Random Threads

is it bad When M texts me midway through her "assessment?"

2010-11-09T11:45:00.000-08:00

The neuropsychologist fans through stacks of paperclipped test printouts, referencing them as proof. She leans forward a bit, looking right at me not to the point of intimidating. Apparently my daughter excelled in these simple (elementary / middle school level) tests, "so obviously she doesn't have any learning disorders."

Um, what?

While this woman moves to her next points, I stay stuck on that sentence. I instead wonder if she meant that ADD / ADHD isn't a learning disorder. I wonder if she believes that M does not possibly have ADD / ADHD, and if not, is this woman really basing her opinion that could become a diagnosis (or rule out diagnosis) on THOSE tests?

M's been on Vynase for months now. The neuropsychologist doesn't know if it'd remain in M's system or not, and as M wasn't on the medicine that day and did above average on her focus test, the neuropsychologist doesn't plan to pursue any additional ADHD testing. Um, one test, and she's an expert but doesn't know the potential interactions for the prescriptions for what she tests for and provides diagnoses for? She may e-mail M's neurologist for clarification on how long it remains in the system. Good, I hope so. I'd read previously to not stop it cold turkey; it makes sense to me that it could very readily maintain a baseline in the system vice just flushing out. We'll find out.

"And, I didn't notice her fidgeting." Never mind that reports indicate that M "fidgets" sufficiently often, and used to get commented on it regularly in "Intermediate," i.e., her middle school. Never mind that some people don't show the outwards signs of physical hyperactivity; their brains can still be all over the place. Never mind that she was in a new situation so would be on higher alert and focus, and may be retaining some medicine within her system controlling "fidgeting."

I'm, of course, grateful that my daughter doesn't have anything obvious that has hindered her in her elementary nor too badly in her middle school years. Oh, M's "presented" with symptons of ADD since Lower Elementary, often, and we share these fantastic "orange swirl" bounce all over the place yes there is some random vague connection and we can follow each other, really, conversations at times. It's just now in her higher level high school classes that this perceived way her brain processes information has hindered her more academically.

That's how we got here. Her chronic hiccupping lead to pediatrician visits, who ruled out some potential causes such as acid reflux, which lead to an excellent neurologist, who ruled out other things, including brain tumour and seemingly Tourette's isn't going on, either, thankfully. This doctor listens, had a very bright roommate in med school who had ADHD, has a son with ADHD, and understands that intelligent people can have disabilities, too. He felt that M was presenting with enough ADD/ADHD symptons to prescribe an Rx likely to subdue the hiccups and help take the edge off the ADD. The dosage for a small 5 year old was tried first, and then it's been increased twice. The edge is off, it really seems to be working for both things. I'm so pleased.

Just with this dosage, the neurologist wanted to go ahead and have M seen by a neuropsychologist. She sounded good enough, was recommended, doesn't take insurance argh but will help me submit and it's covered mostly. I figured it was worth laying out the money for, if this could help M achieve her personal optimal functioning. Even if some behavioral tricks are taught to her, I don't care, help her please.

Yes, M may also have nerves. She's not the same, however, as the neuropsychologists daughter who got very very nervous before exams in law school. Nah, M and I have talked quite a bit about her first half of her assessment. M is fine going in to an exam, or in-class essay that'll count as an exam, or starting off a project. She won't get nervous until the 10 and 5 minute bells ring when she realizes that she's been so caught up in searching through her brain for information and ideas, and how to write it all down, properly and hopefully perfectly, that she's only gotten through maybe half of the test........ then, yes, she gets nervous:)

M was the only one of her friends actually excited to take AP World History this year; she enjoys social studies courses and history. My boyfriend, E, asks me how hard can history be, even AP World History with literally several thousands of years worth of information within a few weeks of academic study time. He remembers classes asking when this happened, or who was the Commander / King / President in year x. Nah, in her class, she's asked to compare and contrast two different countries in relation to their, oh, I don't know something appropriate and applicable that has a student think about her answer. Great stuff, can only help them learn and appreciate more, just takes a lot longer.

The class M was worried about taking is her AP Lang class. Lang stands for Language something else, basically her English class for this year. M is learning a lot and I believe actually enjoys it and her teacher. She was worried about the AP exam, and how on earth she'd get her thoughts down, in time.

But, now? Ask about her homework, "Honey, are you having any trouble with any of your classes, do you understand what you're supposed to do?" "It's not that it's hard, there's just a lot." M does have the intellectual capability for the level classes she is taking, and the neuropsychologist even agrees via the ingelligence test. She did, however, gently nudge me to consider M taking less AP classes, or less classes overall, if she's too nervous and feeling overwhelmed. I asked M what she thought of potentially taking lower level classes instead of AP (college level). "No way, I'd be SOOOOOO bored." I knew that. Boring can even bring on the inattention, and potentially poorer grades. I don't see boring as a solution and will let M figure out how many and which AP classes to take next year.

Besides, other than World History where several whole projects were never turned in argh, and a few others turned in the last week of the grading period, and even with getting A's on the portions of tests that she finishes and, um, zeros on the parts she doesn't get to, she has maintained excellent grades. With a few months time to learn her classes, a new planner, and this slightly higher dosage of Vynase, she may even get an excellent grade on the rest of her history, too. (She tends to get A's, some B's, and a glaringly out of place set of E's.) M says this shows that she can handle her three AP courses and other classes. As long as she maintains handling it emotionally as well, great! We both believe that she is. That is worth "teasing" out, as the neuropsychologist terms it, just don't hang a hat on it out of proportion to M's reality.

Apparently these tests didn't challenge M sufficiently to keep her mind truly on task, however, as she'd memorized the majority of the titles of the books on the neuropsychologists bookshelf, and thee exact placement of the various decorations, et al. Gosh, so had I actually, so M and I laughed that we'd both done that.....

Today was the second half of this assessment. M asked if it was really worth it, besides, this time I had to pull her from part of school. She hates to miss any of school, in large part as it's so difficult to make up sometimes. She'd forgotten her medicine at her fathers and I didn't even bother telling the neuropsychologist this time. I may, just haven't.

I knew it could finish early, I knew that there'd be one test on a high school / college level. I hadn't expected a text from M so early. "I just want to leave." Oh. Yikes. Later M told me that she was simply really tired and bored. M was moving her feet and legs around slightly when I arrived. This is common enough, or was a lot more common before she started her medicine, and it doesn't bother me. This time, I figured I'd say something so that I was in essence pointing it out to the neuropsychologist. "So, are you dancing?" "Yes." Talking with the woman, exchanging administrative items. "Is that your [non-traditional] set?" "Yes." She was "hand dancing" a smidgen as well, now that I think about it. SO tired and SO ready to just leave, she was no longer finding the woman and these tests to be a novelty. She even interrupted me a couple times enroute back to her school, and I didn't correct her; she just wishes to get her thoughts across before she forgets. I'm understanding that now.

So, my daughter who "obviously has no learning disability," while taking assessments to theoretically test her ability to stay on task, was also memorizing the details of the room including all the titles of all of the books and their exact placement, practicing her dance steps, and texting me. Uh-huh.

Hello, again.

2010-10-22T09:08:00.001-07:00

Wow, hi there. Long time no see. You're looking good, from quick glance.

I thought I'd lost you forever. See, I know I have friends who have kept your link; I meant to ask them for it. It's just that I felt it'd be hopeless, you and I again. I don't remember my Google e-mail never mind that password. Actually, maybe it's time I told you that I really have two Google e-mails, and another public blog. Sorry, it wasn't really cheating. Sometimes I wanted to reach a different audience, to focus solely on Irish dancing, and my precious daughters experiences with it. I know, you could offer me that, too, but you met my greater needs. I could be anything with you that I could be anonymously public about. I don't even remember the name of that blog.

I've missed you. Oh, I felt a need for a break. There were things going on and I never forgot you; I kept meaning to come back to you. I discovered Facebook. Sorry, please don't feel mad or jealous. Sometimes people need to explore other alternatives. My online friends I've met through you, I can keep in touch with there, too. I admit it, I do like Facebook. It's just, well, not you. My friends and I can share more via you, and via their blogs, be more open and hence more intimate. Facebook is like a quick blog status update, yet mine at least is way too public and includes so many of my "in real life" (IRL) friends and family, that I can't always share what I'd really like to. Facebook is almost a false intimacy.

I haven't been on my daughter's laptop for a long time. I saw your link there in my bookmarks. I hesitated, but I clicked on it, tried to log in. I hope that's okay with you. Maybe we can try this again some? I have to relearn you. :)

p.s. -- friends who are also Facebook friends -- I don't publicize this blog to my IRL friends and family. My beloved, E, knows of it, and a few of my IRL friends and family know, but if you happen to mention it DON'T give out this screenname (Ceilisundancer) nor the link or blog name. Please:)

and I just don't care. I want her happy.

2009-07-02T06:58:00.000-07:00

M seemed sullen to go with Si's friends older sister yesterday, into the pool (and also with Sh, who is Si's mother and M's dad's long-term girlfriend). She likes pool time, brought her favorite suit, has nothing against this girl but they're several years apart in age and don't really relate; this is really Si's playdate time.

As I say in the Irish dance world when people ask if I know this adorable "she looks like she's no more than 5 years old" girl, I just say she's my daughter's sister. (It was fun to enjoy Celtic Fling Feis and watch Si's first preliminary championship level competition, even if her barely 7 year old self competed w/ dancers up to 10 years old.) M was happy to be supportive when she was there watching, and I'm proud of how M did act. Even if she was a bit reluctant at first but I told her she had to. Gorgeous weather, teacher FT was there watching and encouraging, asking me, "Which hip of M's is hurting her?," right when M continued to not have her slap kicks very high. Ends up, she IS injured, and danced better at the Old Dominion Feis (the week previous; now M has a hip point contusion or something). Both girls ended up with similar placements at this feis, albeit a much higher percentage were "placed" (awarded) for Si's competition. M pointed this out just to me, then stayed silent about it, not wishing to diminish Si's moment that could have also been M's. She understands this.

It's harder to understand when M's own parent, her father C, won't watch her dance even when he shows up (the last two feiseanna he attended, he watched only Si's competitions, and never once watched a single one of M's competitions). M notices this, other parents notice this, but for M, mostly, it just plain hurts. Again.

I had agreed to drive M back from the hip hop / Irish dance rehearsal yesterday in part as it meant I had some extra time with her and could watch her rehearsal which I like to do. I get to interact w/ other parents, and know what M's thinking and feeling about the piece and how it's going for her. It's funny to hear the dancers descriptions, this is a vulture and this move like a monkey, and we have prairie dogs and........ other animals. It helps them laugh at this difficult complicated piece, that actually is looking like it'll be real good. Her dad, C, and the girlfriend, Sh, refused to have M have any activities during "their" time w/ M this summer, yet she won a spot on this piece via audition. She was excited about this, and it's part of what is keeping her in the performance dance company this year. If they're insisting she can only do this with switched time yet again (cue eyeroll), I will be supportive of M and share in this with her to an extent.

Enroute to the pool handoff ("I hate feeling like a piece of luggage,") she'd had a call with Al and a mutual girlfriend J from their former school. He's been in town visiting his dad for a lot of the summer, at first hanging with M yet now technically dating J's friend, who is now also a friend of M's, but eh something's not letting me know the full story. It's okay that I don't, I think. Even if she and Al are still close, talk a lot, go to movies and dinner he has started paying for. Also, he can get unintentionally pushy for their interpersonal styles differ. She deserves better but who am I to say; I'm "just" mom :) so I just remind her that she has a right to have a voice and be respected.

Me's also enjoyed more time with a best friend. This girl's also 15 (M will be within the week). Best friend who I've heard several times when no one remembered I could overhear or happen to see w/out trying to pry, is considering lesbianism, trying it out for herself with at least one relationship that's ended w/ her crushed. I see M and best friend hug each other, share secrets like close friends do, anyway. And I know M either will be a lesbian or won't be, or will be bisexual (she's too into guys, though, I think, to ever not have a continued interest in them, and I think in overhearing things that M and best friend are not romantic), and I just don't care. I want M happy, and their relationship is useful and helpful for both girls. They really benefit from each other.

And, with all the teenage angst she has, with all else I'm going through (serious work crisis; E and I are doing great), with the effect her relationships and a sickness had on her final grades and her emotional breakdown when she DID tell her dad and Sh that she didn't want to go there one last minute day and they, well, did get very mad about it, gosh.

Isn't that, ultimately, really, what everyone wants for his or her child, for said growing teenager into young adult "child," to simply feel loved, have at least one close friend to share secrets and angst, and to be HAPPY? I don't want her sullen; I want her to feel good about herself, I want her to stay loving her dance or whatever else she wishes to pursue that fits in, I want her respected and loved, to be healthy, and there is just too daggone much else going on in this world to be concerned about what gender a potential mate is; push comes to shove, and I just don't care. I want her HAPPY.

Do you really want the answer?

2009-06-04T09:01:00.000-07:00

You keep asking my daughter if she even wants to be [visiting] there with her dad, and you, and your child with her dad, i.e., my daughter's half sister 8 years younger.
You're not happy when she doesn't answer.
She's trying to be polite; she doesn't really wish to hurt your feelings (and is also a scared to speak it out loud to you).
Every time you ask her, she's that much closer to giving you the answer.
Please don't be mad at her when she does.

THIS explains Twitter.

2009-04-01T09:58:00.000-07:00

I knew I needed to learn more when E asked me what Twitter is. I've had some of you "gentle readers" tell me that they, too, Twitter, and invite me to follow them.

So, intrigued, I had figured out part of it. I knew that people can write short status reports and send them off to fans who sign up to receive them. I wasn't sure where I, as a potential fan, would go to in order to receive them (do them come to my e-mail, my Facebook, my blog, the poster's blog?). I think some people "Twitter" from their cell phones, but hey, I've yet to download music onto my combination cell phone/MP3 player, never mind access the internet and e-mail like my daughter can, and does. I like the short status comments on Facebook, hmmm, this has appeal. Maybe.

Then, yeah, this woman wrote fairly clear and detailed information on what Twitter is, and how to sign up. Wow. Even if, yes, its intention is for people who wish to follow Worlds. The World-level competition for Irish stepdancing will be held this April 5-12, 2009, in Philadelphia. Hey, you can now sign up for Twitter alerts:)

I just, maybe, gosh do I need something else, might, too.

http://iheartthatdance.blogspot.com/2009/03/extra-extra.html

So, stop on by, congratulate her on her pregnancy, and check it out.

Weekend: Part 1: Big Show, et al

2009-03-16T08:38:00.000-07:00

Summary: It was thee best "Big Show" show, ever, and I've seen them all. It DID rain on Sunday's parade, but it didn't dampen the enthusiasm.

Friday night:

Rush hour traffic TO the theatre for tech rehearsal wasn't good, but wasn't horrible. Such a beautiful, historical theatre; it even has a balcony. The girls checked out the small dressing rooms, yet with lighted mirrors, and a sturdy rod that went the length of the room which was great for hanging costumes. It was exciting to see their Irish Dance school name on the marquee, and M's photo on the wall-sized poster as advertisement. Visited a local Irish establishment with a dance dad (DAID) while waiting, who took a smaller poster to put in their window. C's office is nearby, so he'd stopped over and told me to pick up a town newspaper, as M's photo and a write up on "Big Show" and TCRG Ma was in it. Got texts from E's daughter about the "smaller town" parade Saturday morning. Seeing the dancers onstage still gives me such pride in them all. I picked up the tickets I'd ordered last December, put two back on hold in my mother's name, and worried that our 3rd row seats would be too close, oh well. Tech rehearsal ran a little over, but it'd run well. The 100 extra lightbulbs that'd been rented, were needed.

I took M home so she could prepare for Saturday and get some rest, then I joined E at a ceili in progress. This is our main Irish ceili and set dance groups annual St. Patrick's Day ceili. It's beginner and family-friendly, and the one M enjoys the most, where people "know her name," and have watched her grow up. She'd started her Irish dancing with this group. M's stepdance school often performs a short bit during break, but the owners of the small town venue complained of the hardshoes on their wooden floor, and the dancers had their tech rehearsal as a conflict, anyway. (Another of their school's performing group performed at the annual "big country club" gig, so yeah, one less stressor.) I was tired, but it was fun to get in the time there that I could, even the last dance of Haymaker's Jig. M enjoys that dance, and had planned to attend, originally. Even TCRG Ma exclaimed regret, "I love that ceili!" I got a call confirming the new time for dancers to meet up at the theatre tomorrow, and I texted with M to make sure she was getting to bed.

After I was home and walked Daisy, I pulled M's black jazz pants and yet another pair of black tights out of the wash, which M'd forgotten to do, in hopes they'd dry by morning.

Saturday:

Threw black jazz pants and black socks into the dryer for just a short bit. Called Mom about the tickets being in her name, which relieved her. I reminded her that my stepfather's seat has no one sitting in front of him, which should be great for his legs. I figured I'd tell Mom at the threatre that C's mother had asked ME, not him who lives in this town, to pick up a ticket for her. Ultimately, E would sit w/ his parents, and C's mother would sit with Mom, stepfather, and me.

M went to pack up her gold tiara for SO's daughter, and realized it can't work any longer for her old green velvet with gold sleeves solo dress. Previously, L's mom lovingly sewed a pink backing to M's gold tiara to match M's current solo dress, of pink, gold, and black. SO's daughter had borrowed M's green and gold dress to dance at Shamrockfest at RFK stadium, as she's between dresses. SO said the girl could wear her silver tiara and wig, instead. M's "Big Show" will use natural hair. Some girls were curling their hair, but apparently the latest thing is straightening hair. M was up early straightening hers, and going over her costumes again just in case. I left to pick up E and drop him off at the "town" parade; he's in charge of our main groups parades. His daughter brought her two boys, all decked out and excited. I hated missing it; I never miss this one. At least I didn't have to also find SO in the gatherings to pass off the tiara. All reports are that this one was fun and went well, like usual.

Helped M pack her basket and things into the car, and off to the theatre! This was dress rehearsal morning, with full colored lights and costumes and hair and makeup. One adult in the group had asked the newer girls how to apply makeup; they all needed assistance from the more veteran performers. Two girls just received their new, new-styled velvet dresses; one arrived that morning. It's interesting how each unique dress looks so wonderful on its owner when planned well. How beautiful, and how differently they'd look if on another dancer. I talked some with TCRG/Figures Teacher about the solo dresses, upcoming spring recital, and the figures choreography. The figures choreography piece is in "Big Show," and looks really great with their new school dresses. I waited until their opening number, which took a while as details were being set up and worked out first. Wow. All the time, all the driving, all the rehearsals and lessons, all their hard work and dedication, and us parents money. When these dancers come out in their fanciest competition costumes, i.e., the solo dresses for girls and vests and tie outfits for boys, and perform that opening hardshoe piece, it just takes your breath away. They looked great, and obviously love dancing it. It's just so worth it. I'm so proud of them all.

E was calling to see when I'd be back, as the town parade had ended. I hated leaving the dress rehearsal, yet, my day was only beginning. The parade after party, with our main dance group, was about to start. While I skipped the several versions of corned beef, I love the carrots and potatos and cabbage boiled along with the corned beef. And soda bread. And, specially made Irish coffee (rather weak this year but that's just fine). Some music, some hanging out, then off again. E's parents were driving up from northern Virginia, to his home. They're getting a little older, and were meeting us at E's home. (My mother and stepfather live in the older town where "Big Show" was being held.) The parking garage was PACKED as was the theatre, and we'd even arrived in plenty of time. My stepfather wasn't feeling well, unfortunately, but a friend of my mom's was able to use the ticket.

It was thee best show ever. I told TCRG Ma that, and she said, "The kids were on fire." Yes, they all were, just on top of it and into it, and THERE. No rainsticks breaking and b-b's all over the floor (that happened at their 1st run 2 weeks previous, but none of us in the audience could tell). My mother cracked up at the scene held in the Catholic school, Class Act, which was the intended response. Kitchen Jam is also a fun piece, and so full of details,

MORE TO COME

Within 6 words.

2009-02-02T06:47:00.000-08:00

"For sale: baby shoes, never worn." Ernest Hemingway's sentence is the example used by The Washington Post. It says everything necessary.

My favorite chapter is Frank McCourt's final chapter to his book, Angela's Ashes. I quote it in its entirety: "Tis."

Again, it says everything necessary.

The Washington Post is hosting a contest for St. Valentine's Day, in which people are supposed to summarize their lives (or, more specifically, their love lives), in 6 words or less. That got me thinking, how do I summarize beyond the forced brevity of a facebook status?

To help my daughter understand the assignment, I created this for her:

"He moved. I have internet." Or, "He moved. She has internet." Even if, primarily, they communicate via cell phone possibilities. Perhaps I'll tweak it.

For my late cousin:

"Singles dance. Husband waits, with gun."

For my beau:

"Waited, 6 years. I'm yours."

If you wish to play along, please add a note in my comments (either your 6 or less words, or a link to your blog), and send them to dating@washingtonpost.com
I'm curious:)

she's feising and I'm home

2009-01-11T09:13:00.000-08:00

The more nervewracking (sp) part is over. This is a new first time ever feis, that filled up quickly. Apparently there was a desire to feis in January, even with January typically being the coldest month of the year and this feis in Pennsylvania (west of Philly).

Many in M's Irish dance school are there, or, well, whom she knows and likes to hang with and/or support. There are also a few dance friends from other schools, just not as many as this IS a few hours away.

M left me a pair of bubble socks for the laundry earlier this week. What the heck -- is this -- mold? Ends up, the various shades of green eye makeup she had for while wearing her former solo dress, had ended up breaking apart and coloring a lot of formerly white items in her feis bag. Lovely colors, that yes, look like moss, or mold. It washed out, and I'd put them back in her feis bag, not realizing that's how they got dirty in the first place. Thankfully, this pair stayed clean, even while the others were fully green and, well, moldy looking lol. We didn't know until Friday afternoon that she was going to this feis, with mere minutes to pack her up.

Ice, sleet, wintery mix, all sorts of precipitation varieties were scheduled for yesterday through the night around 3:00 a.m. or so. Nicely, this venue is located off of highways, the weather was fine enough this a.m., still thin swirls of ice on some car windows here early a.m., but fine enough; M and I texted about 8:46 a.m. They were pulling into the parking lot. Good. Her competition was scheduled to be the third one in on her stage, and this should have, did, allow for sufficient time (the feis started at 9:00 a.m.).

Last night, she'd texted me, YEAH I FOUND MY INHALER. M's good, higher Rx one, had gone missing since a gig. Ugh, not good. I did find her chamber in her feis bag (usually kept with her dance shoes). L's mom had promised M could use L's inhaler today, but it's dosage isn't as good, and the chamber really helps her out. That M's main concern about her dancing this morning was not asthma related, is great.

So I waited, anxious and eager, I suppose, really wishing I was there to share with her, and watch her. Yes, I like hanging with the MAIDs (and DAIDs), and seeing the other dancers, too, but primarily, of course, I want to see how my daughter's doing. Even with her friends, and their MAIDs (a couple potential DAIDs), and opf course, M's half-sister's Mom there, who took M to this feis. It was good to hear she did as fine as I knew she could. Just, just, well, not being there was hard, especially while her particular competition was going on.

At 11:28 a.m., M was able to text me: "Finishd n stages r runnin well. [TCRG] said we did well [meaning her and L] but wit duct tape my hard shoe wuz muffled. [Cboy] lookd amazin."

So, great:)

They're likely finishing up lunch about now. Not sure if this feis is doing champion level awards throughout the day, or all at the end of the day. I'll find out, just, phew. The hard part is over. She hadn't really wanted to go, not feeling so great earlier in the week, etc. I'm proud of her:) And, I'm real happy that the biggest thing for her was not that she "died" (asthma problems), or other things, but the muffling of the sound of her hardshoe (hornpipe) dance.

and the new year will begin

2008-12-31T12:11:00.000-08:00

E and I worked it out so that I can spend a few extra hours w/ my daughter (hmmm, special NYE dinner should be in the works), and us still get to the NYEceili later on. She decided not to go up to my mom's after all. She loves to visit my mom, and my stepfather, but M's been away for a bit on Christmas/holiday break. We'll see my mom tomorrow, then. Today, it is good to be home.

Even I've enjoyed being home today, the intimacies of the cats lives (so that explains the demise of the basil plant E's mother lovingly gave me for Christmas), Daisy so happy to have her mommy (M) home, just being. I've spent much of my time busy with Christmas or working, and/or at E's. Perhaps I should take off NYE more often.

The new year brings about hope. Anything we could wish for is possible, right, like a new day, or a new week, or a new date. New challenges, too, of course, but hope for good possibilities and improving myself.

I go into this about to come new year knowing I should have enough money each month to pay my mortgage (not always a certainty in the past), w/ my dad's estate (or, well, lack of, really) still to run through the court for them to close out and hope perhaps I can still get my piano from Dad's place. Hope my mother's health will stay improving, and M's asthma will get an even better working management plan. Hope that wow, am I well, after having been sick with one thing after another straight through since August, sans one week only so I got my flu shot then. That I'll spend more time with my fluffy warm cats even if it snow squalls again outside. Hope perhaps I'll get a car, finally, and no more buses and sometimes using E's car, and seeing more of my friends again. I look forward to M's continued growth into a young woman, such as these couple days of asking for time to talk, and presenting a plan for a vacation this summer w/ friends, not family, and even asking her dad. And, then tears I won't be home w/ her tonight (I wish I was, too, honey), even though she nixed grandma visit. Hope for her to stay enjoying her teachers (really), doing well and learning at school, and in her activities. Hope I can get more exercise in (E thinks he'll get me running, um, that'd require sneakers and I'm paying off other bills and things first, albeit he promises he'll cut down on his smoking some if I start running some, hmmmmm, well, I can't only walk Daisy and dance). Hope for better environmental laws and regulations, and financial world to not dip too muchdeeper and for us to maybe start recovering, hope my own financial life will continue the slow trend towards better health.

The sun is in those last couple full hours before starting to set on this last day of 2008. Three kitties are with me now, albeit I've gotten time with all five today, and Daisy and the hermit crab, and M as she showed me her various friends on facebook, all whom she knows in real life, too, and most I know as well. It's a continium, time lapsing and moving on, yet we separate it so that we can do things like taxes and work hours and all that coordinates our lives with one another.

I'll spend this separation / continium with M, with E, and seeing my mother and stepfather (not sure what my brother's up to but we did talk last week). I suppose, really, those are who matter most to me right now, closer by. Chatting w/ my aunt, wishing I'd see my goddaughter again soon, etc. But, it's good to have a warm home base to move on from and return to. It's good to have possibilities, and hope.

Martin Luther King, Jr., birthday marks the anniversary of my grandmother's passing (or at least, whatever day it was honored 8 years ago -- I'm better at remembering the holiday name than the date). She was buried the day before our current President was first Inaugurated, so she who worked on Capitol Hill in her heydey presumably after her college years but I'm not certain, got to miss 9/11 there in her town of Arlington that her neighbors were part of, she got to miss the 8 years of Presidency under, sigh, "Dubya." She missed her youngest son's death last year, my father, and her youngest grandson, Ian's, wedding and marriage. She missed this winter so far as one of the warmest on record. Born Quaker in Georgia, her main flaw, oft disguised, was trying to overcome her prejudice for blacks, as she was a good Christian and all, dying a devout Methodist, and Democrat. I wonder if she'd ever imagine the day when a half-black, half-white man would be inaugurated as 44th? President of this united States. There is hope for more reconciliation for our country, too, not limited to blacks and whites.

Today is the anniversary of her husband's death, my granddad, from County Meath, Ireland, entering the U.S.A., via Venezuela, from Ireland. I remember him, and think what all he's missed, too, and us of him. My aunt and her husband are spending a quiet evening in, journaling, reflecting, including the passage of time and people such as my grandma and grandad, her parents, and my father / her brother, and his family, too.

It's a new day dawning within about 16 hours. A continium, yet fresh and new. What shall we fill our days with, what will our priorities be, our hopes and dreams worked on? Lord willing, may there be peace to all, including those servingour country who I really hopecan all come homesafe and sound, those who grieved this year for the loss of a loved one, too many have lost loved ones this past year or so, and while it gets easier no one says it gets easy.

Happy new year; enjoy some of your life. (The Eagles say, "some dance to remember, some dance to forget -- I've been doingboth this past 14 months and will again tonight.) I am grateful that I can dance, and hear the music and feel the beat, and it'll be fun.

talk about chilling.......

2008-12-23T09:36:00.000-08:00

A large water main broke down-county of me, earlier today. As in, huge amounts of water pouring out so much one person said it reminded him of the Potomac River itself. I know when M went to school this a.m., the temps had crawled up to approximately 15-17 F degrees outside, I think. This report said "in the 20's," um, they hope it was that warm. It's been downright frigid lately (but, phew, much less windy today, vice 'gusts up to 46 mph" yesterday).

While M is thrilled to get out of school 2.5 hours early, as too many schools had insufficient / no water levels and some heating problems, and "I'm finally really focused," on her English essay she really wants to be perfect even if that means sacrificing a deadling (sigh), to work on said essay, I'm very thankful that my cranky home heater does still heat (just not happily in THIS cold of weather), and that wow, I wasn't being washed away in torrents of frigid water.

Please see this Associated Press "raw" video, or maybe it's aol video. I can't seem to "save" it to imbed: http://news.aol.com/article/huge-water-main-break-traps-drivers/285977?icid=200100397x1215818043x1200999975

Thankfully, it should be in the mid-30's F later this afternoon, so it won't all be ice all day after it stops flowing (and my home heater will work with less protest). However, I'm not surprised to hear that many were treated for serious hypothermia, with water going over people's cars, while they waited their turn to be rescued in temperatures in the high teens perhaps low 20's. Brrrrrrr. I wish them all safe and healthy holidays, and quick responses on car insurance claims, et al.

I think I'll skip the idea of a Christmas Eve hike on the C&O Canal, this year. (Note for non-locals, the C&O Canal borders the Potomac River, as does River Road which is where this water main break occurred. The C&O Canal is I think 186.5 miles long? so I could pick an alternate spot along the canal, but I'll wait, anyway.)

my version of peppermint bark and attempt at Christmas

2008-12-19T08:59:00.001-08:00

My version of peppermint bark is below.

Because it's easy, and it's really good, and it doesn't have to be perfect, and it's pretty in Christmas colors. I'm told it also goes REALLY well with Smithwick's, which I didn't combine that particular evening as I thought I had a stomach bug, but I plan to next time I can. And they kept eating it the next morning, along w/ their daughters, and I'm to bring it to the next party, and M gave me that big toothy smile when she asked me PLEASE make some for her show choir school potluck party, and E kept going back and nibbling on it at the "big" ceili last January when I was noticing he really was single but we hadn't gotten together yet....... And I have to have some holiday spirit going on, I love Christmas spirit, I loved seeing Winter Lights with M again this year which is one of our traditions since it first opened up, and listening to the Christmas carols and songs, and laughing w/ M that the creche she received has little holly on the robes of most of the people, even the pink robe of the blonde-headed Wise Man, as if there was holly in the Middle East, and blonde-headed pink-robe wearing men, and some other giggliness we shared. Even if, well, I just cannot stop thinking of my dad. He got a Christmas card, or M saying yes, let's still have Christmas Crackers this year (in his honor), and finding his old sweater...... cuz, of course, Dad's still dead. And not seeing my mom even on her birthday this week as M and I were both just too sick and Mom can't risk catching a thing, nor could we see her last weekend when M and I were REALLY really sick, so we never got up Grandma's (Mom's) Christmas stuff for her, nor much of ours. And, yet if not for a stress test, Mom'd have had a heart attack, so 3 days in the hospital and heart work done, she's weak but missed, well, perhaps the heart attack and related risks, herself..... and thank you, Lord, that I'll see M on Christmas Eve (and Mom and my stepfather, Bob), but I still don't have a response from M's dad if it'll include time for a service or not, which is important to us, even if I've been warmly welcomed to E's large family gathering I'm excited for. And peppermint bark's easy and I really like it. And it can be helpful to go banging and hitting something, sometimes.

And I was asked for my recipe, um, it's not that hard, all, just melt chocolate, and add crushed peppermint, oh, and real peppermint extract. But, they wanted it written all day. Kay?

Robin's Peppermint Bark Recipe

Ingredients:
12 oz. of high-quality white chocolate chips (or just get a bag, get the better quality kind if getting from a craft store; if someone wants cocoa-chocolate, go for it, I just don't like that kind myself)
box of regular sized peppermint candy canes, crushed up (approx. 8-10 candy canes, preferably the traditional red and white striped, or the red, green, and white striped)
1/2 - 1 teaspoon of 100% pure peppermint extract (I use 1 teaspoon; I like my peppermint)

Method:
1. Break up peppermint candy into little pieces. Suggestion: Remove plastic wrapping from candy canes, and place them into a strong / freezer worthy (larger sized) plastic bag. Put the bag on top of a cutting board or other non-damageable hard surface. Whack the candy with the back side of a spoon, or another hard object such as a hammer.

I just find a spoon easy to handle quickly, and that unnamed tool I used of E's that started breaking, um, I put that back... Whack, whack. Hmmm, maybe a Smithwick's would go well with this process. :)

2. Melt the chocolate according to the manufacturer's instructions. The type I have used this winter has me put the unmelted white chocolate chunks/chips into a microwaveable (smooth, as in glass is ideal) bowl for about 1 minute. Stir.

3. Add peppermint extract (I need to verify the amount -- I think on the box of peppermint it says 1 tsp, but this recipe I saw said only 1/2, hmmmm, I prefer to TASTE it). Stir. Reheat if needed until everything's JUST melted. Sometimes if a few chips aren't fully melted, stirring will blend the heat in and melt everything else. It loses good texture if overheated or heated too often.

4. Pour the melted chocolate out onto a cookie sheet lined with wax paper. Spread out with a spatula or spoon. Sprinkle the peppermint candy chunks on to the chocolate and gently press them in either with clean hands or the spoon. It's okay if they get "buried" in the melted chocolate.

5. If desired, drop a couple drops of either red or green food coloring, and swirl the color into the chocolate with the spoon. If you want, stay sprinkling more crushed peppermint candies on top (swirl or press in).

6. Place in the refrigerator freezer for several (approximately 5) minutes or until hardened.

7. Break into pieces, and serve, or store in the refridgerator supposedly in an airtight container, but it gets eaten too quickly to have the airtight idea really matter that I've noticed.

basically, M did really well

2008-12-11T10:25:00.001-08:00

"We are so proud of you," said M's TCRG, and "Figures Teacher," aka, FT, after M had danced her Round 2 (reel).

Yes, me, too:) No matter how M placed, or even if she recalled, I was so proud of her for having danced so well for herself.

For the dancing competitions part, M had to dance a hardshoe, Round 1 hornpipe, which she was nervous for, then a softshoe, Round 2 reel. She recalled!!!!! the last competitor # called for recalls, which means that she had to go on to Round 3, or I should say, she got the honor of going on to Round 3. That took forever; she danced third to last out of the 62 dancers who recalled and now danced their set dance one at a time. Unfortunately, her good dance friend, L, did NOT recall. So often, their place very close together in their competitions, so this was not expected that one girl would place / recall, and the other would not.

Ultimately, M placed 43rd out of 124 competitors (134 dancers were registered, but, for example, one of their dance friends had a stress fracture and could not compete). This is fantastic for a first time solo Oireachtas competitor.

Their 8-hand team, well, it looked real good and was danced cleanly. No recall.

Their 4-hand team, WOW! the four girls were so excited, bouncing up and down, arms linked, while team numbers were being called, and theirs was not. They danced up in age group as one girl is older, with a total of I guess 44 teams (I think 46 were registered). They actually got 4th place. That is awesome:)

Their dance drama accomplished what TCRG hoped for -- a great team feeling to end the Oireachtas with, and good show entertainment for the audience. It was good, and fun, for the audience and all of the dancers. Unfortunately, a technicality had them place third out of three, but oh well. They all proudly and happily went onstage for their earned third place medals.

Ultimately, it's all good (except wishing L had recalled, also).

What does terpsichorean mean again?

2008-12-04T08:04:00.001-08:00

I plagiarized. Well, not sure if counts as plagiarism if one is given carte blanche approval to use it, verbatim if appropriate. My friend, Zebadiah Beaugard wrote a fake "excuse letter" in his blog, for aid in getting Irish stepdancers excused out of school for competitions. Being my child's name isn't Bridget, and she doesn't attend Piscayune School, I did modify it some. http://zandb.blogspot.com/2005/01/excused-absences-from-school-for.html

Z&B's sample focused more on a feis, which isn't so applicable for M as hers are primarily more local. She also didn't require one in previous years for attending the Southern Region Oireachtas (SRO). Two years ago, the SRO was held in Arlington, Virginia, closer to us than her dance studio is. Alright, awards run really late Sunday night so I think I let her sleep in and miss some of class that Monday. Last year, when SRO was in Atlanta, she didn't miss much school, either, as we mostly flew down and back. Hmmmm, she was in her wonderful private Montessori school back then, where an absence is assumed excused just don't take too many and please do inform the teacher in advance whenever possible. Perhaps we should have taken more time of last year.

This year, M is attending school at a local county high school. Montgomery County, Maryland, is a county with an overly strict attendance policy, with few things counting towards excusable absences. Like a death in the immediate family, or illness of the student him or herself (doctor's note can be required), or college visits. Even horrid traffic does not count (for being tardy), like it does in another Maryland county. I figured that with M being a freshman, and us not actually visiting any college campuses on this trip (SeaWorld doesn't really count as a college no matter how career-oriented the visit truly is for M, and goddaughter, LEL, will come up from her Miami college campus to visit us, not us visiting her), I couldn't quite say it's a college visit. If traveling with a sports team representing the school, that's an excused absence. Um, not workable for M. The choreography for an Irish stepdancer is specific to his or her particular Irish stepdance school. Even other Irish stepdancers, if any, in her high school, couldn't be on a team with M unless they attended the same Irish dance school. Unfortunately, any unexcused absence means a teacher does not need to allow a student to make up any work missed (ouza on the grade drop potential in THAT), and too many unexcused absences also means a loss of credit. Too many times walking in at the last bell counts as tardy and can also mean a loss of credit. Sigh, as M's dad continues to get her to school late from his home, different issue in a way, but I can't risk M's attending this year's SRO have her unexcused absences add up to, yikes, loss of credit.

I'm not faking a doctor's note, nope, no way, besides, M wanted to be upfront. Seems many others in MCPS will say they're sick, eh, let's try honesty and hope it works. Our first time trying this, I pulled out all the stops, just in case. I heard after the fact that M's GPA alone will likely give her a fully-excused pass. That's good for M, but I wish that others with, say, a C average, would get an excused absence for their well-rounding experience, too.

Seems the attendance officer didn't care to read it, just took my word that it's for a sports competition out of town, and gave M an excused pass to leave school early this Friday. However, the principal, who'd been away, was to review my letter this a.m., and hopefully, give her stamp of approvel, and get it passed to each teacher to sign off on M's assignments or something. Think the principal'll think I'm laying it on a mite thick? It IS all true......

Note I happened to fail to mention the 2 extra days, for SeaWorld, and Disney. Yep, this is our Christmas, and our summer vacation, it's our one big time all year I've been saving and scrimping for...... but I don't need to relay that.

"Dear [principal name]:

This is to inform you, and whomever else it may concern, that 9th grader, [name, should have included student #] will be absent from school from (time) this Friday, December 5th, through Wednesday, December 10th, 2008. She will be traveling to compete at the Southern Region Oireachtas in Orlando, Florida.

An Oireachtas is, essentially, regionals for Irish stepdancing. The Southern Region includes Mexico and Texas, to Florida, and north to Maryland. It's an ethno-cultural, educational event for the highest level of competitive Irish stepdancers. It is a great honor for her to be chosen to represent Maryland, and of course our county and high school, while carrying on and experiencing her cultural heritage.

The primary purpose of this event is to advance the understanding and appreciation of Irish cultural identity, heritage, and traditions, through the use of various media. There will be enrichment-based activities such as art displays, live musicians playing traditional Irish music, foreign language, costumed dance, and drama competitions.

M[name] herself will be competing in traditional costumes to hornpipes, and reels, and a traditional handed-down-for-centures set dance [decided not to say her set is called Drunken Gauger]. She is also scheduled to compete on three teams; two teams are to dance to very traditional choreography, and the third team competition is a dance drams. They will use traditional steps and music to dance out a story related to a traditional Irish theme. M[name] will be demonstrating her competency and interpretation of certain terpsichorean aspects of Irish folk traditions. A panel of adjudicators (usually three at a time), will evaluate these presentations and provide guidance and feedback to our [name], as regards to her demonstrated expertise and proficiency.

our aim is that this absence from class does not affect [name]'s academic performance (which currently is at the 4.0 GPA [name of honors program] level). We also hope it'll expand her knowledge and what she can bring to her involvement in the [name of International club at her high school which sponsors the diversity show] at [HS name]. Please let me know if she will need to complete any assignments before she leaves. I'll make every effort to ensure that [name] completes her schoolwork while she's away, and as appropriate, after her return.

Please e-mail me at [two e-mails given for me], with any of [name]'s assignments, or with any other information. Thank you for your cooperation and understanding.

Sincerely,
[my name and signature]"

It really is, primarily, an athletic competition, a "major," as the Irish stepdance world refers to it as. But, it is also an educational and cultural experience. Some people don't see dance as a sport, somehow, but this is the only sport M's ever done, other than running, which requires her to use her inhaler when she's working really hard. It's dance, it's cultural, it's heritage and ethnic, it's beautiful, and it's a sport.

Of course, she has a performance tonight, as she auditioned for and yeah got in to her high school's Show Choir. They'll dance and sing to "Circle of Life" for the Winter Choral Concert. Very lovely, just, gosh. At least she's kept up her grades, and rehearsals and practices (she's worked really hard), and other than an illness earlier this week that she's re-gaining her strength from, that I now have (ironically, I share symptons with both M, and with E's ex-wife, um, did we catch it from his adorable 1-year old grandson?), her tailbone isn't too much of a bother even after having kicked it again, she could use more sleep, but I think she'll be okay. Just wish her first competition wasn't at check-in 7:00 a.m. Saturday!

I'm hoping it's a really good time:) and hope to get computer access for updates on my Irish dance blog, i.e., http://myirishdanceblog.blogspot.com/ Yeah, okay, so her particular solo costume is not as traditional any more, her new school dress still is!

p.s.: terpsichorean means of or related/relating to dance.

Friday Fill-In

2008-11-21T14:21:00.000-08:00

1. The last band I saw live was: Jesse Winch, his talented brother, and another really good Irish-music musician, at a fundraiser where Pat Garvey also played, and bagpipers, I should look up which group.

2. What I look forward to most on Thanksgiving is it being over (albeit, I'm thankful for E and his family welcoming me so; M will be away, maybe I'll see her in her running race, however).

3. My Christmas/holiday shopping is postponed, per usual, until the paycheck closest to Christmas, most likely, with some of it in the after-Christmas sales, really, as sigh, M's not with me this year.

4. Thoughts of Oireachtas practice schedules and related details fill my head.

5. I wish I could wear a bikini again (not since I was 42 oh well sigh).

6. Bagpipes are awesome, sometimes haunting, sometimes celebratory, the large kind or the small kind, uillean pipes I *think* those are called. Oh, yeah, and best when played by guys with kilts on ;)

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to no set plans yeah, tomorrow my plans include a ceili that E and I will take two of his grandsons to, and Sunday, I want to see M's half-sister, Si, in her play but who knows if I'll be able to or not!

This is the post with the original inspiration for Friday Fill-In's: http://fridayfillins.blogspot.com/ but I found it on CW@sMom's blog here:
http://cw2smom-wearinmyheartonmysleeve.blogspot.com/2008/11/friday-fill-ins.html

Faith Factor

2008-11-21T12:57:00.000-08:00

Faith Factor, live on tour in Germany, November 2008, with the song, Deliver Us From Evil. Look for their cd, Against the Darkened Sky, at http://www.Target.com

Go to this link here for the video (ah, it'll be loud): YouTube - Faith Factor - Deliver Us From Evil (live '08)

Or, http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNFW_Oqaaqw

Trying again to imbed this:

She kicked (her) butt.

2008-11-19T08:53:00.000-08:00

"Irish dancers kick butt." It's not just a bumpersticker; it's the truth. Usually, it's a good thing when Irish stepdancers kick their butts. The aim of most good Irish stepdancers it to literally kick their behinds while executing certain dance steps.

(Some Irish ceil and set dancers may kick rather high, most don't but some do, and some dancers do both styles of Irish dancing, but for the most part, kicking ones backside is NOT a goal nor aim for most of us ceili / set dancers. Thankfully!)

Last night, OHBoy was told that he needed to kick his, hmm, feet, heels, ?, up higher, at his butt, not down low, when he does a particular turn in his dance. I'm sure that there's a fancy name for it.

The other week, I was watching the dance class that my daughter, M, assists in. One of her friends was wearing a long, yellow t-shirt over her shorts. there was a greyish-black mark on the back of her shirt. Then I notice, that every time she danced certain steps, her hardshoes kicked her backside, and left a mark. Ha, proof to the teacher that this girl really was kicking her butt!

So, of course, M kicks her feet up behind her, and hits her backside. Except last night, somehow, M kicked herself right in the center on her tailbone. In her hardshoes. The tip of her hardshoes smacked her tailbone.

E called me as M and I were coming home. We commented on how wicked cold it had gotten suddenly (19F where he was traveling, and 29F at home, to drop more as night wore on), and how warm Florida sounds. "Of course, but how come you're comparing this to Florida?" I had to remind him, "The Oireachtas is in Florida this year."

Anyway, "How'd practice go?" "Oh, good, well, except that M kicked her tailbone." E, laughing, "I can see how that could happen." M looked over at me, trying to move herself up and out of the car, wincing, "OWWW!"

M told me this a.m. that normally she'd just see how it goes, but "with Oireachtas 3 weeks away...." Her face showed enough worry, that I didn't correct her, that the SRO is really just over 2 weeks away now. She can walk, but she's still in pain this morning, and poor kid, she'd really hoped to get her in to see the doctor today. Tomorrow is the first orthopaedic appointment I could get for her. This is with the same wonderful doctor she was referred to when she kicked her own ankle, and bruised her ankle bone. I didn't even know a person could bruise a bone. The doctor estimated 3 months to heal, no restrictions but DO keep it protected from further kicks. Yeah, it should be done healing in time for the Oireachtas, if she didn't kick it again Monday evening, "just" doing drills so she hadn't put on her protective brace yet. And now, potentially bruising a tail bone. Agh.

No more horseback riding for a while, M.

UPDATE: The bone is actually bruised. It hurts her a bit less, she's to try to avoid things that aggravate it (like sitting on hard chairs, um, 6 hours in school 5 days a week), and she can ice it after activity such as dancing. Oh, and he was happy I'd canceled her riding lessons for several weeks. Hopefully, she won't be too much more sore after a dance rehearsal this evening, but somehow, unless she re-kicks it in that incorrect spot, I think she'll be fine. Ouch!

Tagged, part two (I'm real, really)

2008-11-18T10:34:00.001-08:00

Thanks, Sheria, for honoring me with the "Let them eat cake" Marie Antionette, a Real person, a Real award, award. Wow, very cool, and I love the great company. The Examined Life: Thank You, Indigo

Here are the Rules for the Award:

1. Please put the logo on your blog (I tried, really. My computer wouldn't allow that.)

2. Place a link to the person from whom you received the award

3. Nominate at least 7 or more blogs

4. Put the links of those blogs on your blog

5. Leave a message on their blogs to tell them.

The hardest things are copying over that photo/visual, and chosing (new) people! So, pretend I copied over the photo, kay? My pc won't let me do that.

Ah, I love highlighting others -- so -- great writers who are oh so real, include:

Merujo, a fellow Montgomery Countian with so much inside of her: Church of the Big Sky ;

Fred (because this doesn't have to be just women, does it?) -- catch his new blog on blogger and fascinating stories here: Drunk in the Shadows of Reflections;

Emily who seems to be re-emerging and re-creating her identity, while has likely always been a great writer: Two Write Hands (and two left feet);

Helen, another intelligent single mom, career woman, trying to do it all with an ailing parent to boot (okay, so I like to think of myself as intelligent, amuse me by agreeing, thanks): Life, thoughts. Yeah, life thoughts.;

Winievere who is about as real and warm and positive as they come, with great tags, too: Woman in the Glass Box;

Dan, yep another man, who lends his camera lens and random amusings from the mid-west, to help make it through the day, The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind (he's busy working on his blog, so go bug him and make him work ha);

my dear friend, Amy, yet another intelligent single mom, career woman, trying to do it all with three young boys, including a quite differently abled kid (not sure if hers is private?), talk about real, Odd Mom Out.

This went quickly -- I reserve the right to add more later -- Rebecca and Indigo and Sheria have been bestowed already, where did I put Lisa's blog link, Kathi's, Guido's, oh heck.....?, etc. Yes, I am enjoying this continued and evolving blogging / journaling community, even while I miss a few. Thanks for the prod, and nomination, Sheria.

also Tagged, part one

2008-11-18T10:11:00.000-08:00

I needed a push of motivation myself, so am taking Emily up on her "anyone who wishes to be tagged, is," meme. Two Write Hands (and two left feet): Tagged. Hey, I can come up with random thoughts with the best of them (you can stop laughing and nodding now).

1) The frost this morning looked quite feathery, like feathered paisley etchings, on some of the cars. Adding -- it's snowing, it's snowing! Okay, flurries, but that counts.

2) I have to get a note to M's school, by today, saying she was sick last week and hence please excuse her for being "tardy" one day. She was sick last week, but more so the week previous, and enough to have her struggling to stay on top of all that blasted homework, but that's not why she was late. Her dad got her there late, again; she was in tears telling me. Argh. Too many times, and it's an excused absence which leads to "loss of credit." She can't lose credit because of him getting her there late, so I'll say, "M was sick on date x. Please excuse her for being late to school." They can imply that the two sentences correlate if they so desire. I dislike lying. I dislike her being penalized for something out of her control, more. Adding -- I blogged and hence didn't get to her school dagnabbit.

3) My latest favorite song is Plain White T's, One thing I need, To do, Three little words, For you, I love you (one, two, three, four). It's perceived simplicity is a bit Beatlesque, sans when PWT's harmonizes as I don't recall the Beatle's ever doing barbershop. I hope I'm as delighted with this song 6, 8, 12 months from now and not sick of it.

4) Off and on, I consider making my boyfriend, E, a cd of songs I think of him when I hear. I have a couple definite's I'd include, and some I don't think are a style he'd like. I'm not quite sure how to go about making one, and debated enlisting help from his one daughter, but I'm thinking she'd think it weird and icky to know the romantic love songs her dad's girlfriend wanted to give to her dad.

5) I'm not actually farsighted. My eyesight is changing, but not sufficiently to read logos on planes, usually. I can't read the big signs on the aisles in grocery stores if they're hung in the middle of the aisle, and not on the ends (even with my eyeglasses on). I didn't write that entry very clearly, apparently. No airplane of that size has ever been that low to the ground above my buildings that I've seen.

6) I'm starting to enjoy this new version of blogging community. So, thanks, Emily, and, thanks to Sheria for my next entry..... and Kathi for my next to next entry when I get that far. And, did I mention -- it's SNOWING!

if I can read the logo, is that plane too close?

2008-11-07T08:25:00.000-08:00

How come I can't read the bottle of pain reliever, but I can read the logo on the airplane?

Yeah, I know I'm middle-aged now, even turned another year older this week (I teased E that now I'm only 14 years younger than he is -- he knows, finally, that I don't care about that).

Yes, I have bifocals on order. They've been waiting until I have the additional $166. to pick them up, while my DD has her various needed medical appointments (okay, and I did have a couple). Yes, my current eyeglass prescription is actually fairly close. Yes, I'm keeping the same frames, as it's cheaper and they're a bit wide but otherwise good. Sigh, even if I've had a few people remark how similar they are to a particular Alaskan governor's eyewear.

I can't see a clock on the bedside table unless the numbers are of sufficient size, i.e., large. I keep my cell phone handy, and use that to check the time (and, as an alarm. Someday I'll figure out how to use it as an Mp3 player, too, which it also is).

I can, normally, until this week, read most anything if it's close enough to my face. WithOUT eyeglasses even. I may require more lighting then I cared about in my younger days of say, my 30's. I just retested, yep, get it in my face and I can read anything legible in a language I know. Most of my life, since elementary school, I've been nearsighted.

So, how come even with my glasses on, I cannot quite read much of anything on the bottle of Aleve that E gave me. (I'm out of ibuprofen, and sick. Again. Okay, more like chronically sick but it's swung to worse levels again. Taking ibuprofen has really helped my pains and fever so I can sleep.) I'm not sure if it's the tiny print, the bright blue on white contrast with a sloping (curved bottle) label, or what. I took just one last night, and none yet today because I just can't tell, i.e., fully read the information. I just tried it again, nope. Is it the bright flourescent lighting, or the itsy-bitsy print? (Thankfully, the bottle is openable. I used to hand over my "childproof" capped bottles to my then young daughter, for her to open easily for me whenever I couldn't, and I usually couldn't. We both struggled recently over a Scope travel-size bottle.) Adding: later today, it was easier, somehow. But on the front where it says noproxen sodium, has got to be some of the tiniest font I've seen. Isn't this bit of information important? I thought Aleve was ibuprofen; obviously, it's not. Only as it said "strength to last all day," did I decide one might be enough. That font's legible (and larger). Oy. (I'm buying ibuprofen again, today!)

So on this gorgeous fall day, just brisk enough to feel really good on my warm skin this morning, I was walking Daisy. The leaves brilliant and coloring the grass, the air still a bit moist from recent rains, the plane shining a bit pink in the early light. Wait, how come I can see this plane so well. Hmmm, it's a FedEx plane, an orange and purple logo, etc. I can read this fairly easily albeit it was partially as I recognized the logo, partially as I could make out the letters. Daisy stayed sniffing about, certainly gathering information as to which dog had done what where, and if rabbits or deer or Joshua the cat had wandered by. I thought of the dawning sun tinting things rose-colored while watching this airplane fly slowly by.

Wait. How come I can read that? It's THIS close to me?! Slowly by at a very low, way too low, altitude for where it likely came from.

It'd be nice, but I know my eyesight isn't getting quite THAT good. At one point in my life, apparently shortly before the need for bifocals, ones eyesight can improve before switching again..... I just know I've hit 47 years old, the same age as our President-elect, Senator Barack Obama. I never see him wearing eyeglasses. Hmmm.

FYI -- it could reach 74 F degrees today, here. I pity South Dakota, with over 4 feet of snow and high winds (I heard 60 mph, the mail courier heard up to 100 mph wind). Then mail courier and I got discussing the pros and cons of snow. I don't want it YET, but I do love it.

Glen Echo: summer and other memories (repost)

2008-10-31T14:12:00.001-07:00

I was Sir E's guest at a lovely summer wedding. This is a reposting from my "unedited" (private I'm thee only reader not ready for prime time) journal. Except the daggone photo isn't working.

On a dentzel carousel horse ride at Glen Echo at a wedding the end of June. Naturally as the ride ended, and E got off of his horse to come by me for the photo, my horse went up and up and up again. That's why he looks so much shorter on here. I'd like to photoshop this or something and move him up beside me more in the photo.

My father used to go to Glen Echo Amusement park often as a youth, even integrating the crystal pool (swimming pool) when he covered briefly for his friend who had to step away from taking tickets or whatever. (It was not allowed at that time, but was later.) Dad would take my brother and me there when we were children. The place has been renovated over time, and by the time my daughter, M, was little, we'd take her there, the playground and theatre and artists yurts. Then I'd take her. We saw Cinderella puppet plays repeatedly; she took calligraphy camp; we'd play in and alongside the creek. It felt really fitting to be there at this wedding as E's guest, waltzing with him (in the bumper car pavilion, as contra dancing was going on in the renovated Spanish ballroom), and then riding one of the few remaining original dentzel carousels, THIS carousel, Dad's carousel, with the player piano music and repainted ceilings and animals. On my brother Doug's birthday, albeit he never did respond to my birthday card I'd sent him, with notes. Oh, plus this picture turned out, so good (i.e., we both look good, I like how my outfit of pink and silverish turned out). And E liked my pink flirty shoes I actually waltzed in before I changed shoes for more Irish dancing, the lovely bride being a musician in the Irish dance world, it was FANTASTIC music). lol.

Kaput.

2008-10-31T10:19:00.000-07:00

They're gone.

Maybe it happened at noon, Eastern (U.S.) time. I don't know.

After midnight, I checked; my AOL journal was still there. As if I was staying up late with a friend you know isn't going to make it the next 24 hours (except, to be honest, I'd MUCH rather have this go, than an actual friend / family member, et al, and there isn't anywhere near the same emotional angst and all that; I still find that somewhat analogous, kay).

I checked this a.m. -- normal. Some comfort in that, some "when will the foot drop?" Now, it has. (Tune in the dirge; I recommend Laura Byrne Egan's air entitled "Och nan Och.")

Billy may never come "home," after all (we'll stay waiting and hoping)

2008-10-23T10:03:00.000-07:00

My mother and my aunt Vesta spent a few days in D.C. last week, for a conference where they spent time learning a lot about those who served and died in the Korean War. As Vesta came down from Maine, where my mother and her family are from, her plane fare was paid for.

That first night, my daughter M, boyfriend E, and I joined Vesta and Mom for dinner and socializing. Interestingly, the Cafe Italia was only a few streets away from my late (paternal) grandmother's house in Arlington. If I can figure out how, I may add a photo later. We went to the upper tower of their hotel to view the D.C. skyline before we left.

The next day, their conference settled in for business, including a meeting just with Mom and Vesta on Billy's case. Previously, Mom (and her two surviving siblings, both sisters), provided DNA samples, per request, in hopes of making a match with his remains. My mother said that the overall conference was a lot of information to take in, a lot of good information, just a lot to absorb.

I *think* I have this info correct, from information she relayed last Sunday:

My late Uncle Billy, aka, William Edward Douglas (he listed himself, and his two youngest sisters i.e., Mom and Vesta, with the family name of Douglass), died as a teenaged POW in the Korean War in 1951. He was apparently in Camp 5. My mother said that there were 512 cemetaries in Camp 5. That's a LOT. That the U.S. Government has received 218 boxes. I'm not clear how large these boxes are, and they sounded as if they were not from the area where Billy had been. They do, however, contain many body parts. Jumbled together body parts. The DNA experts could take up to a year (or longer) to know more, having to piece together skeletons. A leg bone may or may not belong with a hip bone.

After all these years, it's encouraging to have any information, any hope. It also gets my mother talking a little bit more about him which has been so difficult over the years. Just, well, it's a slim hope.

1 year

2008-10-07T08:34:00.000-07:00

I don't know how many others remember that October 8th was the date we "observed" Columbus Day last year. Beth and I did. Maybe my brother Doug did; he actually called me but I just couldn't bear to answer.

It was late morning. I'd seen him earlier, then helped at M's school for several hours. I'd just missed him, it seems, albeit I'm told there was about a 95% chance of not surviving, anyway (and then, well, not exactly quality).

E took his two local grandboys and me tubing late summer. I didn't connect until we were there that we were headed to Harper's Ferry, my father's favorite location of favorites. Okay, I felt ready, and was glad I was sharing it with him, and even then. Continuity of life, open up this part of the world, historically, geographically, etc., to new eyes. Until I saw the postcard, the photo of Jefferson Rock. It was in the small restaurant where we had a great lunch. THAT rock, that's Jefferson Rock, and it's HERE? One of my good memories was of Dad and I camping, and he'd taken photos of me with my then very long hair, at that rock. I would recognize that rock anywhere, just didn't realize it was at Harper's Ferry. After my moments, we toured some more, including to that rock. Jefferson was correct that the view from there was worth the voyage over the Atlantic (paraphrasing).

I did talk "with" Dad this morning, as apparently did my aunt Beth, too. He's still in his beautiful wooden box, on our table. Maybe it's time for him to fly, be released...... maybe this 3-day weekend, fall and all.

I miss him.

update: I did edit this to say October 8th, from October 7th. Somehow it's letting me edit this NOW, but not previously. It was nice to see E for about 10 minutes at lunchtime, him asking how my day was going, I looked forward to that. It still is hard to NOT have my dad around. And, now I know in advance the very very sweet thoughts and actions of Mary and Amelia, which I quite appreciate:)

Tags: Dad

a new year

2008-10-01T13:51:00.000-07:00

A new year.

A school year still new, with only just over a month into it. With two new clubs (Equestrian Club which focuses too much on competition for M's strong interest as she likes to ride and train and be with horses for the fun of it, too, and Show Choir, which she had to audition for -- the dancing portion she choreographed while waiting in line to go in lol -- and she made it), and tons of students at a school so large, she got lost on the wrong floor by mistake even today (quickly figured out). Meaning, also,

a new dance-school year, and new schedules and friends and such.

A Rosh Hashanah (sp).

Almost a year since my father's passing.

Which means not too much longer until a new year of my life, with a new season. I love autumn, which is beginning with the mini red leaf on green grass, and tinges of yellow in the trees. It always seems like the real start of a new year to me. Maybe the Jewish are on to something here.

A new fiscal year.

A new half-year for E and me. Hey, I can count half-years, too. :) It's almost all good, and that's great.

Stocks market crash and attempt to rebound; AOL gives away it's journals. Shaking my head. (I can't even read blogger blogs from my main computer, so this isn't going to work so well for me.) And yet while I stay both reflective and absorbed in the midst of my IRL life and M's and E's, and also having been sick for about a month I suppose, etc., I didn't wish AOL to think this journal of mine was inactive so I had to post SOMETHING! I may as well not try to post an image, eh? AOL photos is going away, too.

A new year.

Tags: AOL journals; new year, E, M

what remains, perhaps maybe can finally come home?

2008-09-03T13:44:00.000-07:00

My mother wrote me this morning. She and her sisters (the surviving siblings of my uncle Billy) "have been contacted by a man who works for the Army. His job is to contact next of kin of those who died in Korea. After talking to each of us, he will send his report to the Army and they, in turn will send us DNA kits, which we return to the Army. The Army is trying to match DNA's with soldiers' remains from Korea.

This man was interesting, he had really done his research, knew most of our history and even had a picture of me from the (name of school Mom attended) school. Didn't have pictures of (two sisters), since my name was on some of Billy's paperwork he concentrated his serve on me, mostly.

Anyway, it exciting to think we could possibly have some of Billy's remains to bury. In almost every letter he wrote, he mentioned that all he wanted to do was come home. I pray that will happen."

I pray that, also.

For those who don't know, my Uncle Billy signed up to serve in the Korean War when he was actually underage (which I believe is part of why some of his official paperwork has his last name slightly misspelled). He was trying to keep enough money coming in to pay the foster home people to keep my mother and her youngest sister from being adopted out (they also stayed with their maternal aunt Anais for a bit). I think. Their mother had died of a chronic disease when my mother was just 9 years old; their father was able to get himself back on financial track, et al, sufficiently to bring the girls back home (and at some point he remarried).

My Uncle Billy, William Edward Douglas, was captured and kept as a Prisoner of War (POW), and died as a POW. I believe he died in 1951. His tour in Korea may have been the only time he was ever out of the state of Maine, or the neighboring states and Canada.

Mom says that, "I talked with the guy this morning and mentioned that on Billy's birth certificate his name is spelled Douglas. He told me that he had already mentioned to the Army that Douglas could be spelled two ways. So, it shouldbe ok. And, we can ask that the records show the correct spelling." Last time I visited the Korean War Memorial on "the" Mall (Washington, D.C.), Billy's last name had an extra "s" in it, and that's how it shows currently in the online records. Just NOW they've added, in red, a DOD alert requesting family DNA samples. http://www.dtic.mil/dpmo/

Can Billy really possibly ever come home? Is there still real honest hope that his remains even be identified? It seems as if North Korea is so closed off from allowing return of soldiers remains, and the years get longer. Time passes by. This would be great.

I waved to the Korean War veterans on Monday, towards the end of the Labor Day parade I'd also been in. I lost my POW/MIA pin over a year ago; I used to wear it in Billy's honor anytime I was in a parade. http://www.koreanwar.org

May all who serve, or who have served, come home, preferably alive and whole, of course.

Tags: Uncle Billy; William Edward Douglas, Korean War, POW, Mom

"hot" Governors

2008-08-29T13:53:00.000-07:00

So the presumed Republican candidate for U.S.A. President has chosen his running mate for the position of Vice President, the current Governor of Alaska. One thing I've read about Governor Pilan is that Alaska has a bumper sticker that says "cold state, hot Gov," with some saying that they have thee hottest Governor.

Hmmm, I don't know about that -- perhaps it depends which way someone swings; I can see how people could find her physically appealling. Just saying, I've covered this previously -- our Governor is cool:) (link to my post from LAST September about Governor O'Malley). Yep, I think MY state Governor Martin O'Malley is "hot," in his own way. She fishes and hunts moose, nicknamed barracudda (sp); he plays guitar in a Celtic rock band. Hmmm. Then again, Mr. Pilan is quite the looker himself, half Eskimo and all ;)

I can't talk politics here, so sue me (for not talking seriously about politics and this latest momentous occasion in this years amazing Presidential race, besides, my political thrill is really Senator Obama's policies and prose right now, and Senator Barack Obama, and also Vice Presidential candidate Joe Biden (Delaware) seem a good ticket for me).

Tags: Pilan, Obama, Biden, O'Malley

survey from Win

2008-08-11T15:07:00.000-07:00

I have so many thoughts perculating in my mind right now and over the past couple weeks. Perhaps I'll even get them coordinated sufficiently to jot them down:) In the meantime, I was catching up on a couple of my favorite journals, with many others to go, and came across this survey in Winievere's. Taste LIFE While we're at it, I'm thinking of her at "camp" this week -- I do believe that God has a purpose for her to be there, working with youth which is a speciality of hers, I hope she and they have a fantastic time, and I hope she is able to find employment again shortly after.

Who was the last person or object you shared beds with? E, naturally, and Daisy (the beagle dog). Wait, or object? Ha, um, no. Unless you count pillows and sheets and a blanket as objects. My cell phone's nearby as it's my alarm clock, but I don't share a bed with it.

What was your last fight about and with who? I can't stand fighting. E is so nicely NOT dysfunctional, compared to most others, that we'll talk things through (wow), and we're both respectful and laid back so not too much even bothers either of us. But I am trying real hard not to fight with M's father and his long-term girlfriend, Sh, right now, trying to work things out and just be civil and normal.

Do you consider yourself a neat freak? No. I like to be organized, I rather need things to be to help me function, and I do like things to be clean, but actually BEING organized? No.

Do you have anyone's clothes? Yes. I saved a couple of my dad's t-shirts that were my favorites when I gave away the rest of his give-awayable clothes, a t-shirt of E's I accidently brought home that I mean to return, the wedding dress of my mother's, and the dress my late grandmother wore to my mother and father's wedding. (THAT one I have worn, too, but I'll never fit into my mother's wedding dress, being she was 90ish pounds at the time.) Well, and Grandma's bathrobe, too, which I'd saved to buy for her and I really liked.

What's your relationship with the person you last texted? I'm her mother. :)

Do you have a fish tank? Yes, two.

Last place you took a plane to? Atlanta, last December for the Southern Region Oireachtas, with my daughter, M.

Would you tell a stranger if they had spinach in their teeth? Depends if I thought that they could do something about it "privately" or not.

If you found out you couldn't have kids, would you adopt? If I wanted more kids, and was with a partner who did, also, I wouldn't rule it out. Mostly, I suspect having E's grandkids will fill my need for a while, or if not E's, still someone else's, until my own daughter is MUCH older and has a child or two of her own. It's not so likely for me to have any more children of my own, biologically, adopted, or step-parented; even while I do like kids, I feel "done."

What is your preferred method of birth control? That's not really up for public discussion now, is it. The important thing is to utilize something if having sexual relations and not wanting to become pregnant (or if a male, not wanting to impregnate).

Have you ever lied about your age? Not when it matter, i.e., if it's some online survey thing, I always fudge it slightly, as that's personally-identifying information, but in real life or, say, dating someone new type thing, who cares? I am who I am, so no, why lie about something like that. (Seems I'm a rarity for not lying about my weight on my driver's license, either, except last time but only as the guy looked at me like I wasnuts for wanting to change it to be more accurate, as well, I've gained, and he wouldn't let me change it.)

Ever had an encounter with the police? I feel like writing, "Define encounter." LOL. Hey, haven't most of us who've ever driven gotten a speeding ticket or a warning, gone through a sobriety checkpoint (proven sober, mind, I do not drink and drive)? Actually, I've had neighbors and friends who are police officers, so shrug, yes, depending upon ones definition of "encounter." I've never dated one.

Last time you went out of town? Yesterday. Oh, explain it? Delaware for a feis -- with great trophies and really good stages for grade levels and champion level competitions, btw. M was very happy to have placed, 13th and L was 14th, also happy. I'm glad they both enjoyed it so, supporting not only each other but their "feis friends" from other schools, too, and of course Si and other dance school friends.

Whose car were you in last? E's.

Who do you most look like in your family? My brother, just the female version, and I've used sunscreen and moisturizer over the decades and he hasn't type differences.

Have you kissed someone with braces? Not for a really REALLY long time! Or, was I the one in braces, and the guy wasn't? I don't even remember.

Do you have a hard time admitting you're wrong? Not usually. I don't like to if I really care about how someone thinks and feels about me and I'm afraid he won't like it so much, but otherwise, not usually, no.

Do you like to travel by plane? Yes, except for the packing and luggage bit -- worried about traveling with M's solo dress this December with all the new regulations for carry-on baggage, and that has to be carried on.

Did you get enough sleep last night? No, but more than the previous night.

Have you ever made out in a bathroom? Sure. ADDING A NOTE: to alleviate Ravenjuiced's mind, I pointed out in an e-mail that showers can be wonderful places, when of sufficient size:)

Has anyone ever hung up on you? Yes. The most annoying was when M used to try to call me, and she'd used her dad's girlfriend's (Sh's) cell phone -- and Sh hung it up on M and I in mid-conversation. M's dad, C, has, also but I can't even recall last time we've talked on the phone with each other, so that's been years.

Looking forward to something this weekend? M coming back home from her final summer week at her dad's, and us maybe going to "the" fair, and maybe on E's boat. It seems a whole week away.

Has anyone smoked in your car? No, at least not with me as its owner.

Do you have any bruises? No.

Do you find piercings attractive? Completely depends. Analogous to Christmas decorations -- some are tacky and way overdone, some are really lovely to look at, and tasteful,some just are.

Who was the last person you sat next to? A stranger (at the feis), but I did sit with Daisy to watch Olympics, E nearby, and I did stand often with L's mother, or with M and L, at the feis, and Si was there, etc.

What is the worst subject they teach at school? Argh, ask me again in about a month when M's entrenched in her new high school. She just got her registration back, and a fourth of it is completely wrong (but hey, so 75% of it's good). I like most subjects personally.

If you had 100 dollars to spend on clothes, where would you go to shop? Currently at Old Navy as there's a blue blouse with some flowers on it that I really like. And I can fit into their pants that look decent enough and not teenybopperish on me.

Do long distance relationships work? They can.

How do you earn money? Legally.

Where were you raised? Primarily in Maryland, briefly also in Maine and in Washington, D.C..

When was the last time you talked to your number 1? Who is that? God? A bit earlier today. My daughter, M? Yesterday (albeit I tried texting her this a.m., but she only texted back once). E? This a.m.

What is on your bed right now? In addition to bedding, my TTY/TDY (phone), and probably at least one cat and possibly our dog who may have brought along a dog toy or "bone."

Do you name your stuffed animals? I used to, but haven't had any new ones in years.

What's the last sporting event you watched? Olympics last night, swimming and gymnastics, and the Irish stepdancing yesterday day.

Ever collected unemployment? No.

Your parents tell you they're moving to Mexico: HAHAHAHAHA. My father did not like taking Spanish, and of course, if he started telling me anything right now, I'd start checking out who placed a speaker next to his urn. Now, my mother and stepfather? Nah, even if they actually vacationed, I think they'd pick other places first, never mind MOVE there.

Do you think you are an argumentative person? No.

Would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler? Neither. My beagle is more than enough dog for me as it is right now.

What jewelry do you wear all the time? Mine. :)

Have you ever had a difficult relationship? Yes.

Ever driven into the ghetto to buy drugs? This is actually a question here? Wow, and NO. Never.

Are your ears gauged? I've had my hearing gauged, but I don't believe I've ever had my ears gauged. Do people normally? Odd question.

How did you feel when you woke up today? Like it was too daggone early, and it was.

Where did you buy the shirt you're wearing now? I didn't. (It's a hand-me-down.)

Ever kissed someone who smokes? Yes. I plan to kiss him again tonight, too. :)

What do you usually do first in the morning? Feed Daisy, or Daisy and the cats, give them water. I'll eat and/or drink something small and quick myself, and put on clothes I can walk Daisy in. Then I take her out.

What are you doing tonight? Read a few journals and filling this out. Walk in a park with E, and likely Daisy, too, just because. Try calling M, and likely watch more Olympics coverage.

Tags: feis, M, E, L, Daisy, Olympics, Delaware Feis

let's not forget the Forgotten War

2008-07-23T09:32:00.000-07:00

The Korean War has long been known and referred to by it's nickname, The Forgotten War. Do an internet search on the Forgotten War and all sorts of Korean War references and links show up. Quoting from both Military.com Military.com Content and from the National Park Service, Korean War Veterans Memorial: Korean War , the Korean War was "historically overshadowed" by World War II and the Vietnam War (albeit the Korean War was sandwiched between those two other wars). Heck, originally, the Korean War was called a conflict, officially speaking, and not a war.

The war in Afghanistan is receiving more media coverage again, which I believe it should be receiving. Today's The Washington Post had an article on the top right-hand corner of the front page, with a box indicating further, related articles inside (see if you can under the photo of the soldier, under the Obama visits Iraq article). Every single soldier who has been involved in the war in Afghanistan, whether he or she served and returned home safely and soundly, is still there, or who lost his or her life or limbs, needs to be remembered and not forgotten. I believe that about any soldier for any war or "conflict."

Just that the author or an editor headlined one of these subarticles today on the war in Afghanistan, as "The Forgotten War."

I've had family (and/or) friends serving in most of the wars that this nation has been involved in since the Europeans came over (or, invaded). The Korean War isn't all that long ago -- my parents generation. While my father's tour of duty was comparatively enjoyable in Alaska, my Uncle Billy, William "Billy" Douglas, died as a teenaged Prisoner of War (POW) in Korea. He'd signed up to help support his family, lying about his age. Tens of thousands of others also lost their lives there within just a few years, with even more losing their lives as they knew them to be previous to their participation, and affecting the lives of their loved ones. I will not forget even if I never got the chance to meet my Uncle Billy myself.

The nickname for the war in Afghanistan should be something else.

Let us not be so quick to forget the original The Forgotten War.

After Visit, Obama Defends Iraq Plan - washingtonpost.com

A Wake-Up Call From Afghanistan - washingtonpost.com

Tags: the Forgotten War, Korean War, war in Afghanistan, soldier, Uncle Billy, The Washington Post

what's the deal with cash deposits, anyway?

2008-07-22T11:31:00.000-07:00

A bit over a week ago, Thursday night I made an online payment to my credit card. Friday, it had not credited yet. Okay, fine, for some reason that seems obscure, they are not grabbing their money immediately from my checking account even though I authorized that, and it can take a couple days. So, I borrowed money from M, and made a CASH payment right at the bank that Friday over an hour before their "must deposit by" hour. Phew, I could rent a car for the weekend, as the car rental place puts a hold of approximately $200. on a major credit card and I needed that credit limit so that could be done. Um, no, the cash payment still wasn't showing as a credit. Odd. I waited over an hour, still nothing. Calling them, they said that the bank would ahve to call them and tell them it was cash, so it'd get credited. The bank said I had to come in person with my receipt, even though I offered to fax it, and did let them know I'd have to walk almost a mile to get to them. I got a ride, waited, and the bank, after verifying it was a cash deposit, was on hold, then disconnected, then got through and it took a WHILE, but I was told that my actual limit was counting that cash payment. I walked back. The online version of my credit card account didn't show that until Saturday, when it showed the cash payment retroactive to Friday, and I forget which day the online payment was credited. But, they accepted the "hold" charge from the car rental company, so it worked out (the rental was a weekend special of a lot less than $200., but it's standard to put a hold). I don't understand why all the hassle, however.

So, last night, I withdrew money from one account at one bank. I had wanted to withdraw more, however, the (weeks late finally came yeah) child support check hadn't cleared fully. THIS bank, nicely, lets me withdraw on a deposit immediately, even a check deposit, just only up to a few hundred dollars. Okay, fine. It definitely beats having to wait until the entire check deposit clears his bank account and gets into mine, plus there was a weekend in there. So, I took the lessened amount of cash, and put it into my checking account last night. I have two things I wish to pay by Pay pal today online, plus something else. My checking account is primary with Pay pal, so it just makes it easier to do it this way. Except, for somereason, my cash deposit made last night, admittedly via ATM but still, is not showing in my account even as of today right now! ARGH. It should acknowledge even pending deposits (it usually does, or is that only if I deposit via a teller?).

I don't get why paying with cash isn't reflected on an account immediately after a person is able to do the data entry processing of the payment. I also don't understand why some companies can withdraw from my checking account seemingly as soon as I press the button to confirm payment, and others take days (I would think they'd want it!).

And, yes, I can appreciate that wow, I had money to rent a car with for a couple days?! and wow, I can pay for two feiseanna, now?, as typically speaking no way in heck w/out budgeting that in, in advance. It doesn't leave me with money, but at least I can cover these. Just want the cash credited once deposited.

Update: My cash deposit via ATM last evening, is now (late afternoon) credited to my checking account. I am guessing that this is their normal timeframe for that, as my request/comment about it hasn't yet elicited a response (so I sent another saying thanks for getting it credited). So, I made the two feiseanna registrations. Anything else I'll take care of later on.

Tags: banking, cash deposits, credit card payment, checking account

so I ate M's ice cream for lunch, not that it's the same thing

2008-07-21T13:46:00.000-07:00

Left in the car, okay, E's car that I drove him to "the" metro station this morning in, is his coffee cup. It's a reminder of him, his lips. He was hesitate about what to do with his orange juice bottle after he finished downing the remainder and needing to get the portable playpen and his baggage; "Yes, I'll take care of this, you have to be going." Gosh he looked so cute this morning in his jeans and a black polo shirt. "Those are your cute jeans." He turned his head around slightly and gave me that smile I like as he stepped back into his home to get some other item, oh, his metro card. I also have a couple coins now that he can no longer use as they were pre-Euro coins, and he knows I like coins and stamps. (My father had, also, but somehow my brother got all the stampbooks argh some are due to M.) E was racing to get to "the" train, to get to his daughter's. E and his oldest daughter, and youngest grandson (baby E turns 1 this week), depart for Europe in a couple hours. For 10 days. I'm really happy for him. E sang a song in German this morning, from his childhood, when his father had been stationed in Germany for Voice of America.

Also left in the car are M's dirty socks, from last time she danced at the studio. I'd taken them out of her dance shoe bag, as she needs the dance shoes with her but not her dirty socks. Heck, she should be dancing right NOW. And her Delia's magazine with some desired school clothing items circled and her pen. She took her school books, The Uglies, and a book titled something like Romette and Julio. She's enjoying The Uglies. M left me her photo of "Al" and her, from graduation. She'd asked Grandma (my mom) to print it out for her when we visited yesterday. Gosh, was that just yesterday? I've put that in my purse; it's really good and I like it. M's big smile, and his, both dressed up. M's gone with her dad, C, his long-term girlfriend, Sh, and their 6 year old, Si. For 2 weeks. Except I'll see her this weekend as there's a feis. I'm more excited for it this year. Dad was in the ICU a year ago this coming weekend / this feis last year.

Boss is back from his 2 week vacation. I'm actually glad. I get to interact and work more. And, E is right, I can get some things done in my life (and more of Dad's affairs),while both he and M are away.

But.

Oh, I did see E some these past 2 weeks with M being home, just really when she was busy with her own plans. Not extended time. It was important for M and I to spend some time together; I don't regret that, I treasure that. Sometimes, just talking with her is good. She and I had our "date night" Friday night. Just just. Then some sunny time on the top of his boat Saturday which M insisted on not joining for (we thought she'd like it), but spending with "Al" instead as he moves states away soon, so still just a few hours in. Delightful but few.

Last night got started late for us, catching the last hour of Titanic which I'd not seen previously. (AND OTHER THINGS I"M DELETING HERE -- E is a gentleman, and may not feel comfortable with public details.)

I already emailed E this morning. And texted M something I thought she may need to know. I'll keep busy, they'll keep busy.

Daisy loved rolling in the grass in the sunlight. Inside, feeding her and the cats, what would I eat? M's current favorite flavor of Ben and Jerry's ice cream is really good. I'll get her a replacement pint. Not that it truly replaces time with E or with M, different sorts of time obviously, but it helps:) And, who needs an excuse to eat ice cream? Ugh, it's still 10 more days.

p.s. -- He's calling me now:) Soon they'll be off. Little E is napping with E, while daughter (mother) is searching for food in the airport. Distracting me from deleting this entry (which I instead deleted portions of). I'm glad he touched base. Glad to hear that his brother's okay, too (had been a scare). Presumably, M is doing well, also.

Tags: ice cream, E, M, baby E, Ben and Jerry's, be prepared

to Stephanie and John

2008-07-15T09:35:00.000-07:00

My cousin, Stephanie, got married last Friday. She and her first husband (now deceased), have two wonderful children, one being my Goddaughter, LEL.

John, I don't know you, but I know LEL and her brother like you. I know that Stephanie, who is the closest I have to a sister, is happy with you, and you must be in love with her. The three of them all deserve the very best. Stay treating her well, and welcome to the family, Jon.

Stephanie, I'm so happy for you. I think [your late brother] Dougie, [who would have turned 47 this month] would be very happy for you, and your [late] father, too. We all just want you to be happy, to have the best life can offer to you.

I really wish I could have been there. May all of you have many happy blessed years together. Cheers. Love ya.

Tags: Stephanie, John, Dougie, LEL

1 week 2 go -.-

2008-06-30T12:41:00.000-07:00

M texted me that this a.m., "1 week 2 go -.- " I'm not sure yet what she's doing at her dad's house this week, but it made me sad to see this. I do wish her to be happy there, to have a good relationship with her dad, and yes, I've told her that I wish her to enjoy her time while there. At least they no longer take her cell phone, so that she can text.

And, once her dad's g/f and I and the radiology center can coordinate a time for a followup test for M, I'll see M then, too. (It's "female" related, so a) I'm not discussing it on a public forum but she's okay, and b) she wanted me to be the one to take her, along with C never expressing an interest in taking her for ANY medical appointment ever.) That was her first text, i.e., that I'd woken her up (ha, um, sorry), then a wait a minute type moment, and then a text that if it's about her appointment, call the house phone, which I'd intended, anyway.

I also saw her on Saturday at an outdoors feis. A fun feis, co-run along with a good Celtic Festival, just hot, muggy, and thunderstorms (which did cool things off when they came through). E was good to take me there to see M, awhich she seemed to need, yanno, just mom's support, that mom came to watch and be there, like any kid with a parent, and yes, we enjoyed some of the festival as well. I even relaxed some ha, briefly (I have SO much that needs taking care of right now in my life). Note -- Gaelic Storm, and Enter the Haggis are both AWESOME!

I have and do keep myself busy, I truly do want her to have a good time there, but gosh I also do miss M....... Daisy will go nuts, too.

And, on this Sunday coming up, she'll be home. Oh, she wanted fireworks, again, for her birthday; Independence Day is her favorite holiday. We'll still do something fun.

Tags: M

3 new prelim dancers

2008-06-23T14:10:00.000-07:00

Three new preliminary champion Irish stepdancers, one in a new (for her) solo dress that fits her style and looks great on her!!! and two in borrowed (new for them) solo dresses that look great on them.

On the way to the feis Saturday morning, M was putting on her makeup. She'd had a few um, "moments" getting her hair fixed. Her nervousness gets translated into frustration with her hair that she wants PERFECT, then, she's over it. Saturday, she was nervous and cranky, this first time competing as a preliminary champion dancer was apparently exciting and quite nervewracking. Hey, I let HER do her own hair now, but sometimes a girl still needs her mom, and I was there for her, not that I could get it perfectly, either of course. Hence, by the time we were driving, her wig and tiara were on, and she was putting on her makeup in a much better mood. "Are you becoming a princess?" Pause. "Yes."

Her iPOD has several Irish stepdance songs on it and she soon had that plugged into her ears, hand-dancing and other reviewing of her steps. I was happy I got a good breakfast into her -- she likes when I make biscuits and put pretend (soy) sausage in them, and fortified juice. We brought healthy snacks, too, as she can get too nervous to eat so we need smaller portioned, easy to eat foods I can put in front of her, "EAT!"

M and her two good friends pictured here had an Oireachtas camp this past week, for 3 hours a day. They didn't dance straight through for 3 hours per day; that'd be insane. They also had pilates (tailored to the Irish step dancer), and focused both on their solo dances and set for the Oireachtas in December (all new), and their figures dances. These dancers were ready. Figures Dancer commented on how really good M has become, and details why. M said a while back that she's gotten more serious about her competitive dancing, and is focusing more during classes. It helped that this is one of the best feiseanna, and is a local one meaning we didn't have a long drive, nor a hotel required, and that she'd know a lot of dancers there.

It was a fun feis, a whole new ballgame at prelim vice "the grades" (meaning levels from first feis, if offered, and beginner, up through open prizewinner). Some of the dancers M has always looked up to is at this level. A lot of questions, a lot of watching. Heck, it was a lot of waiting, too. We got there early just to be certain, early enough we could have looked at the new hardshoes she needs but M never dared take the time. I was happy to see SO's daughter dance, for example -- a great hornpipe which ended up 2nd in prizewinner yeah!, and I missed her others but I looked up the results for her dance, then asked her what her competitor # was -- yeah, she one first and got her treble jig out of novice! A real goal for her, so we were happy.

The champions dance each dance for longer at this level, than when in prizewinner level, and I kept thinking they were done (or should be), then they'd stay dancing either their last half step, or another whole step, for either 2.5 steps total, or 3. I kept ending in my head at 2 ha.

They don't dance separate dances, sometimes four, sometimes five or six. Their main competition is both one hardshoe and one softshoe, which they chose in advance when registering for the feis. M and L competed in hornpipe (hardshoe), and reel (softshoe), as that's what the U14 girls will dance at the Southern Region Oireachtas this December. Their friend here is U13, and danced treble jig and slip jig. Sometimes, age groups are combined, so the P U13 was combined with the P U14 at this feis, for 30 registered dancers. There were six dancers from M's ID school in this one competition, which is not typical when the competitions are separated by ages.

The champion dancer competitions have larger stages, sometimes in auditoriums. For this feis, their competition was held in the regular stage room, with a larger stage, and their treble reel was in the auditorium. M was excited about dancing on an auditorium stage for the first time. L corrected her, that it was their first time COMPETING on an auditorium stage. Ha, quite true. They are both seasoned dancers when it comes to a dancing on a variety of stages, including a few different auditoriums. It was good that they danced two at a time, and not three at a time. With the larger stages, sometimes dancers will compete 3 at a time, and it was scheduled to be for them but was changed with the competition just before theirs, with the next younger age groups, kept dancing almost into each other.

M felt her thighs cramp after the hardshoe (hornpipe) round, which looked really good just, well, she's up against stiff competition now. About the cramping, huh? Friends helped her out while I asked TCRG Ma for advice, who recommend two stretches. "Stay moving." "Massage your thighs." "Eat a banana." "Drink water." "She's not getting enough oxygen." Ugh, my fear, as she has asthma, and sometimes dancing THIS hard and aerobically, exabberates it. M declined her inhaler, however, saying it decreased her stamina. Hmmm, we're going to talk w/ her pediatrician about that. Closer to when the soft-shoe round (reel for her) was beginning, she said her arches were hurting. I know those daggone flip flips don't help, but the arches are just starting to hurt NOW? FiguresTeacher said M danced a very clean and good reel, very cautiously. When M's at her best, wow, and this was very very good but not her very best. It's okay. This is her first time at this level. I'd love her to do well, but primarily, I wish her to do well compared with herself, to feel good about it, and, of course, to have fun and enjoy it.

Results. There are awards on podiums for the top three placers, and typically 50% of a competition get placed instead of, say, the top 3-6 max. We watched some others, between checking on when her treble reel would go. Finally her competition was announced. Out of the 30 registered, 24 danced (I hear there are more no-shows for prelims but it still surprised me, is it b/c it's summer? this is a good feis), meaning 12 dancers were placed. Two of M's friends (from her school) got 11th and 12th place. Then they called competitor # x and name and Irish Dance school name for 10th place, then 9th place, in descending order. It's a big deal to place, and her friends did great by placing. As a first-time prelim dancer, we completely expected M to not place (that'd be normal). "And in 6th place, competitor # 249, M[full name] of the [ID school name]." WOW. M was SO SO happy, asked where to stand, etc., and the main TC of the hosting school gave M her trophy, "And in 5th place......" Yes, M danced well, but this was not expected. She beamed over at me, standing there while the others got their trophies and bowl, clapping, bowing.

They get their individual score sheet immediately afterwards. It's a rule, and a good one, that three judges must judge the champion competitions at a feis. Each judge writes down her or his score for each dancer for the hardshoe round, and then again for the softshoe round. Nicely, each of these three also wrote comments. The one put M down as 13th for her hardshoe, and 5th for her softshoe, while the other two had M between 2nd and 4th place, wow, 2nd. The overall scores are averaged and is how M ended up in 6th place.

M then called TCRG Ma who had had to leave after watching their dancing, and later calling FiguresTeacher. We watched the rest of the results, LCGirl placed, too, yeah!, and L and others won between 1st and 3rd in Treble Reel and got to stand on the podium for those.

M is, deservedly, thrilled. She said she can't wait now for the Oireachtas. It will be in Orlando this year. I laughed, can we at least wait until it's not HOT down there? I reminded her to stay practicing this week, and we talked about how much and how often.

L felt she'd be a lot more comfortable now dancing prelim. She did look really good. They deserved to have moved up, getting challenged again. Supporting each other while working on their personal bests, working really hard.

Of course, I let M join with friends after at a local restaurant, and even get dessert. LCGirl and M still had their wigs and tiaras on, albeit the 80's dressed folk lent "difference" to the place as well. That night, it was social time. A musician ended up playing The Unicorn song even ha. Sunday, M had a lot of fun dancing for the fun of dancing, at a small parade and performance in front of a historical city, us enjoying the camaderie and the outing. And, having fun, is, ultimately, what it's all about, whether competing, performing for an audience, for oneself. Heck, it's a continuation of a heritage, and a good sport. And, yes, I am also proud. I told her she can get her trophy engraved.

Tags: Irish step dance, feis, prelim, preliminary championship, M, L

Boating with Daisy, Chapter 2

2008-06-02T14:18:00.000-07:00

Chapter 2: Drop anchor.

E had been thinking all week long of potentially "going boating" yesterday. Saturday, he would go down and tinker about things that didn't run perfectly on his several day with kayaks outing with his visiting sister, et al. I even called him Saturday afternoon, but his cell phone was in his car, and he was stuck on the houseboat, for a few hours straight, while it stormed hard. Sunday, yesterday, would have light winds in directions that'd work for us, and perhaps an occasional scattered shower.

It'd be a day trip. "You're bringing Daisy along, right?" She's gotten a lot more comfortable about going to E's house, and with us together. We opted to have dinner on the boat this time, stopping at a farmer's market for fresh tomatos and ears of corn, and then a fish market for steamed blue crabs, with an Old Bay-like spice, of course. (I am so not up for dumping live creatures into pots of boiling water. Even if I suggested eating them, being in season and all, and I know that's how they're, well, boiled and steamed.)

Daisy seemed excited to go with me and even to see the boat and the marina there, "Boat, Daisy, want to go to the BOAT?" Daisy does learn words, so I try to repeat them. She learned "bacon" quite quickly at E's house one morning and yes, E fed her.

Anyway, at the boat, E lifted Daisy onto the deck, and she was a lot less anxious, hanging out primarily with me but not necessarily. She looked out the windows and figured out, wait, this time, we're moving. A tentative okay, then a more assured this is okay, sniff sniff, the estaurine air still smells good. Sometimes she'd settle onto the couch, even almost sleeping, sometimes she'd come out on deck with me, sniffing through the door at the water and air. It was really beautiful marshy waterlines, occasionally drizzling a bit, occasionally sunny. I had my legs up, contemplating a pink summer (I decided that pink is my toenail color this summer), as if I don't have a trillion critical things to worry about, and watching the osprey through E's excellent binoculars. The osprey prefer to nest on the pilings. One had a large piling area, but scant nesting materials of twigs and such. We figured it may have blown away some in Saturdays heavy storm, while the other pilings had nests slightly more protected from the wind.

A speedboat went by, and we rocked slightly in its wake. Daisy was always on alert, and came up to peek out the doors on the front deck, watching the very mild waves, and went back warily to the safety of the couch inside.

After a while, E got things ready for anchoring, having me steer now that we were long out of a channel and it was easy going. Then, he dropped anchor. I watched the chain go overboard with it.

"Oh, damn." Pause. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever done." He seemed incredulous. "That's a four-hundred dollar anchor." Which wasn't the point and even he knew that.

"Did you not tie it to something?"

At the time, E's mind was racing through alternatives to us finding the now-lost anchor (such as landing on the sandy shore not too far away, etc.). Later, he teased me that I must have distracted him, explaining how it's so very basic to tie the anchor to something (the line, the boat? something, anyway), that he'd never forgotten to do so, previously.

This time, he stripped down to his underwear before diving in. I used the depth gauge to help us figure out where he dropped the anchor compared with where the houseboat may have drifted. E could stand easily in the shallow water yet not see a thing, especially without his eyeglasses. The tributaries of the Chesapeake Bay are almost always murky with low visibility, and we'd just stirred them up further as had the storms Saturday. He found it! E found the anchor! Relief as he held it up for me, then E climbed up the ladder in the back (after I turned off the idling engine of course).

Daisy seemed entirely unaffected by the lost and found anchor, and was simply pleased we were pleased and were starting dinner. Then the storm came, a scattered thunderstorm having us bring in all chairs but not the table up top that sounded like an upstairs neighbor. Somehow, Daisy didn't comment, not even vocally yet at home, she'd bark and bark at such noises.

Calm. Shiny waters, pink in the cleared air. We moved the rest of our dinner upstairs. Delicious. There is nothing quite like fresh blue crab. Birds returning, frogs or something speaking loudly in the marsh. Daisy enjoyed that.

One set of birds seemed to be in a bit of a tither. "Look, E, that one'sturning its head away from the other." "Must be the female," he says with a smirk. The markings could indicate that it is a female. "She" then slid further down the railing, away from her mate. He didn't visually take notice. Then she flew off, and he followed, in parallel.

Daisy did once ask to be let out the door, as if to go for a walk. I'd timed things, and knew she could last longer. Worst case, such as if the anchor stayed lost and we really had drifted, we'd put out a towel upstairs for her to use. Daisy didn't quite get the concept that a traveling boat moves across water; there was no land outside that door like there would be if we were in a car. I picked her up, and let her see over the edge at all the water. She stopped asking to "go out," and was fine when we got back into dock along with a beautiful pink evening sky.

I still joked with E that perhaps he should just bring an extra change of clothing with him every time he goes boating with us. He knows I'd brought a bathing suit, just in case, and joked that maybe I should have gone in instead of him. Laughing, "I don't feel badly any longer for having lost your car keys (and boat key)." Pause. "You're never going to let me live this down, are you?" Ha. "No." :)

We both agreed that Daisy is doing a lot better, and how she was bodes well for any upcoming multi-day boating trips we may take. While we were all tired, Daisy was the one snoring the loudest this morning, on a bed that doesn't move about with the water.

Tags: E, Daisy, boat, osprey, blue crab

Boating with Daisy, Chapter 1

2008-06-02T13:42:00.000-07:00

Chapter 1: This is a boat. This is water.

About a month ago, Daisy bounded for the car at the casual mention of ride, not really knowing what she was getting into. She was adept at getting on and off of E's docked houseboat, and would follow me up to the roof deck, back into the kitchen, and the front deck area,and all about the grounds. Daisy almost dozed off with her head on E's lap. Good, we thought she'd gotten comfortable.

This was an overnight check out how the boat is to get it ready for the season trip, so we hadn't brought food with us other than dog food and treats. E and I were going to leave for dinner. I gave Daisy a treat and said good-bye. E stepped up the small ladder onto the deck, and held out his hand for me to follow him. He then pulled up the stepladder so that Daisy wouldn't follow.

Ha.

I should have known my dog. As a puppy, no baby gate could hold her; she jumped right over.

Only thing is, to jump out of the boat and land on the dock, Daisy would have had to jump up, and jump long.

Splash. She misjudged. Daisy has never swam before. She hates baths (so we tend to spot-bathe her when that'll work). She freaked when she once went almost neck-deep into a pond to chase the oh so terribly exciting geese. E knew this about her.

E dives in after Daisy, who has innately started doggy-paddling. E had on his clothes, shoes, wallet with, well, everything including the free entry passes to the following week's festival, eyeglasses. Daisy heads towards a lower beam near shore where I await her, and E lifts her up to me.

Dinner waited until after E could run to the only accessible store, a K-mart, and buy something else to wear. (While waiting, a "neighbor" boating guy talked with me for a bit about swimming lessons and such. This was my debut at this marina with E, with them having known his former long-term girlfriend, "Dora.") When E and I left for dinner, Daisy seemed alright, yet was panicking when we returned, scratching on the inside of the glass door. She wouldn't leave me alone the rest of the night (which wasn't exactly in E's evening plans).

The next morning, she was excited about the birds and the smells on the long walk along developed marshy-land, and the smells of the water itself. She was very careful about entering and exiting the boat via the door, however. At one point, sitting on the deck eating breakfast, a woman I'd never seen and E said he hadn't talked with that trip, walked by with her things to go home, "No more swimming lessons?" Daisy was the talk of the dock. I'm REALLY glad it was about my dog, and not about me. :)

Tags: Daisy, E,boat

Good Feis Day, part 2 (in M's own words)

2008-06-02T12:37:00.000-07:00

"Well on to a new topic: IM A CHAMPION!"

I'm quoting M on this one. I had a version of this half written in my head. Then I noticed that M had written this. It works, except I don't think I exactly squealed... and I am altering the names to those I've created, to be less identifable.

"It all started out yesterday at the [name] Feis. L and I both needed one last first to move up to preliminary championship. We are both pumped and ready to dance. We dance our 2 hand and then our reel. Next is the slip jig and thats the one L needs a first in. We dance it and she looked EXCELLENT! Everything was so fluid and she looked really good. After that we danced the treble jigs (the dance I need a 1st in) and TCRG Ma was able to watch me dance. After we come off the stage Ma says that that was excellent and that she would give me a first !! :)

Well, after we danced Treble Jig we went up to check scores for the reel but mostly for the Slip Jig. L had won! She was now a Preliminary Champion! We were all screaming and hollering and telling every [dance school] dancer or parent possible. I was so proud of her cause she really deserved it and she looked exceptionally good.

Treble Jig results aren't up yet so we continue to tell people and holler while we are waiting for our Hornpipe. The stage that our Hornpipe is at is going slow so we decide to check the Treble Jig scores. I see what I think was my competition # (realize i didn't have my glasses on) and I see what I think is my # as winning 1st! I get all happy but then realize it's competitor # 176 not mme, 175. Then I get my hopes down. Then I hear my mom scream and squeal. I HAD WON THE TREBLE JIG! I WAS A PRELIM! I race out of the room and scream at L, "I got it!! :)"

Now everyone is all excited cause not only had L got to prelim, but I had, also. :) Then of course we ran around telling everyone that we had just talked to that I was now in Prelim! L and I were so happy and we were so happy for each other because now one of us wouldn't be left in Prizewinner by ourselves:( But instead we were on Cloud 9 b/c we BOTH were in Prelim!! :) I can't even explain how happy I was and still am.

Anyways, for all the other dances it was L, #312, and me that were all neck n' neck for the top positions so since L and I were already in Prelim (and our legs and feet were hurting [M had big blisters]) we decided to sit out of the Hornpipe so that #312 could get her last 1st in Hornpipe so that she could move to Prelim. She and her mother were so thankful for letting us give her daughter a chance and it seemed to have boosted #312's confidence by a lot. L and I felt really good about helping her out a little and it ended up that #312 won the Hornpipe!!:) Everything felt really good and now all 3 of the top competitors were out of the way to let another dancer have their turn to win that last needed 1st :)

IM A CHAMPION! "

with lots of stars and smiley faces and a ya!

Tags: M, L, Southern Region, feis, preliminary champion

AOL journal glitch

2008-06-02T12:14:00.000-07:00

Testing, testing. I can't seem to access my AOL journal, other than to view it. There are no options for "edit an entry," or "add an entry," or even "add authors," not that my journal's concept would work well as a shared journal. UGH. So, testing via aim if this works or not.........
Oh, yeah, NOW I can get an "edit" link, via the AIM! YEAH!
I will remember that, for next time I'm logged in, as me, Ceilisundancer, and aol is flaking out (it'd be different if it had an area on the journal for me to log in there but, it doesn't right now. Weird.)
UGH, no, it's a link to this journal entry, with options to get back to the main "public journal." But, still no way to actually edit, add, delete, whatever. ARGH. I have two entries I wish to write up, too. Naturally:) Ah, well, life could be worse-- have a great day, all.

Update: While not able to even access a place to "sign in" to my AOL journal, while logged in to my aol (not aim) account / SN, I COULD do that when I open up this AOL journal simply as a regular web link (via Explorer, I'm pretty sure). Bizarre, but, at least it'll work for me now.

Oh my gosh, did we just talk next year??!!

2008-05-28T10:14:00.000-07:00

I didn't even realize until this morning, as I showered at E's, using some of the body wash I'd gotten for my father that he didn't use up and thinking of him. (I still do NOT get why that one social services woman told me that I shouldn't be the one washing his feet. Um, and why not? I am his daughter. I washed for him whatever he needed, whenever he couldn't, even if he usually could except sometimes it was harder for him to get his feet.)

My mind wandered, naturally. E told me again last night that he is surprised that I think that my brain ever shuts down and that he sometimes feels as if he's trying to catch or keep up. He's a smart man. It's more that my mind jumps about in many directions, quickly, in ways that may seem utterly random to another. It just works differently than his. So I teased him that I apparently can't play tic-tac-toe with him when I'm tired, as he actually thinks through his moves. Bob Seger sings that a woman never really knows a man until she's made love with him. True, but play tic-tac-toe, and you know a lot more, also. E's a strategizer, a worthy (read fun for me) competitor, and we look forward to playing more board games together.

And I thought of us hanging out last night with friends after rehearsal, chatting about a variety of things. Three classmates had showed up, thinking it was a regular class time, and another would have except she's a friend I'd talked with earlier in the day. Communication has been, well, lacking. One guy wants it limited to announcements during class. We have great information for that time frame, but we really still need the e-mail notifications, heck, our end of year class party is coming up and people are asking when it is. Yes, I made handouts for class, but nothing's been e-mailed. I know I need it visual, and jot it on my e-calendar. Anyway, I brought up that next year, class night conflicts with M's dance schedule, now that she's a preliminary championship dancer!!! (one friend there had competed as an adult -- second place in her reel!). I've been talking academic and dance class schedules for M for next year, for months now. It seemed normal to talk about next school year, and now I know that I can't be there for announcements for my main dance class, nor do I wish to miss out on information and non-class activities. I want the e-mail notifications to resume. "Then again," I motioned to E, "He can always tell me what's going on." E smiled, "Yes, I will keep you informed."

We were both so tired last night...... "you know Daisy is welcome here any time." And, more importantly I suppose, "I'm glad you're here, anyway." "Me, too." This morning, as E got out of bed, his guest bed as it's darker in that room which I need so he moves his alarm clock in there for us to sleep when I'm over, he gave me a sweet kiss on my cheek, and again as he left for work. I could stay sleeping a bit and still have time to take care of Daisy and my feline babies, get some rice from E to put M's "thrown into the pool argh" cell phone into, and get on to work. I like how he looks in his white dress shirts (always white, from the cleaners), and dark pants and tossled out of the shower hair, so I turned from the pillow to look up at him.

E started asking me M's summer schedule within a couple weeks of us dating. We've been putting that more into real planning, now. But, next year? Oh, my. But, yeah, probably so. And, that is not something I'd normally go speculating. I've been single for so long, even my last local boyfriend was SO, that ended the day M and I got Daisy (just a coincidence) 5.5 years ago. It just feels natural to be with E most of the time. (Hey, no one is perfect. We've been open which can be scary, but.) Comfortable enough where Memorial Day late afternoon, after a sunny walk and such, we just lingered silently for quite a while together (M was at "Al's" pool party; picnic at my mom's was the first half of the day). So natural, it just seemed an assumption for both E and me, that he would keep me informed of next year's details. :) Then again, words are just words. The "meat" is what's behind them. It still seems good, though. And real. He's not a player, and I think I'd like to stick around a while.

Tags: E

It was a good feis day, part 1.

2008-05-27T15:28:00.000-07:00

Sunday dawn, feis morning, the world was awakening, the birds calling out to each other as Daisy savored the extra early walk in the crisper air. "Dear God, please have it be a good day today....." I really need to start the day in prayer a lot more often than I seem to remember to. I didn't ask God to have M win her last first place that she needed to move up to a preliminary championship level. I knew I'd be happy for her if she did, but I don't like praying for such a thing. I wanted, well, a good day, for M, for my mother and for E, and everyone, for the stage to run well that we were volunteering at, however God meant "good" to be.

M had prepared most of her things earlier on Saturday, I'd washed the second pair of her bubble socks "just in case," got more gas in the rental car, visited my Blazer in case the wig was there and found her feis makeup. M had taken her shower and repacked her dance duffel bag, having declined a dinner invitation with E and me, and some of his visiting family. Yet, that fancier "Meagan" style wig remained elusive until I was home, and finally told M in all seriousness that she'd need to start putting her hair in curlers, then. (Buying another wig at the feis wasn't an option with my current funds available, even if the vendor would have had that style in M's hair color, even as a wig is practically a requirement at her level of dance competition.) By morning? Even the snacks were ready, and a good breakfast eaten.

Pack the dresses in the trunk and bring the iPOD. We were going to a feis! Our first one together since possibly last October?, our favorite feis where many of the local Irish dance schools help out, we know so many there, she is most relaxed, and we kicked off helping out one of the beginner / advanced beginner stages. It was exciting to drive up with other vehicles with Irish dancer stickers, or passengers wearing big head pieces, while seeing Rolling Thunder going south, the start of a new day, new feis season.

This feis opened and capped / closed within 8 hours this year, within a day?? last year. Both set records, and this year, approximately 200 additional dancers were accommodated and it still capped even more quickly. However, it didn't feel more crowded (except for the line to get in and pick up registrations; we usually don't arrive when the doors open, however). She had time to get her registration / competition card, and her makeup on, a spot on the bleachers not too far up so Grandma (my mom) could sit comfortably if desired near another dance school friend there for her first prelim, and retouch up her sock glue just because. M likes them perfectly lined up.

I was a stage manager, checking in dancers, liaison with the judge (a lovely and very nice Myra Watters, co-chair of this years Southern Regional Oireachtas), and M assisted more directly with the dancers in lining them up, and counting them in. There were some U5's, meaning dancers who turn 5 years old sometime during the calendar year 2008, and U6's. One wee girl burst into tears; she'd forgotten what she was supposed to dance. I saw her turned around and hugging her dad's leg, while I concentrated on the new batch of dancers signing in for their upcoming competition. M told me that the girls brother came over, and went over what dance the U5 girl was to dance. "Oh, yeah, I can dance that!" And, she did.

There were also two beginner adult dancers who smiled, "Yes, please," when asked if they, too, would like to be counted in. It's not the age as much as the level and experience of the dancer that determines if they may need some counting-in assistance. An older dancer will have seen others coming out dancing two at a time, then retreating into the line and waiting for the judges nod for them to bow to the judge / musician, and walk off orderly, and will know to mimic that even if a first time feiser. Younger ones will need more guidance on those nuances. A few groups had almost 30 dancers and it can get a mite confusing.

Many parents were first-time feis goers, and would ask a lot of questions. Sometimes, an older knowledgable sibling would be checking in their younger charge. Many polite beginners would wait their turn, the announce their name to me, unconsciously hiding their competition card and # with their nervous hands. It's their number I really needed, to check them off the list (that does include their name and school as well).

Musician Sandy Jones played at our stage. I was unfamiliar with him previously; he played great, and would confirm the style (is it still light jig, or on to treble jig?), first. Yes, it is live music, has to be, and I love that. They will often wear a metronome in their ear to help them keep the correct beat, repeatedly over and over and over again for every dancer, even admist the chaos of other stages (and their musician), and the crowd. At this feis, speakers were at the opposite end of the stage from the musician, facing in towards the stage, to aid the dancers.

A couple hours in, others came to relieve M and I, and we transitioned over. Mom had come, and M and L had met up and went to put on their wigs and tiaras. I've mentioned M's dance friend, L, previously. They are like dancing twins in a way. They are a month apart in age, and often at thee same level of dance, and at mostly thee same feiseanna. Even when a particular competition splits into an A and a B group, they are often still put into thee same split / group. They are also similar heights and builds and sizes. M has the natural turn-out; L has the stronger oompf for hard-shoe. Details they both overcome often enough to still nail it and win firsts.

Shortly after, E found me at the stage where M and L would dance their 2-hand reel, their first dance of the day. He laughed that it took him half an hour to find it (the correct stage location). I smiled back and told him that this is thee best organized feis I know of, while understanding the confusion for a first-timer, even if he exaggerated.

Sometimes, figures (team dances) are done first thing at a feis; this feis nicely does them in the middle of the lower grades (beginner and advanced beginner dances), and the higher grades (novice and open prizewinner dance competitions). Former beau / dance dad aka DAID, SO, was impressed enough he felt that M and L should win first place. Their arms, their connection (a team should look like a team even if just two of them), their unison and their choreography done just for them, did look sharp and good. They ended up winning 2nd place out of seven or eight teams. M knew that the winning team looked really good. It's all good.

My mother even got "moon-pied" by Z&B himself. I had to explain to her just what that meant, and that it's traditional, et al. She doesn't really like them, either, but we both ate ours, being hungry and all. Ends up, my Kentucky-born stepfather, Bob, likes them. They ARE a "southern" thing, I suppose.

One of the feis chairs, ceili/set dancing friend LF, also danced an adult 4-hand reel. He was part of a team that one first place at the 2007 Southern Region Oireachtas. The one woman looked familiar, so it was likely the same team. E and I watched LF and his 4-hand team dance. E knew it wasn't "the" 4-hand reel, so what was it? He didn't realize that sometimes there are dances done in the very traditional style, and sometimes they can be choreographed within guidelines.

Next feis entry -- M's dances, and L's, of course, as they dance all thee exact same ones, and Si, maybe SO's daughter, etc.

Tags: M, L, E, feis, Southern Region, figures

it's Friday

2008-05-23T10:23:00.000-07:00

So many good intentions for the day, but gosh, it's Friday. Of Memorial Day weekend. It's sunny outside, bright and a bit breezy. (I'm wearing a sweater; M's wearing capris and a t-shirt, and flip flops I complained about and she insists are the ones with the most arch support of any of her flip flops. Sigh.)

E called me last night from his boat. His sister, a war widow, had gone to "the" hearing yesterday on "the" Hill, then was maybe joining him last night or this morning along with her granddaughter, et al. It was windier last night, and E described the pub near his boat. Ah, I've seen it, remember, E? albeit he took me at Hemingway's instead, a more romantic spot. I've missed him. It was so nice to hear from him, the updated details of the boats preparations for its trip, including the generator working last night (okay, he's not cold). He told me where they were headed today about dawn (yawn!!!); I made mental note, repeating its name in my head. E told me the nuances of the waterways. I have no clue where they are going. Ha, I don't remember but I think it's three syllables, and I think I know the last syllable. My memory is mush sometimes. It should be a grand day, though. He is closest to her of his five siblings, he has two kayaks again, and she brought some as well.

He asked if he should let me stay watching the end of the 2-hour Grey's Anatomy season finale. Oh, no, I'm doing both -- it was great to get his call. He's the best, after all. Shortly after my one-word neme, I realized that what I should have written for E is the word "best." E is the best man I know.

M has a feis class tonight. It'll be good to leave here early. The few people here are leaving midday, anyway, except perhaps for Boss who'll be in from meetings in a few, and staying, well, a while. He gave us an hour off early. Not sure if we'll see Si there tonight or not. M said she'd been going nuts not full-out dancing while in NOLA. She was still rather tired Wednesday night, back up for things last night. She's missed enough classes, going tonight should really nail it for her.

Sunday should be fun; that's how I'm looking at it. Our favorite feis, a big local one. The different (larger) local Irish stepdance (ID) schools pitch in, and M and I will help out again this year. She'll also compete. She wasn't in all prizewinner dances last year, and now only has one left at that level. This means she stays dancing all of hers at the prizewinner level, however, so she should do well. (Last year she won this trebel reel, too, so?!) THIS year, little Si will try dancing Treble Reel, also, but it'll be a different age grouping than M. It'll be a whole different ball game when M moves up to preliminary championship level, so I'm glad she has this first big feis of the year, at her favorite one, at THIS Open Prizewinner level again. Being away a week and re-focusing now, well, she's looking great! She needs her treble jig, and for soloing at the Oireachtas this year, she'll be dancing reel and hornpipe. This means her slip jig is likely getting the least attention of her four main dances, yet as I watched her dance her slip jig last night, I was impressed. She's grown so much, not just physically taller, but as a dancer. I'm so proud of her; what a fine good dancer she is, meaning, yes, she danced a great slip jig, IMHO!. And, having her half-hour private with L to review their 2-hand dance, helped a lot -- the last bit was a focus on M's treble jig, and L's hmmm, I think slip jig is what L has left. (YEAH L got one of her last dances at a feis a monthish ago.)

Mom and Bob will come as they don't miss these for M; E stays promising me that he'll come. That is so sweet of him, but I do understand if he didn't. I've tried to explain a feis to him. I'll like seeing him, though:) Maybe even Saturday night, his mom's birthday. Maybe we'll ALL hang on Monday, as in, at my mom's. Hmm. Or, if not? Rolling Thunder will be in town D.C., and we may go down there as well. Clean the house some (find usable things for a coworker's daughter as their home burned down, horrible, all are safe phew). Plant flowers? Something.

Graduation is in 2 weeks. "In My Life" is their graduation song. "Who Knew" came on, my song for Dougie; I told M that it's the song that Dougie "gave" to me. She asked me if I'm going to cry when they sing it. Sing it? Dag, yes, whatever they sang, as M's years there and growing up and leaving will have me cry, anyway, but really so with this song, yes I will. Next week, M's class presents "New Orleans" to parents. I have her hair cut scheduled, we have two potential graduation dresses but not yet the shoes, we have a good-bye gift for Mr. L (gotten months ago, an L.L.Bean NOAA weather radio), and for Mo (a gold and green-beaded bracelet with bangles of various peace symbols, overpriced but otherwise perfect), and her girlfriend with a birthday this weekend (oops, not taken in to school today.....). They've been working on their graduation speeches. I only need to change one of M's classes for NEXT year. We even have a good idea of her Irish stepdance classes next year, and a lot of the summer figured out, with openings........

Granted, I'm working on donating my dead Blazer to my former high school's automotive program and seeing how I can obtain a new-to-me vehicle (w/ no money, oy), and got a call about Dad's house (ack), but. Right now?

It's a 3-day weekend, and I can't wait to just spend it with my daughter! Sunshine, windy, whatever. Enjoy, all.

Tags: feis, Memorial Day weekend, M, E

she's back....

2008-05-20T11:58:00.000-07:00

M secretly texted me, "Hey we r back!! Luv ya and will c u soon! :)

That's normally their lunchbreak time, so I texted her back. I included asking if she wanted to go riding this afternoon. Nah, it was pouring rain then, and, um, colder than in New Orleans ha, and M really wants to just SLEEP.

I went onto the Amtrak website and had figured out that they likely left on the 7:10 a.m. train yesterday from New Orleans, and arrived into Union Station about 10:10 a.m., then gathering their luggage, et al, and getting back to the school. Tomorrow, she'll sleep in, orthodontist, and re-begin life at home (with no school, supposedly for the students to rest but methinks that the teachers will need it, also!).

I am eager to see my Cinderella, eager to hear all of her stories! and see photos. At least, I hope she took some. I bought her (charged her) a new memory card for her camera.

And, E was off to his boat this morning, after we spent a few hours obtaining me a rental car (comedy of snafu's there, including at the very end, me having left my housekeys in his car, and not being able to figure out the wipers for almost 5 minutes while driving in the rain). I may see him tonight at a mini-ceili last class of the year, but I will likely spend that time with M, instead. I have enjoyed a week with E, even liked the Speedracer movie, really!, that we took his two local grandsons, "the boys," to see (Daisy really liked "the boys.") Dancing, a lot of things. It's been good.

Yet, I teared up seeing M's yearbook I couldn't wait to purchase and hence picked up yesterday. Photos of her, little and big graduate ones, the congratulatory notes from my mother / Bob, and from me. I miss my big-little girl. I'm so glad she's back, and home soon!

Tags: M, E

John Edwards supports Barack Obama; M in NOLA

2008-05-15T05:11:00.000-07:00

This isn't news to those who follow news, but it's noteworthy. M's favorite Presidential candidate back in January was John Edwards (she liked Bill Richardson as Vice President). John Edwards even garnered votes in the recent West Virginia Democratic primary while no longer a candidate himself. I wonder how that states voting would have gone if he'd just given his announcement a day BEFORE their primary election, instead of the day AFTER.

Anyway, I'm excited at this latest endorsement of Barack Obama, which I think shows more solidity of the Democratic party for one thing, and I appreciate, and agree with, John Edwards' words about Hillary Clinton even (that she's made the part stronger for her running, x y z).

(I also noted on Tuesday, May 13th, my father's would have been birthday, that it was announced in Chicago for some reason I'm not aware of, the city of Dad's birth, that Ray Nagin, Mayor of New Orleans, became the latest [at that time] super-delegate to announce his support of Barack Obama. Just found it interesting the timing and locations of all that; M left for New Orleans with her class that day. FYI that they arrived last night, after a 26.5 hour train ride ha, so today is her first full day in NOLA. It's bright and clear here, and supposedly rainy there. She'll still have a blast! More on that later.

I should actually depart E's house, take Daisy home, feed the pretty kitties, and get on to work, eh, just making sure to NOT use a work computer for any of my political stuff! Oh, but has MY local Congressman, superdelegate Chris Van Hollen, yet announced whom he will support? Nope, at least, not that I've heard yet, and I'm on my county e-mail "list serv" for Obama supporters, so I think I'd have heard. I DID note that Martin O'Malley, our cool state Governor, has ceased sending out e-mails in regards to Hillary Clinton. I respect anyone's choice for President; I just happen to disagree with him that she'd make the best choice.)

YES WE CAN!!!!!

Oh, I should find that video, being E's computer has sound / speakers...... maybe I could finally HEAR it...........

Tags: Barack Obama, John Edwards, Hillary Clinton, E, New Orleans

One-word survey.

2008-04-21T17:48:00.000-07:00

Maybe I can do this one! The idea is to answer all of these questions with just ONE word each. Hmmmm. Thanks, Amy and Angie for the inspiration:)

1. Where is your cell phone? purse

2. Your significant other? trusting

3. Your hair? long

4. Your mother? judgemental (alive)

5. Your father? accepting (dead)

6. Your favorite thing? touch

7. Your dream last night? rain

8. Your favorite drink? citrus [original answer: gin? (wait, that IS with lime... and ,well, water), but gin and tonic with lime isn't one word]

9. Your dream/goal? Peace

10. The room you're in? undescribed

11. Your ex? un-confident (I don't mean BJ here btw, nor the one I referred to in Angie's comments ha but I was trying not to copy her and say hot)

12. Fear? heights (ditto Angie's)

13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? happy

14. Where were you last night? E's

15. What you're not? typical

16. Muffins? blueberry

17. One of your wish list items? enough

18. Where you grew up? Maryland

19. The last thing you did? parented

20. What are you wearing? skirt

21. Your TV? exists

22. Your pets? family

23. Your computer? fritz

24. Your life? lived

25. Your Mood? melancholy

26. Missing someone? sometimes

27. Your car? none

28 Something you are not wearing? pantyhose

29. Favorite Store? Target

30. Your summer? unwritten

31. Like someone? yes.....

32. Your favorite color? green

33. When is the last time you laughed? evening

34. Last time you cried? today (sort of, as in not actual tears and all, but I felt like it for M, who had a medical appointment)

Tags: one-word survey, neme

Being Alive

2008-04-16T09:22:00.000-07:00

I was thinking I was only feeling half-alive yesterday morning. Then I thought of a friend who has an immediate family member who can barely breathe, as a "normal" state of being. That border of being alive, physically speaking, and not. I thought of some others who were NOT outside walking their dog, in part as they could not do such a thing while I can. My head was and is full of pollens which triggers all sorts of allergic reactions and asthma difficulties for me, and M.

Then it occurred to me; I'm not half- alive, I'm overly alive. Over extended last weekend, overly-sensitive to our world, overly alive? My body reacting to the pollens and triggers, my body overly-processing sugars at times (hypoglycemic), so I watch those and balance my food and carbohydrates, I fill up my life with so many things and interested in more!, my skin has more sensory perceptors per square inch than anyone in my entire high school science class, retested to be certain. E has decided that he won't smoke bad-tasting cigars any more, which had been a rare treat for him, anyway, and I told him twice to go ahead, "I'll have to tell [friend] that he's ruining my love life!," and was surprised when I told him the other night, "Oh, Sam Adams?" after we'd kissed hello. (I can ignore his occasional cigarette, but that cigar taste was nasty even the next day and both of us brushing teeth and using moutwash a couple times.)

And I try to stay aware of M, not "hovering" too much, but being aware as we share and I guide her to, basically, making good choices in her interests and greater family and community interests, to enjoy life along the way, and ultimately to not require me any more. In time; not yet. And I'm never fully leaving her life just trying to help her grow, confidently, utilizing her skills, appropriately. So, I've noticed her texting and cell phone usage and her increased need for sleep and her not being as fully on top of her homework as usual, heck, not even her Spanish, huh? Yet my restricting her cell phone usage to more normal hours and such, met with not just an upset or disappointed child, but almost hysterics, as if defensive of her friends not just socializing. I'd tried to give her parameters previously, we talked of more sleep time and it's not that I don't care about her friends, but my primary responsibility is HER, etc. She knew I was serious enough about restricting her cell phone usage that she discussed this with friends, and tried to rationalize with me as she had some during the past couple weeks. I reminded her that the times and phone #'s of calls and texts show on our bill. A bit more irresponsible for her moments, minor really but different for her, I wasn't too happy; I relayed that, also told her she was thinking ahead and being responsible for something she DID do on her own initiative, how proud I was of her at the show, etc. Being a full-weekend of recitalling, and I not always right there with her, she kept her cell phone then.

Monday night she didn't plan out her homework well, still tired from the weekend, and from a very early start last Friday for charity work the class did in D.C., and hmmm, odd hours for cell phone usage. I was tired, too, yet had wanted to spend some time with her in a positive way. I went to take her cell phone away at a reasonable hour for the evening. Drama, hysterics, defensiveness. Yes, she's 13, but this is all NOT like her. She knows I won't actually talk with her if she's yelling, even if not yelling at me. She went into her room to cry, and I ended up getting her to agree to having the door reopened (I had that capability, locks on my side), and to go in. She also knows I won't hurt her. I DID hug her. And we talked. And I stayed hugging her while she cried.

All this stress on her. She didn't tell me whom, but I know it's "Al." I know his dad is an alcoholic and some of the other family stresses. M did finally break down and tell me that he'd been either considering or planning to commit suicide, and she and another (unnamed), had essentially talked him out of it. I had told her a few weeks back that if he's in a situation that needed an adult, who all she could contact (not necessarily ME), and she had said someone did know. I DO know he is getting professional help, et al, yet I asked her, too. And reminded her that while she's a good friend, she's not a professional and for her to take this on all by herself is a lot, is probably too much. She feels convinced he won't do this now. Such crying. Such a good -hearted child, who cares. Sometimes TOO much yet I can certainly understand that. How to help her set boundaries. I hold her face in my hands, look right at her. How to let her know how special she is, that I love her, that I believe her and that suicide is very very serious (I did tell her that two people close to me had done that and it still hurts but that people hurt so much inside of themselves that they don't realize that others will hurt). That God used her to help Al, that God put her in that place and time, to help be the human touch for His will. A lot of talking..... Then I told her that I'm sure that there is a feis in Colorado (where Al may be moving), but I couldn't promise anything yet being that I don't even have a car right now. And she laughed.

Then we talked again about the cell phone, that I'll entrust her to stop using it at x time at night, and if there is a crisis, she has to let me know that, at that time, or some other exception (such as actually using it for homework), and if I see she hasn't done this, then I will be taking it.

Today is the anniversary of the Virginia Tech shootings. A murder-suicide. A lot has been said and thought and researched about that man, what coule have been done, what should be done in future situations, what is legally and ethically okay, what is going over the line. His parents still hide in shame and I feel for them, too. The pain of losing a loved one is no less when the person has died of suicide (and of course, the horror of knowing that the pain of ones own loved one led to also killing others ack -- of course I feel for all of those lost on that day and don't diminish anything from those shot, whether wounded or killed). My coworker's sister still attends, eager for her graduation next month. May all those on the campus now and past and future heal, always remember, while continuing to move on.

As I mentioned, there were two people close to me in my life over time who have committed suicide. I worked through my thoughts on Lori some years back, my elementary through high school friend, who couldn't face the agony of her life after her college freshman year. The other, well, the initial parts are all worked through, sure, but it's still hard to think of his pain, and that he's gone. I prefer to see him laughing, driving a boat, doing something he loved.

I look at my cell phone bill -- M and I went over our minutes about a week ago and have about 1 week left. We've only gone over about once previously in years, a vacation month. She and I have both been careful since then (some ofours are "free"). But, I look at it a bit differently now. It may be .40 a minute for the minutes we've gone over, primarily HER going over, but, what is the cost of a life? "Al" is still here, and I give God thanks for that, and that M did finally tell me, too, so I can better help her (or him if needed).

Suicide is a leading cause of death for teenagers (in the U.S., at least). Whether or not he fully intended to do so, Al was still in need of help, of attention. That shouldn't be, cannot risk being, ignored, but taken seriously. Just in case. I am thankful for all survivors.

May all of those in pain today, find some peace and relief from suffering. May all those who can live life, may you take a moment to not focus on the negative, but feel grateful for the good, to appreciate your mental and physical and, hopefully, your spiritual health.

As I sneeze and tear up for the pollens from the new life growing outside; the cherry trees in my neighborhood are beginning their blossoms of pink in a blue sky. I thank God for always giving me sufficient personal reasons to stay hanging in there and living life.

p.s. -- I'm sure that there are great suicide groups, helplines, survivor groups (or those for families), teenage suicide stats, and links and such out there. If anyone wishes to add any in the comments, please feel free to.

p.p.s. -- in other news -- on this date in 1862 - American Civil War: A bill ending slavery in the District of Columbia became law. A very important moment of overcoming, perservering, and moving on (even before The Civil War ended in 1865).

Tags: suicide, M, Al, Virginia Tech, allergies, breathing

life could be worse

2008-04-14T11:07:00.000-07:00

The pizza tasted a mite like paper, actually. But I was sitting on a parkbench, in the sun, watching tourists go by. Only one asked me for help as I was walking about, inside the barricade "flower planters," searching for a street vendor; which way is the White House was a rather easy one for me. I got her turned around. Life could be worse. I don't quite understand why the woman I'm filling in for, tends to sequester herself inside. Even if taking more than a moments time away from the desk, she goes underground to get across the street no matter the elements. I wish to embrace the life outside, the cool pollen-filled air, the life of the city. It's a pretty day today.

Last week, I got two pieces of news the same day, both of which will alter the course of our lives a bit from that day on.

"I hate to make these kinds of calls, Robin........" Yeah, I knew what to expect even while I had to appreciate the severity of my Blazer's demise, and how it hung on for SO long. Two gallons of antifreeze/coolant in the motor oil, a blown head gasket, well..... she's dead. I liked her, too.

When I had a down moment, I almost cried. At least I had good news for M, a reason to smile.

The same day, "Ma" also e-mailed then later called. M is almost definitely going to the Oireachtas this year, as a solo dancer! But, no promises this far in advance; I quite understand. I only relayed to M that she'd been invited officially to Oireachtas Camp this summer. It's with hope that M gets that final 1st place (in her treble jig), to earn her way to Preliminary Championship. If not, however, she's placed 1st in her reel and in her hornpipe, repeated times (at the Open Prizewinner level, qualifying level for Preliminary Championship level). That's what Ma's really looking for, as those are the two dances that M's age group dances at this year's Southern Region Oireachtas, plus continued good dancing and hopefully even more improvement. It's really quite exciting:) Orlando this December -- here we come! Or, M. (She's scheduled w/ C that weekend, but hey, it'll work out. I did tell Sh that M was going to Oireachtas Camp.) Ma laughed when I told her I'd planned already for M to be "pretty sick" those days she'll be missing school. It's not an excused absence if they aren't sick, or immediate family member dies or something, and that could mean she loses credit for the class. Stupid rule, IMHO. "So, she's starting to come down with something now, right?" "Ha, yeah, I think so....."

And, the 2-days of recital this past weekend went well, lots of details on, but summary = M's happy with it. She's happy and eager to spend 2 almost full days doing a healthy activity (with a party w/ dance friends Saturday night and sleepover w/ 3 other girls, leaving me a chance to join E at an out of town ceili, surprising a couple guys but it's all good, a too full weekend but.). I'm very proud of M, and told her and a friend that they should both be proud of themselves. This sweetheart of a girl went to last year's Oireachtas for the first time, and recalled! She suggested that M make an Oireachtas goal.

I have no money for a car. But, right, life could be worse:)

Tags: Oireachtas, head basket blown, M, E

Dam Building (I'm told this is real)

2008-04-07T15:02:00.000-07:00

The Dam Notice

This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries regarding a pond on his property. It was sent by the Pennsylvania Department of Environmental Quality, State of Pennsylvania . This guy's response is hilarious, but read the State's letter before you get to the response letter.

SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County

Dear Mr. DeVries:

It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity: Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond.

A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity. A review of the Department's files shows that no permits have been issued. Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania Compiled Laws, annotated.

The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at downstream locations.

We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted.

The Department therefore orders you to cease and desist all activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the stream channel. All restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31, 2008.

Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff. Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity on the site may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement action. We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter. Please feelfree to contact me at this office if you have any questions.

Sincerely,

David L. Price
District Representative and Water Management Division.

Here is the actual response sent back by Mr. DeVries:

Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County

Dear Mr. Price,

Your certified letter dated 11/25/07 has been handed to me to respond to.
I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget Lane, Trout Run, Pennsylvania .

A couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of constructing and maintaining two wood 'debris' dams across the outlet stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I think they would be highly offended that you call their skillful use of natures building materials 'debris.'

I would like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate their dam project any time and/or any place you choose. I believe I can safely state there is no way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic.

These are the beavers/contractors you are seeking. As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam activity.

My first dam question to you is:

(1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers, or

(2) do you require all beavers throughout this State to conform to said dam request?

If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, through the Freedom of Information Act, I request completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued.

(Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania Compiled Laws, annotated.)

I have several concerns. My first concern is, aren't the beavers entitled to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute and are unable to pay for said representation -- so the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer. The Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed during a recent rain event, causing flooding, is proof that this is a natural occurrence, which the Department is required to protect. In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than harassing them and calling them dam names.

If you want the stream 'restored' to a dam free-flow condition please contact the beavers - but if you are going to arrest them, they obviously did not pay any attention to your dam letter, they being unable to read English.

In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and water flows downstream. They have more dam rights than I do to live and enjoy Spring Pond. If the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental Protection lives up to its name, it should protect the natural resources (Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' Dams).

So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be referred for more elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait until 1/31/2008? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice then and there will be no way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass them.

In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a real environmental quality, health, problem in the area. It is the bears! Bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers alone. If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your step! The bears are not careful where they dump!

Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your dam office.

THANK YOU,

RYAN DEVRIES
& THE DAM BEAVERS

Tags: dam, beavers

I've been tagged! / I'm it!

2008-04-07T14:22:00.000-07:00

Sheria tagged me -- They're asking about me! (take a looking around her whole journal when you have some time).

The rules are:
1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves.
3. At the end of the post, the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

QUESTIONS:
1) What was I doing 10 yrs ago? My daughter, M was going to be 4 years old, wow, has time changed in 10 years to her going to be 14 years old. I was (am) a single mom, and my life revolved around her needs. It's possible I co-taught Sunday school that year, or another year, I did work full-time, drove her to and from her Montessori preschool, her dance classes, various outings in the greater DC area such as Glen Echo Park, and my mother/stepfather watched her every Friday (sometimes more).

2) What are 5 things on my to-do list for today (not in any particular order): (other than a lot of work things done and new being done, as I did work today, and basic things like walk and play with Daisy and clean up a hairball, and herd cats at breakfast time and give Tinker treats.... Doesn't mean that left time to get all the rest of this done!)

Check e-mail and M's facebook (still with friends I've known for years so, good); write this!

Request M's immunization records so I can complete her public high school registration (got the form, talked w/ her pediatrician's office, prepared the cover sheet, and been trying to fax it.......). (And RE-call the high school which someone seems to have lost my number, along with RE-calling the orthodontist -- guess both are for tomorrow.)

Get M's dance stuff and mine, and anything else critical from my vehicle, into E's (yep!). Leave the key so it can get towed (yes, a separate trip as I forgot.) Get mine towed after talking with mechanic -- except I'm conserving my cell phone minutes so intended to do that from a landline and, um, haven't....

Pay some bills (ok, one got paid, will total up others first).

Card to my uncle Len (um, I'll pick one up......)

Call my brother (sigh, that repeats itself daily until I will finally call him; I have something to SAY now, an update).

RSVP that I can help for a feis, M's recital (all days), response about a gig (but a high school play is that night)....

E's car back to him after I pick M up from "the" barn. Wow, I got some things done! I wanted to send him a sweet note, too; the weekend was GREAT. It's been a long time since I had a M'less weekend that was GREAT. I'll freshen up before we return his car:)

3) Snacks I enjoy: Anything right now, almost; I'm hungry. (Hey, I did errands at lunch -- see to do list!). Strawberries, peanut butter, cheese w/ or w/out crackers, warm blueberry scone with margarine, whole avocados (ok, or homemade guacamole with good chips and salsa), Bailey's over ice:) Well, I'm saying it counts as a snack. E didn't mind me drinking the remainder of his this weekend while he drank Samuel Adams....

4) Things I would do if I were a billionaire: Other than catch myself up financially (anyone w/ a spare couple thousand?!), do what I can for relatives (including consider a private school for M but eh, this public one IS good), retirement plan and college plan for M (and me? go back to school?), travel. ALSO sponsor MORE kids from Plan, gosh, I'd have to really think this one through. Fund a scholarship (or two) at M's school. Even a million is a lot. A lot of charity work and organizations -- animal sanctuaries and humane society help, schools and medical care for underpriveleged in our own country and in South America. The working poor who make just too much to qualify for aid. Help increase the scientific knowledge of our youth, give them more tools for learning, expose their minds to it in a way that's exciting. I'd get good financial advice and try to truly make a big difference. This could be awesome.

5) Five of my bad habits:

Easily distracted. Forms are typically beyond me -- hey, this was a real effort to complete! I often put off what is difficult to deal with (emotionally or just tedious-difficult). Sometimes, that's how I cope, but it can also delay things too much too often. Disorganized in many respectsand struggle with that. Sometimes I can appear reserved or uncaring when I'm just trying to take it all in or perhaps feeling shy / intimidated, and may even care a lot. I'm not as close with God as I should be and want to be, so haveeven gotten in the habit of NOT attending church since my dad's memorial service, not any church (but I'm working on that one).

6) 5 places I have lived:

Georgetown, Washington, D.C.

Montgomery County, Maryland (all over, name a town or burg or city and I may have lived there, and do currently)

In and around College Park, Maryland

Goleta (near Santa Barbara,) California

South Portland, Maine

7) 5 jobs I have had:

I won't get into my full-time job or company that I've been with since 1980, not publically. I'll say I most enjoyed the public outreach (constituents vice media) aspects and working with the youth.

Theatre ticket seller (live theater, not movie).

Administrative help for the Olympic Boardsailing Exhibition in 1984.

"Certified body fashion fitter," lingerie department, Woodies (Woodward and Lothrop).

Hostessing, waitressing, from Roy Rogers (the hostess outfit was a "cowgirl" theme), to Ledo's pizza with mixed drinks ha.

Volunteer at a local MNCPPC park.

Volunteer youth advisor at my (former?) church.

5 peeps I wanna know more about, noting I can't "tag" people who have been tagged already, and a few bloggettes are just not able to take the time right now for this, plus I'm limiting myself to public aol journals just because it's easier, SO:

Marc: Sober Gay Poz Ex-Con (he's just too interesting NOT to include)

Dan: The Wisdom of a Distracted Mind (because he seems to be photographically inspired lately, not prolific)

Happytail: Thoughts of an (almost) middle-aged veterinarian, or is it mother? (whether or not she plays along with this game, her journal appears to be underread and yet terrific sense of humour).

Rebecca: In The Shadow Of The Iris (one of the best blog writers ever, and a really cool and supportive person)

Angie: Peyton's Water (who doesn't really need explanation!-- adding -- as she's already known and loved! but, fyi, she also has ADD as does her one son in particular, and is well, a mother trying to do right by her kids and the world around her)

and so I picked 6, sue me:

Kathi: The Patchwork Quilt (who has several journals, including some about Soldier's Angels, in part as she's a military stepmom, and lives just one state away so SOMEtime we'll actually meet up!)

Okay, go for it!

Tags: neme

the cat's out now

2008-04-05T07:59:00.000-07:00

"E[name] offered me a ride." is what I said. Actually, it wasn't quite in that exact manner but that's close enough.
The proverbial cat's out of the bag now, I suppose. I'd sent an e-mail yesterday to the coordinator for my main dance group's outing today. Sometimes they like RSVP's for making reservations, and just to know. I'd responded that "we'd" be there at the ceili, not sure about the dinner, let me know if he's looking for a head count for the dinner social. So a woman friend in the group calls me this morning to offer me a ride, referred to by the coordinator.
The coordinator hadn't picked up that I'd said "We'd" be coming. The woman isn't stupid, and I'd have enjoyed riding with her and her husband. This event is at least an hour away. She's also too polite to truly comment, even if she DID repeat it back to me. "Oh, thanks J, I have a ride...." "Oh, with whom?" "E[name]." "E[name] is giving you a ride?" "Well, E[name] offered me a ride." "Oh, oh, um, I ah, I only asked as I wanted to be sure it wasn't [coordinators name] as he asked me to call you and make sure you had a ride." Later, E laughed, "She's one of the smartest people I know."

I then steered the conversation on to her husband -- while it's been kept private, I heard about his mini-stroke. I'd been quite concerned about it. We ended up talking at length on that, so I'm glad I told her I did know. He'd had this over Easter weekend, went online to search for symptons, and they took a cab to the "better" hospital for these things. He was at class this week and I got paired with him. I could tell in his speech though not so much in his movements. I'm SO glad he got treated well and so soon, and that it's truly going tobe FINE for him.Yes, I should take my low-dosage aspirin....

I've read and heard on the radio that relationships of different ages (over 10 years, and we're at 14 years difference), get as much scrutiny as mixed-race relationships. Hmmm, I'm not sure about that one. I'd think same race, different ages, would receive less. But ? M does not understand why I went hiking with E. Others have told me he's too old for me. We'll see how, and who, in our dance groups react. Some will be surprised, it never occurring to them. I know a couple of the guys have picked up on my interest in E. More so ones who take note of ME, not any of the others I suspect. Some ofthe women won't have thought of it, either. So, he's so well respected, yet "Dora" also well liked (and I do respect her, I can appreciate the courtesy and respect in their relationship that much more NOW than I possibly even could previously).
I adore this man, and have. I had a great time with him, again, last night (watched The Mexican, as I have that on VHS and it's not a kids movie and he said he'd put his DVD player together but eh, his VHS/VCR is already). Just hanging out. (Not that anyone should care but no sex; it's even great doing other things.) He DOES sometimes look old. He usually looks real cute. I'll be proud to be arriving with him tonight, and it'll be comfortable enough. And, we'll get to dance!
(Dancing is, of course, also helpful for blood circulation, general exercise, and for the mind-- not only as exercise but doing patterns both aid against dementia. Really. And endorphins can aid against depression.)
E finally let his mother know that he's not seeing his "friend" "Dora." In E's time on all that.

For our Irish dance community, let the scrutiny begin.

Weather today: gorgeous! I have the window open, and Daisy hasn't left it. Thecats noticed, also. I took an allergy pill. I'll call Doug -- I'm happier now that I've heard something finally from Dad's reverse mortgage company that I'm hoping is good. (I've really stressed.)
There is an Irish Dance group performing at "the" Tidal Basin this afternoon, around 3-4pm, should anyone be down that way. That is a real honor and treat -- likely as part of the cherry blossom festival. Yes, some are still out there. This is D.C.'s best season. I won't make this. Not sure just when E will be bringing his car back for me to run errands with. I didn't ask for that; he offered. I suppose then I'll pick HIM up for tonight's dinner and dance.

I also wish to write my Uncle Len. Oh, I've been MEANING to, anyway. Just busy, sick, busy, too anxious and stressedover some of my dad's affairs, etc. Len is now preparing his retirement. His disabilities are too great for him to recuperate and return to teaching this Spring. His primary care doctor told him not before fall. Big changes there for him and my aunt Beth. But, now they know. He will always be a teacher, really, just not officially technically. He's passed the torch, successfully, to
to his son, Ian. It wasn't the way they'd want Len to go out, of course. My anxiety attack earlier this week had me really thinking, wow, if I had these often? And, Len is having a lot of other unexplainable medical issues. My heart and concern has been going out to him, but I need to hand-write that to him.

M is finding more ways to use her cell phone when at her dad's; seems her newest boy interest is inspiring her. She even got online a bit last night to pull off digital photos I'd emailed her, for a project due Monday. I also printed them out, and photocopied other photos, for her to take on Friday. "Oh, THIS photo!" Glad she liked them. Ha. And general cleaning. And figuring out what I'll wear tonight. I'm not worried. I want to look nice, but I'll feel great, anyway. I'm going w/ E. :)
have a great day, all. kitty cuddles for me right now, birds chirping outside. Maybe I'll pick up some flowers...

Tags: E, M, Len

update in the rain

2008-04-04T15:57:00.000-07:00

Of course E wasn't upset with me for losing his car key. Of course, I'd already spent tons of time trying to find it, and he thought maybe I would after I returned home. Well, I DID look again, just because, but. And, he laughed with me about it. Good:) I suppose he had on his practical, work voice on earlier. (Or he'd chilled.) He DID send a couple e-mails I didn't see until this morning, "Losing keys happens to everyone, Robin, including me. Don't feel bad. Give me a call if you can. I'm going to leave here at xxxx. E[name]" Okay, well, THAT's good.

After not finding a neighbor to drive me down to E's home a few miles away, which, I admit, I wasn't eager to ask I started out with Daisy. E joked that he'd double-check to make sure he actually brings the spare key with him. We were going to meet halfway.

In the cold rain. Not a misty rain, but RAIN rain, before it got dark. Daisy kept freaking out at the sounds of the street even if the causes of the noises were safely IN the street, and us safely AWAY from said street. She'd calm down and sniff, sniff, smell, squat, sniff like beagles do, walk along with me, and then panic again. Sigh. Poor thing looked at me, tried to get free from her collar and pulled to go HOME. So, I let her lead me and we ran most of the way back.

With this delay, I tried to walk faster to make up time. E had left his home already. After a bit, I got into a groove with my heart and legs just moving forward, passing everything I could spend a moment looking at now instead of usual when I'm driving by in an instant. Gosh, this almost seemed romantic if it were about 20 F degrees warmer, us both walking in the rain to meet up. Was that E? That silhouette of a man coming my way, what if it's not him (well, I'd still say hello). He put his hand up to his forehead to block the rain, likely squinting. I moved the umbrella a bit so he could maybe see my face. Yes, this was E. With the rain jacket tied about his face, his glasses sprayed with rain water. He still had on his dressier shoes. He apologized for having me walk in the rain, saying he was going to walk me back, anyway. I'm thinking that I'm the one who made HIM walk, and miss his dance class, as I'd lost his car key to a car he is letting me borrow. Why is he apologizing? Yet, I'd hoped he'd walk back with me, and I could drive him home.

I stay walking just about as fast, as E likes to walk fast, also. This stayed good until almost the end when my sciatica felt tingy, so I hobbled walked and he slowed down. It was a little too wet for hug-walking, or holding hands. He liked my idea of stopping in Starbucks.

I knew M was happy to be home, warm, dry, fed, with no homework due, supposedly working on a composting project for Monday and folding laundry, but really chatting with friends via IM and texting. This included the boy she now likes, who has liked her for years and she thought was pathetic and all of that stuff, who'd gone on the group movie trip I chaperoned over Spring Break. She's shifted her friendship somewhat from J now, who doesn't really get along as friends with, hmm, I'll call him Al (you can call me Al, call me Al eh he may hate that song).

So, there we were, a middle-aged woman and a bit over middle-aged man, half soaked through, wet hair, sitting there in Starbucks over hot plain coffee (him) and a hot apple cider-like drink (me). The dry high-schoolers were filling up the place, not that it mattered. I imagine M wanting to work there in a couple years; she already wants a paid job as do many of her also not quite 14-year old friends. E had brought the key (good). We got to talk, things like, "Does that include us?" when asking about the # of people from our main dance group attending a ceili this weekend. We'd already talked about "outing" ourselves; neither of us cares who knows, we're both comfortable (or, we think so). Thaw out, and hold hands a little bit. Ask me about tonight as M is with her dad (albeit today he said that he understands needing time to oneself and he'd put me on the spot last night. I'd like to see him, though). We did then walk in the rain again the brief bit further back to his car near my place, and I dropped him off at his home.

Daisy was anxious to see me and go OUTSIDE. Indie had to wait until this morning. M updated me on which bathing suit she likes the most in Delia magazine (yellow, of course), potential graduation dresses, and what photos of herself as a young child she wants to use for her Spanish presentation next week, while still IM'g and texting. This level of electronic communication is still new for her; she knows I monitor it.

M's a really good kid, I'm SO proud of, on the verge of high school.

E's a really good man I'm happy to have in my life, also.

The future is upon us.

Tags: car key, M, E

big things that aren't, little things that are (big)

2008-04-03T12:25:00.000-07:00

Yesterday morning, E apologizes again for not having bought fresh milk. Not that I require it in my chai tea latte mix I keep there, that comes rather pre-dry milked; I just like adding more. He calls up to me, "Will non-fat dairy creamer work?" He'd scrounged for me. I'm really not worried about it, but gosh, that's so sweet and considerate. So I smile, "Yes, it will be fine, E[name]."

The engine in my vehicle may have finally died yesterday. Naturally, the day after I'd spent $48. in gas I can't truly afford. Just 2 days after the new registration had been due, which I had to pay an enormous $180. for a bit over a week ago (unused portion can be refunded, still, sheesz, who can afford to eat after paying that much? this is the cost everyone pays, somehow).

Last fall, my vehicle overheated, and replacing the water pump wasn't sufficient to fix the bit of engine damage. It's gotten worse. After E spent about an hour one pre-dusk evening trying to determine what is wrong with the antifreeze/coolant situation, he told me to call him if I get stranded. (Later, he and his brother put clues together and figured it's a blown head gasket. I don't know what a head gasket IS, but I know it's a critical part to a car's engine. When the emissions testing failed, it'd said the third cylinder had problems.)

So, yesterday I'd re-checked and thought I'd topped off the antifreeze levels, then headed to p/up M from "the" barn, connected to her school. Going uphill on a windy, 2-lane road with vegetation on the side (no place other than the road), it started losing power. Yikes, is this the transmission, or, no, not quite the same feeling....... it's not blowing warm air yet it's not overheating..... I prayed, and God let me get across the road into the road that's the entranceway to the school (and a neighborhood). In the MIDDLE, but out of the main street that'd have been dangerous.

I called a coworker to look up E's work #, and I did call him. It was really nice to have someone to call. I would only have had the mechanic I use, otherwise. A couple parents stopped to ask if I was okay, could they give M or I a ride (locally), did I need to use their cell phone...... One parent stopped with his large-sized pickup after picking up his daughter from "the" barn, asked me what was up, and said he'd be back with "the boys" to move me into a safer location off the road. He did, and they did, and they asked questions and tested things and wow, it started back up. I drove up to "the" barn, turned it around before it started putzing and died again. They re-tested the antifreeze including via the hose there, more questions. They, too, think it's likely a blown head gasket. This parent /guy just DOES, and I appreciate that, too.

I walked back out near the main street, so that E could see me. I'd tried E's cell phone, which I'd asked that he turn on. Seems it was dead. Ha. Well, he wasn't too lost. He volunteered to take us to M's class an hour away (WOW). She actually missed her class-class, but made all of her needed rehearsal time. Not that she was up for dancing. Not feeling top notch and very tired. Some of the dancers even came up to me, sad to hear of the car. Wow, so sweet of EVERYONE. E and I went to dinner, bringing M back leftovers. I was stressed and blood sugar low so I ate some before we talked car talk. And other talk, including finances, and more fun things. E decided he'd let me use his car for a few days; he uses public transportation for work, anyway. I'd get my vehicle in to be looked at, after removing some things, get a cost estimate and timeframe for either replacing an engine or finding a new vehicle. "I just have to have faith that God will get me through this." That combined with the idea that, really, compared with some of hte problems in the world, I'm alive, I can walk and talk, etc.

I was a bit hyper in the dance studio, talking with other parents, excited E was with me, feeling badly he'd come that far but wow. I was showing off photos, the group photos of the performing troupes, "See, here's M dancing at Strathmore [Center for the Performing Arts] last summer," "Here's their photos from the pages used in the program at the Oireachtas...." while she and the others danced in the other room. The Comhaltas (CCE Feis) opened up yesterday, and then capped in a record time of approximately 6.5 hours (last year was record time of about 12.5 hours). I'd gotten M registered, phew!, and much of the parental-talk in the studio was about this upcoming feis. Many did NOT make it in on time, yet 48 dancers from M's Irish dance school DID. MegaMAID had returned from a CCE Festival this past weekend, where she met some people E and I both know, or who E knows. (She had a great time! and is eager to do more ceili/set dances now, so yeah.)

We drop E off at his house, then drive home. "It's okay for me to leave my dance (shoe) bag in here, right?" "Yes." I'd drive her to school this a.m., class tonight. Throw her prop of an umbrella in with the bag, shut the doors, and press the "beep" button to lock everything. I have no idea what happened to the car key since then.

I have looked where I walk Daisy, we've gone through all sorts of areas in the house. Last night, this morning. I didn't sleep well, worried about this and I still haven't called Doug back about Dad's house issues (OY). Shaking my head, I feel like such a doofus. E sent an e-mail about how nice it was to have dinner with me and to hear the banter between M and I as he drove us back home, to only put as much gas in as I'll have immediate need for. I decide I'll have to see if I can pick up his dry cleaning for him today as otherwise he'll be out of clean office shirts until next week, assuming I find that key.

E was looking at fading microfiche from about 40 years ago, to research information, when I tried to call. Later, I finally left him a voicemail saying I hated to leave him a message with this question, but..... PHEW, a bit ago, he called and he does have spare keys. Plural. At his home, of course, which TODAY he's locked. He didn't seem happy, but he also seemed accepting of this next step in the process of the somewhat crisis. I so did not wish to bring him into any crisis or financial angst or anything that smacked of "irresponsible." It's not, though, it's lack of money with a light at the end of the tunnel once I'm not paying tuition. He tells me how it's basically noble and etc. of me to have sacrificed this for M. Well, I had to; her entire life is altered positively for her attendance there. She has a good foundation now. Just I'd like to appear to be running our independent lives successfully, at least for a couple more months until we have more time under our belts.

Last night, I responded to his arm around me, with my arm around him. That black leather jacket is soft; he was looking really cute. "So, are you my knight in black leather jacket?" He didn't seem to mind (then). :) And, in time, maybe we can laugh that I (OF COURSE ACK) lost his car key......

Of course, both E and M anticipate that I will stay looking for it today / tonight. Sure. Just, maybe can we also plan for the backup plan of the extra one? I was trying to get M back from HER class in time tonight, to let E go to HIS..... he said he didn't need to, heck, I wanted to pick up his dry cleaning for him today while at my lunchtime that didn't happen, but oh well. THIS isn't such a big thing, ultimately. That I could call E, that he's trying to think of me and keep me happy by searching for non-dairy creamer, and driving M to her required rehearsal for the recital? THOSE are the big things.......

I still feel like a doofus. And need to call the mechanic, that I owe money to but he's being super nice about it.........

Tags: cars, E, blown head gasket

explaining ADD to E; a few extra dimensions

2008-03-30T21:18:00.000-07:00

I have been trying to explain ADD/ADHD a bit to E lately. Alphabet soup here ha. he teaches me as well, really.

Anyway, one thing I've done is to send E an only slightly edited version of my entry some time back, which I called orange swirl. I'm not feeling the drowning/swirling ways so much lately. It still seemed an apt point to start our discussion from. orange swirl

(Yes, E knows I have a journal. He knows it's typed. He doesn't know that it's online and public. He seemed fascinated by a much-more edited entry I sent him, from last March when he'd given me dating advice. Ha. so, that's where they're hiding He says he was intrigued by this "orange swirl" one and he'll re-read it more later. I appreciate him trying to absorb these things. But, no, he doesn't need to know it's an online PUBLIC journal.)

E wrote:
Again, I must reread your note a few times to make sure I understand. Jurassic Park! I don't quite see how that fits in yet.
Thankyou, very insightful, E[name]

E actually wrote most of a page letter in response. I find I need to break letters down into their subject areas, and respond individually per subject area. FYI that his longer response included:
I read a book a couple of years ago. I think it was entitled something like, "The dog that died during the night." I forget the name of the author. The story was told in teh first person by a high functioning autistic boy. An unforgetable moment in the story is when he is running away from home and enters a train station. The train station is full of signs, the vast majority of which are totally irrelevant to telling him where he has to go to catch his train. But his mind gives all signs equal weight. He is totally unable to discriminate among the signs to those few that are relevant. Not that this is you, just that minds work in wonderously different ways.

He later did a search:"The book was, "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night," by Mark Haddon. It was published in the last few years. E[name] highly recommends this read. Very touching." I found a review here: Mark Haddon : The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time : Book Review Maybe E's right; this is not how my mind works, not fully completely. I think I'd like this book.

So I responded:

I wrote this over a year ago. I think I may have been referring to photos or graphic images of the chaos theory??? Are there some swirls? The movie was less "geeky," and didn't really go into the whole chaos theory hardly, but the book had. I preferred the geeky, and my physicist friends showed me some of their books.

And then the idea that there is beauty in chaos, and actually some sense of order.

The name "chaos" implies, well chaos. Some brains with ADD/ADHD appear as if they'd be chaotic. I was speculating the possibility that it's not all as random as it may appear to be.

I think. :)

Actually, if I were to enter a train station full of signs, and I was unfamiliar with that system and culture, say, a subway station in Spain, I'd be overwhelmed. I would have to decipher what each sign was saying and not necessarily be able to assign priorities, unless they were indicated by size, color, or location. They likely WOULD be differentiated, and I DO have a clue about signs in subway stations. I'm very visually-oriented, also. But, the most basic aspects of this description, is apt. It is an extreme example, but it's apt. If all signs were a similar height, size, and color, hey, they'd all appear of equal importance to ME.

I will look for that book.

A telephone ringing at another desk has as much attention, instinctively, in my brain as a person holding a conversation in another office, which then becomes distractingto me if I need to answer the phone as well (with any effectiveness).

E's last note to me tonight: Robin, you are not chaotic to me. Just a woman with a few extra dimensions than first meets the eye. Sleep you very well. E[name]

Sigh. Is there any reason here why I wouldn't just really like him? :)

E wrote, in his one reply that was longer: I have noticed sometimes that I have trouble keeping up with you. So I ask you to repeat something, thinking you're going to think I'm deaf. (I have really good hearing.) I'm still going a to b in my head as I'm listening, and perhaps you've gone to c. Is this correct? I do tend to be very linear.

To that part, I responded:

I apologize, E[name], for *I* know I have this, and *I* know that you do not. You may not have gotten around to setting up your DVD player and finishing the cabinets, but I have figured out some time past, that you don't struggle with ADD/ADHD. (I also know that you have no real reason or desire to get around to that DVD player.) I have about half a trilliion projects going on at any one time. If I'm tired, or excited, I am even more likely to jump about on tangents and not verbalize the connection. I sometimes really like the idea of being linear, I may even need it sometimes; it's just not always happening inside my head. I know you're smart, and I haven't noticed any hearing difficulties. I've noticed myself rushing information and that I need to work better at this with you. I think I've just gotten excited sometimes in talking with you.

Actually, and this may sound bizarre, but having a distraction on in the background that's not overpowering, can be calming. It lets my brain bounce about, while having more focus on the one item. For example, if doing homework, or holding a conversation. If in the background is some light music, or I'm washing dishes, I can actually focus BETTER on the homework or conversation. Really. And I'm not sure that that even makes any sense. I know it is helpful.

If I could differentiate this paragraph here!:
I haven't yet gotten up the gumption to send him (an edited?) version of THIS entry of mine, romance and ADD/ADHD, even while my paragraph abovetries to hint that just maybe a bit of music in the background might further enhance the ambiance of the moment at times...... :) Romance and ADD / ADHD

Note that E, the eldest of six, has a younger brother with different-abilities, including but definitely not limited to being highly autistic. I never knew that until this year, and I stay learning more about his whole family. It helped me understand E's patient dealings with the two people in our main dance group that have "differences." I had taken note of it, and appreciate his respect forall people, just now after 6 years, I understand more E's "why."

Tags: ADD, ADHD, autism

Different kind of Easter.

2008-03-24T15:48:00.000-07:00

M spent Easter with her dad, et al. She was due to be with me, but this way, her weekends work out how she wants them to. "So, the weekends will work out?!" "Yes, honey." "Is that why you're being so nice [by switching it, and, losing a whole weekend not only switching]?" It's for her, yes. So, now she'll be with me for her 8th grade graduation weekend, which makes her happy. Even if I did cry briefly after dropping her off (for most of a day with my mom until Sh p/up'd M -- which Grandma and M both really needed).

It'd been snow, sleet, and hail, most reports were of hail, on Saturday. I tried to find E an Easter bunny with German chocolate (long sold out), and fun things for M's basket. M's basket is a trash can. Yes, a silver trashcan with a pink lid that opens when a pink lever is pressed. She's been wanting it, and while it was a pricey $19.98 (for a trash can?!), it'll get used more than the less pricey pails with polka dots and pink trim. I can still put in the rubby-duck / chick themed items. She picked out her own long-earred rabbit previously, and pink Peeps.

I wasn't so sure I'd be hiking Sunday morning, even if E called my plans "Delightful." I couldn't locate the "backup church" plan/time for services. Sunday afternoon, I'd read of a sad event in a friends life, cried, prayed, (plus e-mails with Mom, my aunts, etc.) and yes, Daisy, let's go. She thought it was for a regular walk, and headed in the opposite direction of my vehicle. "Do you really want to go this way, or go for a ride?" I didn't emphasize the word, yet she looked up at me, obviously recognizing "ride," and "trotted" to my vehicle to sit by the door and look up. Good girl:)

I love the C&O Canal, and went to one of my favorite locks. (I decided fairly readily not to bring Dad this time -- he's heavy in that "urn," and he's not into Easter.) Daisy got excited as we drove down the dirt road to the parking area. A few other vehicles, one with DIPLOMAT plates, whose riders had prepared a picnic. Eh, those license plates are not uncommon around here, and I'm glad the people found this historical and lovely spot as well during their visit to the U.S. And then others. Kids. A dog. Daisy was both highly excited, and overwhelmed and cautious, sniffing and moving about. Less than an hourin, she lead me down the correct side path that took us back; I opened the door; she jumped right in. Okay, sigh. We tried. Spring wasn't too visible in the foliage, but it seemed busy with people for that particular area.

On to "the" park. It's near "the" barn. Daisy knows it as "the barn." She was quite happy. It wasn't too long before she led me down the path to the pond. I wanted her to pose on the edge but she wouldn't look at me. Oh. A pair of Canada geese were floating along. Just two weekends ago, Daisy saw her first mallards and you'd have thought she'd died and gone to heaven, except not wanting to get more than her paws wet, and them flying off, cunfounded her. This time, Daisy also ran around the edge of the pond. I'd held on to her leash that day 2 weekends ago, in the rain. This time, I didn't anticipate any harm to the geese, nor that Daisy would wander off (being that she was too focused), so I just let her go. Racing from one side of the pond to the other, dragging that leash into the mud. Then she got in the water up to her chest and quickly backed out, as if surprised to be wet in her zealous excitement.

One side of "the" pond, the geese started coming TO Daisy, and talking. Ignorant me, simply captured Daisy on my cell phone to send on to M. A few minutes later, I see Daisy approach with her nose stuck out waringly, then retreat back quickly, then repeat her forward sniff. What had she found? I was still not worried. Oh. Two big beautiful white eggs. In a round hay-colored, grassy nest. On the side of the pond. The geese were protecting it, or attempting to without completely offering themselves up as sacrifices. Daisy likes plastic Easter eggs more than she'll ever like to play with tennis balls. I immediately got her by the leash and lead her away from these real life Easter goose eggs. (She didn't even get that stubborn beagle bit going.) She hated me trying to wash her off with warm pumped water up at the barn itself. I let Daisy graze on the fresh spring grass, hoping she'd dry sufficiently in the warmer sun, and gave (horse) Red handfuls of new grass, too.

Peace. In God's own creation. Thank you, dear Lord.

I was so tired when I got home. After about 2.5 hours outside, Daisy slept soundly. I tried calling M's cell phone, and then left a message on her dad's home phone (which never got returnedsigh, it was Easter, can I TALK-talk w/ her, please? Or, today?). Naturally, while taking a shower then bath, is when M texted me. Only texts. "Was this at [location]?" Did you change my plan, I got a text saying my phone's plan was changed. "Yes." "Yes, I upgraded your # of texts." "2 unlimited??" Ha. No, I changed it to 1,000. She did say thanks:) I tried to tell her two times that she was already up to almost 800 and to try to not go over. "I'll try :) " That she was allowed to text was nicer than she often gets, even if no communication should ever be discouraged. She uses it for homework purposes even, I KNOW that. One friend has some serious home issues going on, so this lets him "talk" w/out voice, like M does when she's at C's. Two friends have cell phones now who had not. She went over her 300 minutes last month. It was time.

I knew E wouldn't care what I wore, yet, as a girlfriend said, I would, and dressing to look nice was for me to feel good. I even painted my nails a light shade that's wearing off a day later. The radio station went dead as I was driving to the restaurant, so I grabbed a cd. From BJ. Beautiful classical "Fur Elise." Calming, typically, I love it; this time it reminded me of my father playing it. Wait, no tears allowed right now! Quick, Natasha Bedengfeld (sp) to the rescue ha, upbeat and feminine.

We were both nervous. It became more comfortable; we'd hold hands or play with them. He'd brought some photos (I had asked for grandkid E photos). Etc. He laid out all the potential stuff he thought could be a hindrance for me, plus general info -- about his ex-girlfriend (I give him credit for how long he stayed supporting her through some issues), and he brought up SO, and his (E's) romantic history, and a lot (including something he's only told his ex-girlfriend, and now, me). I told him he didn't have to tell me that stuff, but if he wanted to, I'd listen. Including asking me, why him, just in different words. As E said, we've known each other a long time now, so this wasn't a typical first meeting. Thankfully. I hate those and hope to never have one again. He said, "I didn't expect this to be fun." "Well, I was hoping tonight would be fun!" I do really respect him for his openness and he is of fine overall character. A quality guy, like I referred to in a post last March when E was giving me dating advice. Ha. (He hadn't remembered doing that.) So open, respectful and trusting, and, as a girlfriend said, comfortable with himself / who he is. Hmmm, true. He'd even been to the same park, quite different area, only about an hour separate from when I'd gone.

We were both more relaxed after all this serious stuff. I did get my kiss with him, that I've literally dreamed about. We left the one place, that was closing, for another. He asked where I'd parked. "Right by yours." "Isn't that sweet." And then he kissed me. And, this time, he was looking over from his car to mine to be sure mine got started okay, before he started to drive off.

A lot of kisses later, him a smile on his face I enjoyed seeing, and most likely one on mine as well. He IS cute, especially in his "hang around the house" jeans I'd not seen previously, and has thee softest hair.

I do look forward to Missy M being home (while I'm happy she had some fun on Easter and all of that). A dinner with E tomorrow night, however, will help me keep my mind off of M. :) Heck, he even offered to help me with stuff at my dad's...... not as fun, yet a stress reliever of its own (there are issues there sigh). Did I mention how sweet E is?

Oops, dag, rehearsal in 45 minutes. E has a conflict, heck, E didn't connect that we had a rehearsal. That's okay. I can "do" calendars (when I get it ON my calendar). My disorganization comes in other fashions.

I hope he's not rebounding. He has contemplated a lot of this, however; *I* have contemplated a lot of this, pros and cons. Our reality won't be the same as my fantasy, and I won't be "Dora" for him. Yet, we can only take this chance, and see. Spring could be pretty good. :)

Tags: E, Easter, M

Happy National Sweater Day! oh, and happy Spring

2008-03-20T10:53:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday, Mr. Fred Rogers. And TCRG Ma, and my girlfriend's daughter who turns 20 years old today. M told me earlier this week that today is National Sweater Day, in honor of Mr. Rogers.

I always loved him, and his show. Did you know, he was also an ordained Presbyterian minister? Fred Rogers dies at 74

It's a very windy day today. Tuesday evening, after a mini-ceili but no one w/ energy to go out after, after sprinkles in the day including my coworker's dad's funeral, as if signaling the end of the St. Paddy's Day season of wearin of the green, the rain started in with more earnest. Both the local town parade and the big city parade this past weekend were rain (and snow) free! YEAH and wow! M did FANTASTICALLY. She got her dream of finally being able to dance on a float in her solo dress, while it moved through the "big city' parade. She'd been allowed to the past few years, but she'd been with C, and so she couldn't go. Even Monday was busy, with me taking M up to dance at Si's school (precious the two of them), and her being the highlight of the show at a retirement/nursing home my main dance group danced that evening. Good times. Just, done. And the rain began.

The rain stopped this morning. Wind advisory until late tonight, rain again tomorrow. Of course -- doesn't it always rain, as if God crying, on Good Friday? A cold rain?

I'm so ready for the new season now. While St. Paddy's Day season was a lot of fun, M and I were both sick for enough of it, even w/ things scaled back a lot, even while enjoying it (including some extra time with E! yes, I should have known, he'll deal with me and how I am to him, what I say, not worry about SO ("So, last night must have been pretty stressful for you?" "Yes. Thanks for helping me out with it." "No problem." Phew.) I'm ready now to move on.

Even if this morning my car said, "Check gages." Shouldn't that be "gauges?" Sigh, low on antifreeze again, apparently, as the gauge indicated hotter than desired (but not overheating). (I have to replace it often until I can get the radiator and/or hoses fixed.) Even if my paycheck comes next week, oh, good, I have about $67. to cover me until then, as long as the double-charge of another date gets fixed. Even with just now receiving a response from C / Sh about Easter break (which starts tomorrow,all!).

So, this Robin says Happy Spring as well! To get you rapping along with the change of seasons, per a Montessori teacher (named Darin Cort): -- YouTube - Montessori: The Rap If you click on "for more info," you'll see the printed words.)

I shoudl add -- it IS Maundy Thursday. The day in honor of the Last Supper. Easter feels way too early this year. Maybe we'll have fish for dinner, and bread.?

Tags: Mr. Rogers, Sweater Day, Montessori Rap, Spring, St. Paddy's Day

Timing

2008-03-14T22:05:00.000-07:00

Timing. Little Si knows whattiming she needs, and when she can double with it and when she simply needs it faster. (She did that tonight, ha, with OHBoy playing fiddle. She got to wear her solo dress and looked great, exhausted but excited.) But, men? Sheesz.
Oh, M looked fantastic!, as did the other dancers. Ma asked me what numbers to do, this was following a big gig (fancy country club). I got her a beer from E, and she was there to ceili/set dance. We chose 3-4 numbers. Their timing ws great:) E sat near me, "I'm just blown away, I'm blown away." Yeah, they're fantastic. I loved M's smile, too. She seemedto be having a lot of fun, nice wooden floors, etc.
So, SO. We had to talk a fair bit in advance of this whole ceili due to logistics of the two dance schools. Okay, fine, ours was flexible. His girls new one, was less so. (He apologized.) We're fine. He asked about the parade tomorrow, and I relay what my main dance group's doing, as he used to be a member.
Talking w/ a girlfriend, she says, wait, you asked him tothe party? No, I just told him about it. SO tells me he's looking forward to seeing me, watching the dancers, etc. I barely noticed, and instead had gotten all excited that I'd also gotten E's cell phone #, and he'd written that it'd be great to see me and meet some of my friends.
I couldn't even think of C there -- as in , primarily ignored him but not in a negative way just generally, who was there, btw.
Nah, it all ended early (sound restrictions switched hours, and the coordinator who I swear may be getting dementia, is really never good at these types of details, and timing and such, anyway. So E walks over towards where I am, not quite there. SO was near me, with his ever delightful girls. I DO miss them still. I wish they could have become my stepdaughters. Anyway.
It's been 5 years, and SO asked me to dance once last month at big ceili. We haven't talked a lot, other than atROI feis, and when dad died, andthis weeksome. He gives me a hug, says something positive I forget, and kissed me on my head. WTF?
E saw that. Stops. And walks away.

SHIT.

E and SO are even dance friends. This is a setback for E and me.

Damage control tomorrow, somehow.

Oy.
On the other hand, I'm thrilled Ma stayed and danced some, and MegaMAID, along with some of my main dance group seeing M's dance troupe perform. (The coordinator came over with a bigsmile, and shook my hand even.) I do hope to get a few more of them out dancing ceili/set dancing sometime, and this was a first step.

It's over. Tonight is over. But, shit, SO. what are you thinking?

I'm NOT going to screw up chances with E, b/c of SO. Or, I hope not, I don't intend to -- and HE hugged me, not vice vers
Timing. Sometimes, it's everything.

Tags: E, SO, M

follow-up to comments; today's mismash

2008-03-11T09:08:00.000-07:00

Ha, well, yeah. He IS a great guy:) I wish him well, no matter what happens with us, but gosh. lol

I really REALLY tried to keep it short, too........

I know when E gets his hair cut, or there's beer foam on his lip (which is somehow really sexy or so I thought that one buzzed St. Pat's parade afternoon when we'd sat next to each other some years ago), I notice when he gets new pants, or he's wearing the shirt that MUST be his favorite..... that he tears the sizing patch off of the back of all his blue jeans, that he hunches a little but he's still a good size and height for me, and his favorite color must be blue, besides, they match his eyes.

And likely no one else I know would see a photo and think, HIM? But, what do I care?

Swooning in such a way that everyone notices, nah, but when it's just him and me? I guess I can. We'll see.

If too many pick up on this, they'll start prying and providing their advice. I don't want THAT pressure on him (or me). But, he's fine walking out with me, and heck, that works for me. I'm proud and happy to be with E, I just don't want the "advice givers."

Oh, and M's astronomy night Monday night was really good, too. :) Two hours of middle school science presentations, and her dad didn't even show, but hey. These kids are awesome.

Iin my dreams, I think I"m still swooning, lol.

Oh, yeah, E's classy as hell, but smokes some, drinks some, and has that black leather jacket and sometimes, when it doesn't matter, he doesn't care, when it matters, he does. I like his perspective on most things.

I think he was a geek in high school; I'm fairly certain it's something we talked about once upon a time. I actually really like geeks. I'm at the point where I want a guy with self-confidence (not too cocky, but self-confidence), and some geeks, heck some people, don't. E has enough of all the above.

So, yeah. :)

We shall see.

Now -- for ceili (Marc's comment): Ceili = dance. Or ceilidh. Or that's for the social gathering form that often includes dancing, as dance = rince, I *think*.

Ceili IS also a girls name, more like Kaylee or such other spellings here in the U.S.

I had a screen name Sunfireflydancer, for sundance (my former cat and fav movie, and I added the er), and firefly, my daughter's favorite costume as a child and how wonderful she was in it. So, I was called "Sun" by people online.

So, I do both ceili and set dancing (both types of Irish dancing, just different forms), ceili is more progressive. It's probably a gaelic word, or ceilidh is, or?

So, I had to keep "sun" in there, and sundancer, and added the ceili, for ceilisundancer. :)

That's the short version. lol

And, today that time change is catching up. Sunday I still had a big smile on my face. I also got some things done and not as much as I intended but one big thing (dance floor picked up from friends). I did NOT go to a once a month Sunday afternoon ceili at a pub, even while invited and I really like that one. I think E goes regularly, and I don't want to suddenly appear everywhere he is if I don't, regularly. Besides, I had to pick up that dance floor. Those friends have started taking ceili/set dance lessons as well, OHBoy's parents. The dad is much more interested in this than the mom is. They'll come to my main dance group's ceili this weekend (OHBoy and M and others will perform yeah), and sometime, we'll get a group together for that particular ceili and it will feel more natural to be there.

Yesterday was, I think, "take a nap day." TODAY I want it!

Besides, today, M is sick. We're re-checking her temperature now. Dag, it's not working. Her throat hurts and her head. Usually even when she's not feeling well, she does not want to miss school. She has no reason to not go to school today, heck, it's even J's birthday (her often crush now seemingly more just a good friend), and she'd not miss that. I knew M was truly sick when she said she felt she needed to stay home. Just NOW she tells me that a classmate had strept throat. M is definitely getting in to see a doctor.....
I don't mess with strept (had it WAY too often as a child, and as an adult).

(Si, M's half-sister, came down with yet another high fever this past Sunday night, poor thing, and likely out of school yesterday. Sh has been sick, also. Note -- C is well and could have gone to M's astronomy night. The doctor's office didn't find it too applicable that a classmate had strept throat. Ah, a class of 18 kids and they're always there with each other, and the girl had it about a week with minimal symptons before she knew? They went with "the sister has strept." Um, okay, sure. I hope Si doesn't have strept again, but we'll say she does if it means M can get tested. M had a bit of a fever the day and night of her Cinderella play, which went fantastically, btw, I'm SOOOO proud of my Cinderella!!! (and E seemed disappointed to have missed ah well, I wasn't pressuring him by asking after he declined "Big Show.")) I want my missy well. Too much crap continuing to go around. I haven't been feeling well myself off and on for weeks now, but I figure my boss is tired of me saying I'm feeling sick.
Tags: E, strept throat

E (I try not to swoon too noticeably)

2008-03-10T14:58:00.000-07:00

"I want to keep her to myself this time."

I want to remember those words. "I want to keep her to myself this time."

Or maybe it was "for" and not "to." Or "I'm going to..." and not "I want to...." Eh, whatever.

E, my favorite dancer good friend, E, whom I've liked for 6 years. Yep, 6 years. I was warned by one of the other women, a woman I'm friends with now but we were new to each other then, that I should stay away from E as he's too old for me. Not b/c of his girlfriend, albeit that was E's reason (while flattered, he said, and then telling me that SO had asked E for my number). Sometimes I"ve had to tell myself to STOP that crush feeling. He and a woman I'll call Dora (not her name), have finally stopped dating about 3 months ago from what I can tell. I didn't even pick up on that at first; the first ceili we both attended after E and Dora's breakup, I DID notice that I got more dances in with him than usual, and with P, another favorite dancer (who is married, btw, I'm NOT persuing him never have, we just enjoy how we both dance when together).

E and I are good friends. He is a really dear friend and I'd hate to screw that up. We have talked about all sorts of things over the years. Heck, he even came to his ex-wife's church (mine, ironically), to be there for me at Dad's memorial service, among other things, (such as giving me dating advice haha, gee, thanks, E, and we talk about our kids, and his grandkid named after him!, life, religion, politics, most anything). But, gosh, I adore him.

And I have adored E, even while dating SO, and BJ. BJ knew I like E, and they met a couple times. Heck, other "pretty pretty boys" of mine, guy friends, know of E. One bisexual guy friend of mine, who dances in the Baltimore area, couldn't see the appeal, that E's older and yadda yadda. Ah, yeah, E can hold his own. He's likely in better shape than that guy, actually, anyway ha. And E's sweet, a good man, respectful, smart, fun, classy, laid-back, a touch of the bad boy in a really great guy, and dances in a style that really works well for me, etc., there are many good reasons. Believe me, with E "available," I've had to re-think this through. It may not be fantastical any more, but a possibility, and do I still want that? E used to tell me that he's too old for me. Hmm, is he? Nah, not really, not in any way that truly matters. SO doesn't know I like E but oh well.

Since January, when I returned to my dance group, my first outing with them again, it's been a bit of a sometimes friends, sometimes paying some attention, as if an old-fashioned almost not quite courting. Not quite yet. But like Barack Obama's Presidential campaign, there is no suspension of hope:) (Hey, he's still ahead in the delegate count! YEAH!)

My knight in black-leather jacket. That January night, enroute to the after-dance class outing, my car died. Near a gas station, I tried to handle the situation; I've been unattached long enough, I can do this. It still didn't work. I called the place where my friends were, and a girlfriend said that E jumped up to get the phone when the waiter announced I was calling and my car had broken down. And he came, on foot, putting out his cigarette, and helped, at the same time two police officers came, all doing the thing I'd be trying next but hey. E is like that, anyway, but that he was the first one to respond, jump up to assist me, yeah....... my girlfriend who knows I like E said she decided to just let him respond, instead of her. And he said he'd stay w/ me there at the restaurant while others left, once we got there, but some of them stayed, too. We all toasted my dad, and the two recently passed mothers. And I felt my emotional release then, back w/ friends, drinking (one glass) to my dad. When we all departed, people gave their hugs, and I gave E a hug and surprised myself by giving him a quick kiss that hit his neck. Oy. I only had one beer. I think he didn't hear my (positive) comment which is just as well.

And then a parade fundraiser where our group danced, where I asked him about him using an extra ticket I had to M's "Big Show" and he got all fumbling and flustered, something about things being topsy-turvy right now. We were otherwise fine, hanging out some, and with others, too. I e-mailed him later, telling him I'm sorry for whatever is going topsy-turvy in his life, and that I hope when it stops spinning, his world lands in a way thatis best for him; he deservesto be happy. I meant it, really, never mentioning "Dora," (nor has he) but if they reunited, and he'd be happy, so be it. He later e-mailed me, ironically as I'm SURE he didn't notice, on St. Valentine's Day. Basically, he wrote a thanks for the nice thoughts and he's sure there will be future dance extravaganzas.

And classes, where we sometimes dance sometimes not, as per usual and I let him decide / ask. And a couple ceili's and the Old Town Alexandria parade (where he drove M and me back to our car after we all ate out as per usual, a day M and I have as a fun day). And the President's party..... Friends hosted a President's Day party, and M arranged to stay over L's house as they had a lot of weekend dance rehearsals, anyway. I didn't know who to dress as; that part was challenging. I finally went not as a U.S. President, but as the late President Bhuta, including a blue veil that had been a celtic-scarf prop of M's in her dance stuff. And reddish open-toed heels. I had to paint my toenails. I had to find pantyhose. A few mistook me for Jacqueline Kennedy in mourning, but nah, I think I'd have carried an eternal flame with me for that one. (Ah, but I respect her and found that to be a compliment.) I actually knew a lot more of the trivia questions than several others did. I suppose reading the newspaper when I can, helps. E kept telling me how nice I looked, "Did you really just come up with that outfit today?" He wore "Bushisms" around his neck. We talked, and danced some, briefly, as most were not up for dancing except the host, so we obliged briefly.

It varies. I'm trying to give him time and space. Sometimes he is just with the others and that's okay. And, yet.

I didn't go to this ceili out of northern Virginia last month, even though many in my main dance group did. It was our groups "social outing" of the month. I was just too busy and they left earlier than I could do to get there. My girlfriend reported that "Dora" didn't even show to THAT one (and she lives in northern Virginia), and that it was overall a really fun time. Okay, a really fun time ceili outing; I'd go this month when "our" group did. I didn't go to the social/dinner outing beforehand -- M had a gig, and she was GREAT! and so fun to see her! E had gone to the dinner, and, just as I told the coordinator, I arrived in time for the carpooling, right as they were finishing up the check. E then absent-mindedly put all the collected cash into his wallet. He NEVER does stuff like that ha, and embarrassed, quickly fixed it, then went home to change while I rode over with others.

At "big ceili" last month, the one with my other dance group, that I try to attend monthly, I danced with SO, and LF, and several others including a few with E. It was weird to dance with SO again, it's both comfortable and weird as we hadn't hardly at all after we broke up, and this time just after I'd just danced (probably swooningly) with E, and followed with a dance with E he asked me to, actually, Sweets of May which I don't care for but with E? Of course. Later, E and I went to dance a waltz. I may have asked him. It's typical for either gender to just ask others to dance, but he did ask me those other times. I love to waltz. I love E's style. He can just move and flow to the music, and I'm floating along with him. It's still to the great live music. So we start out, and he says that he hopes he's not too boring (of a waltzer for me). Huh? Where'd his confidence go? He mentioned not adding lots of fancy things. "I've waltzed with you before, E."

E's my favorite waltzer, something SO never did quite get quite right, albeit he tried for my sake and he's decent at it, and otherwise a good dancer. I actually didn't dance Clare Lancers, which disappointed me, until I realized, duh, P wasn't there, and he and I almost always dance that one with each other (and have a fantastic time). But, did E not realize how thrilled I was to waltz with him, one of my favorite dances, with him?

So, Saturday, there were a bunch of ceili dances to start off, more boring ones actually. E and I laughed and agreed to skip the "shoe the donkey," and he asked, "What's next?" "It's a waltz." "Well, then, let's do the waltz next." That worked for me. There is a group/set dance for the waltz called the waltz cotillion. SO used to arrange those if we were going to waltz, sigh, okay, it's lovely truly and fun occasionally, but not what I want, typically, comparatively. Another guy saw E(and I), entering the dance floor, and this guy came over excitedly. As part of him asking if we'd join their set, he even said how much he'd LOVE to have E in the group (being that he's an expert on most set dances. Ironically, he and I learned the waltz cotillion together some years ago in my main dance class). E had to respond quickly, and did say something akin to "No, thanks." But, the part I like, "I want to keep her to myself this time."

Ah, yeah. I think he's coming around........... :)

After, E thanked me, which is common for dance partners to do, and added that he hoped to dance with me for another dance later in the evening. And, we did, having great fun with the Cashel Set, across from "Dancing Bug" and his dance partner for that set.

There were other fun dances, haymaker's jig ended up good, with a guy new to me I guided through, and a set dance similar to the North Kerry but with a Gaelic name that starts with an S and I can't pronounce, lol. This was with a girlfriend, in a set that did happen to include E. Then there was another waltz which I danced with "Dancing Bug." He is a very skilled dancer, and often adds a lot of fancy moves and stepwork. As he can stay being smooth about it, fitting all that in as if natural, it works. Some others can (E can when he wants), but many cannot. (It can also become TOO much at times.) "Thank you, Robin, that was grand." Ah, yes, it was actually. Grand. E and a friend had watched, "He put a lot of swing moves into that waltz." "Yeah, well, it worked." :) I forgot until about then, that "Dora" doesn't really care to waltz. (She is a FANTASTIC Irish dancer, though, and I won't pretend to compare with her step dancing skills.)

Carpooling home, E offered to take me back the hour to my car. I told my ride over (as we thought we had an extra person enroute back, anyway). Then she was reworking it so E wouldn't have to take anyone. Wait, huh? I'm sure she's clueless about the E and I potential, and I'm happy to leave those out of it, out of it. E said something about just come with me, and put his arm on my back briefly. "Okay; let's go," I was not waiting for further discussion! Now, another guy friend who'd ridden with us may have noticed. The new guy and I smiled at each other, again, as I walked out with E.

That supposed hour ride home sure seemed to be done within minutes. Classical music, okay, I thought so. I listened to only classical for about 4 years after M's birth. We just talked, including of religion (oy, do I HAVE to bring that up again? but it's been on my mind a lot lately, being Easter/Lent and all and me feeling churchless). I'd love to go hiking w/ him sometime. Or on his boat we talked more about. It felt like being dropped off from a date when I went to get out of his car, for a moment. He verified when he'd see me again (we're both missing practice rehearsal tonight, "We know those." "Yes, we do." He and I are tops for two good dances, North Kerry Set and Clare Lancers, yeah for a gig next week that M will join us for, actually.) Then he sped off. HA, he's the type to stay and make sure the car starts, at least, he has for me. It's okay. In time.

"You've already won me over, in spite of me. Don't be surprised to find me head over heels....." --Alannis Morrissette

Tags: waltz, ceili, E

Happy news! Congrats Kathi and Tony

2008-02-29T08:22:00.000-08:00

Just wishing Kathi and Tony many very very blessed and happy remaining years of their lives! Click here: Our Wedding 2/28/08 to see photos of their (small, private, HAPPY) wedding yesterday!

(Kathi, pretend I've added a lot of pretty, fancy, beautiful graphics and Psalms here, kay? Meaning, pretend I even know HOW lol.)
Tags: Kathi and Tony, wedding

The morning after.

2008-02-13T05:36:00.000-08:00

The morning after.

It took me about 40 some minutes to figure out that M's school has a 1 hour delay, and my work has a 2 hour delay! We rarely get a delay or closed, it's usually the equivalent of "if you need to take time off, you're allowed to use your vacation or sick time or take off without pay if you don't have vacation or sick time." Today, there's enough ice and freezing rain and "wintery mix," that it's warranted. Worse last night, however. Solid ice in my neighborhood, where it's half melted now. Every blade of grass, every pine needle, is coated individually in ice, some now dripping.

We enjoyed a show by Trinity Irish Dance Company in Gettysburg. Frankly, I enjoyed the music almost more -- live musicians, the song Lark in the Morning (I could HEAR that lark, a beautiful and rousing reel), and a song near the end, Extraordinary. The singer had written it for a good friend also departing Ireland, who ended up happy in Australia. I thought of Dougie for that one. (Musicians Christopher Layer, Brendan O'Shea, and Barret Harvey).

There had been more snow in Pennsylvania, and I'd never seen "the square." It's really a roundabout / traffic circle with little shops about. Beautiful, really, in the snow. Traveling to my mom's town, who then drove us on to Gettysburg, SO many accidents south of us, many major roads closed. This morning, I hear route 15 near Thurmont is closed due to a traffic trailer overturning. We drove along there last night in the freezing rain, seemed okay enough with few on the highway, except my mother's wiper blade was getting coated in ice
ice itself and so not working as effeciently as it should.
It was beautiful, and, as the musicians stated, quaint. My mother commented a few times how she'd like to return and spend some time in that restaurant (caleld The Pub but really a restaurant). The whole place seemed stepping back in time a mite there in the snow, too. The Majestic Theatre a renovated historical building.

The dancers werefantastic, all obviously the top of the top, Open Champions sure, but better somehow.Ah, yes, many world qualifiers, one won nationals at least once, their piece, The Dawn won the gold medal at Worlds, etc. I like the overall show of M's ID schools better, to be honest, but this was quite enjoyable. (M's ID school's various performing troupes have dances that are more likely to tell a story, especially in their "Big Show" that's coming up, and have varying costumes and visual art.) A Trinity piece with East Indian music (called Goddess), and a piece with drums, (called Black Rose), were both really great. Some of the others pieces showed traditional steps in their choreography -- done exceptionally well, mind. The sole male dancer did fantastic hardshoe, as did some of the females, those Treble Jig(s) were fantastic, albeit his was highlighted more and WOW WOW WOW. We met up with "the other M" and her mom, too. We're all glad we went. Waiting to get into my mom's vehicle, M was shivering a bit, said, "I want to DANCE!" FYI -- Trinity Irish Dance Company are performing at the Weinberg Center in Frederick, Maryland, tonight (http://www.weinbergcenter.org).

During intermission, I called a girlfriend for primary election results. I voted during lunchtime combined w/ my quick posting, and at first the registrat couldn't pull up my particulars. He typed in my name 2-3 times. He was able to find me via my street address, and said I was the third person who this had occurred with. He did report the problem to the election judge. I was still wearing my "I voted" sticker Maryland polling locations hand out, when my girlfriend called me back later. She left a message as the second half of the show was on, so scrambled, it sounded as if she said Huckabee had won Virginia. Pennsylvania didn't vote yesterday so I wasn't going tobe able to find out THERE, with no media going on. I found out later, the huge amount of weather and traffic difficulties had the Maryland Election Judge declare that polls would remain open until 9:30 p.m., instead of 8:00 p.m. This makes sense, no matter whom someone was attempting to vote for. Too many were delayed getting home, to families, pets, and their own voting location. Italked w/ my friend again on the drive home -- better results at that point but still not 100% in. It was sounding good.

This a.m.? The front page of The Washington Post shows Barack Obama smiling, holding a box of Duncan Donuts, standing near D.C. Mayor Adrian Fenty, and a young girl, from a campaign stop he'd made in D.C. yesterday morning. In LARGE font: "Obama, McCain Sweep Primaries."

M tried to watch results last night on television, but even though she'd slept to and from the show, I had her get tobed. She'll be happy -- from the paper: The District: Obama 75%, Clinton 24%,; Maryland: Obama 62%, Clnton 35%. Virginia, Clinton 64%, Clinton 35%. NOTE: These were tentative resultsbased upon poll results received by the time the newspaper had to go to press. While the overall results of who won remain the same, the exact percentages, and not sure but perhaps even the exact number of delegates assigned, are likely not to turn out exactly as listed here. It is reported everyplace I've seen that Senator Barack Obama is now ahead in number of delegates, and THAT is exciting, too :)

I was a mite amused to hear reports that the demographics didn't stick to the supposed mold. Ahh, gee, so us Democrats who are older than 30/35/40, white, and make under whatever amounts were said, actually can vote NOT for Hillary Clinton? At the Barack Obama rally on Monday, a diverse group of people, of a wide age range, were not only there but supporting him or on the fence. If someone wants to vote for Hillary Clinton -- great -- let him or her; a Presidential election should not be based upon gender or ethnic background, but on him or herself, and his or her policies. I'm happy the demographers have figured out that many of us have already figured this out:)

Senator John McCain won between 50 and 67% of votes. The 50% was in Virginia, where they have open elections -- the rumour? is that many Republicans were thinking of voting for Hillary Clinton as they figure she's more likely to lose, is easier to be beaten
in the National Election. * (Update: my understanding is that how Virginia holds openprimaries is that a registered voter of any party, Democratic, Republican, or Independent, can vote for either parties ballot on that date -- perhaps I'm incorrect and only Independents can chose. I agree with "ravenjuiced" that no self- respecting person would vote in a game-playing manner, but I've heard of this potential for years, and don't put it past some (of any political party. I don't know if this occurred in this particular primary or not -- just that some talked about it as if it was occurring this way -- and hence my use of the word rumour).

Many Independents in Maryland wanted to be able to vote, but they would have had to sign up in November to switch parties. There is talk of trying to change that, allow the switch much closer to the primary instead. That I could support. I'm leery of allowing ANY registered voter to vote in ANY parties primary, because of the chance to game play negatively.

The next bit headlinedown says "Freezing Rain Shuts Many Highways." Yep. More later today, too, yet it should get a fair bit warmer, too. It never got out of the 20F's yesterday, and today may hit 40 (oh, hearing maybe 50F now! still with chance of snow after 11:00 p.m. / midnight).

Just a side note: Those extended hours voting in Maryland had ballots that won't be counted fully for potentialy a week, which could make a difference in some of the more local races (but not really for Senators Obama or McCain). Virginia did NOT extend its hours. Perhaps only northern Virginia had difficulty? Not sure.

I suppose I should arouse sleeping Cinderella...... (I think it's a breakfast in bed under warm blankets, after I show her the front page! type of morning.)

Stay warm, safe, and dry, all. Even if it's really not bad walking the dog in this coldcold rain, comparatively. Last night it was an ice skatingh rink outside. And, yes, I'm THRILLED with the Obama-momentum! :) Yes we can. And, are.

(Another note -- several who put up Obama signs in my county, said they'd been stolen -- I don't know if other signs for other candidates had been stolen or not.)

Tags: Barack Obama, Potomac Primary, Chesapeake Primary, Trinity Irish Dance Company

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

2008-02-12T08:30:00.000-08:00

Today is the anniversary of the birth of our nation's great President Abraham Lincoln. I've always liked him.

Today is the anniversary of my cousin Dougie's death. I've always liked him, too, but in quite different ways. His wife was headed out to a St. Valentine's (singles) dance party. Oy. I've been e-mailing more with my lovely freshman in college goddaughter LEL, Dougie's niece. She misses him, too. I need to contact her mom, my cousin Stephanie.

Today it's cold. "MOOMMMM! Is it COLD-cold, or just cold?" "Will it be like yesterday cold? "Just" cold. Sunday the winds were 55-60 mph, me in my performance black skirt and tights trying not to blow away before or after our fundraiser show, E thinking he'd try to light a cigarette ha, I did make sure I walked out with him, but I left him to attempt that cuz, well, it was also 12F degrees. My car sounded like a warmer idea. So, comparatively, today's anticipated sleet, this bit of snowing now, it's COLD, but it's not like that. A wetter cold than yesterday where we stood in "only" about a mile / mile and a quarter line to get inside the filled to 95% capacity (holds 19,500 but some tables for media, et al, so estimated holding 17,500), arena. * [Update: saw an official estimate of 18,500 people. WOW.] Yesterday, she still rode just not two horses, being M landed on the floor of the indoor ring with a spooked bucking pony. That's unusual, but even the very best riders have that occasionally, this one requiring M to soak in a nice warm bath later.

Today will be more ice than snow. I think. Or sleet. I've always liked snow. We'll see if we visit my mom and see a fantastic Irish stepdance show further north tonight or not. If we do, as tired as M and I both are, "the other M" in M's dance troupe and her mom happen to have tickets to thee same event. It'll be fun. I AM feeling worn out, but we'll push forward, and yes, it WILL be fun! (Even if I'm fine to have it canceled, is that bad? A fantastic enjoyable show, I know just could use more downtime.)

Today, as "frankandmary" points out, is Kimberleigh's birthday. I love the poem Mary includes. (I'll try to link this.)

And, of course, today is the Potomac Primary / Chesapeake Primary, for Maryland, D.C., and Virginia. I will only write politics when I'm on my home computer, et al. instead, I'm on a downtime / breaktime right now. I will say that there is excitement, there is concern that the impending weather may keep some voters away from voting, combined with the 16 point predicted lead in Virginia and 18 point predicted lead in Maryland that the polls last predicted, keeping some voters feeling that Barack Obama will win without them personally leaving home in less than ideal weather and going a few blocks to make their vote. On a radio station M and I listen to, 107.3, President Bill Clinton came on and spoke. Gosh, I do still like him -- I can still sense his appeal. I'd write more, but, not while I'm here. He sounded as if he was starting to get hoarse, still upbeat, and of course supporting his wife for President. Later, Senator John Kerry came on -- I couldn't listen to all of that interview as I had to go into the office!, but he also sounded great (and is supporting Barack Obama). They'd invited all the current candidates. Hillary Clinton has/had flown on to the next state, I heard?, and Barack Obama was meeting and greeting people at the Eastern Market metro this morning.

I still say that the important thing is that people educate themselves sufficiently, and go VOTE. The risk of a democracy is that some people a) are not knowledgable about the candidates and their positions, b) are ignorant (i.e., perhaps hold racist or other generalization concepts that are fallacies), and c) don't vote -- perhaps don't even register TO vote, or just don't get around to doing it. The benefit of a democracy is that all of the citizens of the USA (sans a few criminal types or whatever those details are), once of legal voting age, have that chance to voice his or her opinion. I also get to vote for my Congressional representative again.

We can do this -- make it through the day -- for those who are not longer here with us and can't do it themselves, for our parents and children and grandchildren (to be), for ourselves.

"This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." -- Psalms something I should have memorized by now but escapes me.

I miss you, Douglas Everett [last name]. I will speak my voice today, before the weather gets icy (albeit, from home, I can walk to my polling location if need be), and share time with M and perhaps my mother, also, because we can. Staying LIVING is something I know you'd want us to do. I am still blessed, Tinkerbell warm under the covers with me this morning and Daisy at my feet (until the alarm went off, then she was trying to be IN MY FACE). But I miss you. Love ya always -- Robin

Potomac Primary/Chesapeake Primary

2008-02-09T08:57:00.000-08:00

well, this is a first (Potomac Primary / Chesapeake Primary)
listening to: How Far We've Come - Matchbox Twenty

In my recollection, no Presidential candidate has EVER campaigned him or herself in the state of Maryland. EVER.* [Yikes, UPDATE: found out chatting with friends, before Marc so nicely pointed it out to me, that Wallace had been here. "Wallace. He was shot here in Maryland." "Oh, right, he was, was he campaigning when he was shot?" "Yes." To give myself some credit, I did say in my recollection. lol See, in the parts of 1972 when anyone would be campaigning, being a November baby, I'd have been only 10 years old. I remembered he'd been shot, locally, but heck if I would have remembered that it was while he was campaigning. My world only brushed with politics at that point. Even if I helped register voters in my high school come 1979, when I ws too young to vote myself (17 until that November, and not sure what date in November the elections were that year).]

I'm a local, born in DC and grew up primarily in Montgomery County, Maryland, with some time in South Portland, Maine, two summers in Santa Barbara (Goleta), California, and some time in the greater College Park, Maryland (Prince George's County) area.
No one comes here. It's as if we're, I don't know, too close to D.C., not meaningful enough, something. Going door to door? I don't recall any political door-to-door person ever coming by, who was in support of a Presidential nominee/candidate. It's rare for me to see anyone going door to door campaigning, then again, I did see a few when at my father's house. It's closer in, and a house-house. My mother/stepfather live in houses and not condos or apartments or townhouses, but much further north.
The radio ads for Barack Obama started, hmmm, a week or so ago? He's switched from one to another, which I think hits out more of his message that way, and I've seen one of his on television. I haven't seen or heard of any from any other candidate so far, not here. I read today that Hillary Clinton has a television ad that was to start today (or yesterday?). I also hear that there's been more focus in Virginia, particularly from Senator Clinton. Ah, yes.
There have been campaigns for probably all four main current candidates, I'm told. Our otherwise fine Governor Martin O'Malley, along with gotta love her Senator Barbara Mikulski, held a rally for Hillary Clinton yesterday in Annapolis. M was off school, and if Senator Clinton herself would have been there, we'd have found parking somehow there and gone. Even if I'm a Barack Obama supporter. We went to a shipwreck exhibition instead:) oh, and window shopping for a beach-themed "big show" costume. FYI -- Maryland Attorney General, Doug Gansler, supports Barack Obama.
The night of President "Dubya" Bush's latest state of the union address, Barack Obama held an overwhelming flowing out the doors successful rally at American University. If any other candidate has taken time to stop in D.C., it wasn't noticeably on the news. He's connected, and connecting more and more -- a surge a movement, whatever. He is taking the time. That can matter.
Today, Washington State votes, where my aunt Beth, uncle Len, my cousin Ian and his new wife, Kelly live. I'm not sure if she can vote yet -- I suspect not. She's a legal immigrant from Canada, on whatever visa, etc., she's allowed to be here on. I don't believe one can fast-track to citizenship that quickly. But, the others can vote. Len is still quite sick so he may not get out, and Beth may stay in with him, I don't know. I did hear that Barack Obama had a successful campaign stop in Seattle last night.
The caucus (I think) in Maine is tomorrow. Both Senators Clinton and Obama were there, at University of Maine, and Bangor, respectively. I wonder if LEL's gotten herself an absentee ballot or not, how my aunt Vesta and uncle Kenny will vote, Stephanie and the rest. My mother, from Maine but a resident in Maryland for years now, is a Democrat, but dislikes Hillary Clinton. Really dislikes her. Many of my Maine relatives have worked in paper mills, my grandfather at a rock quarry, etc. Would Mom have voted for John Edwards? Would they have? (Note -- he's pulled out of the race.)
<FONTLANG=0 PTSIZE="10" FAMILY="SANSSERIF" size="2" face="Arial">M and I watched the New Hampshire Presidential debates, Republican and Democrat. I try to keep her educated and informed, about the process, about how to chose for yourself and vote. She'll be voting in the next general electoin 4 years from now. I'd ask her neutral questions, and why did you like him, why did you not? If she had to vote Republican, she preferred Rudy Guiliani, seemed most leader-like and liked his NYC policy on handling immigrants in emergency rooms.
M REALLY liked John Edwards, "He was just on fire, Mom, on FIRE." She had more reasons than this, and we laughed about tie style/colors and how it doesn't matter, yet can reflect an image yadda yadda. While we've talked elections in depth previously, other general elections are just not strong in her memory, other than the 3day wait to see who really is President.
M also thought that Bill Richardson should be Vice President. She believed him to be knowledgable in important areas, but not a strong enough leader him self to be President. I came into that debate knowing I liked John McCain as a person, but nothing politically, liking Hillary Clinton, thinking I could like Barack Obama, and not remembering a lot about John Edwards.
(As a POW, John McCain had spoken at a luncheon that my mother, brother, and I had attended once, in honor of those who had died in the Korean war. Mom's brother, Billy, had died as a teenaged POW in the Korean War. I forget the other speakers, but remembered him as a decent man. Again, I otherwise didn't know his politics which I'm learning about more and more now.)
I've always liked Hillary Clinton, even M did. M cut out a photo of Hillary Clinton from The Washington Post, when Hillary was First Wife. She was sitting on a White House balcony, as if thinking. It's a lovely shot, and M posted it in her scrapbook of bestest stickers. I also believe it was up to her, it was her decision, whether or not to stay sticking by her husband after his affairs became so public. Her, God, and him. Not us, not me. Heck, I like him fine enough, too.

But I kept hearing more and more about Barack Obama, from a few mentions as the freshman Senator, to personal comments from others. N had reason to take interns to "the" Hill for a Congressional session last summer for part of a day. N actually pointed out, of all the things he could have commented on, how very impressive Barack Obama was. Shortly after the NH debates, friends of mine got together long overdue I needed that, and the conversation turned to politics. My good dear "knight in black leather jacket" friend, E, die-hard Republican, said, "He's eloquent without opening his mouth." Ah, yes, Barack Obama is eloquent, intelligent, articulate, and seemingly respectful. It's not just that he's a man with a way with words, which I admit I'm a sucker for, but what's behind them. From the things I've heard, such as his work in Illinois putting credibility back into finances (campaign? financing, something politically -related so they were no longer one of thee worse states), working to better public housing situations, and not messing in political mudslinging, to me speak towards Barack Obama's integrity.

I even liked how he mentioned that he'd been going back and forth between watching the Republican debate, and the football playoffs, when it came time for his interview during the NH debates. (Even if the Redskins lost that one.)
In watching those debates, I saw Barack Obama rise above the b.s. (not get into the negative stuff, just be classier than that), be a leader. Hillary Clinton looked tired, and as she stressed her experience, it clicked for me all whom she'd be beholden to, all those connections. Could she just run the country, or would her past, even a good past, get in the way of that? I don't really like how she's run her campaign, it's more politics as usual (like most of the other men competing, no worse).
The policies between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama are relatively similar -- if either wen't such a strong contender, it'd be nice to see them run TOGETHER. But, Barack Obama? He's just got it together, inspiring hope, asking for ideas from any of us (just go to his website), what can we ALL do. He is NOT politics as usual. And, THAT is exciting. Even as his wife, Michelle, says he's still just a man, he forgets to put the butter away. LOL, yeah, only God should be worshipped.
So while more and more candidates drop out, the Potomac Primary or Chesapeake Primary, takes place Tuesday. That's the State of Maryland, Commonwealth of Virginia, and the District of Columbia (Democratic only for them, I believe, but being that the city is overwhelming Democratic, that's really a mute point). Americans overseas also vote on Tuesday.
Hillary Clinton has put in an additional $5M of her own money (wow, that anyone has that much), yet she's not focusing on Maryland that I can tell. From what I've heard, she does plan to make a stop, herself, in Maryland but hasn't yet announced (confirmed?) a location. Uh-huh. She does plan to visit Manassas and Roanoke. Barack Obama will be visiting Alexandria (oh, I love that town), and Virginia Beach -- conflicting info that Virginia Beach is Monday evening, or tomorrow/Sunday.
I believe they will debate in Richmond, or at least they have a dinner there tonight. To quote today's The Washington Post (John Wagner and Tim Craig): "On the Republican side, Huckabee has an appearance scheduled today in College Park, and McCain announced a rally in Richmond on Monday." I will note that the Virginia Governor, Kaine, is supporting Barack Obama.
Monday, Barack Obama will be at Cole Field House, University of Maryland, College Park, doors opening 10:30 a.m. That afternoon, he will speak in Baltimore, at the Mariner Arena (a big convention center downtown), doors opening at 2:45 p.m. To get clarification as to when he'll be in Virginia Beach, and where, please check out http://www.barackobama.com
It's a first in my 46-year old memory to have any national Presidential candidate visit Maryland personally for campaign reasons. [Sigh, having somehow not been politically savvy enough to remember Wallace's having been shot.] I'm most comfortable with the UMCP site, but that's alright -- it'll be closer to the D.C. area and the many supporters he may have in Prince George's county, and otherwise. He picked a state school, a good one, but a state school, he is supposedly big with the college educated and the younger generations. (So how come so many not well off older whites support him? lol, many reasons. And, hey, he spoke for benefits for seniors, too, when this so-called economic stimulus package was going on, I'm attuned now when helping seniors is mentioned). Anyway, this is a first for ME as an adult.

And, as my mother pointed out -- in 1960, a year before I was born and Barack Obama was born (both in 1961), segregation was still strong and around. Back in Civil War times, Baltimore city had the largest population of free blacks in the country. Yes, this is a huge first, also. I'm so glad he'll visit Baltimore, where the Star Spangled Banner was written, "for the land of the free, and the home of the brave."

When my grandmother, worked on "the" Hill for her (Democratic) Congressman from Ohio, I wonder if she'd have ever thought she'd see the day when a woman, and a man born of a Kenyan man and a Kansas white woman, would be running strongly and taken seriously as Presidential candidates (against a veteran). (Grandma was born in Rising Fawn, Georgia, to Quaker parents, a doctor father and a school teacher mother, but went to college in Ohio, where she met my Irish immigrant grandfather.)

This is history.

So, yeah, I'll take M out of school part of Monday. Been a while since she's been to my alma matter, anyway:) Btw, there is a LOT of information on Senator Obama's website, about his (Christian) faith, about whatever, even social networks, etc. For those interested.

Primarily, people should get out to vote, whomever they wish tovote for. Even if the only campaign signs I've seen are one bumper sticker for Obama and several roadsigns for Ron Paul. The ads here are just beginning. We, all of us Americans, can do it. We have the right to have our say. This year, Maryland is getting some attention.

(Update: Hillary Clinton did come to Maryland, Bowie State University and the GM plant. As The Washington Post stated, Barack Obama had arena crowds (UMCP and B'more, but also at a cafe in Silver Spring), and Hillary Clinton's were more intimate gatherings. Huckabee, I don't know how large, but he did visit, and unclear if McCain did or not -- but he's around, also.)

Tags: Potomac Primary, Chesapeake Primary, Maryland, Barack Obama, Presidential campaigning in Maryland

A Warmer Shade of Cold

2008-01-22T16:21:00.000-08:00

It was to be a practically balmy high of 32 F degrees today, wow. It's still cold, mind. It was calling for a wintery advisory of sleet, freezing rain, and snow. We saw brief showers of sleet at one point this afternoon at "the" barn. The ground and snow was still fairly frozen, the sun shone brightly.

This morning's first walk with Daisy didn't require a hat to keep from hypothermia ears within minutes. I didn't feel sharp cold through my corduroy pants the instant I went outdoors. It was noticeably less frigid than the single digit weather over the weekend; I almost enjoyed having Daisy spend time with Paschma (cotton candy in Farsi, I do not know how to spell that). The heater didn't hesitate like a car not quite turning over, but turned on nice gas heat when I flicked the switch.

I still had a cup of hot tea with breakfast, okay, FOR breakfast (but I ate something soon after). I still haven't gotten a nice instant chai tea latte mix for the winter, and my most local grocer hasn't even carried the liquid chai tea for months. I've gone from withdrawal to checking out my options. Hmmm, sorting through Christmas gifts, this decaffeinated one (oh heck no), or yes, okay, Earl Grey. I was always an herbal tea gal. I still love those:) I want my caffeine now. I remember evenings with Dougie and Stephanie, one in particular when they switched the sugar and salt, goating me on to add "sugar" to my tea in just such a fashion, that I lingered and decided not to. Ha. I add sugar and milk. Oh yum. THIS is how I have to have "regular" tea.

For lunch, I put on my mittens but don't really NEED them. I still get soup, Maryland crab soup that's okay (could use more solid, less shredded crab meat, and more veggies, but the overall idea is traditional and good). Nice and warm.

M was to run this morning at school, the weather still cold, and yet she was sent with a sweatshirt and polartec jacket (both from my house) to wear, no mittens/gloves, no hat, no scarf. Sigh. (The first time, she had an astham attack, so at least she takes her inhaler in advance now.)

By afternoon, she was fine warmth-wise. We weren't sure "the" barn would be open for kids, so I came right after school to pick her up. "Mom, can you stay and watch me ride??!!!" She is working with beautiful white horse, Sage, who looks like a carousel horse, to help get her ready to be auctioned. While it's sad to see her go and some others go, they aren't isn't being ridden currently at this barn. Today was an afternoon she'd get to work with Sage. Ah, what the heck. I'll stay.

M picks Sage's hooves, and brushes her. Pineapple's breath showed in the air. Earlier, M pondered only a moment when asked by a younger girl if she should put a cooler (type of blanket) on her horse. "Nah, it's not that cold." Ha. Comparatively.

A boy runs up out of breath to the point I wonder if he has asthma trouble, also. He shouts out that horse, Noodle, is on "the" road. Ah, which road (as in, hopefully it's the long driveway "road," not thee big road). "Go tell (Barn Assistant)," I tell him, and M grabs a lead rope, gets further details as to where the loose horse is, yikes "big" road which could be serious trouble, and races off. Barn Assistant is joined by a parent, who believes that Noodle is now in someone's garage.

They drive off, while I stay behind with the younger girl so that she's not left unsupervised while she finished tacking up Pineapple. At the time, there was also a dad there helping his young daughter tack up, but I wasn't sure if he was still around or not. This younger girl, Pineapple's rider, starts wondering aloud if it's really Noodle who escaped, after all, and goes to check. She then checks all the others, mentioning who is sneaky, who could do this trick and that and get out in that location. NONE of "the" barn's horses are missing, phew (Barn Assistant didn't think that likely, either, but who is to question in a potential emergency?).

Ends up that this was a neighbor's horse. A boy who rides at "the" barn has his own pony, Peaches I think, who escaped. The "man" who had Peaches in a garage was really a woman who is a horse caretaker, also with a baby in her car in the garage. While she was handling the situation, it was still a good idea to have other equestrians to assist just in case (and a couple tagalongs lol). M tells me how bad off Peaches hooves got from this escape on the big road, her face wincing. Thankfully, Peaches is in good hands and is safe.

The excitement and gratitudes over, a girl arrives just when her lesson is to start. This means that she missed her time to tack up and prepare her horse, Echo, and herself. Barn Assistant asks M to help out. "Sure." (Helping out is a daily thing for M, who also "closed up"the bigger barn, sometimes sets feed, and feeds, or applies basic medicines.) The girls mom is SO happy that M is helping show the girl how to do things, and getting her ready. She asks me questions, also, about horse back riding, different local barns, the school, and camp. The horse camp there at "the" barn that, surprise, M's too old for this year (I could have sworn she had through this summer).

They head to the indoor ring. The outdoor ring is still covered in snow, and would not be good for their hooves, for one thing, can't imagine horse back riding on the icy patches. I make a pit stop, in part to warm up my toes some. I wasn't anticipating being outside for long, and they were getting COLD!

It was nice watching M, even while she's not in a lesson, I can see the difference in her riding ability as she manuever's Sage about the three girls during their lesson. This is a beginner's lesson, half-way through the year. I remember when M was that young, and we seeked knowledge from the older girls. Now, M is one of the older girls. She maybe possibly will even get to help out this summer (depending on the schedule, her visitation schedule cuts into the session weeks sigh, and heck, C didn't even allow her to attend her lesson yesterday but they did NOTHING else mind). Right now? I'm pleased to see how gracious she is, and later, before she started her astronomy homework, I let her know that. "It's stuff I do every day." Ah, but today, I could watch.

Day is done. It's still cold, yes, but what a nicer version of winter this is now than the frigid single digit and teen temperatures this weekend (when having Daisy AND a cat sleep with me was nice for the additional warmth). Even if barncat Raptor wouldn't let me take a photo of him today in the sun, against the worn green barn walls just a ledge above the snow. He wanted to be scratched, instead, enjoy the NOW instead of having me capture the moment.

It's a full moon on the frozen landscape, a warmer shade of winter.

reading from the script

2008-01-16T12:23:00.000-08:00

No time to go home, go to the bank (ack, I'd forgotten the checks I wrote for M's costumes for "Big Show,"), AND write my last entry on my lunch break. I'd already consumed my brought-from home healthy snacks. It was a fast-food drive thru if I was going to eat and not have a hypoglycemic spell. Limited choices... hmmm, let me try...

"I'd like a veggie burger, please."

"Just the sandwich, or the meal?" I don't eat fries, other than 2 of M's if she orders some, and I'll save the drink money for the water fountain.

"Just the sandwich, please."

"Cheese, bacon, or jalapeno peppers on that?" There are several possible reasons for someone to order a veggie burger, not one of which is compatible with the desire to top it with bacon.

I'm not sure if she is required to ask that, or if she just wasn't really thinking.

I did pay 20 cents extra for the slice of cheese. The sandwich WAS pretty good (next time, I'll ask for no mayo, who puts mayo on a burger of any type??!). But, BACON?

Tags: fast food, veggie burger

Don't Stand/Hang out at MY Desk!

2008-01-16T10:54:00.000-08:00

Just because YOU are sick (with a virus no less, not something that can't be passed along readily, just because YOU "have meetings all afternoon" even when you could call in for them, just because YOU like to be at least 5 minutes early for every meeting, especially our boss, just because OUR boss is amazingly on-time considering his ADHD, just because our coworker (Kiss-up Manager) is the one with Boss currently and she always takes extra time, this time legitimately, does NOT mean you get to hang out and over MY cubicle!

For the 7 minutes you waited, sick, standing over MY cubicle ledge.

And started asking me questions so okay, fine, ask, but at least see if I'm in the middle of something first. I finished and talked w/ him, NewGuy, but I finally said I was working on something, in hopes he'd sit down to wait. He walked around. Ah, gee, great, let's spread the germs ALL over.

Another coworker and him were sharing over the counter drugs at MY cubicle, earlier. She left early for the doctor Monday, but otherwise kept working (thankfully for me, yesterday in another location, and I otherwise really like her).

ARGH ARGH ARGH. So now my head is starting in, and my nose is running.

Gee, thanks.

If you're sick and you're going to insist upon coming INto the office to work, can you PLEASE not hang out in MY area? I can't afford to get sick, and get my DD sick (who is to sing the lead role in Cinderella in a few weeks). What if I was still caring for my father? Something like this could have killed him.

PLEASE at least attempt (or pretend) to be courteous. Sheesz.

A few coworkers are working from home today, as they are sick.

(And, if NewGuy is going to still show up at least 5 minutes early all the time? Fine, others do, shrug, but don't get antsy at 1 minute after the start time, too, please, and yes, be respectful that I may be doing work, too, at that moment, cuz I was though I'm also happy to assist him, otherwise as needed. And, when I say I need to talk with Boss first about something? Don't go into Boss' office, also, as what I have to say may not be for his info, too, yanno?)

Mostly, DON'T GET ME SICK. I like being well.

* note -- NewGuy wasn't sure he'd get paid if he went/stayed home, which comprised some of the questions he had for me. (He would be paid,and may stay home some of tomorrow.) I can emphatize (sp) with that dilemna. Just, please, add some courtesy and don't go socializing so much!

Tags: sick coworkers

Doug and Red

2008-01-15T10:34:00.000-08:00

My aunt Vesta sent me this photo today. Seems a former girlfriend of my late cousin, Dougie (right) had found this on Richard's myspace page, titled Rest in Peace. An old photo, guessing early 80's.

FYI -- Doug's friend, Red, was working on a road crew, and got hit by a vehicle driving by. He was paralyzed, a teenager paralyzed for life due to someone's reckless driving by a construction road crew site. Please consider that these are REAL LIVE PEOPLE there when you drive near or by such a site. Thank you.

Anyway, they were really close friends growing up and most likely until the day Dougie died.

I still miss him.

I had a lot of dreams over Christmas break and such. In one, I was on a trip, most likely to a feis with M. There isn't a lot of time for visiting and touring if going to and from a place to feis. My cousin Dougie (not my brother Doug), was standing by a doorway, waiting for us to go do something, while I made plans to stay an extra day or two to spend time with him and my other relatives in Maine.

Today, in writing my aunt back, I remembered another time I extended a trip to spend more time with Doug. Even when we didn't live in Maine, we'd visit. One summer, Dougie and I decided I just had to stay up there longer. Hmmm, Alice Cooper was going to play the Portland Ampitheatre. Not that I'd ever heard of Alice Cooper at this point, didn't even know Alice was a man, not that Dougie was a particularly enthusiastic fan, either. (We were much more Beatle's fanatics, especially Dougie.) Yet, somehow, we convinced our moms that Alice Cooper was thee greatest ever for kids our age (likely freshmen or sophmores in high school -- we're the same age, both born the same year, 1961). HAHAHA. So, on the strength of us just having to see this concert, which was a blast and a memory I'll never forget, I got to hang out with Dougie and (his sister/ my other cousin) Stephanie a week or several weeks longer.

And, Red? If someone points this out to you, wave a hello. I've thought of you and hope you're doing well. Oh, and hope you don't mind a few of us "stole" your photo.

-- Robin

p.s. -- funny how songs can have whole different meanings sometimes, eh? (I hope this clarification is not needed, but fyi we were NEVER "kissing cousins." Close friends, whatever, but nothing ever physical / romantic that'd be, well. We weren't. Laughing now -- he DID like his ladies, however........ Just found that some of the other lyrics fit, not ALL.)

PINK LYRICS: "Who Knew"

You took my hand
You showed me how
You promised me you'd be around
Uh huh
That's right
I took your words
And I believed
In everything
You said to me
Yeah huh
That's right

If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong
I know better
Cause you said forever
And ever
Who knew

Remember when we were such fools
And so convinced and just too cool
Oh no
No no
I wish I could touch you again
I wish I could still call you friend
I'd give anything

When someone said count your blessings now
'fore they're long gone
I guess I just didn't know how
I was all wrong
They knew better
Still you said forever
And ever
Who knew

Yeah yeah
I'll keep you locked in my head
Until we meet again
Until we
Until we meet again
And I won't forget you my friend
What happened

If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong and
That last kiss
I'll cherish
Until we meet again
And time makes
It harder
I wish I could remember
But I keep
Your memory
You visit me in my sleep
My darling
Who knew
My darling
My darling
Who knew
My darling
I miss you
My darling
Who knew
Who knew

Tags: Doug, Dougie, Red

a winter feis, part 2 (update via IM)

2007-12-29T16:03:00.000-08:00

Let's see how this "journaling via IM" works for an update. (This daggone keyboard though HURTS my hands..... I pretty much require an ergonomic one.)
Ah, okay, I get the option of adding this to comments, to my journal (I THINK as a NEW?? entry?), or to quit.

Anyway, I got a photo texted to me from Sh, of M and Si. Si's in her solo dress which she's not supposed tobe wearing but it's not my business (she IS looking pretty, they both are). I wonder where M's gold tiara is but hey, she has on her eyeglasses and earrings.
And I waited. Granted, I did other things WHILE waiting. My mom will be pleased I finally tried on the clothes she gave me for Christmas. Almost 4 hours later -- so while walking Daisy, I try calling M via Sh's cell phone. It gets cut off, so I try again and get a voicemail. Sigh, okay. Then, immediately, I get a text message with Si's scores, plus YEAH, they got a 1st in their U13 2-hand, M and Si together.
But, is M's score not yet known (that'd be a surprise), or is she waiting to tell me personally, why not just call? Ends up, M's score and info about it was cut off. It'd been sent to Ma first, then forwarded to me after I called, so? At the time, I didn't know this, and textd back congrats to Si, and that I'm eager to talk w/ M including about how M did when she hears.
Well, Si DID do well -- remember, she's 5.5 years old, in her 2nd year of Irish stepdancing, and won first place in a novice level U7 hornpipe (i.e., hard shoe even, not even in soft shoe). She also got 2nd in her U7 novice slip jig (soft shoe). M called me later, they still at the hotel but not in the room, and I also talked briefly to Si. Si is THRILLED, and should be. (And, now she CAN wear the dress.) M, well, she had a good time.
Or, I think so. She feels okay about it I think, disappointed sure, but okay, and enjoyed the feis? M says she got right the things that she normally doesn't, and that she wobbled (on her toes) RIGHT as the judge was looking closely at her. Toes are NOT M's strong point. Arch and turnout -- definitely, but not toestands depending. One leg is longer than the other but I don't know if that has any relation to this or not. She had 24 dancers in her group, registered, anyway. I don't know, Mom, they just
kept coming up. She said that the photographer was there (ah, they got my request! great), and so on eFeis or elsewhere later, we'll figure out the competitor #'s with the faces. Many were from the Mid-America region, but really they flew and drove in from all over, Florida, New York, and west.
We talked about the other dancers -- I didn't realize, but this was "Friends" FIRST FEIS! How exciting, and she got a 3rd and a 4th (out of, hmm, 18-28 dancers depending which dance). Another friend DID get HER last 1st to move up to prelim champ (she also registered for all 4 main dances, while M registered for just the one).
I told M that I was concerned that being signed up for just the one dance may make her too worried. "Yeah...." so I guess her Friend there and all didn't overcome all her worries. I told M that this means she can still do Treble Reel's at the Prizewinner level, too (she wasn't registered ror TR this time, and she and I both love them for her). Ma had said to focus on the one dance and had reasons. We'll see for next time, though. M was excited for her friend who DID get her last first -- "Mom, can you
post that on the message board?" Ha, I had intended to already. I told M I was proud of her for helping out with the little ones on the stages, counting out their begining beats for them. Not clear howshe got asked to be a stage helper, but shrug, she's good at it so why not.
I think it's still better for M than not going. She's a good sport, and a great kid:) I"m real proud of her.
I've looked some at the 2008 feis schedule. Some I can't tell in part as I'm not sure how the weekends will fall (depends upon how we interpret Spring Break, but summer is set). There's not a rush. I'm told by someone else that Ma is thinking of not having dancers at their level feis again until May. Not that M nor I have been told that, but that's alright. There aren't any local enoughbefore then, and I don't have traveling money. They will be doing a lot of drills in their one class right now.
It's all good. M certainly had a better day today than if she'd stayed home and Si went, like last year. And she got to see Friend and other Friend, and DANCE, etc. She'll see her aunt tomorrow and they'll do C's family Christmas in Baltimore. About a 10 minute call, and some with Si, cuz I had to congratulate her:) but I'm real glad to talk with M, that today was still decent.

a winter feis (part 1)

2007-12-29T11:08:00.000-08:00

She might be dancingNOW. (add what listening to)
I poured over the "electronic program" earlier today and was happy to see that one of M's friends is there at this feis, also. This friend likes to feis, but doesn't get to very often, so it's a treat. Only 9 from her school at this one.
M is there with Si, and Sh. Not clear if C also went. He typically doesn't; it really is NOT his thing nor desire. That's okay. M is likely feeling more confident w/out him around, actually. She can nail this, depending. As I told M, she dances at a champion level, TCRG Ma knows this, M just needs to show it. Mostly, I want her to feel good about how she did, but having confidence going in can make or break not only her placement, but how she feels.
M has gotten repeated 1sts in her other dances, and 2nds in her TJ. Oh, M, I pray right now, Dear Lord, please be with M. Have her feel your spirit, have her feel great and dance with her heart.

Admittedly, if she also gets first? Then she will be moved up to preliminary championship level.
Ma recommended that M only sign up for THIS dance this time, her Treble Jig. She also recommended having a private lesson, just to see. M felt that did help. * Captain added the star instead of going into the dresser drawer; Tinkerbell hangs over the monitor. In that lesson, Ma told M to focus more. Hmmm, M HAS lost her drive lately. Ma is thinking socializing in class, while I was thinking Oireachtas and schoolwork and other distractions. M's been going over her dances intuitively again throughout
the day and nights. Okay, is she up NOW, or is it now over??? I don't know.
She can just shine, and smile so bright, and just WOW. "Why don't I see you dance like this in class?" Well, M lost her focus I guess. lol I hope she's shining now, feeling great. I agree with Ma, who said, "I don't care how they place. I just want them to dance well." Or something like that for the second sentence. That she and the other TCRG's watch, and say, what school is s/he from?
So Sh this year brought M along with Si. They danced two figures dances in the a.m. Friend's mom seemed surprised for my call, but happy to relay info. She didn't know how they did in figures (that's okay, I don't really care as long as they enjoyed themselves and there were no mishaps). Seems Friend is doing well today! YEAH. She HAS been looking good, but doesn't get to feis much to move up, competitively speaking.
Several on their stage, stage 5, Si's competition, Friend's competition which was just about to start, another dancer from their school's competition, then M's. Friend's mom said something about M's big dance. I relayed how I hope that wasn't making M nervous. Friend and M have been practicing (and, seemingly, hanging out YEAH I'm so glad). Also, M's been helping on stages, counting out beats for the little ones. Ah, this is great, also. M CAN shine and feel good.
We didn't even talk a full 2 minutes, Friend's mom and I, but I'm glad for it (and she was happy to relay the info, I think she enjoyed "the assembly line" of how the stages were running, and the camarderie for her daughter). Perhaps M's on NOW, instead, gosh, hard to predict for certain. M will know I called, and she's"supposed" to call me later, also.
I"m pleased to hear that she's seemingly enjoying herself. If she also gets first? WOW. If not? Well, hopefully she will, of course, how exciting would that be, and the feis photographer was asking for requests, so I e-mailed a request in. Hate missing this (MANY hours away). Still, it sounds as if it just might make for a great ending to an overall good feising year. happy new year, all. (Still hoping!!!_
Happy new year, all. Christmas was, well, an experience (in a good way), which is for another post. M will be with me this year for the BIGGGG St. Pat's parade where she can wear her solo dress and dance on the flat bed, and have the school party after. Sounds as if she's already invited school friends to come and watch ha. (C has never taken her, not even last year with Si dancing, also.) I hope to get back to dancing myself again. I need that. May it be a good year in all ways possible for all of u
okay, only 33 minutes since I talked w/ Friend's mother. Are they done??? At least I know something, while I await, eagerly, to hear.... my cinderella:)

TRYING to keep up!

2007-12-17T09:10:00.000-08:00

I can't keep up. With some things, yes. Some, no.

Christmas time is always extra busy. I LOVE Christmas! I miss Advent at my church, yet, I feel conflicted about ever returning there (and had intended to visit another church yesterday yet M needed more sleep and I was trying to get stuff done, even while I should find more time for Christ, too). We will go to Christmas Eve services, however. We love it there. We'll likely go with my mother/stepfather to services at their newer church, too, but there is nothing quite like how the magic of Christmas spirit is at our church.

I'm so behind, even on the two, yes only two, Christmas cards I'd intended to mail out. After I got over the nice but too unrealistic idea that I'd send Christmas cards out to everyone who'd expressed greetings of some fashion or another when my father passed. Yeah right, I could hardly find cards I liked this year, and I've not gotten cards out but minimally ANY year since M's birth.

The third Christmas card had to wait until after my mom's December birthday (Happy Birthday, Mom!!!). I had intended to bake her a cake, then buy a really great tasting one I'd gotten to sample, get her flowers plus gifts. Nicely, we postponed thee celebration to later this week when her favorite restaurant is open. We had her birthday card in plenty of time, somehow, and one gift. I had her SRO 2007 sweatshirt all folded and ready to bring her, forgot it. (She was polite in her annoyance at that. Is she grasping the stress I've been under and trying to dissipate, or was she just happy from church, and to see M again? I actually enjoyed our visit yesterday, and was glad to talk some with Bob, too.)

M complained about her selection of clean pants (jeans or cords) on Friday. She who complains, gets to start doing more laundry! Hehe. She had the singing portion of her Cinderella auditions, and wanted to look nice (she did), the reading audition the day before. Yeah, okay, she's also grown more, and one pair had a zipper break. I did pick her up two pairs on Friday lunchtime, that sigh, do NOT fit and need returning now. M's grown too tall for the older girls section, and isn't quite yet tall enough for some pants selections in the junior selections.

We were also both hormonal oh joy we're in synch now.

The previous weekend, with M away, I slept Saturday; it felt good to not interact with the world and regroup. I joked with my aunt that what I wanted for Christmas was a way to keep the water in the tub warm for as long as I wanted. Sunday, though, I started missing Dad and M, and feeling overwhelmed with what I had to catch up on from having been away the previous weekend and then a full week of, well, work and M's school and schoolwork. I didn't get laundry or other things done I'd intended. I'm allowed a day of the duldrums just gosh, I don't have the time for that!

I did make it out to Target that Sunday evening, which felt almost as if I was intruding on the workers restocking and straightening the store. Glad I got out in fresh air (more rain), without too many people. We had gifts needed and likely pet food. My dance group's fantastic Christmas party was last week, with singing of carols and a fun gift exchange. It's NOT to be missed. It was such a struggle to get organized sufficiently to GET to, but as always was well worth it (gifts, food, clothes! where ARE my Christmas sweaters/ turtlenecks I still don't know).

Since before our trip to Atlanta, we've been re-looking at "the next 4 years," aka, high school options. Admittedly, I've been researching that for years. I even spent a lot of time this past weekend talking with parents, even though the decision time for applying for magnet school programs is gone. (At least I know we're not moving into Dad's house, a different high school district, nor are we going private school.) Still, this was too important of an overall decision, some of M's input was not realistic to truly consider and I'd explain to her why, and some were really good points I had to consider. I felt so behind and rushed this fall, so caught up in my father's things and the other details of M's current schooling (what good points DOES the "annoying" boy have for affirmations they'll all get, what gift for Toys for Tots should she bring, how is alleluia spelled and why does the ending differ from the word hallelujah, papers and science seminar on, ironically, adolescent brain development and sleep requirements, and what cereals for her presentation, and fantasy football continuing, and the really great detailed job she's doing on her mermaid marionette along with it's weekly development). FYI --

We DID decide, in time, to NOT have her apply for ANY of the great public high school magnet programs (ends up, she only had an interest in the one -- she herself tried to shadow someone a year ago but they somehow won't let people visit the programs until after applying, huh?). I was a bit disappointed, yet her home high school is not only close by, it is a good school. Putting pressure on my ADD child to finish her homework, even non-challenging homework, within the time limits non-ADD children can, is not realistic. Having her get up almost 2 hours earlier than currently, to catch a bus to get to the other high school with the International Baccauleaurate (sp!) program, 5 days a week, or drive that much further from her dad's home on those mornings, would have her TOO sleep deprived. It's not realistic. Don't think I haven't been talking with teachers and parents and students THERE these past several years, also. Last? week's The Washington Post (or Gazette but I think "the" Post), showed details of The Challenge Index. Tests and rankings cannot and do not show the entire pros or cons of a school. I'm still pleased. M's home high school is still within the top 3-5% of high schools in the NATION for percentage of students / # of IB and AP tests taken. It has a great drama department she's already interested in, good AP programs, an equestrian club, sports and such, knows some others who will attend just likely not in the same classes, right HERE. Her current principal agrees with me on my assessment, of the sleep requirement and the home high school, pointing out a Ulysses or Oddyseey program, something. This principal knows M well. M will do fine, nah, she'll do GREAT!

We used to read a Christmas book nightly, listen to Christmas cd's, some in particular one that follows along with a book, and/or sing carols before M went to sleep. I need to re-institute some of that. At least she's had an Advent calendar up, and she decorated a tree with lights and garland and plastic ornaments (safer with the cats). I found the wreath holder ha. The season is here NOW, it's both hard to face this year, and something I wish to get absorbed into.

So much of my dad's stuff to deal with.

Sometimes, life itself is a struggle.

An ADD example of M's: she had a bit second draft literary analysis paper due today on the book Secret Life of Bees. She worked on that last Wednesday and last Thursday, me worried as it was originally due last Friday. M thought she told me it was changed to today. After hours spent on that, she remembers she needs to do something for FRIDAY. Friday day, M works more on her re-write. I am so glad that she's dedicated and wants to stay on top of her homework and do well with it. At the end of the day, she'll go to the "board," and verify what school work she has the following day or upcoming, and make sure she brings home those folders / schoolbooks. Except Friday, she'd put her paper back in her locker, not enough time to get it into her folder, so it was left in her locker. Nicely, "the barn" is co-located, and someone had a key, and she got her paper. We DID have what she wrote up to Thursday night electronically, yet she'd made a lot of changes since. Earlier last week, M had a retake of her Algebra test (hoping to get that A instead of the solid B). She KNEW what to do, she MEANT to do it, but she simply forgot to go back and shade in a quadrant. Oy.

I'm going off on a tangent. AH, well. Rambling, I know.

The power was out at my mom's last night, but is on now. The winds were up to 50 mph. The weather's been a factor lately in many lives, and I've wanted to write something about that.

And about the other corn-syrup eggnogs we found and taste-tested.

And the movie, p.s. I love you -- great movie, btw!!! M danced at a preview / premiere showing of it one night last week, then we were invited to stay and watch it. It's not released officially until December 21st. "We laughed, we cried," said another dance parent. Three great men in it oh yeah that was nice to see, admittedly. Hillary (Hilary?) Swank? is great. It's not as cutesy lighthearted as the previews make it seem. It IS okay for almost 13-year olds, except perhaps the quite backside shot of the cute guy from Grey's Anatomy whose character had been the fiance of Katherine Hiegl's (sp) character. Anyway, in some ways, it's a primer on how to grieve, and move on. That was helpful for me, who IS moving on while it takes time, too, and that's all okay.

E-mails? Alerts? Ha. I MEAN to. I like staying in touch with my friends online here. I'm finding I just cannot like I wish to. Not right now. So forgive me if I've missed your journal lately, or your e-mail with a subject line looking like a journal alert.

I'm way behind. Sometimes, I feel as if I cannot keep up. Sometimes my head feels in a vise without the intensity of pain, as if it needs caffeine or something to soak in, and get the neurons or whatever working properly again. Then I relook at things -- and [take some minute charge] make homemade applesauce, or M made thee really great peppermint bark in a pinch while I waited over an hour to rent a car for the weekend, did I mention mine is dying again??? (even her big crush asked her details on how to make the peppermint bark! while they were otherwise SILENT (sitting apart) in the back seat lol). I'm getting a handle on important things again, like clean laundry. And touching base with some. It's bit of a handle. I'm trying. Just forgive me, please, if I don't "get there," and know I'm trying to balance our lives and not struggle TOO much while doing so. Know that if I've visited and cared about you and your life in the past, I don't care any less now. IM me if you see me on, and if I have time (as I keep AOL up in the background often), I'd be happy to chat.

Peace:)

While I have the service station to call and a store to return those not-fitting pants I got for M as I need the money back......... among other things, but I'm trying to keep the to-do list short enough so that I can accomplish SOMETHING on it! Really, don't put EVERYTHING on it or it's overwhelming and who knows where to start. Break it down into smaller things.

Welcome to Atlanta: Soundbites from SRO 2007

2007-12-05T19:00:00.000-08:00

"Welcome to Atlanta." Everyone, including the homeless, were very hospitable in Atlanta. One of the bellhops at our hotel said this to us, as he opened the doors.

"I've been to this hotel three times hoping to find see someone!" V, as she and M ran up to hug each other hello.

"Ahhhhhhhh, look, look!" Various dancers from M's school, as they discovered the surprise ad in the program book, with all of their baby photos in it, and were excited to share it with the others in their school.

"How come you can go three states away, and you still know people?" A friend, LF, who was dining with others from his adult, mixed 4-hand ceili team, after we did a quick hug and "kiss, kiss" greeting. He and I both laughed, while I used his cell phone to call M at the Decades Party as mine couldn't get a signal inside that restaurant. M, OHBoy, and Am went to the party, but an hour into it, they were bored with the d.j. switching from playing decades music. I'm glad their was that option, however. Many then went into the pool and hot tub.

"Do you know if there's a dance store around here?" A parent who didn't realize her daughter needed black tights, not bubble socks (which an Oireachtas vendor DID carry).

"Do you know what those numbers mean by the Round numbers?" OHBoy's mother asked on Saturday, and I couldn't recall at the time. Later, I remembered and told her that it indicates the competitor # that the particular round will start with. For example, if there are 76 dancers in a competition, 1-76, for Round 1, they may start with competitor # 17. This would mean that they'd go competitor #'s 17-76, then competitor #'s 1-16. Round 2 would start with a different competitor #, ditto for Round 3.

"Care for a Moonpie?" Z&B himself, to a woman as we watched figures teams. Some of ours did well, some not as well. (Friday night, M and V were the first official recipients of the first official Moonpies for the SRO 2007. I promised Z&B, however, that I'd not share his photo publically.)

"Where can we cross?" Various LSU, Tenn, and SRO fans, who were somehow surprised to discover that Atlanta had their BIG Christmas parade Saturday morning. "It's scheduled to end at noon; can you watch and wait 9 more minutes?" Some could. M was too excited inside, absorbing the Oireachtas itself, seeing her friends dance and others. I didn't wish to come to Atlanta and not see any of it. "The" parade passed in front of the Oireachtas hotel, down Peachtree, so I did catch about 25 minutes of it. (I don't believe I've ever seen so many adults in solid orange, including jeans, nor in purple with yellow. Teams, I tell you, Irish Dance school teams, and the SEC football teams.)

"We want to surprise our granddaughters." Grandparents of young Maple Irish Dance School dancers, whom I overheard in the street outside, and I pointed them to the tall tower of the Westin building and showed them the stage schedule. I heard that they later asked, inside, "Can you help me find where the Maple Leafs are performing?" They arrived in time.

"You're the ones with the baby pictures?" The mother of a U13 boy who got 9th place at Nationals this past summer, and had feised with M later in the summer (him sweeping). Not clear if anyone else from his school attended or not, but his parents and I chatted briefly again. I also talked with the mother of a local U13 boy from another ID school.

"Wow!" OlderJ's mother, as we sat in the balcony overlooking his stage. He'd just performed his traditional set dance, The Hunt. WOW indeed, just absolutely amazing. Enough to impress his own mother even:)

"I'm so happy for you, I could cry." Dancer from our school, literally crying for her friends Saturday night for having recalled AND qualified for National. One of our friends did not recall, okay with it for having been injured a bit ago and this her first Oireachtas, and was excited for recalling with her figures team. Sunday night, the crying girl's first Oireachtas, SHE was recalled, wiping her eyes onstage. Ahh:)

"We waited this long, for THIS?" A mother yelling at her daughter. The girl had had her competition number posted as having recalled, but she was not called onto the stage. The daughter then hid a bit, waringly, behind a friend, as her mother approached the stage and signed the girls competitor #. "Sorry, we overlooked one dancer. [first and last name], competitor # [#], got [placement]. Please come up on the stage." She received her medal then, and I clapped hard as did some others. I still feel badly for her.

"I just want what's fair." A TCRG, who ended up discussing the results of a particular competition with a director of the SRO 2007. I appreciate that this TCRG did this, not just for the dancer in that TCRG's ID school, who questioned the results, as this TCRG was as concerned about other dancers not in her school, also, but in general. There was some blatant concern, and there was a strong appearance of politics. Was there, or was there not? DID it still work out, mathematically? This TCRG is going via proper channels to see. Nothing against the dancer being questioned, however, who is a fantastic dancer with a not best day, nor the dancer's family, nor that dancer's ID school, so I won't post further details publically. It is, however, a "sound bite" I take from this Oireachtas, as having importance along with some related conversation.

"Did you hear what happened to me?" OHBoy, Sunday, rather brightly, after we YAWN, missed his first (hard shoe) round. He was all prepared for dancing Hornpipe. Thankfully, he didn't dance first in his hard shoe round, and was able to discover, hey, they are playing jigs, and dancing jigs. Ma was there, Ma was somehow seemingly at every single competition for her dancers this weekend, and if not, tried to. Apparently, she was able to talk with OHBoy, and hey, he'd learned a third jig step a couple weeks ago, and danced what he knew. He seemed okay with it. He'd prepared his reel and traditional set (usually, for boys competitions, there are so few competitors, that all recall and must be prepared to dance a traditional set). I watched his competition, and the U13 boys (two have danced at feiseanna with M in the past). OHBoy ended up placing 5th, qualifying for Nationals, and getting a sash. He even broke a smidgen of a smile going up on stage Sunday night for this.

"Just so you know, K didn't recall. I know y'all know what to do." "Should I go talk with her?" Ah, LessConformingGirl's dad told us the news. LCGirl didn't recall, either, even if she AND K both truly looked good just with really tough competition. K was a little sad during awards that night. LCGirl had told me Saturday night that it was over for her. I talked with her, sincerely. Not because of my talk,but in general, she was fine by Sunday when we heard K had not recalled. At least K's 4-hand team recalled:)

"....you're not competing against others, you're competing against yourself." A mother I overheard talking with a girl she was walking with, presumably her daughter after not recalling. While I agree generally that one competes against oneself, this IS technically a competition against others, and so the Oireachtas is a bit of both. Not sure if that matters, though. The girl was calm, and was obviously supported emotionally by her mother. THAT is what counts more.

"So, if there are only three groups in Choreography, do they automatically get at least third?" Another parent, basically trying to figure out if her son would need to be in costume and present for awards Sunday night. M's team did a great job. Basically, it's a lot of work to create and prepare a choreography or a dance drama, including a lot of practice time in addition to any other practices and dances learned. That's part of the reason that there were only three entries in their age range (U-15). The school who won first, to me, clearly won that first. The school that won second could have tied with M's school, from what I could tell (slight lineup issue once each). Beautiful, nicely done, yet with arm movements that I didn't know if it should have been more in dance drama or not, vice choreography. The five judges were under no requirement to award placement to all who competed. M's team did get up there and performed well, fit the rules of the competition, and did earn their award. They received third. Even if it's out of three potential placements, they earned that third place.

"That's the best we've ever danced it." The other girl in the mixed 4-hand ceili of M's. They really did look good. Both Ma and FiguresTeacher were surprised that their team didn't recall. I am, also. Ah, well. Five judges. Theirs was the only jig, so danced alone and not with another team. They were disappointed but okay.

Please note: No photos, still or video, are allowed of competitions during competitions. This was taken AFTER the judges rang the bell, releasing the dancers off stage and completing their competition. I'm still proud:) (Also, the date stamp is wrong, sigh, OHBoy's mother thought she had auto-flash on her camera but it was off and she had no photos (I sent her some), and I had M's digital camera and didn't know at the time how to take off or fix the incorrect date. Hey, we're not from the technologically-savvy generations!)

"Is that your medal? Don't lose it, your thousand dollar medal." "Thousand dollar medal?" "Yes, that's about what it cost [to travel here]." Parents and dancers after awards, dance gear and medals strewn about, while waiting for two Nationally-qualifying friends to pick up their results / scores.

"Can we go up the tower?" It was one "Atlanta" thing I could have M do, other than visiting "the" Underground for food (basically a mall like Crystal City underground, just smaller I think). They went up to the Sundial, a restaurant that spins around 73 floors up, and M and others could view Atlanta lit up at night. For the most part, the elevators were insanely not even worth waiting for.

"Inspire, not intimidate." MegaMAID on Sunday night, after some dancers and parents had gathered for ice cream. MegaMAID is hopeful that is how the dancers who came to SRO 2007 feel.

"Welcome to Washington." Me, as the Floridian next to us woke up after we landed at Washington Reagan National Airport. Later, I saw her change out of her flip flops.

"I liked your choreography." A National-qualifying dancer from another local ID school, who flew in on the same flight as us. She'd tried to be discrete as she turned her head to read the ID school name printed going down M's sleeve.

"I preferred it [the weather in] in Atlanta." M Monday afternoon, as we battled 40-50 mph winds while taking our luggage to my vehicle. "I can feel the moisture in the air." Also M, who noticed like I did and others as to how very dry it felt in the hotels in Atlanta. We're home, and that feels good, too. (For the record, today it SNOWED!!!)

And, then the non-sound moments worth remembering:

The practially fainting anticipation of a parent, practically sliding down the post she was leaning against, then happiness, as we waited to hear her daughter's name called. And waited. And waited. The announcer starts with the recalled dancer who placed furthest, leading up to those who placed first (sometimes after calling up those who are in the very top top). Every name called that was not her daughter's name, meant one placement higher. Finally, this girls name was called, barely into the Nationally-qualifing dancers for her competition. Their goal this year.

The big, sincere hug from friend LF after I went up to congratulate him and his ceili-teammates on their 1st place win.

The surprise on the face of the champion dancer who won the competition that appeared questionable, again, a superb dancer of apparent good character just as the others in that competition are, as far as I know, just seemed potentially political.

The trying not to be sad face of K during awards, who brightened when her friend, also a K, sat with her, them playing "draw a letter on my back and I'll guess what it is" quiet games, happily.

The entrancement of, and standing ovation by, the audience watching the Billy the Kid dance drama. "Udderly" fantastic.

The beaming faces on M, and others, after going on stage for their Southern Region Oireachtas 2007 medals. (Seems the boys didn't make it onstage -- there were I believe 16 dancers total.)

Priceless.

Tags: Oireachtas, Southern Region Oireachtas, SRO 2007