today, 50% chance, oh, and some rain last night, oh, good, they'd only predicted 15% chance for last night.  I run through my mind what she packed for rain gear, including a compact poncho.  A warm rain, high's still in the 80's F.  Then I had to smile, she wasn't camping last night, just the night before, their first night out.  Last night and tonight, they are in cabins or lodges, joining with another intermediate-level Montessori class.  How exciting, really.  Only so many Montessori schools in the nation go up to the Intermediate level, and M's never met other Montessori students outside of her own school (and her primary school which only went up through primary, i.e., preschool through Kindergarten).

Under that full orange-tinted moon and the soft air, was this the night they were listening to a folk band, and had folk dancing?  I'd wondered if some would make fun, particularly the boys.  M said, "No, though J asked if there'd be a banjo."  She didn't seem to realize that the style of dance she now focuses on (Irish dancing, both set and step dancing), is a type of folk dance.  LOL.  They'll all have fun.

Programs there include a geologic hike to "the" falls, salamander monitoring (oh, a bit of misty rain shouldn't hamper THAT), monarch butterfly monitoring, orienteering, weather observing and recording, and I forget what else. 

I miss her while I'm real happy she has such an opportunity.  I buy frozen edamame as we were out when she asked for my "pasta and edamame" (with shredded parmesan cheese) for dinner Monday night.  I think of this past weekend and feis, and upcoming ones.  Daisy sniffs around my vehicle after I get home (and let her outside), to check if M's come home, too.  I still didn't make it to my own dance class this week, which I've missed all semester just busy with Dad and M and the pets.  I had time to read part of the newspaper this morning, with Liberty and Indie and Daisy, as I'm not taking M to school (still on to Dad's temporary place before work).  And I check the weather.

This morning's forecast for M's site is only 45% chance of rain there, with percipitation not expected to get more than something like 1/4 inch of rain in an hour.  Pffft, they'll be fine:)  Only a chance of heavier thunderstorms.  Maybe that'll only come after they're sleeping tonight. 

I actually have a lunchbreak for me today.  Typically it's more along the lines of walking Daisy and feeding everyone, driving to M's school to drop off riding pants as we didn't know she'd have a makeup lesson that afternoon until after I'd taken her to school, while on the phone with AOL as I couldn't get AOL to "take" my change of payment credit card as my main one had a security issue, driving through a not horrible place for lunch for Dad and bringing it to him, or shopping for him or spending all of lunch with him, or whatever.  Today, I went by Border's to check out more specific definitions of autism and asperger's syndrome.  I saw a magazine, Bethesda, with an article on "Girls with ADHD."  Of course, I forgot all about what I'd gone there for, and skim-read this article.  Towards the end of the article, the last name of a doctor was mentioned along with a program to assist those with ADD/ADHD, so I had to go back through the middle of the article until I found her first name.  I wrote that down with the idea that perhaps I'll look her up for M.  I DO believe that this article described both M and me. 

Then I scanned other magazines.  In the midst of Playboys and other "men's" magazines, I noticed there was no Playgirl.  I hadn't planned to buy a copy, but I wonder if there isn't sufficient interest to also carry Playgirl, or?  There was a whole area for "women's issues," which seemed to include health and fashion, which I bypassed.  Vegetarian Times seemed intriguing, until I realized I'd never actually use these (or other) recipes.  I did enjoy the quick article on Chrissie Hynde that was included.

The barrista recommended the Giant Peach tazo tea (man on man I can taste why), and I wonder if M would like it.  She loves peaches, or, used to. 

Here, it hasn't rained today.  We could use it; I could feel some level of moisture in the air this morning, but not so much at lunchtime, and no rain.  There, where M is?  Primarily, I know she's enjoying being with friends (and others), some new friends, learning and doing new things in a new environment.  Happy autumn:)

13-year olds (plaid pants and hiding behind tshirts)

The first school year gathering is an open house and picnic.  M was all excited, planning out her attire just as intently as for the first day of school.  Last year, her class had school that day, as their fall trip started on the next day, on what would have been their first day of school.  Few from M's class showed this year, how disappointing.  J and two of his sisters came, though, and I got a nice shot of M, J, and J's one sister / friends with M.  Nicely, that night, L and M got together for an ice cream and 2-hand practice (then M worked to teach me some beginning Irish step dance steps, in preparation for the class I tried out but won't work, M being both very patient and amused).

I thought M and J were paired as a team for fantasy football, but seems J was simply helping her out with information on the players to chose from.  "Mom, Mr. L says that girls are statistically better at fantasy football as they focus more on abilities and not on personal preferences."  I told Mr. L that M's actually asking me for the sports section of The Washington Post, and once wanted to watch television news for the sports.  "I did pick the one year when there are no football fans in the class."  Not sure that's a big hindrance.

Then J told M that J had thee same green plaid pants.  Md, J, and M, were to all wear plaid pants the next day, M and J texting, that night and the next morning.  "M, J's mother is probably leaving to drive them to school already, why don't you just call him?"  "Mom, no one calls any more."  Except then she calld Md, who changed from her red shirt so she could coordinate properly with plaid pants M would bring in for her.  Except the ones M wore were too short for school code, combined with a class meeting on said rules (some girls were showing up in sofee's), so M changed into the ones brought for Md, so at least she and J could coordinate.

Another night, J calls M, asking if she could come to a pool party at his house the next Thursday.  "Mom, can I go to J's house next Thursday?"  "Thursday?"  "Yeah, we have off school."  "Oh, right.  Sure.  What for?"  "I'll tell you in a minute."  J ends up asking M to not tell anyone else as he hasn't called said anything to anyone else yet.  A handful of youth went, and J's mother home, all active kids swimming and scootering and just having fun (as we left, J was sitting down low on his scooter, Md and school friend L and girl J were around, plus J's two younger sisters, M having gotten there earlier than others and leaving just a bit early for dance).

One night last week, OHBoy (who is actually 12) and M started hitting each other with empty water bottles after dance class.  Then they really started getting into it, in a fun way, sometimes hitting bottles against bottles.  I've never seen him interact like that, but after a bit, I did ask M (and him) to stop before it got bad, just in case.  (Many don't even know he's actually autistic; he's so highly functioning so to speak, and is physically adept and active.)  M won.  They had planned a rematch on M's back to school night as OHBoy's mother was going to take M home until I could pick up M.  Except another parent who lives much closer to me offered, also.  Sorry, M.  You'll still see him three times a week through December.

When I picked up M from riding to run her to dance then me back to school, M looked at my outfit and nodded, "I give you permission to wear this tonight."  I HAD chosen one of the new ones from this summer (that's really browns and fall-ish), so I would look somewhat okay during Back to School Night.  She liked the brown cap-sleeved sweater I'd shown her previously, a couple times, but she hadn't seen on me.  I laughed, "That's good, honey, as I don't have time to run back home, anyway."

M is in a group (of otherwise all boys) from her class who are planning the equivalent of their schools extreme race day event.  It's somewhat like a triathalon except it may include a different set of 3 athletic events (usually mountain biking, running, and something else as the school pool is closed), a big event supported by the whole school, with prizes.  PE teacher is assisting.  One boy suggested a water dunking pool (before they researched the costs).  Pros and cons were bantered about, along with who would be dunked.  The volunteer then was suggested to do it naked, and then jokes started.  M said she told PE teacher she was going to go check on some particular other work.  At first, he responded that, no, M needed to stay there until something was figured out.  M said she looked at him, said, "No, I need to leave now."  Then, PE Teacher realized, oops, this is juvenile boy talk, and told her to go ahead andleave.  If he had not, he'd be receiving a call from me.  He'd made a comment back to the one boy, putting that boy in his place so to speak (boy won't bring up that topic again), but it was still, well, something to avoid with girls around, too.  The other days, just brainstorming and work on the race itself.  She has done well competing in this in past years.

There are two boys in M's 4-hand figures team.  One is also a J, as is the older World Qualifier dancer, J, so I'll refer to this boy as J4H or 4HJ (even if he was also in M's 8-hand, I think).  4HJ and his sister, K, are twins, moved up from the home school dance classes.  They had their first feis this summer, starting at Novice.  Both did really well!  4HJ even got a first place, and then in the last local (Baltimore) Feis, tied for 3rd with M in Open Prizewinner in, hmmm, Treble Jig I think, and their 4-hand team won first!  These twins are both neat kids, are blending in comfortably, and are also in one of the performing troupes.   Monday night was a special show your stuff or get cut, Oireachtas Figures practice.  (M's 8-hand team, where M was paired with OHBoy or is that Choreography?, has not had a lot of attention, and they couldn't meet up over the summer to practice, and even though I see them as a team now, coming a long way, they got cut as a team that would take too much work this year so plan for next.)

After the teams were either cut or chosen, FiguresTeacher had an intense practice for the 4-hand teams.  4HJ was across from M.  FiguresTeacher stops everyone, as she sometimes does to focus on a particular step and moment in the dance.  When the boy (or girl in boys position) and girl are linking arms in front just so, they are to go right up against the chest of the one dancer.  FiguresTeacher paired with M, pushing for emphasis into M's chest wall (NOT the breast area, btw), talking repeatedly about the chest and needs to touch the chest.  "If you don't want anyone else touching your chest, put your hand there."  M was a mite red, and later I found out also feeling that fist.  4HJ, across from M and having to look at the teacher and M, all about chests, nervously pulled the top of his t-shirt into his mouth, chewing it a bit, turned away (as if embarrassed).  M didn't even notice.

FiguresTeacher later told us gathered parents that she could hear allof OUR giggles.  Then smiled and saidshe had to teach them correctly, which we all knew and agreed with.  Just, well, it was cute.

When were out of town last weekend, M got to spend time with her "adopted twins from Russia" classmates who'd moved.  They're quite athletic.  After some awkward how have you been's, they had fun.  Towards the end, the three were roughhousing.  I told the mother thatM really doesn't know any other girls she can do this with.

Whomever boy (or young man whenM's a young woman) M ever pairs with, will have to be smart, and physically capable, to truly match with her.  All in time, however:)  This both planning on wearing plaid pants the same day stuff is really cute, and that's just fine for now.

Tuesday morning I did change my shirt from the sloppier t-shirt I'd slept in, put on a bra and combed my hair, while I focused on being sure M was ready for her class trip and taking care of the animals.  I planned to shower and change afterwards.  We were at her school, taking her things out of the vehicle.  I had not heard further about a phone tree for pickup after the big trip, and I hadn't written down the names of the places (so I could e-mail C, as it's out of state, even though he was told the same info).  M realized I was walking outside, in public, towards Mr. L.  "Nice shorts," M commented, sarcastically.  "Huh?"  "I mean, nice pants."  They WERE nice casual pants, actually.  I just never usually wear them except at home or walking Daisy.   I had refrained from wearing my pink plaid pajama pants:)  "Ah, sorry M, so, is your mother embarrassing you now?"  She still let me give her a kiss and hug good-bye.  Later, walking by with girlfriends and a big smile, "Mom, can you please....?" 

 

Tags: 13 year olds

Doug and our mom

Doug called me Monday afternoon, approximately our 5th conversation that day, plus a couple on Sunday, all of those primarily about my father and all the stuff going on with Dad those couple days.  Not this call, though. 

"Did you tell Mom about my latest, ah, medical incident?"

"You mean, your heart attack?  No."  Yeah, Doug had a heart attack not last Saturday, but the Saturday previous.  Nicely, rest and aspirin deemed him "okay," and he still went to physical therapy last week (and yesterday) just didn't do all the workouts.  He didn't really want word out about it.

"Okay, good.  Well, then, why is Mom asking me to lunch tomorrow?"

"I don't know.  I know she's pissed at me."  Pause.  "Wait, not saying she's asking you to lunch tomorrow because she's ticked at me, just saying that she is ticked at me."  Mom had e-mailed me last week, suggesting ideas for M (and I) with Mom for last weekend, and that she had an appointment in the town south of me yesterday so could we take care of an errand before or after.  I was a bit thrown, as M and I were actually, finally after 2 years of telling M we'd go to this almost-midwest town, going to go there for a 2.5 day weekend, our only summer vacation.  I was also SWAMPED, not a moment break from my alarm going off until my head hit the pillow at night, though I did send Mom our itinerary Thursday late, with a note that I think she'd forgotten that we were going there.  Mom DID call M twice over the weekend, asking about the feis and all, so that's good; she did NOT contact me.

Doug and I talked a few minutes longer.  I told Doug that Dad seemed to know (about Doug's heart attack) when I was by earlier that day.  "Oh, I told him."  Good, as I had assumed that'd be alright, and with Doug was my "fill-in" with Dad this past weekend, I'd told Dad this info.

I went in with Boss, and had a voicemail from Doug when I returned to my desk.  Hmmm, okay.  Apparently while on the phone with Doug with him telling me about his invitation to lunch with Mom, Mom had called him back to tell him not to let me know that she'd asked him to meet up with her.  Doug and I talk a couple times more that night, both cracking up at this, and me promising not to respond to Mom about Tuesday for at least another hour, even if I'd forgotten all about it until Doug called the first time.

Later, I e-mailed Mom that I'd been swamped, and that the errand would be too much on Tuesday for me, suggested another date for that, but I could likely still meet up.  Tuesday a.m., while M and I go one last time through her packing list for a fantastic school trip she was leaving on, Mom writes back, "Let's do it another time."  Phew.  "Sounds like a plan." 

Doug calls me Tuesday a.m., possibly nervous, "I just want to know what you told Mom about Dad.  I don't want to say something I shouldn't."  Gosh, I don't even know, I don't lie, but most things I don't go into much depth with Mom about.  Doug and I talked about some basics, though.  I think he was nervous.  "I figure if Mom asks me to lunch after 10 years, I may as well go."  I hadn't realized it's been quite that long, quick math, gosh, yes.  "I think you can give our mother 2 hours every 10 years."  He laughed, "Yeah, that's about what I figured.  Don't worry, I won't take over as Mom's companion."  "I am NOT Mom's Companion."  Growing up, Doug had been Mom's favorite, hands-down, I've heard her say it, seen her show it often, my relatives on both Mom's and Dad's side told me, as an adult, that they saw it.  Nicely I figured it out early enough that it was not Doug's doing, and he and I are and were fine.  They had a blow out when M was around 2 years old that isn't my story to tell.  Hmm, maybe it's been 11 years for Mom and Doug, then, not 10.  He had not seen her hair all white before.

I called him after.  "It was fine.  She just had this box of stuff of mine."  "Oh, right, I forgot.  With your birth certificate."  "My birth certificate, and [various items from childhood she'd saved for him]."  "Mom gave me mine probably 3 years ago."  We talked of the items, photos of him with our great grandmother, report cards, etc.  "She is just upset with you as she didn't remember you telling her you were going to [almost midwest town]."    "So she IS ticked at me."  "Yeah, you know Mom.  Hey, I'm not getting in the middle of a fight between you and Mom; I have enough issues going on."  I laugh.  "I'm not fighting.  She'd have to let me know she's upset first."  "She'll get over it in a couple weeks, or when she sees M again."  Mom being mad in the first place makes no sense to me, even with knowing that she was eager to see M, and M with C this weekend AND next as we switched in there, so I suppose it's dinner at Mom's one night next week (I'll suggest it).

Doug told me a couple times how many photos of M that Mom had, and how proud mom is of M, "She's her grandchild, and her only one."   I am happy for that.  I re-explained to Doug that that's really why I spend time with Mom, and ignore most of the little snipes and hurtful comments she possibly doesn't even realize she's doing some of the time.  It's not the laptop she bought M or other help, I don't and won't feel beholden for those things even if they are nice and helpful.  "I was really close to Grandma."  "Yeah, I know, and I wasn't.  I'm not close to anyone."  Hmmm.  I ponder this.  I was Grandma's favorite granddaughter (my disabled cousin one of her two favorite grandsons), and I so needed that, but how DID Doug feel?  Also, guess that NotWife really is no longer close with him.  "I want the same for M.  And they were the ones to help me raise her before C got very involved."  And, they are still there for M and involved.  And, Mom and (stepfather) Bob "need" M, too.  Like I try to have M visit with Dad now that things are better, tho she's always been close with Mom and Bob.

Mom and Doug did talk about Dad some.  In regards to how Dad is getting the money to pay for the repairs, Doug just told her that he wasn't going to discuss it (it IS Dad's business, not Mom's, who respected what Doug said), but it was Dad's money.  How much I help out Dad, yet how Doug was the one who lived there with Dad when I left at about age 12 (to live with our mother), Doug getting the brunt of it / things (he 3.5 years younger than me, not wanting to move away from his friends).  His progression of thoughts and actions re: Dad these past 3-5 years.  He did tell Mom those things. Etc.

Doug calls me back later.  "Robin, don't tell Dad I had lunch with Mom."  Oy.  I don't really get why, but whatever!  I'm glad that they did.

Doug and I both know that Beth is great to talk with, and keep secrets (even if she agrees with me that this not telling stuff like lunch dates is weird).  Who asked me not to relay about a medical issue with her husband, Len lately.  (He is improving, so yeah.)

And Mom and I have e-mailed a few brief times on other topics.  Thinking of M this past weekend and on her class trip right now which should be glorious and educational, spending time with and for Dad, getting cuddles from (cat) Billy and kisses from (dog) Daisy girl, supposedly doing laundry (Dads latest still sits in my vehicle), and getting e-mails from C who is "not very pleased" that M didn't call him Monday night.  (Like he can't be the adult and call HER, who I think didn't even remember, being busy unpacking and packing and homework somehow assigned Monday night with a Tuesday class trip planned, and a fit it in riding lesson as she'll miss her regular one for the class trip, and a special Oireachtas figures rehearsal with "chosen or cut" time.  Heck, I even asked her if she wanted to call C, not knowing he had told her to.)

See why I aim for some sense of normality for M?  lol  I am glad that Doug and Mom met up.  And, nothing I can or could have done for Doug in regards to his heart attack, but wish he and Mom hadn't both had those (it's my Dad and Doug who have both had a few mini-strokes).   Yeah, Doug and I discussed character traits and genetics we've inherited sometimes, too, lately.  Good and not so good.  Interesting to me is that Doug said a good thing from Dad was that Dad was always creative with Christmas gifts (including finding the right one for the person).

I do feel for Doug sometimes.  He wouldn't want me to fuss, though, just listen occasionally.

Tomorrow, Doug's rescuing two kittens currently living under a building on his work site, in part as his partner hates cats.  That's okay.  Doug's beloved dog has been gone several month now.  Doug is able to walk again but not to the extent that owning a dog would require.  Maybe two kittens are a good thing (at least I think so).

Mom's sister, Vesta (yes, I truly have an aunt Vesta), IM's me.  "Your mother says that M did great at her competition last weekend."  I smile and respond, and ask about my goddaughter, LOL (her granddaughter).

 

Tags: meeting after 10 years, grandparents, parentand child