"Don't write me off cos I'm 90"

If you want, just skip down to the video:)

My main dance group has a performing troupe.   We perform Irish ceili and set dances at various festivals, parades, and lately most often, at nursing homes and senior centers.   Depending upon the audience, we make time for teaching one of the more simple dances as audience participation.  I can't make all of the performances, M's schedule and needs come first, and I don't discount my father's own needs, but I try when I can just like others do.  It's for fun and to share with others.  Besides, I'm getting to check out places for my father, too, eh?  M's Irish stepdance performing troupe visits nursing homes and senior centers as well (and schools and etc.), without the audience participation but often with time for questions and answers (which TCRG/teacher Ma is great with!).

A few weeks back, the particular audience my group had for a large nursing home complex, were primarily wheelchair bound.   I always do better communicating more with just a couple people, then with large groups.   One man in particular had tubes and other items, could hardly talk and was not in great shape, almost completely immobile on his back and his one leg straight out.  I could hardly understand him, but I looked him in the eyes and TRIED to udnerstand and converse.  I think he said "Ireland" at one point in our conversation, and I faked a general response as I couldn't tell the rest of his question or statement, later making sure to wave goodbye to him when we all waved and left.   We had the music for Sweets of May playing for the North Kerry Set, rofl, but they didn't know nor care:)   They participated by clapping.

Last night we gathered at a senior center, where people come for activities and care primarily in the day but a full months worh of evening events for those with transportation.   A lot of eager dancers came up to try it out from this group!   One man said he used to be an active square dancer, and a women in an orange sari was my partner for the Siege of Ennis.   Hmmm, she can bare her midriff, yet I'm 45 and don't dare bare mine anymore?  Unfortunately, the music was a bit fast even for "regular" dancing of it.  One woman had hip trouble and couldn't sidestep so they worked out something else.  My partner did fine but couldn't quite keep up so stepped out after we'd passed through to the two next lines (it's a progressive, i.e., ceili dance).   Others who tired were able to stay for the whole thing, enjoying it.

A couple dances later, E and I were tops for the Clare Lancers performance-version set.  A very fast-paced Matt Cunningham 4:49 minute version.  I LOVE it.  Love it, love it.  It looks fast and more complicated, and done well, also looks nice.   After, walking back out of the room (to where they had us when not dancing), I laughed with my former lady partner, "So, you'll be doing this one next?!"   She laughed and held my arm and her friends laughed with her.  *I* get something out of this when there's a connection, when someones day is brightened or they just enjoy themselves a moment.  (Admittedly, dancing usually does that for me, too, forget the rest of the world for a while, especially if dancing tops with E.)

The Meals on Wheels driver for Wednesdays called me yesterday.  Dad had asked him to, some problem with Dad's cell phone again (I had to ask Doug to assist with, cuz cell phone company won't believe me that I'm a man).  The man apologized for bothering me, for mentioning something he'd noticed that nicely we're taking care of, anyway, said he didn't know how often I got by and if I'd noticed and he shouldn't have brought it up....   Huh?  Does he get hostile responses?   Heck, what if I hadn't noticed.  I'm there at least weekly usually more often, but seems in many families it's less from what this guy was saying.  I'm happy he told me and I thanked him.  I thanked him for his helping out.   He said he took care of his wife for 2 years, so he knows how it is.   (The Thursday driver just called me now, putting Dad on the phone.   Great, cuz I could explain to Dad that I can't pretend to be him with the phone company and that Doug is going to contact them.  Yep, Doug is more understanding now, when he IS needed.  Dad's feeling relief that I have receive the message, that I hear him, that I'm working on it.  Bless these drivers.)

I didn't know that one Senior Center was so close by and had evening programs.   It's likely not the closest one to my father, but I'll still check into it.   The style is more what my father could accept right now, he has dementia but doesn'trequire full medical care.  It could ease the transition, help him more socially, etc.   I joked w/ a girlfriend, so, is this how it'll be for us?  Well, sigh, hopefully really, at least at first.   Some had their adult kids pick them up, some drove themselves.  Computers there and puzzles and books and a big bingo board.  But, active, with a nice social group aspect.   That's still needed.

Aunt Beth turned 62 this month, not so old to me:)   My parents, all three, are intheir 70's.  Seniors, yes, not ELDERLY per se.  I joke with really nice tattoo-wearing , Harley and Stones loving coworker who is going to turn 40 years old this year, that she'll be only 10 years away from being able to join the Red Hat Society rofl.   But, that's okay.   I miss my grandmother sometimes.  I learned a lot from not even considering writing her off (at 96), learning a lot from her, too, as only a grandparent figure can truly impart to a grandchild.

I love this video -- I don't know how to insert photos (large-like, inthe middle of text), or videos themselves.  So, please click on this link: 

YouTube - The Zimmers "My Generation"

Quoted directly from :  www.myspace.com/thezimmersband
"The oldest and greatest rock band in the world - meet The Zimmers and their amazing cover of The Who's "My Generation".   Lead singer Alf is 90 - it's quite something when he sings "I hope I die before I get old". And he's not the oldest - there are 99 and 100-year-olds in the band!  

The Zimmers will feature in a BBC TV documentary being aired in May 2007. Documentary-maker Tim Samuels has been all over Britain recruiting isolated and lonely old people - those who can't leave their flats or who are stuck in rubbish care homes.  

The finale of the show is this group of lonely old people coming together to stick it back to the society that's cast them aside - by forming a rock troupe and trying to storm into the pop charts.
Some massive names from the pop world have thrown their weight behind The Zimmers... The song is produced by Mike Hedges (U2, Dido, Cure), the video shot by Geoff Wonfor (Band Aid, Beatles Anthology), and it was recorded in the legendary Beatles studio 2 at Abbey Road.
Look out for the single being released from May 21 - with proceeds going to a good cause."

Tags: , The Zimmers My Generation, eldercare, Meals on Wheels, Irish ceili and set dancing

Tags: The Zimmers Band, elderly

This Week, Last Week!

More upbeat "slushpile" stuff can be tackled now, eh? :)   Various things I've been scrambling thoughts on in my head I mean to write upon:  Now to just feel more upbeat again, and find time to transfer thoughts onto blog.

Cherry rain.   Yep, that's how I describe last weekend.  It started off with a "Sakura" aka cherry blossom, parade and wow, a great Japanese Street Festival.   I even have photos to add!  The rain mostly held off, light rain only until after the festival, then pouring.  And, the wind.  Are we chasing or running with the wind, Daisy? The wind so strong and loud, it came as a roar over the woods, sounding as if a huge ocean wave coming to crash down upon us.  We raced with the fallen, blowing white petals down the road.  Power out at M's school and a few others, Doug's work off and on.  I almost drove over a tree limb barely visible at dusk.   Yes, Big Storm hit Maryland, also. 

Taxes.  Wow, I impressed myself even by completing my Federal and Maryland state tax returns and dad's automatic extension, and mailed them, by yesterday.   I didn't even go for the 2-day extension if needed for "April 16 storm" delay, which DID delay me from completing them on Monday.   My dad's a retired CPA.  He always did mine until he couldn't due to beginning dementia problems (then I'd let him as he wanted to believe he could, but go over them later myself).  Paperwork is very difficult for me.  He knows the date April 15th as well as his and my birthdate (somehow he is not so clear on other basic dates, like my brothers birthdate, or current date).   Turn around to be filing HIS extension.   Even if Doug tells me Maryland may have been due Monday after all (darn  oh well, what can I do NOW?)   I have more to do, tax-wise, but this felt good.

Avoidance from filling out the financial aid application and taxes over Easter weekend.......  But I WAS productive with a lot of things in a majorly ADD way:)   Also, either being very organized or not at all, combined with wanting and benefitting from organization yet difficulty doing so myself oftentimes.

Maybe a mention of STILL not receiving child support due April 1st and hating to charge groceries and argh...... ok, mentioned:)  lol  I don't get caught up with money unless I don't have enough to do what I need to.

OIREACHTAS or in other words, Oh I REACH To A Star!   If I'd known that before December, maybe I could have remembered more readily how to spell it:)  Southern Region Oireachtas will be in Atlanta in December 2007, and ,yes, before Big Show, M was asked to join figures again:)   Lineups and see who is close in heighth to whome and what figures groups, was held Monday.   M and friend L may both be in a 4-hand, 8-hand, and choreography!!!  Ma does great choreography.   I wish to write more thoughts on why DD (and I supporting her) is staying with her school........  yeah:) 

I have a quick note" red-headed woman."  lol.   Meaning, a new radio station in town.  Or, a newly revised one that made my day yesterday:)  94.7 "the globe" (could be 947theglobe.com but I'm not positive).  WEASEL IS BACK!   Very exciting, a local legand really.  Started listening to Weasel back in the eons ago days of the original WHFS / 99.1.   And, Cerphe (pronounced Surf) is there, too!   I've always liked Cerphe.  YEAH:)   Tuesday, the "eclectic lunch" was brought to you by the letter "R."   Hmmm, I"m Robin asking for China by the Red Rockers!  Not clear if that was played (but I chatted with dj Schelby and she played that on the air.   Bruce Springsteen plays a great "Red-Headed Woman" song, lol, saucy one of his I've not heard previously. 

Hey, AOL Journals Editor Joe gets away with simply listing HIS "slushpile."  Can't I?  :)

 

Tags: slushpile, Weasel, Oireachtas, 947theglobe, cherry blossom festival, Cerphe

33

SO that appears to be the final number, 33 dead (at Virginia Tech).  Each person shot three times each, other than, presumably, himself.  I heard that one of the survivors had received a potentially fatal wound but used his former Boy Scout training to have someone assist him in tying an electrical cord? around his leg as a tourniquet to keep from bleeding to death.*  I heard that one of the victims had escaped the Iron Curtain, is a Holocaust survivor, and, on Monday, went into action, barricading a door with his own body, so that his students could escape (including jumping out of windows). 

Youth from my church, whom I know and care about, who attend VaTech currently, Megan A., David C., Liz H., Nick W., Craig C., and a recent grad who has stayed living in Blacksburg, Mary S., are physically safe and were not harmed.   I felt relief seeing this note from Youth Pastor, and request to join in prayers for all the victims and the families and anyone dealing with this tragedy.  Virginia Tech is within local regional consideration for us here in the Maryland suburbs of Washington, D.C.   Heck, a high school boyfriend felt compelled to call and check on me, I suppose just feeling the need to reflect upon his life and those he cares for.  (We've stayed in touch somewhat over the years.  I've known C since we were both 14, but I didn't date him until college.)

Coworker's sister is physically safe (Coworker was scheduled to be home in mid-Virginia yesterday and today, anyway, so I personally have not heard if her sisters friends are alright).  A message board buddy''s stepdaughter is physically safe, and back home in northern Virginia right now.   Two other message board buddies have nieces who physically safe, too.  (One is refusing to return to school.)

However, there are still 33 dead now, 33 who are not okay.  I had much I planned to blog about this week, but my heart and mind go back to this tragedy foremost.   I'm too visual to have watched the televised news, seen the violence via videos.  It's troubling enough.   But, I pour over The Washington Post, and AOL's news, and MSN's news and talking with people. 

More and more information has come out, the notion of a girlfriend involved long gone, instead he's rebuked communication and touches of social interaction from what I've read, yet the girlfriend concept was explained why they thought so at the time.   More and more photos of those now dead.  Someone watched current President Bush speak, relayed he looks tired.  I joke thatit's from the long commute from DC to Blacksburg (NOT far), but then add I'm sure it's touched him, too, anyone with kids or family close in age to the victims.  My one nice a freshman (elsewhere), two more going next year...

Those photos, those stories, getting international attention.   I feel for and pray for the family of the shotoer as well, primarily for his sister, Sun, tho also his parents.  It's difficult enough to have a loved one die so tragically, so seemingly without sense; I'm sure many friends and family are crying out WHY?  It's hard enough to see the faces on the news again and again and again (even if it appears that many of the families have taken time to find and provide fairly good photos by now).   A former coworker of mine was one of the first victims of "the" snipers in the DC area, and I'd see the face repeatedly in newspapers and on television, even a year later for the anniversary, and it's like a slap, a sad reminder.  When Dougie died, his photo and story were all over the front page of his local city paper for a couple days, and his sister was interviewed on the television news.   It's also difficult to have a child or sibling whom you've loved, most likely tried to help, watching him grow up from a newborn to an adult, hoping he gets help if and when needed at either work or school.   (The shooter, Seung Hui Cho, apparently did have an acquaintance (or his parents?)  get him into a mental facilitiy in 2005 as a suicide risk, and staff at VaTech were recommending him for counseling, teaching him one on one, etc., but no direct threats so difficult to actually force him I think from what I've read??).   But, then, to love someone and to hear not only of his death, but his role in such a horrendous shooting rampage murder-suicide......  How many will mourn at his funeral, except those left behind who have loved him "forever," and God.  I admit, while my heart goes out to everyone, truly, it primarily goes out to the shooter's sister, Sun-Kyung Cho.   {{{{{Sun-Kyung}}}}} 

For some gestures of support, the US and other flags are at half-mast.   AOL/AIMmembers can changetheir buddy icons A Tiny Gesture of Solidarity for Virginia Tech, or Virginia Tech Support (Icons & More).  And other journalers have...... (to add here but saving this first so I don't lose it).  UPDATE:  Hey, Pharmolo, you read this too soon!  lol, just trying to add your post (of several).  Others, please go here:  Virginia Tech info which also includes a guestbook link.

* update:  His name is Kyle, from Bowie, Maryland.  After a performance at a local senior center Wednesday, a friend relayed how her nephew is good friends with this guy.   And also knows one of the girls who jumped while her professor blocked the door from shooter, the girl's fall broken by bushes and she's injured but alright.

 

Tags: Virginia Tech shooting, Sun-Kyung Cho

Virginia Tech Shooting

Ever "watch" a drama unfolding and feel almost helpless?  My coworker's sister attends Virginia Tech.  The sister is fine, thankfully.   Some of her friends were in the engineering building where the shooter had his second rampage (or, I think that's the latest word).    Coworker has relayed the initial shooting of some guys girlfriend and then hearing more and returned from lunch alarmed to hear of 20 dead, and then 22 dead (including the shooter) and 22 injured, then 28 injured......   hopefully, it's stopped, being that the shooter is also slain.

Coworker's day started off with coffee on her white blouse, bad cold so cannot help with her grandmother's chemo treatment later this week, and is not doing so well now emotinoally right now.   Sigh.   I have talked w/ her some, inadequately but. 

I've visited VaTech.  One of my best friends attended there, for pre-vet stuff, and it's one of the schools M's thought of if she persues a vet career.   Except she wants to be a neonatalogist now.   I also visited Blacksburg to watch my sorority sisters on their campus run a charity event that I was in charge of at my university.

My day today is much better...... windy, M with no school due to power outage.....

Just praying for the people there and the families, as "what happened" unfolds.  

Update: aol refers to this as the worst in US history.  I overhear Coworker as she talks with a sibling, surprised and seemingly more shaken to open an e-mail from their (estranged?) father that appeared to have been from her brother, but at least the dad is checking about his daughter who attends Virginia Tech.   I don't know that history.   Coworker says it's up to 29 people dead, not injured, but dead.   I'm sure all of you can read about this in the news, as Coworker is.  How utterly sad.   Thanks for the prayers, even for the family of the shooter, for all of them.     I'll see my missy M in a few, with almost constant communication, lol, and that's good just such a stark contrast to this tragedy, really.

History Starts Now (watch a video, help fight autism)

I'm told that clicking on this video by Five for Fighting and watching it helps raise money for autism research and education programs.   I love this song, anyway.   Even that snippet, "history starts now."  Great concept:)   Five for Fighting  Found out, April is Autism Awareness Month.

I know a couple people with autism and one high school senior with Asperger's Syndrome.  One of the boys on the autism spectrum (seems quite highly funcitoning or Asperger's syndrome to me), is in M's Irish stepdancing performing troupe.  His parents are great, too, and I will be giving them this link.   (Dad is also a musician, and sometimes plays bodhran with the boy dancing as a "duet" of sorts at shows, or with other boys dancing.)   The boy is about 9 months younger than M, and is "just" another member of the troupe, as in, all members accepted and comfortable together.  He's more noticeable for being the boy in their particular troupe than anything else, oh, and the reddest hair:)

The other boy ah, nix that, young man now, I know who has actual autism, I also know from dancing.  His older sister was an Irish stepdancer and he and his parents have been members of my main Irish ceili and set dance group for many years.   His main focus is on music, and he also plays guitar and piano.  Anyone spending much time with this young man socially, will pick up that he functions differently than "the majority."   He was in a special schooling program until he turned 21 years old about 2 years ago?, proudly displaying his high school ring.

There are patterns in much of Irish dancing, particular for sets (figures) dances.  I enjoy those myself, and once I "get" the pattern in a dance, I can really enjoy it.  Dancing in pattern-styled dancing apparently helps keep the mind functioning and can aid against dementia, also:)  Just thought I'd add that in.  I do know that many who have minds that are more mathematically or engineering oriented do well with "my" type of Irish dancing (the more social type), at least in terms of remembering the dances.   (Sometimes, some can't free-form dance very comfortable which is noticeable when it's a waltz and they prefer waltz cotillion, with patterns and expectations, over flowing across the floor in a free-form walt with ones partner.)  I digress.......   My guess is that the patterns found in many of the ceili and set (figures) dances are helpful for those with their neurology on the autism spectrum.   They know what to expect, how it SHOULD be.  (Sometimes the young man gets a bit stressed about doing it correctly, has every dance quite memorized.   I do fine with him, so sometimes get paired with him. 

Five for Fighting

I'm NO expert by ANY stretch on autism or Asperger's, just a fellow human being who did some searching and talking with parents about their own kids, nothing more than that.  But, what the heck, here are two websites with some further information that I found interesting.   I like the one article in particular for it's discussion how some of this (a touch of autism in ones life) can be an enhancement for a person and society, just as I personally see a touch of ADHD being a positive thing.   (I scored 24 points on the AQ test, with the average 16.x and the "cutoff" of 32, but some of the scoring for me may be the ADD symptons??? combined with my math skills??? I DO notice things such as phone numbers and license plates, lol)   I'm not autistic.

But, I am much more understanding of, say, the bright and wonderful high school senior and her personal space issues and her incredible interest and knowledge of owls, who loves band and happens to have Asperger's syndrome.  She does rock back and forth  a touch sometimes.  She was quite relieved to discover this about herself as a high school student (and realize her dad has it, also), after a toddler in her family was diagnosed.  I know that my comprehension that part of my internal wiring is why I am, in part, the way I am, was a relief to me.

Wired 9.12: Take The AQ Test

Wired 9.12: The Geek Syndrome

 

UPDATE:  This woman writes a journal about many things, including her son who has Asperger's Syndrome.   In this post, she includes his talk he gave to his Boy Scout (pack?):  Hammer's Talk for Autism Awareness Month

Tags: Five for Fighting, Autism, Asperger's Syndrome

in 3 months (but not yet)

In 3 months, we won't be contemplating snow showers at night or during the day.  Not that I'd anticipated contemplating them NOW, Easter egg roll weekend, either.  It'd been in the 80's even lately, but so be it.   COLD, in April, when January had been warm.  I can understand rain today; it's Good Friday, the physical world crying for the pain of Christ's suffering on our behalf.   But, snow?

In 3 months, it'll be so warm, we may be wishing for some cool night air.   Christ will still have died and risen, will we remember that joy, His pain, our blessings of forgiveness?

In 3 months, will be the week of Independence Day, and fireworks fireworks fireworks.  It's M's favorite holiday.  She wants to ride that train:)

In 3 months, will be the week my daughter becomes an official teenager, 13 years old.   The young woman she's growing into.  

M is young enough to be disappointed that the weather kept us from viewing cherry blossoms in person this week (busy earlier in the week and we go annually), heck, I'm disappointed, too.  Young enough to get excited to decorate Easter eggs, expected to get a basket of her own and excited for it (I did a blue theme this year inside a tinkerbell reusable fabric basket).  M's young enough, she wanted Grandma (my mom), and I, to play hide and find the plastic eggs from M's basket there, repeatedly.   Young enough to love the idea of using egg dye to dye MORE items, from bubble socks and two shirts, to, um, Pink Tink and Pretty Boy Blue-eyes aka Captain.   (Tinkerbell still has pink on the top of her back, placed so it wouldn't be licked even if I believe it's harmless, while Captain's blue has worn off.) 

M's young enouhg to prefer playing and racing around with Daisy and get her a pink dress with little white daisies with yellow centers (I was quite happy to return that dress today, phew, too small for our beagle girl who does NOT need an Easter dress).  

Old enough to get upset with ME,  when she forgot to connect that Chance spooks, and the day we'd planned for me to bring Daisy and watch M's lesson would include her riding Chance.   Old enough to be happy to test-ride still too lame Fancy, and ride hmm, Chance?? the next day (sans me).  Young enough to not feel yet that she could ask Sh or C if shecould still do her lesson while with them, though I sent riding pants and relayed the dates/times on, just in case (one definitely being missed).

M is young enough to have taken out her birthday baby bear and brushed his hair and changed his nightclothes the other night.   She still enjoys American Girl items, not so much the dolls as in previous years, but the newest Molly we enjoyed, and M asked me to renew her magazine subscription (likely the last time, I know).

Old enough to not even think of visiting the Easter bunny (I got an anticipated "look" for asking lol), or ride "the" bunny train where Bob and sometimes my mother, sometimes even M/I help out, BTDT years ago, annually.   Old enough to suggest and walk to and from a local grocers by herself midday, even paying for the distilled white vinegar as the bottle we had, had actually evaporated (calling me to help her decide which bottle to get).  Making me a cup of tea later on, just because she thought I'd like one.

Old enough to spend time on her hair, using my hairclip, getting it just right with blow drying and hairspray, the "right" earrings.  She looked real nice there at the high school's musical with her friend, Md, and later in the backseat they talked about boys as we drove Md home.   Maybe if I spent more time than "twist and clip," my hair might look as nice.  Old enough where Grandma decided maybe taking M to get an outfit would be an Easter idea, knowing M would have her own opinions, and had grown to need new things.  Somehow I'm still thinking, wow, M fits junior clothes now (as do I, just larger ones).   Old enough to check out acne products at the cosmetics counter, and young enouhg to not really need them, blessedly (that night, however, *I* really needed them, lol).   Old enough to know she WANTED another shower before heading to her dads for a few days (primarily to shave her underarms, as she doesn't have a razor there).

Old enough to hold her own, adapt to last minute changes (no music, then music on but wrong music, or cd skipping, etc.), and perform beautifully and well, becoming more poised, smiling, having fun with it.  AND look out for Si when they had gigs together this week.  The 8 years difference works nicely (M says "she's young and good" when I ask her if she's borhtered that now Si is in many gigs, too, and Si IS good at dancing and performing, and sweet).   M's young enough I said a silent thank you to the woman in the one audience who came and  thanked M first, commenting on M's dancing, then to Si, the woman then asking if she could get a photo of them both.  

I get comments that M is a beautiful dancer, and Ma says M is really a good performer ("is she all prizewinner now?" asks Ma), while those same people also say how rare a talent Si has.  It's all true.  Even M has said, watching two other girls in a store someplace, that she's glad she's not that close in age to Si; there is enough focus on her (from C and Sh), anyway, and that's all true, too.   Nothing against Si, either, who is a delightful girl I was happy to invite to dance w/ M at my groups ceili even, and it's just evolved more.   M has fun with her gigs, loves it, and Si is eating them up, too.  I'm just thankful for those 8 years difference.  

In 3 months, M will have one more feis behind her, possibly 2.  (If C/Sh have her go to a local one with Si, possibly even 3.)  M finally wears her new hardshoes to makeup class this week.  She sat on them before class to help bend them/break them in.  I'd told M that I DID want her wearing them for her upcoming late May feis.  "Mom, I got all my backclicks, did you hear me?!"  And, she sounded louder on her hornpipe, goes up more nicely on her toes. 

M's old enough to pick up her homework herself, and has finished all of it, essay, Spanish (she wasn't sure she had but she did), and all but three problems in algebra/math "it's easy, really easy, Mom" including graphing (yeah!).    Not much more of the "To Kill a Mockingbird" book, due a few days later.  I plan to buy myself the Cliff Notes or similar, so I can comprehend this book I struggle to read with her, little patience for its style I suppose no matter how classic and good, and she likes my idea of renting the movie.

And, today, Good Friday.   Many are sick (I think M and I are "just" fighting allergies, as the blech symptons were mild Wednesday with the rain).  We've celebrated our Easter over the past week, including visiting Dad with decorated Easter cookies (Pillsbury "funfetti" cake mix has a great tasting cookie recipe on the side, btw), after my mom had requested I bring those to her Easter dinner with us.   Si e-mails me (twice this week, oddly, it's fine just they haven't allowed M to e-mail with me since last summer, cutting her off mid-email even, insistently).  So, I e-mail M, twice, and will e-mail Si a happy easter greeting, also, both girls.   I may need to grocery shop for Dad on Saturday but still visit Sunday.   All the Easter finery.   I pick up three cans of Passover macaroons for M and I, as I prefer those over most Easter candies.   (I don't like milk chocolate.)   Maybe macaroons shouldbe offered like rugalah, both tasty and tempting in many flavors but rugalah often comes packaged with acombination of flavors.  It's notabout bunnies and pastel colors, it's about our savior dying for our human sins to be absolved.   That's something we (should) focus on how, but is always, even if I'll miss M this Sunday, Easter.   And Monday, remembering those years I'd take her to the White House Easter egg roll, us on t.v. even one soggy Easter Monday year.

I digress, of course.

Boss has been here a year now this week.   I think he and I get along real well.   I've been happy enough, sometimes real happy with him, but I'm hearing more than rumblings lately.   More going on with yet another employee today (one forced out a week or so ago, also).   He's been on the case of another coworker whom I work with often.   I'm learning some of the latest office politics, and trying to be aware.  

I've exchanged a few e-mails lately with a long-term online friend of mine I'd lost some touch with, both of us single moms, her kids much younger.  Her daughter is finishing kindergarten and asked that she walk to school herself next year, that they grow up so fast.  I told her not to worry, that they'l still want our hugs:)   M sometimes will just come to me, "I want a hug."  Or, I'll try to catch her and give her one.   Yes, Thursday, our best day all spring break, really, even if the others were great, just most had plans included.  Yesterday was hanging out just the two of us no set plans day, yet, as M went from starting one project to starting another, lol, she actually got a few things done, too, having a happy day. 

In 3 months, heck, in 2 months, my Goddaughter/niece and her cousin, my other "niece," will have actually graduated high school.  My cousin Ian will get married July 7, in British Columbia so we won't go (but M is thrilled to offer to dance at the August reception in the greater Seattle area). 

In 3 months, M will be a "rising" 8th-grader, taking a break from school yet preparing for her final year there, with a final report card and standardized test scores received, that she'll use for magnet school applications in the fall (debating if she wants to go magnet or not, so I'm learning deadlines and qualifications for her, in case).

In 3 months, I may not remember how I wonder how one gets 3 days in the tomb from Friday to Sunday, even if I'm not really bothered by that.

M'll be 13 soon enough:)   Some more warmth now, however, does not need to wait 3 months.  I read the journal of a trying to rehabilitate drug addict and wish her God's warmth and healing and hope as well.  I hear the world will be bright again by Easter:)   

I wrote to dearest M:  "In 3 months, we won't be looking at snow in the forecast.  In 3 months, you'll be in riding camp, and then fireworks at night.  In 3 months, you'll be the teenager you're growing to be!  I'm proud of you.  :)  "

 

Daffodils and Tradeoffs

I first noticed daffodils a couple days ago when Daisy ventured to an area near us that we don't always visit.  Since then, I've seen them all over the place!, from M's school, to along side the roads.  No wonder I love yellow:)   I see some pink starting, too, in some of the trees, and more bits of forsythia coloring the lawns.   So far, these pollens don't bother me, these are not my allergens.   The early joys of spring.

 

A real thunderstorm yesterday afternoon, also.  A heavy downfall, quick, intense, high winds thunderstorm.  M said she and others at The Barn were looking at the rainstorms "in stripes, there were real actual stripes," moving about the horizon.   "I'm going home to a wet house!," M said she told them.   "Did you tell them your mother was driving through this?"  Driving through and against it, I think.   Gone by the time we drove home, moments later, just the wet ground and cars remained.  

 

Doug called me last night.   I hadn't noticed until I heard my cell phone rining, smothered inside my purse, Dad calling me for Doug's number.  Uh-huh, what's going on?   Ah, nothing bad.   They'd talked earlier and got cut off.   Doug and I have both moved on to the next best idea for Dad, both of us thinking that if he sells his current home, and then moves into a place, that'd be best.  I prefer to have it fixed up some first, and Doug's not that patient, but at least he's not dropping his concern and attention.   Various ideas about the furniture, and senior homes, and how to's, yeah, he's just now collecting information, that I've tried ages ago, and I tell him I'd like to do this, but with only me interested, it hasn't worked, so I'm glad he's feeling (mostly) the same.   I know a few realtors, so guess I'm to contact them as he was thinking of contacting some "ugly house for sale" type of place, get whatever we can.   Um, it's not THAT bad off........

 

This whole thing seems to have upset Doug, which ultimately, is good.   He said he's tempted to just walk away, he can't do this again, and in the same conversation, he said more than once that he knows he needs to stop by Dad's more often.   He knows a bit of how much I'm doing (and, this past week,listening to me, too).  He makes a point to tell me how much Dad appreciates Meals on Wheels, good food and two meals a day just not enough fruit and juices, lol, yes, that's our dad, loves his citrus (so I tell Doug how they were late twice last week, and how Dad remembers the waiting but not that they did endup coming).   Somehow, he'd not realized Dad even HAD Meals on Wheels until last week, or, didn't remember.

 

The idea of Dad living with either of us had us talking about our respective dogs, and then Dad's laundry.   Hey, that IS a logical train of thought, really.  I read something yesterday about paranoia developing in some patients with dementia, and I was reminded of how dad was starting to get with his laundry, fearful he'd not see it again.   I felt it a victory to have two loads of his clothing I think I'll wash a third time just because.  Doug says he had bought for Dad some warmer tops last year for Dad's (May!) birthday (sweatshirts or similar, I forget specifically).   That would help ME so much, as it'd let Dad feel he didn't have to hold onto one specific warm top, so, in theory, Doug will bring those to Dad as an early birthday present this year.  

 

It IS a gift to have family to spend time on, focus on.   The burden is in all the issues, and all the time required sometimes immediately, that can be involved.   I can see Doug wrestling with all of this.   He tells me that he supposes it's a trade off, me being there often and doing all these other things, taking Dad to the grocery store (or, bringing him the things), and him coming in with the larger assistance for the larger crisis things.   Wonder if Doug still thinks that Dad carries his own trash down, etc., whatever.  Yeah, it has worked.   Doug pays the phone bill, I pay Meals on Wheels, and, I told Doug, I know I'm inheriting that boy Dad has started sponsoring.  "Why is he doing THAT???!!!!"   "I think he's lonely."  Doug takes that in.  A lot of other things here and there.  So, perhaps not as well as it likely could, I do know that. 

 

And M asks me a "math" question this morning, one she came up with after I'd gone to sleep.   She was trying to graph the hours of daylight over a year, believing that Daylight Savings Time brings about an additional hour of daylight, and trying to show when that occurs, combined with the seasonal shift.   What a good marketing job they've done, if she doesn't realize until I explain it, that the hours of daylight remain the same, no matter what time we refer to it as.   Just the seasonal shift, and, she recalls how the differences are more marked for those living near poles.   Today, she's teaching the Spanish class.   They are taking turns.   M spent time on her lesson plan last night, then switched it all about, oh, I like her latestidea:)   Monday, she HAD to get on the computer, rewrite her "What I Believe Essay," which had been due Monday, but, being she didn't feel she could ask C to call me and have me e-mail the electronic version of her rough-draft (nor letting her even know I"d called her, never mind having her return my call), Mo apparently gave M a reluctant extension.   I love hearing M thinking through her lesson plan for Spanish.:)   I hate the last minute urgent stuff, rearranging what I'd planned for us Monday night.  But, she's SUCH a gift, I SO want to be the one there for her and with her.  

 

I'm a sandwich generation.   I'm not alone, thousands are in the sandwich, caring for parents and children at the same time.   A lot of this I've done primarily single-handedly.  Not fully.  My mother/Bob have always helped with M, and her dad is more involved now, and Doug is around once in a while in regards to my father.  But.  The day to day, the name of M's friend who loves Reese's pieces (and gets them from M whenever she has that yogurt that comes with them), and Dad's dogwalking neighbor who used to bring up the newspaper, I KNOW these people, not just their names.  I'm the one there for M, all the time; I'm the one there for my father, most of the time.  

 

I'd love to just take Dad up to his favorite used book store, maybe one day while M's on spring break, as she loves a good book store as much as I do, and Dad does, oh wait.   Dad'll need a bath first, beard trimmed, too.  Need to run him some bottled water today until his water's back on.  Still.   I suppose, we're still all family, and we all just do what we can, including a littlebit of enjoyment in life while we're at it.   Like the bit of sunshine on earth found in a daffodil, and rearranging the game show version of a Spanish lesson plan. :)

Tags: daffodils, sandwich generation, caring for family, eldercare, paranoia and dementia